Author: DPD
Rating: M for language and guy-on-guy action.
Pairings: Edward/Jasper
Disclaimer: SM owns it all, but my pervy mind and thoughts.
Summary: This is a sad, dark, yet beautiful slash story about Edward, who came to my offices to discuss his past. His partner, James had killed himself. My heart grieved for his loss, until his dark secret was revealed to me. Contains hardcore kink, fetishes, scat play and golden showers. WARNING: not for the faint hearted.
A/N: This is a slash story. If you are not into man on man sex, walk away. If you are under 18, walk away. There are kinky disturbing images including paraphilia like coprophilia and urolagnia. If you have a weak stomach, walk away. There are plenty of other stories for you to read. If you don't know what those terms mean, please google them.
I want to thank my three musketeers Athos, Porthos and Aramis for helping me make this fic almost pleasant for you guys to read, and for convincing me to post it. I want to thank my friend D'Artagnan for the banner she made for Nasty. You can find the link to it in my profile.
There are some stomach churning parts in this chapter that could gross you out, you have been warned, so please no reviews sending me to the devil.
Believe me, I've already booked my place.
Nasty
Chapter 3
I noticed he breathed me in like a favored comforter freshly washed, and I could feel his lips touching my neck.- End of chapter 2.
He let go, and I needed to pull myself together. I walked to my chair and sat down, trying to speak, but he beat me to it.
Edward was already sat across from me with his elbows on his knees and his hands draped between his legs, "Thank you. I never knew I could feel so good again." His smile was plastered on his face, his eyes sparkling as Carlisle said.
"I didn't do anything. You opened up. It's all your own work."
"Okay…" he said, pursing his lips, "I just … I never thought of it all, not being a sickness. I thought I was sick for liking that," he looked up at me, examining my face.
I mirrored his gaze back and replied, "People like different things, Edward. Especially when they are being intimate. Nothing you have told me so far makes me think you were trying to hurt each other or harm each other in any way. As you said yourself, you felt cared for. I know you didn't tell me everything, though. Do you wish to speak more about it, or do you need to speak of something else?"
Please, please, choose not to say anything further about this.
"I need to finish." He answered. I just nodded.
"We ended up when you said you wouldn't be the passive one in your relationship with James?"
"I was a coward," he said, lowering his eyes.
"What makes you say that?" I tilted my head, frowning at his comment.
"I don't know why I was so stubborn with this. I was a petty child who would only accept things my way."
"I need you to tell me what made you reach those conclusions."
"James was alone. He would have done anything to be with me. He accepted any conditions I imposed. When I was accepted into Julliard, I told him I would go anyway, and if he didn't want to come with me, it was over between us. I knew he would come with me. He had been accepted at MIT. He was brilliant in everything he did. But he quit his dream school to be with me. I never gave him credit for that; I was an arrogant selfish bastard."
"Once we were in New York, I know I pulled away a bit. I needed to practice, study, be around people from my field; he was always with me. I only met a friend or two he made in college. He never went to parties or anywhere people from his school invited him to go because of me. He knew I was tired in the evenings and wouldn't be able to go. One day he was ready to go out when I arrived home from school tired; I threw a tantrum because he was going by himself."
"He ended up staying."
Edward stood up and walked about the room. "I feel guilty; not for him choosing to end his life. I knew it would have made no difference, him being with me or without me in the end. He chose not to live in pain. He chose not to live. But I'm guilty for him going looking for sex somewhere else…"
My stomach sank, and I knew what was coming. I could hear the tick-tock of the time bomb clicking. Edward was leaning on the edge of the other side of my desk, almost sitting on it with his back to me. His eyes looking out of the windows I suppose.
"James pushed me really far. After wiping me and fingering me in the bathroom, he did it again, but it was worse this time. He walked in on me in the bathroom, knelt in front of me, circling his arms around my waist. It felt good having him holding me like that. I hadn't started going yet, and I felt…" he sighed deeply as if trying to find the strength to verbalize his thoughts. His right hand went to his face, pinching on the bridge of his nose. He ran the hand through his auburn hair and went on. "I felt his fingers on my ass, brushing against it, the tip slowly sliding into me.
"And I heard his words … 'Do it, Baby. Do it for me.' I didn't protest. It felt too good being like that in his warmth. I pushed it out, and I felt his finger in and out of me as I did it."
