Hi guys, have been having a little computer trouble so sorry bout the delay
Thanks for the encouraging reviews Sidalee and ALICE IT'S RAINin
Don't ya just love Seifer
Italics are thoughts, incase I haven't already said that.
Anyways, on with the show
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Set list chapter 3
'WOULD SEIFER ALMASY PLEASE REPORT TO THE HEADMASTERS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY, I REPEAT, WOULD SEIFER ALMASY PLEASE REPORT TO THE HEADMASTERS OFFICE, THANK YOU'
Damn, there goes the playing time…
Seifer was glad he had brought the soft case for the guitar; it had a shoulder strap and so required very little effort to carry. Just as well, since he was going to be trekking all the way to Cid's office.
Bet its' Xu, wanting to get me started early to keep me too busy to think…
Xu didn't really hate him; it was similar to the relationship between him and Quistis, but more spiteful. Her attitude had changed during the war towards him, feeling it was a personal betrayal not to garden, but to her. One thing to say for Xu, she may be a glorified secretary with a stick up her ass, but she was loyal. Even to Seifer. She would often jump to his defence, as would Quistis, in group discussion.
Seifer wasn't entirely sure what was going to happen to him. Not punishment even thought he thought he deserved it; he was cleared at the hearing.
He still wanted to fulfil his dream, well Adream, to become a seed. Only recently, however, he had lost his enthusiasm and his bloodlust. Battle didn't satisfy any more. Not that he wanted to leave; he just knew he would need to work through his current contemplative, guilty, melancholic state. Find his warrior self again.
He swiftly, yet delicately, put his guitar in its black case and slung it over his left shoulder.
He sauntered along, not really caring how long it would take him to get to the office.
They can wait…
He let his mind wander as he did. He didn't really want to think about the meeting he was about to participate in; he would just let it happen and get on with it.
He had this annoying habit of reflecting on life when his mind wandered. It was almost second nature to him by now. He certainly had managed to, in his nineteen odd years, squeeze in a lot of life to reflect on.
…reflect and beat himself up over…
He hated his melancholic state; he didn't want to feel sorry for himself, he didn't deserve the sympathy.
He did, however, have a lot to mull over.
He was grateful for the lift being empty. No one to exchange polite niceties with. Stepping out of the lift the foyer was, even for the third floor, empty.
Maybe Cid is telling tall tales again
Cid did have a gift for distracting his workforce from…well, work. He liked to tell stories. They were always good, right enough. Just that the majority of people doubted the truth of most of them.
With no one to prevent him, he walked straight into the lower section of Cid's office. He could hear a low buzz, from the far away conversing. He took a few steps forwards and then stopped. The buzzing continued. Apparently, the four bodies up ahead hadn't noticed him walk in. With confident strides Seifer walked over to the group.
"I believe I was summoned?"
His semi-humorous words finally turned heads. Cid, Xu (that's a surprise…), Edea and (strangely) Quistis were all standing, waiting to greet him.
"Ah Seifer...yes. Yes XU decided to 'summon' you a little earlier than I had planned to."
…A little…two bloody hours…
"Yeah…early…"
He must have unintentionally rolled his eyes when he spoke, as when he looked back at the group they were all wearing amused expressions. Well, all except Xu…but it was Quistis' expression that surprised him. She smirked back at him in an 'I'm-really-really-trying-not-to-laugh' way. That picked up his spirits.
"Yes, as I said, sorry to have brought you in so early. We are all aware that you haven't fully recovered from your…"
He paused to consider his phrasing
"…your…ordeal. I know you are strong, but realistically, and i'm sure you'll agree with me, your complete recovery may take quite a while."
He never took his eyes off of Seifer. Seifer cast his eyes to the floor, as if he was pondering the thought. When his eyes returned to Cid's level he slowly nodded his head in agreement.
