Sam fifteen

Time had passed, and everyday that passed he loved his brother even more. Sometimes he wanted to run and yell at some on. He was starting to get angry more easily, and he hated because he was supposed to be a good son. And right now he was all the things but that.

His father and brother didn't seem to know anything about his feeling. So he felt a little relived for that. But He still didn't know what do too. He felt like he needed to talk to someone, but he wasn't ready to tell Dean this, he didn't know how would Dean reacts, and he wasn't Ready to find out. Not yet. Damn it, he was thinking to much, and the thought that he knew that, scared him a little.

-000-

One day his father and Dean left him on Bobby's house to go to a hunt that was to big for Sam.

It was the second day he was there. They were in the yard and he was helping Bobby fixing a car, well, it was more learning then helping.

"Are you ok boy?"

The question got him out of guard. Bobby had his face under the hood of the car and he hasn't even looked at him. But why did he ask? Did he not look ok?

"Yeah. Why?"

Bobby took two steps away from the car holding with one of his dirty hands a wrench.

"Towel"

Sam picks up the towel that was in his right and handed to Bobby, who at the same time give him his wreach for him to put it away.

"You are a terrible liar"

Bobby said wail cleaning his hand on the towel.

Sam just didn't know what to say

"Do you need to talk about anything?"

Could he do this? Could he just tell Bobby? He wished so much to have someone he could talk to. And here was a person offering to listen.

But then again...

"No thanks. I'm fine"

Bobby sight. He threw the towel to the tope of the car. He got himself in front of Sam and rested his hand on his shoulder.

"I can see that something is making you worried in that little head of yours. You know, whatever it is, I won't be mad, I will just listen, Ok? You and Dean are like sons to me. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you boys."

That was true. Bobby cared about them. And if he told him maybe he would understand, Hell if Bobby didn't no one would. He could trust the Old hunter with his secret. It was now or never, right? ... But what if Bobby started to ha... Bobby interrupted his thoughts when he started to talk.

"And even if I didn't realize that something was wrong I still would know. Because Dean came to me to ask if I could help him finding out what was wrong with you. Never saw the boy so worried."

What? Did Dean suspect anything? If he said anything at all would Bobby go and say it to Dean... He high doubt it.

"So, son. Do you want to talk?"

He could see the worry and the love in Bobby's eyes. And right there he knew he really was like a son to the old man He didn't know what to do... Maybe he really could talk to Bobby. Maybe the hunter would help him... Well, He could hoped. What could he Loss?

"It's... it's just... I"

"You're mumbling Sammy"

"It's Sam. And I'm not mumbling... I just don't know how to say it."

"Just take a Deep breath and say it"

Well, it was impossible to be more tensed. So, he did what he was told, he took a long breath and said it.

"I'm in Love with Dean"

He just closed his eyes, he didn't know what he would see in the old hunter face, and that scared him a little. But at the same time he fell The weight he had on his shoulders disappeared. Finally he had said it out loud. There was a really long silence. Soundly he felt Bobby hand Leaving his shoulder. And if he thought it was impossible to tense more then before, he did. And the relived he just had, was now long Forgotten has he opened his eyes.

"Love? Are we talking about love? Just love or... Love?"

"Not brotherly love... More like... Romantic Love."

Damn it, why didn't he just shut up. Why didn't he lie. Then again not even at that he was good at.

"How long?"

Sam was trying to find that worry and love that Boobby had just shown him minutes ago. And he felt stupid when he just found confusion and disgust. What was he hoping for?

"How long?" He could hear the angry rising in his voice

"One year and some months by now" ~

"So, by now you are damn sure?"

"Yeah" What could he even say.

Bobby grabbed him by the shoulder with his two hands. And started to shake him up

"You hear me, and you hear me well boy. That... That feeling that you have are disgusting, it's ill and wrong it makes me nauseous just to think about it. It's sick, do you hear me? What do you think Dean would say? He would never look at you again. He would freak out. He would be so disgusted by it and disappointed."

Sam could feel his tears in the back of his eyes. Booby was grabbing him more the necessary, it hurt and he was sure that it was going to leave bruises. But he wasn't going to cry, he refused to do it.

"What can I do?"

Bobby was pale has Sam never saw him, if a person saw him they would say that he looked like he had seen a ghost. The problem was, not even ghosts made him so pale.

"You know what? You are going to take all that crap and you are going to bury it. You are going to forget about it. Because that's how we Keep on going, that's how you will keep on going. Do you fucking understand? You are going to stop this bullshit. You will not Love Him in that way."

Sam never had hear the angry and fury of Bobby voice directed at him. And that made it hard to think. He knew it was wrong, but sometimes is Hart was more loud and told him that it was right. Was he strong enough to forget all of his feelings?

