Kaoru wouldn't speak to me after that.

I gave him his space; let him breathe.

I told Haruhi to do the same.

"He's just having some issues with our new life," I explained to her unhappy face. "Just give it some more time."

He was relocated at the Host Club to his own table, and Kyouya had me host with Haruhi. While I did miss some of Kaoru's frequenters, Haruhi's girls were incredibly open and cheerful as well.

It was just…

…Painful.

I missed Kaoru deeply.

"How far have you two gotten?" one of the bold ones asked archly.

"Nothing incredibly intimate yet," Haruhi smiled, squeezing my hand under the table.

"What does Hikaru kiss like?"

"Well, he wasn't very good at it in the beginning, but he's getting better," my diminutive love teased.

"Now wait a second!" I objected playfully. "Are you implying that you were any better?"

"Maybe." Humor glinted in her eyes.

"Fine then. If that's how it is, I'm going to visit Kaoru," I sniffed, giving her a significant look. She nodded, and I rose and walked over to my brother's table. He was entertaining three girls and speaking with—

'—Kyouya? What could they…?'

One of the girls—the one from the hospital—said something, to which Kaoru sighed. Their words became clearer as I approached the group.

"…my brother, to Kyouya-senpai especially, has been a major pain in the—"

I interrupted him, "My, my…Do you really think so poorly of me, Kaoru?"

His eyes lit up as his head jerked around to meet my patronizing smirk. I was warned of his desire to leap to me by the look in his dulled eyes and warded off his attack with a tiny but definite head shake, one that probably no one else could see. His arm looped around his body instead. He gave a condescending frown.

"You put a terrible burden on Kyouya-senpai's shoulders without any prior warning," he lectured with half-hearted severity.

"But brother, you can't stop true love," I teased back.

As if only there for me to prove my point, Haruhi drifted past with a concerned, "Hikaru?"

My grin deepened and I pulled the girl into a loving kiss. I only cared about Kaoru's reaction: a stiffening of the muscles around his eyes as he looked away from me.

Kyouya caught my attention and said, "Hikaru, I'm going to ask you to refrain from those sorts of acts in public. You're making a complete fool of yourself."

He was still jotting down something as Haruhi and I returned to our guests who had been conversing avidly about one of their favorite topics: Haruhi's home life.

I sighed, sitting down and half-addressing the complete nonsense they could come up with before glancing back to Kaoru.

I worried about his lack of…Kaoru-ness.

But when I found him, he was leaving, being trailed by that Suki girl. I ground my teeth through my smile and wrenched my focus, with effort, back to my girls.

'How dare that bitch intrude?!'

Instead of going home with Haruhi, or even bringing her with me, I went straight home, to where Kaoru should have been, but he wasn't there.

All of a sudden, Kaoru didn't need me.

I was completely dumbfounded the first couple of weeks. I kept waiting for him to be sitting on our bed, waiting for me with his devious grin, ready to let us go back to normal…

Back to Us.

He routinely disappointed me.

"Kaoru doesn't want my company anymore," I would whine to Haruhi, to which she would reply, "Just hive him some time and space and it'll all go back to normal."

How could space help him? How could he get better from that space that drove him to self-mutilation so quickly? Could he really be helped by something so cold?

That was the first real fight I had with Haruhi. It was resolved nearly instantly with ashamed apologies and a curt dismissal of the topic.

But the fighting seemed to build up over time. At first, it was the major issues we had with the relationship I didn't like how cold and blunt she was a t times, and she grew tired of my immaturity and rudeness.

It soon didn't matter what we fought about; it could be anything we had even the slightest disinclination to: the way Haruhi blew the bangs out of her face instead of using her fingers, or the way I flirted "excessively" with other girls.

It was all due to some growing tension and frustration that neither of us could seem to name or resolve. I gave the opinion that we were just too accustomed to the other and that we should tone down our relationship, at least until it felt more comfortable.

But that, of course, lasted only about two days before I had to taste her again.

I was merely losing the foolish battle with my hormones; the tricky bastards always seemed to flare out of control when I was exposed in any amount to that amazing—if a bit dim when it came to those affairs—girl.

In fact, we had only begun to "get along" again when Kaoru introduced us to a familiar face.

Yes, it was that girl.

I felt my face harden as Kaoru explained Haruhi's secret. Even though Haruhi didn't mind, I couldn't help but hate the way he was such an obvious Outsider into our world.

I hated how he could smile with that girl and look more like my Kaoru than he had in months.

I just hated how much I irritated Haruhi with the commotion I made over that girl.

"Hikaru, why does it bother you so much that Kaoru's happy?" she demanded about a week later as I was still going on about it. It should have been just another pleasant drive home, but, "If he's found someone that makes him happy, shouldn't you be happy for him?!"

"It's not right, Haruhi!" I shot back. "She's not supposed to have him!"

"So he's yours?" the girl scoffed. Her arms crossed tightly across her chest. "I suppose I'm yours too, right? Because, you know Hikaru, people just adore being treated like objects. We're just toys to you, aren't we?!"

"I didn't say that! If it were anyone…anyone but her!"

"I thought Suki was quite charming."

"Me too. I just don't want her anywhere near my brother."

I refused to back down on this matter. Suki was a good-looking, well-mannered girl. She was polite and innocent, nearly the perfect representation of a fine Japanese lady; but picturing her next to Kaoru made my blood boil.

She was making me lose him.

Weeks passed, and I grew closer with Haruhi, disputes receding as quickly as they came.

Kaoru was changing, and I blamed that girl.

She was pushing me out of Kaoru's heart, and I couldn't do anything about it, because Kaoru was happy.

I wondered at times if he felt the same sort of thing towards Haruhi—that inexplicable, overpowering hatred that I had.