There was another long pause; I don't know who needed it most him or me. My stomach was churning, and his hair was being punished by his long slender fingers. Edward then grasped the edge of the desk with both of his hands, looked up, took a deep breath and went on.
"That became the routine. I loved it. He would do that while sucking my cock, stroking me, until I came right after being done. He would turn the water on and wash me, from head to toe. Then we would go to bed, and I would make love to him. I couldn't live without him anymore. I had my life reorganized to be with him as much as possible. I missed so many classes just to be with him, I don't know how I graduated."
"But, one day … I was in bed on a Sunday morning and was about to get up to go to the bathroom, and he stopped me, asking me where I was going. I told him, and he immediately said 'I want you to go here … I wanna watch you go.' I told him I wasn't doing that there; it would ruin our bed. He stood up and grabbed a couple of towels, rushing back to bed and saying they weren't being used and could be ruined."
Edward sighed once again, and it was time for me to face the truth. Edward was never pushed to do anything. He did everything out of his own will. And he liked it. How would he face a relationship with someone else where he wouldn't have that?
"James took my pants off, and first he drank me. I needed to be careful, do it slowly so he wouldn't gag and spill it everywhere. Then he carefully placed me on his side of the bed, where he had already laid the towels. I was face down in the pillow. I could not look at him while I did that. I felt him massaging my butt cheeks. His fingers sliding by my hole. I should have known he wouldn't just watch. I felt him parting my cheeks and his finger sliding inside me. That was enough for me to let go.
"As I pushed it out, I heard him saying 'God, this is beautiful … as beautiful as watching you come, Baby.' I felt decadent. But I felt loved. He was able to love me even like that."
Edward slid to the floor behind my desk. I couldn't see him anymore.
"Are you okay, Edward?" I asked, intrigued.
"Yeah … I'm fine." He replied in a small voice. "The minute I was almost done, I felt him straddle my legs. I felt his hands on my butt cheeks, and … And I felt the tip of his cock pushing into me."
Edward went quiet—too quiet.
"Edward, are you okay?" I got no answer. "Edward?" And I heard him sobbing; I couldn't keep away from him anymore. I jumped to where he was, kneeling down in front of him. "Are you okay? Talk to me!"
Edward held me by my shirt and pulled me to him, burying his face in the crook of my neck, sobbing uncontrollably while trying to speak, "I … I … I never said no … I …"
"Shhhhhh, that's okay … you don't need to say anything more." His crying became even more desperate, and I could hardly understand his words between his sobs. "I ... I never said stop. I let him … I let him fuck me. He fucked me, and I … liked it … I did."
He was still holding onto me as if he were holding onto life. His cries were loud, and I was praying Alice couldn't hear them. If she walked in, I would probably lose him again.
"I didn't say no … I … I had an orgasm." And slowly, his sobbing weakened but not his grip on my shirt. He even snuggled further into my chest. I reached for his face, wiping the tears with my fingers. I felt him kiss them. I pretended not to notice.
He went on, "I remembered what I told him the first day in the boarding school. I said … I said I would never be anyone's bitch. And I hated myself for letting him fuck me. Before he could do anything, I pulled him out of me and rushed to the bathroom cursing him and promising I would never touch him again and would never let him touch me."
Holding him, I rocked us back and forth, trying to calm him down. He was still crying, and I felt like my heart was missing a piece.
"He couldn't take my rejection … looked for sex somewhere else. He should have known I would never do that; I would never shut him out of my life for long. He should've…"
"Shhhhhh. It's okay. That was not your fault. He could have coped better. You didn't cheat on him, did you?" He shook his head no. "So he could've gone alone for a while longer, waiting a little more, giving you time to come around. Especially, if he was still living with you." He never noticed I was using information that he wasn't the one to provide.
"He got sick … I got mad at him for putting me at risk, for putting his own life at risk. I threw him out when I should have helped him. I was the only one he had!"
He started crying convulsively. I held him tighter and cried with him. He was right. They had been taking care of each other for years. He was the only one James had at that time; he should have never thrown him out. How would he ever cope with the guilt? How could I help him?
"Where did he go?" I murmured in his ear.
"My parents … they ... they took care of him. I … I ended up coming back home to be close to him. I loved him." I just nodded.
