Historical Re-acquaintances
When I was twenty, chance brought us together again.
It was spring break of my sophomore year at Stanford. The campus had cleaned out with Chuck going home to his sister and the rest of the students either going home or abroad. Since I didn't want to be alone on campus and I needed some time to think, I decided to take off for the week. Ultimately I was headed "home" to my fake family up in Connecticut, but that didn't mean that I had to go straight there.
As I meandered my way a crossed the country, I decided to see DC before swinging up towards the coast. Driving into the city I passed an NSA employee exit followed by several NASA exits. My imagination was caught up in thinking about the people who were in the cars driving up and over my head. What were they like, what did they do, who were they, did they call home one day and say "Hey mom, I joined the NSA today," or did they disappear off into the world like so many busy people do anymore? Entering the main city, I decided it was better to start paying attention to where I was going instead of getting lost in my own head.
First, I meandered my way to the old neighborhood where I was born. Just because I had decided to put my feelings aside didn't mean that I didn't want to see the area that had changed my childhood so much. There was the precinct, the neighborhood, and the park that my family used to frequent. Nothing stuck with me as being special, so I didn't spend much time on my trip through my family's history.
Then I decided that since I was in the city anyway, I might as well go touristy and see the downtown monuments. Driving to the old downtown area I found a parking garage. With time to kill, I was ready to go up and start walking. Since I wasn't looking to go in a particular order, I simply started walking and figured that I would start with whatever I came upon first.
As I walked, I left my mind loose to wonder again. I had just revisited the places of my youth, but I needed to focus on where I was going to go. Chuck wanted us to start and run a computer technologies company where we would design, build, and sell whatever our imaginations could create. A part of me loved that idea… then a part of me still felt like something was missing. That was when I realized that I still actually wanted to be involved with law enforcement! Unfortunately, I shivered and was repelled by the very idea as soon as it struck. Ohh, what a troublesome predicament. Wanting something so bad that it felt like it was a part of my very soul, while also being completely repelled by that very something to a point of shivering with revulsion.
It quickly seemed that God was watching over me. How else can you explain what came next?
While I was lost in thought, I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on around me. Visually, I wasn't partially watching where I was going, but mostly just enough to stop and ensure safe crossing at street corners. Hearing, well the noise of a machine water blasting gum off of the sidewalks combined with the city to create quite a ruckus in that one perfect spot.
Why perfect? Because, that is the spot where I walked full tilt into someone while not realizing it until their purse was dumped all over the ground. I was completely embarrassed and began to profusely apologize to the unfortunate person caught in my path; that was until I looked up to see the two people helping me collect her belongings.
It was Peter and Elizabeth Burke! Judging by the rings on their fingers they had gotten married since the last time that I had seen them. Still, they weren't much different from my memories. Peter still stood in his khakis and a polo while Elizabeth was dressed more stylishly and showed her better taste in fashion.
At first, Peter and Elizabeth both scrambled with me to ensure Elizabeth's belongings were collected before they could be lost in the surge of those passing by. Then, once I had looked up and stopped talking, they seemed to stop as well. For a few moments we all simply stood on a random downtown corner in DC and stared at each other. It was like the back of their minds recognized me, but the message didn't seem to make it all the way to the front because they never made any comment of connecting who I was now with who I had been then.
After we got passed the awkwardness, we got to talking for a moment as we were asking each other where we were headed. I told them that I was Bryce and that I had decided to be touristy on my way home for spring break. Since I had driven all the way out from California, I was taking a break before taking the final stretch home. Peter was here for a conference and Elizabeth had tagged along to make a mini vacation out of it. They seemed to feel the connection to me, even though they didn't know why, so they invited me to take the tour with them.
We started on our way again, but this time I wasn't lost in my mind. I was lavishing in the opportunity to talk to them again. Since chance had thrown us together, I was going to take advantage and hoped to get that fatherly role model and big sisterly advice that might help me to figure out what to do.
