Phenomenon
Fallout
"Sir," Caraway said, as he entered President Deling's office once again, "The Galbadian Army is mobilized – as you've requested."
Deling smirked at his words as he looked at Caraway.
"Good. Excellent work, Commander."
Caraway was still curious as to why he'd had to do such a thing to begin with. It was a bit uncomforting, and suspicious, that Deling had yet to reveal his intentions for doing so. If he was truly any part of what was going on, he felt he had a right to be let in on it. Why was he being kept in the dark?
However, despite his unease, Caraway refrained from speaking up on the matter. He quickly came to the conclusion that, whatever Deling's intentions were, he must have a reason for not sharing them. A soldier never questioned orders - no matter how strange they may be.
"What would you have the army do now, sir?" he asked, calmly.
Deling was silent for a moment as he glanced down at his desk again.
"…Nothing at the moment," he answered.
Caraway was now even more confused than before by his response. It only served to further fuel his suspicions on the whole situation. If they had no current use for their forces…why regroup them? Things weren't fitting together at all. Had the president suddenly lost his mind? Did he see his position of power as some sort of game? This thought angered the new commander as he reflected on it for a moment.
The young president looked at the commander again – seeing him still standing there in silence as he seemingly awaited another order.
"…That is all," he said, "Dismissed."
Caraway looked at him in question for a moment. It was so hard to resist asking, but he did his best to refrain, nonetheless. Despite how odd the sudden situation was…he had to hope it would all make sense in time – before too long.
"…Sir." he said, quietly.
He slowly turned around and walked back toward the entrance to the residence – Deling watching him closely as he went out of sight.
"Hmm…" he mumbled, looking down at his desk again.
Rinoa searched around Garden looking for Squall. After the announcement from Quistis, she had yet to see him since – and it was beginning to worry her greatly. Everyone she'd asked so far had given the same answer and now…she was running out of places to look. She knew Garden well enough over the past year to know when she'd searched every possible location. She'd even taken it upon herself to scour the MD Level – but, even down there, her search had come to a dead end. What had gone on in the office of the young headmaster to make Squall pull a disappearing act?
"Where is he?" she thought to herself, nervously, "This isn't like him at all."
She walked up to the elevator and lifted her head – staring up toward the high ceiling as she thought to herself again for a moment.
"…Maybe…"
Though she didn't really think it likely, she still had to know for sure. She quickly boarded the elevator and took it to the top floor – Quistis' office.
Quistis and Nida heard the elevator stop at the office as they looked toward it in question – the sight of Rinoa stepping out immediately surprising the two.
"Rinoa?" Quistis asked, stepping out from behind her desk.
The young sorceress looked at her friend – the expression on her face immediately confusing, yet intriguing Quistis as she looked back at her.
"Is something wrong?" she asked.
Rinoa glanced around for a moment.
"Um, well…" she stuttered, "I was looking for Squall. No one's seen him since he came up here – so I thought…maybe…"
Quistis shook her head lightly in understanding.
"I see," she said, "Unfortunately though…Squall went back to his duties about a half hour ago. I haven't seen him since either."
Rinoa sighed – now a bit tired of hearing that response as she looked at the floor.
"…Right."
Quistis and Nida glanced at each other before turning back to Rinoa.
"Don't worry, Rinoa," Quistis said, "He's around here somewhere."
"Yeah," Nida replied, nodding in agreement, "Squall wouldn't leave Garden without notice first, after all."
Rinoa lowered her head again, nodding in agreement at their words. Still though, even if they were right…it was still strange of Squall to just disappear like that. Garden was only so big after all. Someone would have certainly seen him by now were he still in the vicinity…right? And, even if not…why would he go so far as to even keep his whereabouts from her? Something had to have happened in order for him to keep it such a secret– but, she couldn't imagine what.
She lifted her head again and noticed the weird look on the faces of the two SeeDs before her. It was as if they were hiding something from her – a thought that made her rather uncomfortable. Then, she also had to wonder…did it pertain to Squall? Did they truthfully know where he was? If so, why keep it a secret from her? Had he, for some reason, asked them to? And, if so…why? So many questions quickly swirled in her head as she stood there in silence with a curious expression.
"What's…going on?" she asked, trying not to sound too suspicious.
Quistis and Nida didn't reply for a moment. It was obvious to her something was on their mind – but, whatever it was…they didn't seem willing to share.