"Did you get back together?"
"No … not sexually. My dad wouldn't allow us to sleep in the same bedroom. He was already hurting. He was losing a son already. Didn't wanna lose another, he said."
Edward's hands let go of my shirt, going straight to his cheeks, trying to dry his tears from there and his eyes.
"Dad wanted me to be tested. I just couldn't. I wouldn't know what to do if I were sick too. I hadn't been with James for three months when he found out. I needed to wait three more to take the test. But … but I was with him for everything else. Doctor appointments, tests … I took care of his medication, his food. Mom helped, too."
"Why didn't he go to his folks' house?"
"They didn't want him there." His voice was still really shaky. At this point, I was holding him in my arms, cocooning him to me, caressing his hair. My tears mixed with his, running down my cheeks landing on his.
"He asked me if I still loved him; I said yes. He asked me to make love to him; I said no. I was too afraid. I couldn't. A few days later he … he O.D.'d. He had never used drugs before that."
Edward's voice broke down; his sobbing increased, and shaking, he collapsed on my shoulder. I cradled him in my arms and tried to calm him down "Edward, none of that was your fault. You have no responsibility over the choices James made! Your reaction to what he did was normal. You were even more generous than you needed to be. You didn't throw him out. You were good to him even when you were feeling betrayed by him. He betrayed your trust; invaded your body without asking for permission. And when you said he wouldn't touch you anymore, we know between two people that love each other, those things are said but quickly forgotten. He pushed you over the edge."
I said all these things in a quiet soothing voice; even though internally, I was a complete wreck. I took another couple of deep breaths before continuing.
"He had no right to cheat, though. He had absolutely no right to ask you to make love to him and risk your health, knowing he was sick. He didn't think about all you had together before choosing to be with someone else, risking his health and yours, and despite all he did, you came back for him. You took care of him; quit your life in New York to be with him in his time of need. You have nothing to blame yourself for."
Edward stopped shaking and exhaled. Soon I felt his body go limp. I could feel something wasn't right. I don't know where I found the strength to pick him up in my arms, stand up and take him to the couch in my arms. He was way taller and more muscular than I was. Adrenaline rush, maybe?
I called for Alice, and as she walked in, she knew she needed to call someone.
"Call Carlisle!" I shouted.
"Maybe calling 911 would be better?" she questioned.
"Call them both! I'll bet Carlisle arrives first!"
Edward had his eyes open but was unresponsive. He was there, but his mind seemed to be somewhere else. Calling his name a few times, he suddenly looked into my eyes. I pleaded him to talk to me. When he replied, he said he had said everything. I noticed he was back and held him close again. I called Alice, and she came back into my office quickly. I told her to call everybody and say everything was okay.
I held Edward for a long time, feeling his warmth on my skin, the wetness of his cheeks, his breath fanning on my face. His eyelashes were damp, framing his perfect eyes against the pale skin. When I was ready to let him go, I did it slowly. But Edward had other thoughts and circling an arm, reached for the back of my neck, pulling my face to his, stopping right before our lips could touch. His eyes were blazing, shifting from mine to my lips.
He darted out his tongue and licked my bottom lip. His moist warm tongue felt like silk on my lip, but I couldn't; we couldn't.
"We can't do this. Edward, we can't do this." He closed his eyes, but I wanted him to look at me.
"Open your eyes and look at me, Edward!" I commanded him―He obeyed.
"I'm your doctor. I'm still your doctor. Maybe this isn't right. Maybe you need someone who can really treat you with nothing clouding his thoughts."
"What is it that is clouding your thoughts?" he asked, looking deep into my eyes, demanding an explanation by his tone.
At that very moment, Carlisle came in and rushed to Edward, who clammed up immediately.
"What's going on? I came as fast as I could!" Carlisle asked, kneeling down, already checking Edward's pulse.
"I think I had low blood pressure, Dad … I'm okay now ... Really." Carlisle measured everything he could; temperature, blood pressure, glucose. His blood pressure was still a little low, but we gave him some salt, and Carlisle was satisfied.
Edward left his car here and rode home with Carlisle. We didn't exchange a word from the moment Carlisle arrived to the moment they left together.
I was spent.