"I can't Bobby. I Love him"

And Bobby answer was loud and clear, because suddenly he was on the ground, he would never thought that Bobby could punch him. He could feel Something dripping out of his mouth and he didn't even had to look at it do know it was blood. His damn face hurt like hell, he could feel the cut inside is mouth, and he had a feeling that he broke some tooth, because it hurt more than it should.

"Damn it Boy... Don't you see it... You can go to HELL BECUSE OF THIS. It's messed up, and is freaking sick.."

He tried to push himself off the ground. His face was watery. He was fucking crying. But he didn't care any more. With the strange he didn't have and with the rest of the air he had in is lungs he shouted with his broken voice.

"HELL? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGHT! If you case didn't notice we are all going to hell... I'm trying to catch the only think that makes me happy. And I'm a FREK AND A MONSTER because of it? THE HELL WITH THAT... Beat me all you want, beat me until I can't think anymore, until I have no more Feelings. You would FUKING TO ME A FAVOR."

It took more then a hand full of demons to make a Bobby loss his control. But here it was a kid doing it. Sam was still on the ground when he Felt a kick in is stomach that made him fly. He felt his back hitting the car, and he could hear a crack. He was sure that it came from him, just great, he had broken something. When more kicks come, the only reaction he had was protecting his head with his arms. He didn't have the strength to fight. But why would he? He was the one who ask for it. He was the one who told Bobby to do it, he was the one who was a freak.

"Selfish...Freak...Sick...disgusting...Selfish...Selfish."

Selfish? Why?

Suddenly it stopped, His all body hurt more than it ever had, and he was barely conscious, but he could not feel any more kicks.

Bobby finally had calmed down, and now he could think again. He looked at Sam like it was the first time. He was disgusted, but now it wasn't Because of Sam. How could he have beat up the kid? He was shocked with himself. And when he looked at the mess he made, he finally saw it. He saw Sam pain, the pain he held inside of him from caring a secret to big, the need to talk to someone. He was going to be sick... But instead he just started to cry.

"I'm so sorry Sam. I... I'm Sorry kido. I don't get it... How do you make it through the day without killing yourself?"

Sam Hasn't heard the apology, nor did he hear Bobby's cry, the last thinks he heard was 'through the day without killing yourself? ' and he Didn't even had time to understand what that mean before falling into the darkness.

Bobby kneeled in front of Sam and took him in his arms gently to put him in the trunk. He needed to get the kid to the hospital now. He Didn't know what he was going to say to them, or what he would say to Dean and John. But there was no time to lose, and he could think about something in his way.

-000-

"Sammy, Sammy. Wake up Sammy, you can do it"

He knew that voice too well. That was the voice of the man he cared more the he cared about himself. He tried to open his eyes, but they were too heavy.

"Come on Sammy, open your eyes for me... I'm here... Not going anywhere... ever again"

He tried again, but when he opens them a little the light was too strong, so in a reflex he turned his head the other way, only to find out that his necked hurt like hell. He felt someone squeezing his hand.

"I know, it must hurt... Try again Sammy, please just try one more time. You can do it"

So he did. It took some time for him to focus and really see his brother.

"Dean?"

"Yup, who were you expecting?"

Dean was laughing a little, and he had a smile on his face that showed relived.

Sam looked at his brother, really looked. Dean stopped laughing and stared back at him. Sam tried to smile, his brother hand was still on His. So, this time was him who squeeze it. It was away from him to say Don't worry, I'm a big boy now, I'm alright And the message must have gone through, because Dean gave him a little smile. But the smile disappeared and he was looking at their hands wail he said.

"Damn it Sammy... Don't ever do this again. I thought I was going to die from worry."

Sam saw the dark circles on Dean's eyes. How his hair was all messed up and how tired he looked.

"You look like crap" His mouth was too dry, and his voice didn't seem to be his. But right know I didn't give a damn.

Dean laughed, really laughed.

"I can't believe you. A person his here worried sick about you, and you don't know a better think to say?"

"I'm worried to" Dean stoped laughing and just smiled.

"Well, don't be... I just look like crap, because apparently if you are healthy, and if you stay in a hospital three days in a row, you Become ill too. How stupid is that?"

"What?" Three days? Oh God... How could he had forgotten his fight with Bobby. Did he say anything to Dean? No, if he had Dean wouldn't Have been here, worried... But why did he bring him to the hospital in the first place?

"Sam are you ok?" Sam looked at Dean, and he could see the confused look he had on his face.

"What happened?" Sam asked. It wasn't like he didn't know, it was a question to know what Dean knew.