"Come on. Tell me," she said, quietly, "Is it about Squall? Did something happen to him?"
Her voice had a tone of fear and worry in it with that last question as she looked at them in a bit of horror. However, her fears were quickly allayed as they shook their heads.
"Squall's fine, I'm sure," Quistis said, "There's no need to worry about him."
Rinoa relaxed as she looked at them calmly again.
"Well…what is it then? Can't you tell me?"
The two SeeDs, again, exchanged looks before turning back to Rinoa with the same expression on their faces.
"I'm sorry, Rinoa," Nida said, a sincere tone of apology in his voice, "We're just a little busy right now."
Quistis quickly nodded in agreement as she walked toward the sorceress.
"Yes," she said, "We have a lot to attend to at the moment, so we really need to get back to work. I'm sorry."
Rinoa glanced from Quistis to Nida and back before sighing once again as she looked at the floor.
"…Okay."
She slowly lifted her head one last time to look at them again.
"But, if you see Squall…could you tell him I'm worried about him? I'd really appreciate it."
Quistis and Nida both nodded in unison as a light smile formed on the blond's face.
"…Of course," the young headmaster said, in a gentle tone, "There's nothing to worry about."
Rinoa smiled lightly at her words as she slowly turned toward the elevator and made her descent back to the main floor. Quistis, however, dropped her head in regret as she reflected on their conversation.
"…I was afraid of that." she mumbled, as she closed her eyes.
She sighed to herself as she stood there in silence for a moment.
"Squall…I'm sorry."
Unaware of Rinoa's concern for his whereabouts, Squall was in the Training Center. The sudden bombardment of the current state of affairs, combined with his growing frustrations of being Commander of SeeD, had begun to greatly affect him. He had to relieve his aggressions – and using monsters as a punching bag was far better than taking it out on another person. Besides…it gave him a much desired opportunity to keep his skills sharpened.
He yelled loudly as he jumped into the air, coming down on a Grat as he slammed his Lionheart down on top of it as hard as he could. The monster quickly sliced in half and Squall immediately proceeded to slash at another one to his right – the battle ending in a matter of mere moments.
He held his gunblade tight with both hands as he glared angrily at the now empty space before him. Though it helped to relieve his frustration, the battles the Training Center provided still proved to be a little too easy, unfortunately. This fact only served to fuel his frustrations a little more, really, but at least it was a plus to know he was still in top form when it came to fighting. Sure, it may have only been a year since he'd actually used his gunblade – but, for someone whom had saved the entire world and traversed time to stop a malevolent sorceress in the distant future…that felt like a long time.
"Son of a-"
"Squall?" a voice hollered across the vicinity.
He quickly turned his head to see Rinoa hurrying toward him.
"Rinoa?" he asked, a bit surprised as he stood up straight.
He watched her as she quickly approached – a bright smile on her face upon having finally found him. She couldn't imagine why she hadn't thought to look here sooner.
"There you are!" she said, happily, as she slowed down a little – quickly hugging him before she could come to a complete stop.
Squall was a bit confused by her actions and words as she slowly let go of him.
"I've been looking for you," she said, "I haven't seen you since you left for Quistis' office. I was afraid something had happened."
He looked away at her words. She had no idea exactly how spot-on she was. Something had happened while he was in the office – and to think about it again only allowed for his aggravation to return. All he had just relieved himself of, he could feel instantly coming back to him just like that. It angered him somewhat that just a few, simple words could completely reverse what he had just worked to free himself of. The irony of the situation was immensely irritating.
Rinoa looked at him closely for a moment – an expression of concern sweeping over her face as she stared at him in question.
"Squall? Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Squall sighed as he turned his head back toward her.
"…It's nothing. I'm sorry I worried you."
Rinoa glanced at the floor as she lightly clutched her pendant.
"…It's okay."
She lifted her head once more to look at him again.
"I'm just glad you're alright," she said, smilingly lightly, "What are you doing in here?"
Squall glanced around the area for a moment. It was a rather weird question given the whole purpose of its existence.
"I was just…brushing up," he said, "I saw an opportunity for once, so I took it. No big deal."
"...I didn't say it was..." Rinoa replied, a hint of suspicion in her voice.