"…yeah…yeah, I guess…"
This brought a sad smile to the older mans face. Even in the orphanage, Seifer always had a mature streak that would shine through. For all the trouble he caused and the messes he made, he would always be the first one to step in and fix things when they went wrong…or if someone else did it he would take the blame…even when there was no way he could possibly have done whatever it was.
Infact, that wasn't quite true…, him AND Quistis would take the blame. Many a time he had to separate them, because they were fighting over who would take the blame. Seifer never allowed the blame to be shifted to her, no matter how she tried or how much she protested.
They were both as stubborn and pig headed as each other, but were the perfect compliment for each other; Seifer with his drive, passion and intensity. Quistis with her cold logic, rational and ability to step back and look at the big picture. Yin and yang, sun and moon, fire and ice…
The sooner they realised it, a better place the world would be, but until then…
"I'm glad you realise this Seifer. We can and will, try and help you however and whenever we can…OR more importantly, when you need us. Myself, Edea, Quistis and Xu…yes, I did say Xu…will always be available when you need us. I know that you are noble, strong, intelligent young man, so you must have realised as much as your isolation has helped you so far, you need to get out and about. Interact with people, do normal things, get some form of routine going. This will help you assimilate back into day-to-day life."
Seifer kept nodding and smiling politely. He had already come to this conclusion a few days before. It being reinforced by his main father figure was in a strange way, comforting to him. The fact that such a wise man had come to the same conclusion had made him feel a little more normal. For the moment atleast…
"Good, now that that is sorted…when you are ready, as long as it may take, there will always be a place made available for you to sit your seed exam. Now…"
He raised a hand to silence any protesting that Seifer would produce. He was silenced before he had the chance to speak.
"I am aware that you probably don't want to do it at the moment,but you did all the training so at some point in the future, when you feel ready, you are more than welcome to. For all your larking about in class, hyne knows you put all the effort in. the reason you will qualify any time, incase you were wondering, is that the time you were under Ultimecia's control and your subsequent recovery time is being taken as stolen or sick time, so will not be a barrier to you.
Ok then…that's everything from me, I think. Anything to add before we leave them to it Edea?"
He gazed over at his wife in a thoughtful manor. She smiled at him; he always looked like a little lost puppy when he was trying really hard to remember things.
"I think that's all dear. Anytime you need me Seifer, you know where to find me. Lets go dear and leave theses ladies to it"
With that she stretched out her hand to Cid, to lead him away. He took his wife's delicate hand, raised it to shoulder level and walked out with her, as if he was leading her into a ball.
Xu and Quistis turned, their eyes following the couple to the door. The hiss as the door shut told them that they had the room to themselves for as long as needed. Xu was the first to speak.
"Now Seifer, I wont lie to you…when I heard you were returning I wasn't exactly jumping with joy. Then you shut yourself away in your room and didn't bother anyone, which I have to say surprised me. Even seeing you here, you've changed. You're no longer the arrogant, self serving prick you used to be."
A smirk of pride crept onto his face.
"I must say Xu; you're not the emotionless, cold, stick-up-your-ass Secretary you used to be either. That said with all due respect of course."
Then appeared his cheeky monkey smile.
"Of course Seifer…as Cid said, I'm here for you as well. I know we haven't ever exactly been close, but my door is always open and i'm always willing to listen. Good luck on your journey."
She thrust her hand out to shake his. It was a firm handshake, not of colleagues though, more of adventurers setting out on a quest…or of brothers going into battle.
She turned to look at him once more, bowed her head and left. For a second time Quistis' eyes followed the leaver of the room until they were gone. This was no time for the silly banter they usually enjoyed when in each others company.
"So…what do you think? …how do you feel?"
The questions confused him more than slightly.
"What? About the scenario? About the help?"
"About you Seifer. How are you? How do you feel? As obvious as it may seem, I'm genuinely asking about your welfare."
This was the Quistis he knew. Straight to the point, caring and trustworthy. She wasn't just asking how he was; she was asking how his mind was.
"I'm getting better, slowly but surely. I haven't had an undisturbed nights sleep in a long time though."
"Nightmares?"