I felt like I was trapped in a movie; like someone from the outside would be able to tell me what to do, but I couldn't find the perfect solution to my case. I wondered if I should talk to Carlisle; he was the only one I could talk to about this case.
Lost in thought, I hardly noticed Alice coming in.
"Hey Jazz, you look exhausted. Is there something I can do?" She sounded really concerned, and when I looked up at her, her eyes were fixed on me with a furrowed brow of concern adorning her face.
"Thanks, Alice … But I don't think so." I answered, shaking my head no.
Sighing, she asked her next question, "Is he gonna be okay?"
"Better than me, I guess. He is pulling through. Started talking and also listening."
"Listening? As in listening for advice?" she asked, puzzled. She knew I never did that. She knew I generally talked to my patients so as to have them realize what they needed to perceive. But this time I knew I was doing everything wrong, especially when Alice's already concerned face started eyeing me like my mother would when I stepped home with my filthy shoes after playing in the muddy backyard.
"Alice … We don't really talk to each other. He talks; I listen. There is no reasoning, because when he starts, he sounds like a machine gun. I'm so afraid that he'll shut me out again that I never interrupt him until he decides to stop. And then, all the talk in me is gone, because the things he tells me are so appalling … Oh God, I don't know what to do."
"Dr. Hale, how long has it been since your last appointment with Dr. Black?"
She called me Dr. Hale; that meant I was in trouble, double trouble, because she reminded me that I was also skipping my appointments. I had forgotten all about that.
We therapists have a habit of being treated by a therapist as a way to keep us sane. Dr. Black had gone to his reservation for a month, and since he came back, I hadn't seemed to find the time to go see him.
I don't know why, but the idea of seeing him didn't look so appealing to me at that point.
"I can't talk about this with Jacob. He is not Edward's doctor."
"I wish you would quit being so silly. This has nothing to do with Edward and all to do with you. The boy is fighting his demons while you are just feeding yours!" Throwing her hands to the air with a desperate tone.
Alice was right.
That same day, I called Jake and asked him to see me. I ended up in his office the very same evening.
Jake was a great doctor with very unconventional methods. I hardly ever had any important issues to discuss with him, but it was procedure. I needed someone to listen to me, too.
Arriving at his office, I took my seat and noted the frown on Jake's forehead; I looked that bad.
I told him all that went on from the first time I met Edward 'til the last minutes he was in my office, leaving out the feelings I had for him since the very first moment we'd met.I was ashamed of my behaviour; I didn't know how talking to Jake would help.
"So, you are telling me Carlisle came to ask you to see his son?" I nodded.
"And you said you would?" I nodded again.
"And please make me understand why you accepted this. You have a close relationship with Carlisle! We are not totally impartial when we have a relationship with the patient's family."
I needed to explain myself. "Carlisle is a good friend. He asked me to see his son because Edward wouldn't agree to see anyone else."
"Oh my God, Jay … How can you be so naive?" he asked, amused; frowning at me once more.
"What?" I spat back at his comment.
"Have you asked yourself why he accepted to see you? He knew who you were; he knew you were easy on the eye; he knew you were gay!" He finished, raising his brows as if the point he was trying to make was so obvious.
I was mad that he was implying I was hired to be with Edward in a non-professional way. I stood up and shouted, "Are you suggesting that Edward consciously accepted to see me because he wanted to fuck me?"
Jacob laughed, hard; maybe surprised I used that kind of language. It was something he had never heard from me before.
"I don't know, and I don't care who would be doing the fucking, Jay…" He kept on chuckling, and I wanted to punch him in the face for that. "And no, not consciously. I'm not implying they did it consciously. I'm not implying you all did it consciously."
"We all?" I looked at him with my brows up in distrust.
"Yeah … I'm not convinced you were not attracted to him from the start, right from when you saw him at your graduation."
"Are you accusing me of accepting to treat Carlisle's son to get into his pants?" I seethed, standing up walking around his desk and stopping right in front of the chair. He moved to face me.
Jake rolled his eyes. "Nooo ... I already said that, not consciously. You are all to blame in this; you, Edward and Carlisle. At the same time, too innocent to think this would have worked for all of you. Now go around and sit back down, will you?" I ran my hand through my hair and sighed in frustration.
"I don't get it …" I said, sitting back on the couch with my elbows on my knees while my hands punished my hair and supported my head.
