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DERRBALAAM
Ichigo commits suicide and no one knows why, so his friends in Soul Society decide to find him and ask. But the only clue to his location and motive is his journal, which reveals parts of the man that his friends never expected, and never thought were possible…
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach (No Szayel in a dress, sad isn't it? ^.-)
ShatterGlass Hearts
Ichigo Journal Entry 15
It's almost over, almost but not. Goat face is gone. That bastard Espada killed him and died soon after. I cut the bastard in two. I never would have imagined… it hurts to know the big idiot is gone. Karin and Yuzu cried for days, they didn't understand how it happened. I had to tell them, that was the hardest thing I have EVER had to do. It's horrible knowing that he's never going to ambush me when I come home, ever again. I just… I just… I miss my dad. Idiotic as he was, he was always there to come home to. Even when things got rough I could come home and he would always act the same.
When he found out he came to visit me, I'm not sure if that helped or made things worse. Is it possible to be grieving over family and unrequited love at the same time? I still haven't told him, I feel like a coward for not telling him. But really, how can I? He seems to be grieving over someone himself… I wonder who it is… Never mind, I have to go and arrange a funeral for Dad.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore…the last battle should be soon, that bastard Aizen only has two espada left. I swear I'll throw a party when he's finally gone. All of this is his doing… all because he decided to play God. Everyone who has been hurt, Dad, everything is that assholes fault. I think everyone will be glad when he's dead. But it won't bring dad back, nothing will…
Hitsugaya's POV
I reread the tear stained pages several times. I never knew that Ichigo had been the one to organize his father's funeral. I would of thought that someone would have offered to help.
Wait, I think that was the day that I went to see him. Does that mean I am the one he… no, that isn't possible. Someone else must have come after or before I did. But what if…
Once again my thoughts were interrupted by the others' approach.
"No luck Hitsugaya-taicho." Matsumoto yells.
We've been searching for five days now. There has been no sign of Ichigo yet. We have only visited three of the districts so far. I still hope to find him. No I have to find him. I need to tell him that I love him, and if…
If I am the one that he was talking about I'll ream his ass, then I'll kiss him until he can't see straight! If I'm not, then… I guess he'll know. I may run like hell, no that won't work he's faster than I am. Damn…
"Don't worry Hitsugaya-taicho, we'll find him. We still have seventy seven districts we haven't searched, and he has to be here somewhere!"
"I know Matsumoto, I was contemplating where to search next."
That was an outright lie, I was really wondering whether or not I was crazy to think, to hope, I might be the one he loved so much.
Third Person Omniscient
"All right! On to the next district!" Ikkaku shouted.
The little group proceeded to search another district. At the end of the day there was still no sign of Ichigo, so the little group settled into an Inn for the night. Captain Hitsugaya sighed as he settled onto the bed. He reached over into one of his bags and pulled out Ichigo's journal. He turned it over in his hand a couple of times, stroking the front cover. Only then did he see the bloodstain on one corner of the black cover.
"If only I had known what you were planning, if I had just seen… I will find you. And when I do I won't ever let you go." With a single tear running down his face Hitsugaya Toshirou settled into his pillow to read, still stroking the last connection to his love.
