Chapter 3
Kensi steps out of the shower and wraps her warm fluffy towel around her wet body. The warm water hadn't been enough to erase all the pain and all the memories from the night before but she had at least managed to erase his smell from her body.
She ties her hair into a ponytail, deciding to let it dry naturally and walks to her bedroom. The young agent looks out of the window once again and notices that it is a perfect morning to go for a jog. Yes, a good jog would definitely improve her mood.
She puts on her jogging clothes and walks to the kitchen, ready for a good breakfast. After opening the fridge door she makes a mental note to go shopping later on because the only thing that there is inside the fridge is water. She's not one to go grocery shopping often and she usually has her breakfast on the way to work, sometimes at work too.
She shrugs it off, throwing the thoughts of having a good breakfast out of the window and grabs an apple. It's not the perfect breakfast but she settles for that.
Grabbing her iPod and her keys, Kensi exits the house and is immediately greeted by the bright sun outside. That brings a small smile to her face because she has always loved warm sunny days. Then, she turns to the side and sees her next door neighbors. They're both around 40 years old and way too phony for her liking but she doesn't mind because she avoids them at all costs.
Kensi offers them a small smile and a wave. She notices that the smile they send her way is as phony as they are but she doesn't mind. She knows that they are probably talking about her, her life being their favorite discussion topic. She's already used to that and has to admit that it amuses her. Sometimes, she makes Callen drive her home at night and they pretend to be drunk just to give them a little show.
One way or another, she is way past caring about that. As far as they are concerned, her name is Anna and she works as secretary in a law firm. She smiles to herself and starts her jog, ready to focus on anything but the thoughts about Deeks that keep running through her brain.
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Kensi is sure that she ran for more than one hour but she feels a little bit calmer than before. When she finally stops in front of her house, she notices that her neighbors are now staring at her house, without even trying to disguise it. She wonders just what exactly they find so interesting about her. Maybe it is because of her schedules or maybe it is because of the little play that Callen always performs whenever he goes there, to spice up their curiosity.
She shrugs and walks to her house, ready for another shower to wash away the sweat. She opens the door and drops the keys on the small table by the door. After turning off her iPod she puts it there too and starts making her way to her bathroom when a voice stops her.
"Kensi?" She almost faints when she hears his voice. Kensi walks to her kitchen and sees exactly why her neighbors were staring at her house. Deeks was standing by the kitchen sink, in front of the kitchen window, shirtless. He turns to her as soon as he notices that she's there and she sees his shirt on his hands. He gives her one of his goofy smiles before talking.
"Do you have one of those things that take away the stains? I can't find it anywhere and I have coffee on my shirt…" She can barely speak because of the shock but as soon as she manages to start thinking again she can't help but unleash her anger.
"How the hell did you get in?" He seems to be shocked to hear her yell at him like that but answers anyway, noticing that she is a lot angrier than what he was prepared for.
"You gave me a key a few weeks ago, remember?" That does nothing to calm her down and she continues, wanting nothing else but kick him out of her house and out of her head.
"What are you doing here?" He frowns now, realizing that something is definitely not right with her. He tries to step closer to her but she steps away from him and he can almost see the smoke coming out of her ears. This time, he has no idea of what he has done to make her this angry so he tries to have a rational talk with her.
"What do you mean? You remember what happened last night, right?" He sees how she flinches when he mentions that, he sees that her anger is suddenly replaced by shame and he understands exactly what's going on now, or at least he thinks that he does.
"Yes, I remember so you don't need to make jokes about it yet. Can you just leave, Deeks? I'd rather be alone right now…" She turns her back to him as soon as those words leave her mouth and starts walking to her bathroom, not wanting to show him just how hurt she really is because of this situation. She wants to be strong, she really does but she has the feeling that she can't pull that off this time.
Kensi feels two strong arms wrapping around her waist, making her stop. She can feel him right behind her, can feel his muscular chest against her back.
"Can you turn around, please?" His voice his soft and she is sure that she has never heard him talking using such a tone but that only makes it worst. She shakes her head, trying hard to keep her tears at bay. She refuses to let him see her like that, weak.
She hears him sighing and feels his arms tightening their hold on her waist, refusing to let her go. A tear starts making its way down her face but she doesn't make a sound, afraid that that would show him that she's breaking down. She can't be weak in front of her partner, she has already humiliated herself enough the night before.
Kensi feels the kiss that he drops on her shoulder and that makes her want to turn around, wrap her arms around him and never let go again because his arms feel so safe that she never wants him to leave again. That thought scares her. She's not used to feel like that, has worked too hard to keep her distance from everything that had the potential to hurt her. This time, she isn't in control and that scares her.
"Kensi, I'm not Jack!" She wants to turn around and yell at him, wants to tell him that he's just like Jack but she can't. She can't because she's not strong enough for that at the moment. Taking her silence as a sign that she is still doubting him, Deeks continues.
"I'm not him, Kenz! Please, look at me…You're making me feel bad right now and I can assure you that this is not how I had planned my morning to go." She manages to get her emotions under control and puts on her best poker face before turning back to him. She avoids looking into his eyes because she knows that they make her weak.
"What did you forget, then?" Deeks frowns, confused with her question but she is quick to explain it to him.
"You came back…What did you forget?" Deeks sighs again and puts his shirt on, figuring that this talk is way too serious for him to be shirtless. She looks at him and sees that he looks almost sad but she is sure that her eyes are only showing her what she wants to see so she shrugs it off.
"I forgot my phone and I had to come back to get it back. To be quite honest with you, I was hoping that you would take longer or that you'd still be in bed. Don't worry, though…I'm on my way out!" With that much said, Deeks turns around and leaves her house without looking back.
Kensi shakes her head, trying once again to keep her tears to herself and starts making her way to the bathroom once again. He's just like Jack.
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Thank you so much for all your reviews.
Don't worry, Deeks is not mean and I promise that things will get a lot clearer soon.
I have a very important question to all of you who are reading my story: I had a few ideas for it…would you like me to continue with it for a few more chapters or just one more chapter? Please let me know what you think about this.
Sarah