Those kinds of thoughts caused me to push away from true intimacy with her.

Things really exploded one day.

Of course, I thought it was just another ordinary day. Haruhi, though…

"I can't believe you! It's been three months today! Even Tamaki-senpai said something! But no, you're just more of an asshole than usual today! Honestly," she frowned, arms crossing in their dangerous way, "I think you should just leave today if you're gonna' be like this. You're so immature!"

I sucked my teeth, storming out of her tiny apartment, whipping out my cell phone to call one of our cars. I wondered absently if Kaoru would be home.

The car arrived and I got in. I wouldn't apologize, and neither would she.

"I hope it storms tonight," I muttered darkly to no one. Kaoru would have chastised me for my childish hostility.

'Kaoru,' I thought hungrily. 'Kaoru, would you care about something as ridiculous as a "quarter-year anniversary"?'

If he was home, I promised myself that I would talk to him about it.

I didn't actually expect him to be home.

"Hikaru! You're home…really early…" he greeted me, rising as I stormed into the room. "I thought you were at Haruhi's. Did…Did something happen?"

"It's unbelievable!" I shouted as I crossed the room. I managed to kick our bed with enough force to stub my toe.. "She said I forgot our quarter-year anniversary!"

He didn't seem to know how to react.

"Did you?" he asked in a small voice. I was almost upset with him for acknowledging the stupid occasion.

"I didn't know such a thing existed," I sighed, anger simmering. I flopped to the bed and waited for him to say something.

I waited for a long time, staring at the ground, wondering why I couldn't read Kaoru anymore.

"I missed you," I offered to break the silence that was almost uncomfortable.

"What?"

It wasn't a real question—he was only surprised at either the sound of my voice after the extended silence, or the nature of my words—but I treated it as a question.

"I've missed spending time with you," I explained needlessly, looking up to view his confused, shocked expression. "We're always off doing…well, girlfriend things,—" I grimaced around the word, "—and we haven't really had time to chill, like we used to."

He still didn't understand, so I held out a hand for him, gesturing for him to join me.

He didn't even think about it, obeying nicely.

I couldn't help but wonder how far he'd let me go before making me stop.

'How obedient will you be for me, Kaoru?'

I brought us down, pulling him close to me. Our bodies were drawn together almost magnetically.

"What're you—," he began, but I silenced him with, "Shh…Kaoru. It's okay. Just for right now, okay?" Itried for a moment to remember what he'd called it…

"I'll be Serious with you again."

"But…why?" he asked. No struggle. No rebellion. I grinned dangerously into his face.

"I told you—I missed you."

It wasn't fast at all. I began very gently, working us up so hazardously. I had no intention of losing self-control, but…

Kaoru shifted his head, brushing our noses together delicately…something that Haruhi always did when she was getting bored with kissing. It made me flash back to our argument, and I couldn't' help it.

I dug my nails into Kaoru's neck, right at the top of his shoulders, his jawbone locked in my teeth. I pounded his chest. I raked my fingernails across his back, drawing blood.

I tormented Kaoru, hurt him. It was almost tragic, the sight of his flushed excited face, rich with desire and pain, in the few moments I could see him when I retreated to draw breath.

His cheeks were red with feeling and wet with hurt, eyes firmly shut and leaking despite his efforts to remain stoic.

I let Kaoru open his eyes, waiting in agony for me to act.

I slid my hands over his chest carefully, kissing his lips less harshly than I had been, then turning my attention lower.

The sounds my Kaoru tried not to make were precious and heartbreaking. His arms were clenched together, nails biting into his own elbows, in an effort to end those pitiful noises.

He was so adorable.

Soon, the affair was over, and I wiped my hands on the bed-sheets. I watched Kaoru's body convulse as his body tried to adjust to the feelings trying to take him over.

His body glistened with sweat, as I'm sure mine did as well. I rolled off of the bed, turning back to my brother.

"Kaoru?" I called softly. He opened his eyes, arms finally slackening and returning to his sides.

He looked so precious, blinking up at me, waiting for instruction.

My obedient Kaoru.

"We need to get clean now," I told him, and I offered him my hand. He tried to focus his eyes on it for a moment before accepting it, following me meekly to the bathroom.

I stood him up inside the shower as I cleaned up the mess of our clothes and fetched nightclothes for the both of us. Only then did I join him under the running water.

I enjoyed the feel of hot water over my sweaty body for a moment before turning to my twin, who was…

…Snuffling and wiping his face?

"Kaoru? What's wrong?" I thought about it for a bit before having something click: he was regretting his obedience. "Don't be ashamed, Kaoru. It's okay." I pulled him into my arms, out of the flow of the water.

At least he held me back, face in my neck.

"I love you, Kaoru," I assured him.

"I love you too," he murmured, tickling my neck.

"I'm sorry I did that."

And I was. I really didn't mean to get so carried away. I had only intended to tease him a bit, but…

"You're crying because you think you betrayed your girlfriend, aren't you?"

I released him, searching for the shampoo.

"Well, don't worry about it. Like I said, it was only for tonight."

I turned him around, watching him slouch as I washed his hair. He seemed to crumple under my hands.

"Kaoru? Kaoru, what's wrong with you?!"

Without warning, he whirled around, grabbing my shoulders and forcing our lips together again. I almost kissed him back before waking up, pushing him away.

"Kaoru, what is it?" I half-demanded, trying not to sound accusatory or upset after what I had just done.

"Hikaru…please…" Kaoru seemed so hurt, so deeply shaken, that I couldn't move. "…Don't ask me to say anything."

I'll admit, I was disturbed and greatly confused by this Kaoru, but I managed to get us both washed and back in bed.

Kaoru didn't speak or even meet my eyes all night, but he did hold my hand under the sheets.