"What I mean is ... Carlisle knew it was not the best idea to ask one of his friends, in this case even worse, his former student, someone who worshiped him in Uni, to treat his son. Edward must have remembered you and accepted you to treat him because of a sense of pleasure he must have felt in your company the first time you met. You had at least one reason to accept this, pleasing Carlisle and fulfilling his request."
"At least?"
"I still don't believe you didn't feel anything for the guy when you two first met." He looked at me with questioning eyes.
"Come on, Jake! It's not because I'm gay that I feel attracted to every cute guy I meet!"
"Hah!" Jake crowed in triumph, throwing his pen onto his paper. "See! You confirm he is cute!" When I was about to protest, he went on. "If I were gay and someone like him showed up in front of me, Dear Lord! I would be all over him within seconds!"
"What?" I was wide eyed and completely floored.
"I am man enough to recognize when a man looks good, Jay… and Edward is a Greek God, for all I know…" His smile was carved on his face so wide and playful; I didn't know what to make of it.
FUCK.
"You feel it, don't you?" he accused.
"Okay, I did, at first. But then by his interaction with James, I felt we were … sexually incompatible." And I could feel the blush creep up my cheeks.
"You mean like … the top and bottom thing?" I wished for the ground to open and swallow me whole!
"Yes, Jacob … that!" was all I could articulate.
"Don't be embarrassed, Jay. We never discussed your sex life, because apparently, you didn't used to have one. Always waiting for someone special to show up at your door, wrapped as a Christmas gift since you never go out or take a chance on meeting anyone."
"I've been alone for a while." I agreed.
"Since when? Can you even remember?"
"Last time was … I guess in college. Oh, no! Got a one night stand a few years back, but it all went so wrong I just gave up trying." I shook my head.
"Okay, not the therapist but the friend speaking here now, okay?" Jake asked.I answered by nodding.
"How much do you like this guy?" His eyes were burning with mischief now.
"I don't like him." I tried to deceive him, but my voice was so weak, I wouldn't have fooled a fly.
"Bullshit! You lost control because you feel something for him. Your thoughts are hazy because your feelings are stronger than your power to control them! Tell me, since when did you like this guy?" he insisted, his voice louder and demanding.
I didn't know. I didn't know whether I liked him, or lusted for him, or wanted him. All I knew was that I wanted him to heal, to not feel responsible for something that was out of his control, and yes, I felt like hugging him, breathing him in, feeling his lips on mine.
"I … I felt a pull the first time we met. Then the first time he walked into my office looking spooked and trapped. And ever since then, it's getting stronger by the minute. He is the one I wake up thinking of, and he is my last thought when I close my eyes at night."
In a softer, comprehensive voice, he continued his reasoning, "And yet, you didn't let him kiss you. You, my friend, are the strongest man I have ever had the chance to meet." I shook my head while he kept on, "Do you think you were clear enough when you said you were not going to treat him anymore?"
"I think I was. If I wasn't, I will be next time we meet." I said, acknowledging my defeat. No matter what, I had to be more professional than that. I couldn't let my feelings cloud my mind. I was disappointed with myself. I felt like a loser at this point.
"Do it … and then ask him out!" he said between chuckles, mischief back on his face.
I just wished he weren't so big so I could have a shot at beating him up! I ended up laughing with him. I only wish things were that simple.
The next day I was in my office during lunch break. Alice had brought me a salad, which I had already eaten, when I heard a knock at the door.
"Come in!" I shouted, obliviously thinking it was Alice again. I kept on shuffling around some papers on my desk. I turned to look at the door since I didn't hear the pixie's voice, and she would never be this quiet anyway.
Closing the door behind him, there he was―his face puzzled and unreadable.
"Hi." Was all I could say. I felt powerless in his presence.
Still leaning against the door, his hands between the door and his back, he started the enquiry.
"Did I misunderstand you yesterday, or did you quit treating me?"
Oh, fuck.
"Edward … Edward, there is a tension between us. Something, that is not helping. I don't know if I'm able to surpass that. I'm sure you will be better off with a different doctor."
Edward strode in my direction and only stopped when his body was trapping me against my desk. His hands were on the desk, on both sides of my body. His lips were inches from my ear. His body curved to reach my ear level, since he was almost a half a foot taller than me. His voice was harsh, but not menacing.
