Keely pulled her English book out of her locker, then shut it and leaned against the wall, waiting for her sister. After a minute of waiting, her phone rang. "Yeah?" she said, picking it up.
"Oh, hey Keel, I've actually got to stay after today, so you can go ahead and head on home. But I'll be there in like... an hour."
"...okay," Keely sighed. Her sister hung up and she slid her phone back into her bag. She slowly walked to the front doors, clutching her book bag to her chest with both arms. Upon reaching the front door, she saw Liz and a few of her friends talking on the front steps. She stopped in her tracks and leaned her head back, briefly considering just using another exit altogether to avoid confrontation.
I'm making too much of this. It's not like she's out to get me, she's just...
She frowned as she realized that she couldn't think of a way to finish that thought. Nevertheless, Keely sighed and used the door closest to the wall, hoping to avoid being seen.
She walked down the wheelchair ramp, staring at the cracks on the sidewalk as she went by them. Liz and her friends kept talking, seemingly unaware of Keely's presence. She dared a glance up over at them, and gasped when she saw Liz looking back at her suspiciously. She quickly averted her eyes, focusing them back down on the concrete.
The sky was again completely overcast. Rain fell down mercilessly in a downpour, soaking Keely to the skin through her clothes. She kept her head down, looking down on her black boots to avoid getting water in her eyes.
She heard a voice calling out her name from behind her. Keely paused and glanced over her shoulder. Candida was rushing towards her, a black umbrella opened above her head. "You wanna share?" she asked as she ran up beside her.
A little too late for that, Keely thought as she looked at her soaked clothes. She forced a smile onto her face and glanced at Candida. "Thanks! I thought you were hanging out with my sister after school..."
"Oh, no, that was yesterday..."
"Hm. I can never seem to keep track of what that girl's doing. Heck, I have enough trouble running my own life."
"I imagine you must be busy all the time!" Candida gushed. She wasn't shy of hiding her enthusiasm about having a conversation with someone of such high esteem that was also two years ahead of her.
"Well, you know me. Busy busy busy me."
"Oh, that's so great... I wish I had your life!"
"Yeah, sure you do," Keely muttered under her breath as she looked towards the street.
Having not heard Keely's remark, Candida went on. "I'm sorry for rambling on like this, I guess I'm just a little jealous. I'll try to stop."
"Please do," Keely snapped. Candida immediately stopped talking and looked at Keely, her eyes full of worry. "Sorry," Keely blurted out, upon seeing the girl's expression. "I'm just a bit on edge lately. I've got a lot going on, like I said. Sorry. It's just that.... it seems like anything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. Just having one of those days. Or weeks, I guess."
"What do you mean?" Candida frowned in confusion. "I would have thought that there would be plenty of great guys going after you now that, uh... well—" Candida cut herself off awkwardly.
Keely sighed. "Let's just say it's hard to notice what's passing over your head when your eyes are on the ground."
"Do you want to talk about it?" the younger girl eagerly asked, hoping to be helpful in any way.
"Not really. Not much to talk about that you'd be able to help me out with."
"Oh." The disappointment in her voice was obvious. "I'm- I'm sorry."
"Not your fault. Don't be sorry."
"So, you ...don't want sympathy." Candida was a little confused by this.
"Anyone can sympathize with someone when they're feeling depressed or sad. It takes a really good person to sympathize with somebody when they're succeeding at something. That's a lot more selfless, you know?"
"I guess so... but isn't sympathy with pain still a good thing? I mean it kind of helps you remember that you're not alone in all of this..."
"I don't like the feeling of other people being sorry for me. I don't like that they feel bad just because I do, like they shouldn't be happy until I am. I just don't buy into that, I guess."
"So you'd rather suffer alone. That seems kind of... weird."
"No, it's not that... it's possible to be there for somebody without being sad with them. It's unnecessary to try and feel somebody's pain with them."
Candida slowly nodded. "Actually.... I like that. I like that a lot. I think you're totally right."
"Of course you do," Keely muttered again. Candida didn't hear her, again.
"Mm. Well my house is down this way," Candida said, pointing down the street. Keely nodded. "I'll see you around school though!"
"Sure thing," Keely said, offering up a small smile. Candida waved goodbye and walked the other way. Keely stood at the street corner, watching the back of the girl's head as she walked away. Eventually, she turned on her heel and walked down the other way.
Rainwater poured down from the skies, ran along the curb, and poured down storm drains. Keely watched intently as a single leaf floated along in a stream of rainwater, spinning and rotating helplessly in the current, before it too was sucked down into the unseen depths past the storm drain. She frowned sadly and knowingly.
A car engine rumbled from behind. A dark blue sedan pulled up alongside the curb, an automatic window rolling down. A familiar voice called out from inside. "Hey, Teslow!"
Keely looked back down at the sidewalk, watching the water flow through the cracks in the sidewalk beneath her shoes.
"Teslow!" the driver called out again. "Why are you walking out here all by yourself?"
"Shut up, Jackie," Keely muttered as she kept walking, staring straight ahead.
"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Jackie, one of Liz's best friends, leaned over from her seat to get a better look at Keely from her roofed, climate-controlled car. "You know they're all talking about you, right?"
"I don't care," Keely boldly retorted, trying to hide the fact that she was lying through her teeth.
"Suuuuure you don't.... Just thought I should let you know! Guess they knew you were going to choke if they let you onstage anyway!"
Jackie laughed as she drove off and rolled up her window. The rear tire of the car sped through the water on the side of the street and kicked it back, splashing all over Keely.
She wiped her face with her equally-soaked hand. She couldn't tell if her face was mostly wet from the rain, the splash in the face from Jackie's car, or her own tears. She reckoned it was all three.
After briefly considering hurling a rock at the retreating car, she decided it wasn't worth it. Her jacket, now drenched, wasn't helping much in keeping her warm, so she took it off and folded it over her forearm.
Right. I can't let them get to me. That's a joke.
But I am better than them. Much better. So she's been having a good life lately. And so I haven't. That'll change.
I'll get through this, it'll just take time.
Right?
...
Right.
Keely forced a smile on her face and kept walking home. And while her teeth shown brightly, her eyes, however, stayed low.