Squall went silent again and Rinoa began to feel a sense of discomfort rise inside of her – like she'd felt in Quistis' office. She didn't know why, but it felt like everyone was keeping something from her. What was going on? Why all the sudden secrecy? What were the matters Quistis and Nida had to attend to? Did they have anything to do with Squall being in this very spot right now? Again, she was overcome with questions she couldn't even begin to figure out. Squall had been just fine the last time she'd seen him – before he'd been summoned to meet with Quistis. Now, all of a sudden…he was behaving completely different: kind of like how he had been when they'd first met. It was a bit disheartening, to say the least. What exactly had gone on while he was up there? It was the one question she couldn't let go of.
"Squall, what's going on?" she asked, "You're acting strange all of a sudden. You've never doubted yourself enough to have to "brush up" before. It doesn't make sense."
Squall folded his arms as he looked away again for a moment.
"I told you, it's nothing," he said, a hint of agitation in his voice, "I just needed a break from everything."
Rinoa sighed at his words. Despite how believable they were, she still couldn't help but feel there was something he wasn't telling her – which was exactly how she'd felt while in Quistis' office. It only brought the question back to light: what exactly had gone on while Squall was up there?
"Squall, it's okay," she said, in a quiet voice, "If there's something bothering you – you can talk to me about it. It's not like I'll hold it against you or anything."
Squall turned his head back toward her once again with a straight face.
"There's nothing to talk about," he said, in a cold tone, "I'm fine, alright."
His words and tone of voice caught her off-guard as she looked at him in surprise. Why was he suddenly getting so defensive? What had she said that was so wrong? Everything that had come from her mouth was out of sheer concern, after all. It wasn't like she was trying to pry. She just wanted him to know she was there for him. When had that suddenly become such a problem?
Squall sighed heavily as he realized his mistake.
"…Sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind right now."
Rinoa was curious about this news as she tipped her head lightly.
"Like what?" she asked, in an innocent tone.
Squall shook his head lightly at her question. He really didn't want to talk about it right now – or anything, for that matter. He thought he'd just made that rather clear a moment ago. Why did she still insist on trying to persuade him to open up? Some things really were better left unsaid.
As he stood there in silence, still unwilling to talk to her, Rinoa was now growing impatient. On top of that, given his brief lash at her, she now knew for certain that something was on his mind – and it was clearly affecting him. Why was he so insistent on keeping it to himself when she was only trying to help? It was the one thing about him that still drove her crazy. Apparently, she hadn't gotten through to him as much in the past year as she'd originally thought.
"Come on. Tell me," she said, in a gentle voice, "I really want to know what's on your mind. I'm worried about you."
Squall still didn't reply – just keeping his thoughts and feelings on the matter to himself as he continued to stand there in silence. It wasn't that he didn't want her help. He just didn't want her to feel the weight of such news like he did. It had ruined his day completely. Why should she have to go through the same ordeal? Despite the fact that his secrecy was clearly hurting her, he couldn't bear to burden her the same way he was. It wouldn't be fair. Besides, she was already fearful enough of the Galbadian forces. Why give her an even bigger reason to fret? Even though he could only imagine what she might think from his silence – it was better he keep it to himself…for her sake.
"Just forget it," he mumbled, "I don't feel like talking right now, okay?"
Rinoa looked at him in a bit of surprise by his attitude.
"Squall, I'm only trying to help, you know." she said, a clear tone of frustration in her voice.
The rising tension between the couple filled them both with exasperation – Squall from the matters surrounding Galbadia, and Rinoa from Squall. However, the young sorceress' pestering, as good intentions as she had, was also becoming a source of aggravation for him. Why couldn't she just leave him alone and let him deal with this one thing on his own time? She didn't need to get involved in every aspect of his life. Was he no longer entitled to his secrets just because they were now an item? This whole situation only fueled his emotion further. He tried to keep quiet so as not to lash out at her again, but it was becoming harder. He wished she'd just stop and leave it alone. He didn't want to take it out on her – and that was exactly what he was afraid he'd end up doing if this continued, as much as he tried to refrain from such. It wasn't that she had no business knowing - he just couldn't really say anything about the matters at hand until he found out more. What was the point in involving others in such a thing without proper evidence? Though he trusted Xu, her words alone still weren't quite enough. He needed to know for himself before he could be completely sure of anything.
"Did I do something?" Rinoa asked, as she lowered her head a little.
Squall sighed as he kept his head turned away from her.