"I don't think anyone can do for me more than you've already done." I felt panic; I felt anxiety, but I also felt all the want and need I had for him. His body was so fucking close to mine, his scent invading my brain, numbing my thoughts.
"Edward, I didn't do anything. Opening up was all your effort; I had nothing to do with that. If you feel better about yourself now, it was your accomplishment; not mine." All of my nervousness showing in my shaky voice. My eyes closed in fear of what I would be capable of had I looked into his eyes.
"I opened up because I felt something for you. I opened up because I finally felt free to live my life again, not afraid of being sick and becoming a pariah, a burden to my parents, the walking dead. I opened up because I wanted you to know me! I wanted you to want me and accept me with all my faults and mistakes! I saw it in your eyes from the very first time we met! I knew you felt the attraction too. When I walked through that door the very first day, I kept praying I was healthy so I would have a shot with you. I never prayed so hard in all my life!"
Resting his forehead on my shoulder, he took a deep breath, and I felt the warm air leaving his nose, sweeping my shoulder. In a moment of extreme courage, I uttered my deepest feeling, so true, so real; I felt relieved once I let it out, "You have me …"
Edward moved to look into my eyes with his wide, green, glistening orbs, and for a moment, I don't think he believed what he had heard. Not looking away, I repeated it.
"You have me."
Edward crashed his lips to mine; they were demanding and desperate. I felt our teeth crashing, bruising each other's lips. Edward's hands were holding my head still, and I felt his tongue licking me all over, nipping, and softly biting every inch of my face. I only felt! I felt how desperate he was for me, too! I felt his ministrations moving down my neck; I felt his lips and teeth bruising my skin everywhere they landed, immediately followed by his soothing tongue. I felt his hard cock rubbing against mine as his body was flush with mine, dancing sensually up and down, and thrusting against my hip.
His scent was all over me, his breath warming up my soul, his hands travelling all over my back and sides. All I wanted was to have him inside me. I wanted nothing else. Suddenly, I remembered the door!
"The door, the door," I mumbled to him between moans.
"I locked it … I locked it so I could have you all to myself." He said unashamedly.
"Brilliant … Now shut up and fuck me!" It was urgent; it was animalistic. Edward turned me around and in seconds had his hands fumbling on my buttons and zipper. I slapped his hands away and undid it all myself while I felt him doing the same with his. This wasn't going to be romantic; it wasn't going to be slow and fluffy. I needed him to be wild! I needed him to mirror my feelings and needs!
Leaning across the desk, trying not to knock anything down, I reached for the tube of lube in my desk drawer. I felt Edward pulling me back as soon as he saw I got it. His right hand pulled my body flushed to his by my chin, huskily whispering, "Prepared, Doc?", taking the tube from my hand.
I didn't even blush when I answered "Gay Life 101…"
Edward pushed my pants down and out, letting his own pants only slide down to his knees. I felt his right hand behind my right knee, pulling it up onto the desk. I was open to him, at his mercy.
I felt his lube-slick fingers spreading the cold gel up and down my crack until he reached my puckered entrance, slowing down his movements. Bracing myself, I grasped the desk so hard my knuckles were white. I noticed his breathing also slowed down, and I felt his breath on my ear.
"How long has it been since you've had anyone inside you?" he whispered.
"Too long," was all I could breathlessly say.
I felt his fingers slide inside me slowly, and that was not what I wanted. Just because I had been a virtual monk where men were concerned, didn't mean that I hadn't had my own DIY fun.
"Don't want fingers … want you …" I murmured, thrusting back into his hand. My eyes were shut; all I could feel was his body, his hands … I was shut off to the rest of the world.
Soon his fingers slipped from inside me, and I felt him pressing the head of his cock against my hole. I hadn't even seen his cock, so I reached for it with my hand; to feel it, feel it sliding into me.
My own erection was on the verge of hurting. As I held his cock, aligning it to me, Edward circled his arm around me, holding my cock in his firm fist.
He was long. And I felt his cock inch by inch, in my hand and inside me, breaching my ring slowly, burning, gliding into my tunnel until I was on the tip of my toes, pushing against the desk, sheathing his cock completely inside me.
I felt Edward's forehead rest between my shoulder blades, his breathing heavy on my back. "Want your shirt off … need to feel your skin."
