River only showed me one page of her blue book, anything else was considered 'spoilers'. The page she opened to had small writing all over it, with a picture towards the end of the page. "See that photograph of me and that man? Thats us, Doctor. getting married."

I looked at her, shocked. "So is that the 12th doctor?" I was one good looking man!

"No," She replied "Thats the 15th Doctor." How can this be? Timelords only have 13 lives! "Somewhere between now and the end of you 13th regeneration, you were granted a favour that gave you the oppurtunity to have more lives than is normal for a Timelord."

It was too much to take in. My whole life I have had it drummed deeper and deeper into my head that Timelords can only die 13 times. There have never been any exeptions. So how is this possible? Why am I so different?

X

"So, Doctor. I have something to show you." She spread what looked like blueprints all over the table in the Tardis. At closer inspection I realised that they were actually blueprints of The Elite Guard. They show how they are made, and the differences between them and a normal Dalek.

"How did you get these? This is great!"I helped to spread them out in an orderly manner on the table. But River didn't answer. Instead she came over and put her arms around me, burying her face in my neck.

"I thought you would like them." Her face emerged from the side of my neck and reached my face, where she started to kiss me, slow and soft. "Come with me" She took me hand and led me to one of the very many bedrooms in the Tardis.

"River, is this a good idea?" She started kissing me fiercely now, with lots of passion.

"Yes Doctor. It's in the book." Her response surprised me. I pushed her off me, not violently, but so she understood I did not want her.

"Look, River. I don't want to live my life by what happens in your little blue book. I don't want to have sex with you, I don't want to marry you, and I don't want more than 13 lives! I just want to die, like Amy!"

"Amy isn't dead, Doctor. She's quite alive and, ah... kicking?"

"She is never going to come back, River. Amy is as good as dead. Her very soul has turned Black," I was very nearly crying "Please leave me alone for a while, River. Stop trying to be someone you're not. Stop trying to replace Amy!"

X

I did not talk to river much over the course of the next few days. She was always either at the table, studying the Elite guard blueprints, or in her room with the door closed. It didn't bother me really; yeah sure, I said some mean things, but I meant them. I don't regret anything I said.

In the end I chose an outfit much unlike any of the 11 Doctors before me. It bore no traces of celery, or a rainbow scarf. The only similarities were my shoes and those of the 10th doctors, Converse All-Stars. Today I wore black skin-tight jeans, a faded Guns 'N' Roses band shirt, and green All-Stars. I looked Hot.

Losing the one you love rips your heart in two. I would do anything in the world to have Amy back; I would choose her over the life of anyone... Even River.