Chapter 3—Is It Wrong?
Quistis could not sleep. She sat up in bed and tried to take a deep, calming breath but her chest felt tight and constricted. The softly-illuminated alarm clock seemed to be taunting her as the glowing numbers mercilessly marked the turn of yet another hour. It's 4 in the morning, thought Quistis, angrily fluffing her pillow and sinking into the bed sheets once more. She knew it wouldn't be long before she would start hearing birds chirping outside her room and see the first rays of sunrise peaking through the closed blinds. She turned sharply onto her left side, away from the window. Her head felt as heavy as lead but her mind relentlessly replayed the night's events. Well, she thought, smiling bitterly, if she had accepted Seifer's invitation, she wouldn't be getting any sleep at all regardless. At that thought, her mind starting racing again, locked in a struggle with her exhausted body that craved much needed relief. Moments before she finally slipped into a fitful, restless sleep, she realized that if the opportunity ever presented itself again, she would not be able to say no so easily.
The next morning, Saturday, she woke up with a slight headache. She glanced at the clock, shocked to see that it was already nearly noon. Even on the weekends, Quistis rarely allowed herself to sleep past ten. No classes today, she thought gratefully. Stretching luxuriously, she slipped on her peach robe and stumbled slightly toward the bathroom. The cold water that poured out of the faucet shocked her fully awake as she looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't get a chance to remove her make up carefully the night before and now her eyes were rimmed with black eyeliner and mascara smudges. She sighed and washed her face, allowing the cold water to rejuvenate her senses. Running on autopilot, she turned the shower knob, letting the water run until it warmed up before slipping out of her robe and night shirt and stepping under the cascading stream of water. She inhaled deeply, relishing in the feel of warmth that penetrated deep under her skin. Though normally fairly low maintenance, Quistis did allow herself to indulge in a guilty pleasure of a collection of scented body washes and bubble baths that neatly lined the counter next to the bathtub. Spiced candy apple was her favorite scent—crisp, sweet, yet subtle, it reminded her of a perfect autumn day, which happened to be her favorite season. She got it for her birthday, which also happened to be in October, not long after she received her license to become an instructor.
The same age as the majority of her students, Quistis found being an instructor somewhat isolating. Many of her students idolized her as the image of perfection, which made it difficult to form attachments to people her own age. Dating was even more complicated and rumors regarding her short-lived relationship with Adrian, even though he wasn't even in any of her classes, still circulated in hushed whispers around the school. She was surprised that Headmaster Cid never called her into his office after news about their relationship broke out. She guessed that he recognized her need to socialize with others her own age. Still lost in thought, Quistis carefully lathered her arms and chest, as the foamy water cascaded in rivulets down to her shapely hips and long, slender legs. She was about to shampoo her hair when she realized that she would have to do it all over again after returning from her usual workout at the Training Center later that day. Relishing in the steamy water for another minute, she turned off the shower and reached for a fluffy white towel. Sliding once more into her silk bathrobe, she exited the bathroom and went to make the bed, as she did every morning. Now what? She thought.
An image of Seifer flashed before her eyes. Out of her routine activities, Quistis's mind once more turned to last night's events. Feeling slightly silly and guilty despite being in the privacy of her bedroom but unable resist, Quistis crossed the room in three long strides, and opening the closet door, she picked up the black shirt she wore last night. She brought it slowly to her nose, inhaling deeply. The scent of Seifer's cologne was faint but still present. She suddenly felt winded, her heart plummeting into her stomach for a brief second. She felt a strong, irrational desire to see him again, to feel him wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace as he did on the dance floor the night before. He is a student, she reasoned, not one of her students at the moment but he could be assigned to one of her classes at any time. Instructor… He called me Instructor… Your reputation precedes you… Isn't that what he said? I find it sexy.
Quistis threw the shirt back into the closet and quickly shutting the door, she sat down on the couch. Her logical mind knew that getting involved was a dangerous idea but Quistis couldn't shake the feeling that something unusual passed between them last night. Something had shifted inside her slightly as she pressed herself against his body at the club, letting go, surrendering to the beat of the music and his touch. For the first time in her life, she felt a strong, indescribable urge to act, to seek him out. This is ridiculous, she thought. Remembering Selphie's words from the night before, Quistis felt a surprising pang of jealousy. I don't know anything about him. He was probably just looking for a one night stand… Then he could brag to all his friends how made it with an instructor. No decent guy makes that kind of offer on the first meeting... Then he even tried to cover it up! Remembering Adrian's bet with his friends made her shudder with disgust. No, she wasn't going to seek out Seifer Almasy again. Let all the other immature girls be entrapped in his web. So jaded… Annoyed and her resolve fading fast, Quistis pulled her slightly damp hair into ponytail and stood once more in front of her closet. Finally, coming to a conclusion that a good work out was definitely what she needed to get this insanity out of her system, she started to get dressed. Her stomach rumbled in hunger and she thought that it would be a good idea to stop by the cafeteria for a small plate of chocoberry pancakes before heading off to the Training Center. She quickly finished pulling on form-fitting black exercise pants and a tank and grabbing her signature chain whip she headed out the door.