As I was unbuttoning my shirt, I felt him pulling it down forcefully. His cock buried inside me, immobile. I could feel it throbbing, twitching. As I was done unbuttoning mine, I heard a strange ripping sound and felt his buttons hitting my back. His arms were around me, pulling me into him, the heated flesh of his chest against my back.
I felt him start moving in and out of me slowly but powerfully. I heard the desk legs scratching the floor in the rhythm of his thrusts. My eyes were roaming about the room ahead of me. I could see the pencil holder shaking, almost tipping over the desk.
Edward was trembling, his craving mirroring mine. Suddenly I felt him pull his cock almost all the way out and then push it back in, saying, "I know I need to go slow … Though all I want is to slam inside you hard and fast …" His voice was almost a murmur, shaky and dripping desire, ending his sentence in a harsh, strong thrust into me.
The pencil holder finally flipped, and I could hear pencils and pens rolling across the desk, falling to the floor. He slid out of me slowly, plunging hard into me again as soon as only the head was left in, pushing me and the desk further, causing more stuff to fall to the floor.
I couldn't take the slow torture anymore. "Do it … Fuck me hard and fast … Slam your cock inside me. Please, do it …"
Edward pulled me to him, holding me, walking backwards until we reached the back of the sofa.
"Brace yourself on the back of the couch, Baby …" and so I did.
Edward's hips started slamming into mine, his cock massaging my insides, his mouth biting my back repeatedly, his sweat dripping from his forehead onto me. His hands were roaming everywhere while he fucked me just the way I wanted, just the way I liked it, burning my hole, tapping my prostate. Just when I thought this would all be over, he slipped out of me, resting his head on my back one more time.
I didn't know what to think, but it wasn't long until I understood.
Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me to the ground, bringing some of the couch pillows with him. He laid me on the Persian rug, placing the pillows under my back and head. His pants were off; so were his shoes. I never got to see him losing them. Placing himself between my legs on his knees, he leaned in and spoke pure lust and want against my lips, "I wanna be able to look at you. I want to see that you want me as much as I want you."
His cock was inside me again, my legs wrapped around his waist. His fingers curled around my cock.
Kissing me nonstop, I felt Edward start fucking me hard, pressing me against the carpet, the friction from it burning my ass. His tongue was thrusting into my mouth in time to his cock in my channel. I felt my balls hardening; his cock was hitting my sweet spot over and over again, and my moans and groans got louder. His taste was in my mouth; his smell was in my nose. I was in sensory overload when I heard him say, "Come for me, Beautiful … let go …"
I threw my head back, and my back arched as I came all over his hand, my stomach and chest. My cries were an octave higher, and I could hardly coordinate my breathing.
As my ring clenched around his cock, I saw him shutting his eyes and his mouth opening as his ecstasy face made it all even more blissful! I felt his come hitting my walls, warming me up inside, soothing the burn.
"Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhh…." And he became a shivering mess, convulsing inside me, on top of me, around me.
Edward collapsed over me; his weight made me feel safe, comfortable, and home.
His face was buried in the crook of my neck. His hands flew to my hair, and his fingers started playing with my locks. God! That felt heavenly!
"Did I hurt you?" he murmured in my ear while still massaging my scalp.
"No … I don't think you did." I whispered back with a stupid grin on my face.
"Can I call you Jay?" he asked, now looking at me, rubbing his thumb over my right dimple.
"Sure …" I sighed.
"My dad calls you Jay…" he chuckled.
"He does?" I turned to look at his beautiful face; my brows shot up in surprise.
"Uh huh…" he answered, nodding against my shoulder. "He admires you a lot. I was jealous of you when he was your teacher." He confessed in between giggles.
"Why's that?" I was intrigued but looked away from him not to look so curious.
"He never mentioned you were not straight. I thought you were the kid he wanted for a son; straight medical student … a young version of himself. He talked a lot about you."
"When did you stop being jealous?" I turned my face to look at him once more.
"When I saw everything he said was true." I sighed contentedly. We just breathed in and out. Ed's fingers still in my hair, I closed my eyes at the sensation they caused.
"I don't wanna be just a guy you nailed, Dr. Hale." Edward started firmly.
"I never nail anyone, Edward." I giggled.
"I want you to be my boyfriend. Do you think it's too soon?" he looked at me seriously, now.