She wasn't really asking it was more of a statement.
"Some. Flashbacks too. My conscience wont let me rest it seems…"
She didn't doubt it for a second, she knew him too well. He couldn't hide anything from her, though his honesty was refreshing.
"Seifer…I have a suggestion for you. Hear me out before you shoot me down though."
He didn't like the sound of this…
"I think to help you deal with what you've been through, and the resulting feelings you have…I think you should talk to someone…"
"I appreciate the idea, but cant I just talk to you? Or Edea? Or Cid? ...or Xu?"
He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he didn't want to go down without a fight.
"Yes, of course you can talk to us, but we know you. I mean talk to someone who doesn't. A professional."
He folded his arms as he spoke to her, as if he was being aggressive…he wasn't, he just did that when he was thinking.
"I take it if you've gone through all this bother there's someone you have in mind?"
'Well, you're certainly not daft Seifer…'
"There's a nurse who works in Balamb, who I think you should go and see…well, talk to I guess…will I make you an appointment?"
That concerned him.
'If Xu knows…'
Quistis has no problem in reading his concerned expression.
"Seifer, I said I would make you an appointment…no one else need know."
Her warm smile was reassuring.
"Ok then."
She smiled again, and then turned to walk away.
"Quisty…"
She turned back around to face him.
"…thanks…as much of a pain in the arse as I can be, I really do appreciate this…you going out of your way to help me…".
It was the first time in a long while Quistis felt appreciated. It was good to feel needed.
"You are very welcome. You'll be fine, your strong and smart and too damn stubborn not to get better. Now go and relax before Xu decides she needs you again, I'll drop by later with your appointment info and we can talk more then."
Thirty seconds later Seifer was alone in the room. He stood for a moment, thinking over what Quistis had said to him when he realised that he still has his guitar slung over his shoulder, no one had even commented on it.
'Secret area or Quad…hmmm….secret area I think…quad will be too busy now…'
He walked through the empty foyer into the empty lift. It was actually nice to be surrounded by a sea of students when he stepped off the lift and headed to the canteen. It occurred to him that if he was going to go and play, he'd be as well taking something to eat with him. The dinner ladies were always very nice to him, so he shouldn't have been surprised when he asked for a chicken mayo baguette and a bottle of 'fat' coke, as Selphie called it, when he was given a foot long sub with a share size bottle of coke.
"You need your strength".
He thought what a sight he must have looked, marching with a foot long baguette, a big bottle of coke and a guitar. That thought was long forgotten when he sat down and ate it at the secret area.
When he had finished he was feeling quite pleased with himself; His thoughts though drifted to Quistis. She was going so far out of her way to help him she would need directions to find her way back.
As usual when he played guitar, he turned up, strummed a few chords and played what first came to mind.
'Ah Quistis…what would I do without you…'
You and me, always you held my head above the waves…
'You've always been there for me Quistis'
Paddling around pretending that it was not, too cold…
'I'm always brave for you'
It was, but not when you were there…
'You kept me warm…'
Our shadows softly on the grass, day would break we'd have our laughs
Memories of the orphanage came floating into his head….the fun they had together.
Our shirt tails in the wind, seems like yesterday my friend
Quistis did, even when they were small, insist on tidying him up so didn't look quite so scruffy all the time.
'Where has the time gone?'
I know that we were scared, hurt because you were not there,
One of his only bad Quistis related memories….her being adopted and taken away to live with her new family.
I know I want it all; wish the sky would fall on me
'Some things would be easier that way…but no, Quistis is helping me so I need to get better…for her sake if not mine…'
'I'm not through, I'm not through, I'm not through'
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Quite a long chapter there for you guys…I was going to split it, but I thought it would make more sense as one long chapter rather than two smaller.
Chapter 4 is being written as I write this…I'm multitasking
All reviews are welcome…especially constructive criticism, as I don't actually have a beta to read through this.
All advice is welcome
the song was christophers river by biffy clyro
Signing off
Chickabo
xxx
