Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. I wish I did. But all I own is my little idea of Ed going through phases.
There is mentioning of STD's and male genitalia in here. So leave if you don't want to read that.
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Next was Edward's preppy phase.
Rather than being called, he walked immediately to Roy Mustang's office.
"Lykee, oh em gee, Roy, what do you, lyke, think of my outfit?" Roy nearly has a heart attack at the way Edward phrased the sentence. Roy looked Edward over: red, plaid shirt and holey jeans.
"Holy shit, shrimp."
"Nooo, man. Lobster. I'm, lyke, rich." –Ed does a creepy high pitched laugh—
"Girl." Roy said as he signed his paperwork.
"You're, lykee, sooo mean. I haven't felt sooo betrayed in lykee sooo long." Edward said, badly quoting a commercial of The Hills he saw last night. Roy raised an eyebrow.
"That can hardly be defined as betraying, Fullmetal."
"Lykee, oh em gee, don't look at me lyke that."
"Fullmetal, you are acting more girly that Hawkeye would even consider acting."
"Liar."
"I wouldn't doubt if you were to show up wearing a miniskirt tomorrow with this fad."
"PREPS DON'T WEAR MINISKIRTS! AND NEITHER DO GIRLS THAT AREN'T HOES!" Edward yelled, having never forgot Roy's womanizing and tendency to like girls in miniskirts.
"Hey now. I like girls in miniskirts."
"Yeah, I KNOW. I read your goddamned shirt." Edward replied, referring to a shirt of Roy's that read: 'I dig girls in miniskirts'. "Basturd." He murmured some more about all the STD's that Roy probably has, and Roy mostly caught names such as herpes, gonorrhea, and bleeding, swollen dicks. Roy cleared his throat and Edward stopped, glaring at him.
"Edward. Need I discuss the matter of my STD's, or lack of?" Edward flushed, not expecting this. Roy continued. "If I had herpes, you probably would have seen the bumps at sometime during your...browsing. If I had gonorrhea, well, let's just say you'd feel some burning when you...well, you know what it is you do." –Roy smirked at Edward's deeper blush— "And lastly, if my dick was bleeding and swollen, your eyesight has to be pretty bad not to notice when we—."
"Okay, okay. Stop. I get it." Edward felt humiliated and defeated.
"You're too angry with your superiors to be a prep, Fullmetal."
For once, it was Edward that smirked, not Roy. "Lyke, whatev."
He knew it was time to quit the prep phase.
By this time, it seemed as though Edward could only keep a phase for a day before he decided against it.
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A/N: Yeah, Ed's an angry little prep.
By the way, "oh em gee" is omg. Get it?
Also, if you have any suggestions on phases to do next, blurt them out. I'd like to hear them. I already have been told emo, and I'm definitely going to do that.