"I don't know. Who knows, really?" I mused. There was something I needed to ask, but was terrified of the answer. "Do you still have feelings for James?" I closed my eyes shut in anticipation.
"No…" he answered, and suddenly I exhaled in relief. "I stopped loving him as a man the day I found out he betrayed me." He explained. "I came back to help my parents treat him out of the brotherly love I still felt for him. Fuck…"
"What? What's wrong?" I slid out from under him and supported myself on my bent elbow.
"It's gonna be so hard having a boyfriend … I mean … not sleeping with you every night, not waking up to your image sleeping by my side in the morning." He said, drawing circles on my chest with his fingers.
"Aren't you Mister Romantic?" I said amused, smiling at the thought of him kissing me goodnight and waking up to his naked body in my bed in the morning.
"Nope … I'm Mister Horny!" he said, pushing me down to the ground again. "I wanna fuck you every night, and I wanna suck your morning wood every morning." And his lips were playfully all around me; kissing me, licking me, nipping my skin, while his hands were tickling me, and I had to shout,
"My ass! My ass! The carpet is burning my ass again! Please stop!" in between giggles.
Suddenly he was quiet again, and his demeanour changed. He sat up, legs crossed ahead of him, his spent cock lying on his ball sack. He stared at me with a severe look in his eyes.
I noticed his knees were red from the carpet burn too. It took him a while to speak, so I did it first, "Are your knees okay?" I asked him softly. He nodded, looking down to his knees, and that apparently made him relax a bit. When he looked up at me again, I saw resolve in his eyes.
"Can you accept me for who I am?" he asked seriously. "Even after all I told you? Even knowing all about me?"
I took a moment to search inside my head through all his words and explanations, and feelings descriptions, and all I could come up with was the need to be with him. The craving I felt to take him and have him for myself; the good and the bad, the amazing guy he was with all his qualities and flaws.
"I fell for you for who you are." I finally answered.
Edward brushed a lock of hair behind his ear and went on.
"What if … What if one day I ask you … to do stuff to me … Stuff I told you I liked when done to me?" His eyes were burning into mine. He was searching for truth in my answer.
Finally there was no point anymore in denying that all he told me spiced up my want for him.
All of it.
I felt a burn inside me every time I thought of how good I could make him feel. No bullshit, no inhibitions, tending to his every need, making him feel the bliss James did, but with no hidden agenda, just to give him pleasure, to make him feel loved. It wasn't a matter of only showing him how much I loved him, I was actually really turned on by the whole thing. I could hardly wait for him to ask me, so I could be with him that way, taking care of my man that way, knowing he wanted me to touch him so intimately, surrendering himself to me.
"I'll do it," I gushed, not even flinching.
"You sure?" he asked tilting his head, furrowing his brows.
"Edward, if it makes you happy, fulfilled, sated, I'll do it. I just refuse to hurt you, Baby … anything else. You know, I already told you … You have me. I'm yours."
Edward crawled to me again, pushing me down to the floor once more. Lying on top of me kissing my lips slowly and sensually, he began thrusting his hips into mine, our spent cocks rubbing together, our chests slick with my drying come. Once he pulled away a bit, I asked, "What are we telling your mom and dad?"
"I already told them. They were the ones who told me to come and fight for you."
I held Edward tight, squeezing my eyes shut, thanking whatever divinity was responsible for all this.
"I'll take care of you, Jay…" he promised in a whisper, and I pulled him even tighter to me saying, "I'll take care of you too, Ed."
And as soon as the last words fell from my lips, we heard a knock on the door, and Alice saying, "Dr. Hale? Is everything okay? Mrs. Cope is here for her appointment."
Oh, fuck.
A/N – Wow! Congratulations! You made it to the end! So, how was it? Was it worth reading the whole thing? Errrr… don't know if I wanna know that… Just joking.
Thanks for giving it a try even after all the warnings and the hard, disgusting bits of it. This story is really dear to me, since I wrote it to calm my heart after a nightmare that wouldn't leave my mind. I needed Edward to heal, and what other way would be better than by Jasper's hands?
Now please! Leave your message, your thoughts, your feelings about the story! As always, your feedback is really important to me! I have written some more of the boys' lives together some time in a near future. Let me know if you want to read about it and I'll post it!