The cafeteria was full of students, laughing, talking, and enjoying the Saturday brunch. Quistis grabbed a couple of pancakes and some juice and scanned the room for anyone she knew. In an intense rush of butterflies in the pit of her stomach, Quistis realized that Seifer could be in the cafeteria at this very moment. Noticing her hands trembling slightly, Quistis resolutely walked into the direction of an empty table at the back of the cafeteria.
"Quisty!" yelled an excited, female voice behind her and a moment later Selphie, who once again, donned on her short yellow dress, appeared beside her.
"Morning, Selph!" said Quistis, trying to appear normal.
"Morning? Are you feeling alright, Quisty? It's nearly one o'clock in the afternoon! Did you just recently get up?" she inquired curiously.
"Yeah, had some trouble sleeping last night," Quistis admitted. "Probably all the excitement of confronting Adrian again," she said, her cheeks flushing slightly.
"Uh huh," said Selphie, clearly unconvinced. "Get Seifer out of your head, Quisty. He's bad news. I know some people who have classes with him. He's nothing but a big jerk. I don't want you getting hurt again."
"Right," said Quistis, her heart plummeting. "Let's sit here, k?" she tried to say normally but her voice quivered slightly. Selphie raised an eyebrow but put down her tray of food on the empty table that Quistis was pointing to. Quistis bit into her pancake and put down the fork. Suddenly she wasn't hungry.
"Wow, Quisty. That Seifer guy sure did a number on you. Look at yourself—spacing out, not eating. This is not the Quisty I know." Me either thought Quistis.
"You're right, Selph," said Quistis, smiling, "I'm being dumb. How'd you know that I was thinking about Seifer anyway?" she asked. Selphie giggled.
"It wasn't hard, Quisty. It was written all over your face last night. You had that faraway, glazed over look in your eyes when you told me about dancing with him. Plus, I just know these things, hehe."
"So…" said Quistis tentatively. "What specifically have you heard about Seifer?" She looked away, blushing once more. Selphie choked and set down her glass of orange juice. She faced Quistis and put her arms on Quistis's shouders.
"Listen to me. Get him out of your head. Adrian was bad enough. Seifer is an arrogant, self-assured, self-centered asshole who has broken more than one heart. Plus, look at who he hangs out with. Raijin, who is so dumb he can barely string two sentences together and Fujin… Have you ever met anyone more weird and antisocial? And he is always with them!" Selphie wrinkled her nose. "Running around Garden, putting people in detention, like they rule the school or something… Seifer thrives on making other people miserable and his Disciplinary Committee gig is nothing but a way for him to bully people," she finished.
Personally, Quistis thought that was a low blow. It's not always easy to find friends and it seems like Seifer's friends are at least loyal to him. Plus, Quistis reasoned, last night he protected me from a real creep like Adrian… and… Suddenly, Quistis realized it. It felt good to have someone fight for her. It felt good to have someone look at her the way Seifer looked at her. It felt good to give in to him as he pushed away all shreds of resistance. Was it wrong to give in to lust? Was it wrong to want him just for the sake of wanting him?
"Forget it, Selphie," Quistis said finally. After taking another halfhearted bite of her food, she set aside her plate and fork and stood up. "I'm going to the Training Center. I'll see you later, k?"
"Wait, Quisty! I didn't mean to say anything mean. I just didn't want to see you get hurt again," Selphie pleaded.
"I know, Selph. I gotta go," said Quistis giving Selphie a reconciliatory smile. Grabbing her chain whip, she exited the cafeteria. Halfway down the path to the Training Center, she remembered that she had left her water bottle in the classroom after her last class. Annoyed, she took the elevator to the second floor and unlocked the door to her classroom. Quickly grabbing the bottle, she retraced her steps and pressed the elevator's down button. A few seconds later the door chimed and opened and Quistis found herself face to face with none other than Seifer Almasy. For a moment, Seifer looked surprised but recovered quickly.
"Well, well… Instructor Trepe," he said teasingly, his eyes scanning her slim figure. "I wasn't counting on having the pleasure of seeing you again so soon."