"Rinoa, please. It's got nothing to do with you, alright?"
His words only flustered her more as she looked at him closely. If that was the case, if it didn't have anything to do with her; if she hadn't done anything wrong…then why couldn't he tell her? What made it so hard for him to talk to her?
"…Then what?" she asked, "What's going on? Just tell me. If I didn't do anything, then why can't you just talk to me?"
"I just don't want to," he answered, in a harsh tone, "Will you just let it go?"
"No!" Rinoa quickly replied, "I won't back off until you at least give me some idea. Why can't you tell me what's wrong? What are you so afraid of anyway?"
Squall finally reached his peak. Rinoa's constant questions and pestering had now pushed him to his limit and he'd had all he could take. He didn't need this right now. When would everything stop piling up? Why couldn't things just be simple? Why couldn't he just be left alone? Without thinking, he suddenly lashed out at her.
"I already told you," he answered, a tone of annoyance in his voice, "I can't explain it. It doesn't even concern you anyway! Why are you always prying into stuff that's none of your business?! I wish, for once, that you'd just listen when someone said "no"! Things don't always work that way. You can't get by in life expecting everybody you meet to be as open as you!"
Rinoa gasped at his words as she took a step back. How could he say such a thing? How could he be so hurtful towards her and not realize it? She had only been concerned about him and he had to go and say such cold and callous words to her for that? She was just trying to help. She hadn't been aware it was such a problem to be so caring – especially towards someone she really cared about. As much as his words tore at her – she at least now knew how he really felt.
She nodded her head lightly as she looked at the floor again.
"…I'm sorry. If I'd known it was such a problem to you that I cared so much, I wouldn't have come here."
She looked toward Squall – the SeeD noticing, all too late this time, exactly what he'd said – and he wished right away that he could take it back.
Rinoa sighed as she dropped her head again.
"Let's just forget about it – about everything," she said, "…We can even forget about tomorrow night."
Squall's eyes got wide at that last sentence as he looked at her in shock.
Rinoa closed her eyes for a moment as a tear rolled down her face. She hated to be saying this, but it needed to be. It was clear to her Squall was under a lot of stress – and it wasn't like she couldn't understand why. If he needed time to himself, she was okay with that – no matter what she had to sacrifice in order for him to have it. His well-being was more important to her. They could spend time together at any point they wished - perhaps under better circumstances next time.
She lifted her head toward Squall again, but found herself unable to actually look at him as her eyes stationed on a rock in the distance.
"It was a stupid idea anyway," she said, shaking her head hard from the pain and anger at what was happening, "I don't want to be another burden on you, Squall. I care about you too much."
Her tears suddenly started rolling down her face faster as she began sniffling a little now. Squall was overcome with regret at his words. He didn't know why he'd said them – they had just come out of nowhere. It was one of those moments where he wished he could go back in time take it all back. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He hadn't even meant to say anything at all. It was exactly what he'd been hoping to avoid – and it had happened anyway, just as he'd feared. Now, he'd hurt Rinoa, of all people...and no matter what he would try to say next – nothing could erase what it caused.
"...I'm sorry," she said, wincing tightly as she forced more tears from her eyes, "This was my fault. Don't blame yourself for this one. Please?"
She quickly turned around and ran out of the Training Center as Squall took a step forward with his hand out – watching her with an expression of guilt and apology that dug deep inside him. He couldn't believe what he'd just done. He couldn't believe he'd really just chased off the one person whom he truly cared about – and cared just as much about him. It was a horrible feeling to know he'd just strained the best relationship he may ever have. He had promised Rinoa he would always be there for her and keep her safe no matter what – yet, ironically…he'd been the very first person to hurt her. She hadn't deserved anything he'd said to her. How could he ever take it back now? Was there any possible way to make up for it? He smoldered with anger at himself for having allowed such words to slip from his mouth. If it was possible, he'd kick his own ass for being such a cold, heartless idiot to the person he claimed to love.
"Dammit!" he thought to himself, as he turned his head to the side hard – clenching his teeth behind closed lips as he glared at the ground.
At that moment, he felt something come up behind him and quickly whipped out his Lionheart – immediately thrusting his sword to the side hard just in time to slash a Grenaldo without even moving his head. The overgrown insect-like monster instantly fell onto the ground in two parts behind him while he glared ahead angrily at everything that had just happened.