Elizabeth and I carried on a DC version of our St Louis conversations. It was like we had known each other forever and time hadn't passed since the last time we had talked. The biggest difference that I felt was the change from being a naïve kid with plans to being the troubled young adult trying to decide on a direction. She seemed to sense the weight on my mind and she did want any great big sister would do… she encouraged me to be silly. We came up with comical stories behind the things that we didn't know the history behind, we created lives for the people that we passed, and we teased Peter like I was family. I loved it!
Peter took his own direction to help me deal with my trouble. He got me to talk about it like a case and solve it. Following his request, I decided to tell him.
"I always wanted to be a cop growing up." (He tried to hide it but he started at the similarity between me and myself).
Regaining his composure he prompted me with another question. "Why didn't you?"
I tried to be careless and shrug, but the effort gave my emotions away. "Because the reasons didn't pan out."
Elizabeth answered this time. (She sensed that I needed a more sensitive response than Peter could provide). "So you gave up on your dream? All because things 'didn't pan out?'"
Since she wanted more information, I went on to generalize that my mom had told me a story to hide the truth for as long as possible. Now that I knew the truth, I was repulsed by the idea of being a cop, but I felt like maybe law enforcement was somehow engrained into who I was because I still wanted it so badly.
Peter's response was that I should present the whole case and tell him what I was planning on doing.
I was relieved that they were willing to help me so I was willing to share as much as I could. "I chose another direction to decide who I am instead of how to follow a legacy of lies. I've been hoping that another opportunity to fulfill my dreams and avoid the bad taste of the past would come up… perhaps in time. Meanwhile…" I continued to explain that I had decided to go to college. There I had met a friend who taught me how to handle my emotions and encouraged me to follow the advice of someone I had once randomly met (Peter seemed to note the advice from the random person part). My studies came up so I told him that I was working on being an engineer in computers. He was interested in my plans to go into business with my roommate and impressed with my degrees that I was working on (MBA in Accounting and a Master in Engineering).
When I finished, Peter told me his own story. He had been a math geek through school and got a scholarship due to his academics. After college, he had been recruited by large accounting firms with the promise of big salaries, and all of the perks that come with such high profile positions. Peter also followed his dream by playing pro baseball until an injury changed his plans. Ultimately, he didn't chose the high profile accountant or his dream of baseball, but he instead chose to do the job that got the least credit while doing the most work for the people, he became an FBI agent. I had known about him being in the FBI, but it was interesting to get to know the story behind how he came to be in the FBI and what choices he had to face in getting there.
Once he had finished his story, we spent some time brainstorming and trying to come up with ideas as to what I could do in the law enforcement field while not feeling like I was too close to the situation with my father.
Eventually, Peter decided to randomly throw in "What about intelligence? I mean, you're good with computers and they work with computers. You want to be in law enforcement without the law enforcement, and their work can help to make our jobs easier. Besides, I think you're intelligent enough to be an intelligence officer." He finished with a smirk and an amused look in my direction.
Elizabeth piped in with, "Like the CIA?"
I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of being a secret agent traveling the world collecting data that would help other agents (like Peter) arrest the bad guys.
Settling down again, I thought about it a bit more seriously. "Hmm, I hadn't thought of that. After all, they keep information safe, help gather information to take down the bad guys… I don't know. I'll keep it in mind as a possibility."
We continued to treat the idea as humorous and made various 007 comparisons… but the more we talked about it, the more the idea seemed possible.
My college career was similar to being an undercover agent. I wasn't Bryce Larkin from Connecticut but really Neal Bennett from DC, and when I went to parties I could pretend to be goofing around when I was really experimenting with being different types of people. Living on campus I had few belongings and almost nothing to tie back to my life with my real family. When we had big tests I pulled all nighters studying information, put that information into the test, and then staked out the professor's office looking to see what my results were. That seemed similar to studying a target, setting a trap, and staking out a location in the hopes of catching a criminal. For fun, my roommate and I often played "Assassin" or "Gotcha," (the same game but two different names), which was a shootout game played with toy guns. Finally, Chuck functions as my partner. We work together, study together, help each other through problems, and sometime we just hangout because we are such good friends… exactly like Ellen always told me partners acted. Maybe being a cop was in me after all, only I wanted to be different from my father… perhaps the CIA could be a possible route for that.