"You don't remember? ... Well...Apparently, you went downtown alone to buy something. When Bobby thought you were taking too long he went to See if you were alright... He didn't see you at the store, so he looked for you... He found you in an dark alley being beaten up by a bunch of older Kids. He made them leave and he brought you to the hospital. When you were here he gave us a call... I was kind of hoping to hear yours Version of the story... Is it true?"

Now his brother thought he was week. Well, he was better then thinking he was a freak.

"Damn it, it is embarrassing..." before he could cuntinue, he started coughing.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. The nurse said that when you wake up, you would need to drink something. Or it would be hard for you to talk."

He pushed himself from the chair, taking his hand off his brother, leaving Sam's hand still warm. Holding the jar that was on the table next to Sam bed, he filled the Glass that was empty.

"Here. Can you sit up?"

Sam just looked at him.

"Ok, ok, let me see how this works" Dean was searching for something around Sam bed.

"Found it" He held a remote in his hand, and click some button. Sam's bed started to move, until Dean clicked another button and it stoped

"Know you are sitting. Well, almost . And you haven't even moved. How cool his that?"

Sam tried to reach for the glass that was still in Dean's left hand. His brother understood and gave it to him.

"I would give you a straw, but I don't know where they are. And I won't go out there just to ask, because I don't want you to become spoiled"

Of curse, he just didn't want to leave Sam alone. He didn't have to say it, because they both knew it.

Sam drank all he could, he felt the pain in his arm by just moving it, but then again All his body hurt. This was nothing. He would survive.

After Sam drinking what he could, Dean put the glass again in the table, and seated again on the chair that he came to hate so much. The chair just wasn't made to be sited on.

"I told Bobby I wanted a book that they were selling at the store... I went there and buy the book and some more items Booby had asked... When I was going back to the house...There was this kid... I think he had your age... Anyway it was only one... Bobby must have said a Bunch for me to still have my pride..."

He was sure that if he told Dean something different from Bobby story he would concerted on that and not in the lying itself.

"Well, he asked for my wallet. And I just told him that he was a delinquent, that didn't understood himself, and because of that he need to pretend to look tough, and what better way then stealing younger people wallets. So, basically I told him he was a fraud and if it wasn't. Then the reason for him to do that, was because he was a really poor and low person."

And this was the first time Sam had tried to lie to his brother. And he felt like shit.

Dean had his mouth a little bit open. Until he came back to himself. He looked at Sam like he was searching for something, when he didn't Find anything, he said.

"Oh god Sam. You don't say that to a person who he's trying to steal you. Come on you know this, when you see someone or something that you Know you can't beat, you make up a plane. Or you run for it. In this case I would have chosen the last one... Do you know what could have happened if Bobby didn't show up? The guy could have... He could have killed you Sammy... And how was I supposed to live with that"

"Don't make that big of a deal"

"It's a Big Deal... Damn it, we will talk about this when we leave the hospital... I fucking want to kill the guy right now. What did he looked like?"

"I didn't see him that well... And by the way where his Dad and Bobby?"

Dean was angry, he wanted to punch something, or in this case someone. But he couldn't find a kid only knowing his age. Well, he could try...

"Dad and Bobby, I totally forgot about them. Since they can't come in because it isn't visitor hour, they must be outside waiting for news."

"How come you are in here then?" Only Dean could come in?

Well this was the closest has heaven he did get.

"Well, you know me. No one survives to my charms. And since there are many nurses here, it was a piece of cake." Dean was smiling like he was a proud of himself.

"Well, tomorrow I need to thanks Bobby for saving me, and apologies to Dad for making him worried"

"What about me?" Dean asked pretending to be sad

"What about you?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows

"Well I need some love to, don't you think?"

Sam just didn't know if he should laugh or cry about that

"Thank you Dean. For everything. For caring, taking care of me, for worrying and for being the best brother in all worlds" And that was the truth

"Your welcome" Dean grinned, and Sam just laughs, and then Dean started to laugh with him.

-000-

The next day, Dad, Bobby and Dean were in his hospital room.

He told the story how he had been beaten up again. He thanked Bobby for helping him, the old hunter just gave him a sad smile. He apologizes to Dad for making him worry, and he just heard a lecture for him not being careful enough. The same one that Dean wanted to give him, but Didn't, because had thought that it wasn't the best place or time. And he didn't say anything to Dean. Neither did Dean say anything. His Brother only gived him a smile of understanding the all time. And Sam really appreciated.

A person learns from their mistakes, right? So, here was him having another life lesson. He was never going to hope for anything in his Live. He would never wish for anything again. And he could lie has well has birds could fly. It seemed that if he really tried, everyone Believe him no matter what. He felt so fake, that he really wanted someone to look at him and say 'You are lying Sam' and he could answer 'Yes I'm' and maybe all these would be finished. Because really, at this point he really didn't give a damn.