Peter and Elizabeth could tell that they had given me food for thought and that the decision was now up to me to make. Instead of continuing to discuss it, it was time for us to move on to other subjects. We went back to discussing what we saw, but this time we were being more personal since Peter and I had shared some intimately personal information.
Eventually, the day began to draw to a close and we decided to go to dinner before going our separate ways. Since there wasn't anything in the area that looked appealing, we decided to go back to our cars and meet at an Italian restaurant that was only a little ways away.
As I walked, I couldn't help but smile to myself. It seemed that God was watching out for me and he had arranged for fate to put me into their path again. This morning I felt like I was taking the wrong path in life and something was missing. Now I felt like things were working out for the better and that when I was ready, the perfect opportunity would present itself. Who knows, maybe I would end up working for the CIA someday… Reaching my car, I pulled out of the parking garage and made my way over to the restaurant.
When I arrived, the place didn't look too busy so I hoped that I would be able to find the Burkes easy enough. It turned out that their vehicle had been closer so they were already seated in a corner booth. Elizabeth waived me down and I moved to sit a crossed from them.
Noticing the table, that had obviously been chosen by Peter, I was reminded of another reason why I already knew how to be an agent. The table had a good view of the entire restaurant so that nothing was hidden in the front area and we even had an ear to what was going on in the back. I could see every exit and had a clear escape route already mapped out to each of them as well. Ellen had taught me this skill just in case anyone from my families past ever came after me, but it was also a skill that was taught to agents. I looked at Peter and we had a silent conversation where I told him that I had noticed his choice of table and he told me that he was proud that I had noticed. Amused, we just smiled at each other and ordered our food.
Throughout the meal we shared the pictures that we had taken, talked about the food, and simply continued to talk like old friends with virtually any subject that came to mind being covered. Regretfully though, the evening reached a point of coming to an end.
As we were waiting for the bill, Peter decided to pose one last question. "When you said earlier that you were following a random person's advice, if you don't mind answering, what was that advice?"
On the surface I got a rather fond expression, but underneath I was laughing. Peter was fishing to connect the dots that had remained in the back of his mind all afternoon. Due to the Wit-sec entanglement I couldn't let him figure out that I was the same person, but I still wanted him to be trying to connect those dots. (An almost recognition was better than no recognition when full recognition couldn't be had). "Oh, I was once fortunate enough to run into a person like you (none specific as to which one of the Burkes I was referring too) who told me some advice that helped me through one of the toughest situations I have ever had to face. Basically, they told me to never forget who I am and that it would take me far in life. Also, I should always do what's right regardless of the consequences. My roommate Chuck has also been a big help on that. His family has had its issues and he is determined to be the man he was meant to be regardless of his father. He is the only friend that I have ever had that I can completely trust to do the right thing despite what others may think. With two role models like that, I think I have a pretty good base of people to follow."
Both Peter and Elizabeth had a flash of recognition when I alluded to their advice, but fortunately the bill came just in time. With the action of getting our things and leaving the restaurant they both seemed to forget what they had just about realized a few moments before.
Finally, we said our goodbyes again and each went our separate ways quietly hoping that God would work fate in coordination with chance to bring us together again.
Bryce drove on up to Connecticut to spend some time with his fake family and make one of his rare communications back to his real family. When it was time to head back to college he enjoyed sharing the recap of DC with his best friend Chuck. As Chuck listened, Bryce wondered if he would ever be able to bring the Burkes and Chuck together in his life at the same time. If that could happen, he couldn't ask for anything more when it came down to his friends.
Peter and Elizabeth fondly remembered another charming young man and joked that maybe he was Danny's look-a-like in the world. They had both noticed the similarity in the dark hair, blue eyes, and some various similarities in character and personality. However, they hadn't connected the dots enough to realize that the two young men were the same person. Still, Peter had once again extended the invitation to look him up in the FBI and maybe they could work together while Elizabeth enjoyed the feeling of having a younger brother again.
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