A/N: I do not own Conker or any related characters and places. Only my OCs.

CONKER: LIVE & RELOADED

The future war

Conker's POV

I felt like he's been out cold forever, even though it was only a few hours. As I woke up, I didn't find myself in the castle or the transport…but I found himself in the underworld, as I recognized the gothic and spooky place I now found myself in.

"The underworld?" I asked. "What am I doing here? I'm not dead…am i?"

"Not really ya little prick!" I heard a familiar high pitched voice. "The underworld has summoned you here to give you a warning!"

I looked over my shoulder and saw none other than the short, high pitched voiced, cat-hating grim reaper. "Well, if it ain't Gregg the Grim Reaper!" I greeted sarcastically.

"Quit the sarcasm ya little prick, for I have a message for you!" Gregg glared bitterly at me.

"Yeah, okay, what do ya have to tell me?" I asked.

"Well, according to my masters, there should have been two individuals who were supposed to have showed up here, yet they didn't." Gregg explained. "One was a legless weasel freak with cyborg body parts, and another, a blonde chipmunk with a ponytail and…dreamy looking wonder spots."

I gave Gregg the death glare when I realized he was talking about Berri's wonder spots. "Hey! You watch it buddy!" he growled.

"Silence you little prick and let me finish!" Gregg growled back. "As I was saying, what happens is, this weasel freak has somehow, shall we say, rescued by a group of robotic teddy bears, along with your girlfriend's corpse. Now, apparently, the weasel freak has brought your girlfriend back to life, except he made her into his puppet and commander of those teddy bear things."

"Berri…" I whispered in concern.

"While you and your indestructible friend managed to escape, the weasel and his new army have just destroyed completely what used to be your castle along with the rest of the Panther Kingdom." Gregg continued on. "We're still not sure what he's planning, but one thing is certain: a new war between the squirrels and the evil teddy bears will begin, and you are the only one who can put an end to it!"

"Me?" I asked. "Why does it have to be me to solve every problem?"

"Hold your horses there, you smart arse, I'm not finished yet!" Gregg threatened with his scythe. "The thing is, you are the one who's going to put an end to the future war, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to do it on your own! You're going to need a team of specialists, a team of brave and experienced soldiers to help you out! However, they are all scattered all across the globe, so you and the other squirrels will have to find them yourselves."

"Oh, cool!" I said. "But…what about Berri? Is there any way to bring her back to her senses?"

"Bah! How should I know!" Gregg said. "Sorry ya little prick, but you'll have to figure that out on your own!"

"Okay, okay…I'll figure something out…" I said sadly, but feeling even more concerned about Berri.

"Well, that's my message, now piss off! I've got some cats to see!" Gregg said as he left, while mumbling about how much he hates cats.

I looked around my surroundings when I've noticed a red squirrel tail hanging from a hook. "Berri, no matter what, I will rescue you, I promise!" I vowed as I walked over to the tail and grabbed it.

The tail was absorbed into my body as I grabbed it, then the next thing I know is a huge skeleton hand come out of the darkness and pick me up, sending me back to the living world.

"Conker! Conker! Wake up!"

I slowly opened my eyes, and saw Rodent and the Colonel looking at me in concern. "Rodent? Colonel guy?" I asked.

"Damn! You sure is lucky bastard you're still alive!" the Colonel said.

"Conker! You've been unconscious for hours! We've been worried about you!" Rodent said.

"Yeah, sorry about that…" I said as I got up from my bed, but still feeling dizzy. "Where are we anyway?"

"You're now in the SHC Fortress' hospital!" Rodent said. "We thought you were in a bad condition so we've brought you here as fast as we could."

"Oh…" I said. "Wait! The SHC Fortress?"

"That is correct son! You are now in the Squirrel High Command's HQ!" The Colonel said. "You guys sure is lucky bastards for ever surviving that assault in the castle! It seems that the Tediz have returned along with their leader: Professor Von Kriplespac!"

"Von Kriplespac?" I asked.

"Yup, that's the mad weasel freak's name…also known as the former Weasel King!" the Colonel said. "The leader and true creator of the Tediz!"

"Huh?" I asked when suddenly I remembered something. "The Weasel King? But I though he only lived in fairy tales that my mum used to tell me to put me to sleep?"

"Fairy Tales my ass!" the Colonel said. "He is real alright! He's been forced to work as the Panther King's professor ever since he chopped his legs off!"

"Chopped his legs off?" I asked when I realized something. "Oh yeah, I remember that weasel freak was flying on a hoverchair, due to the fact he didn't have legs at all! But still…are you sure he's really the former Weasel King?"

"If he's the one leading the Tediz, then there's no doubt he's the former Weasel King himself!" the Colonel said.

"Conker! The Weasel King still has Berri as his slave and they destroyed more than half of the kingdom!" Rodent said.

"Say what?" I gawked.

"Take a look at this!" the Colonel said turning the TV on, showing a news report about how the Tediz destroyed more than half of the Panther Kingdom, even showing pictures of the Tediz unleashing their terror, along with that professor guy, Von Kriplespac to be exact, and…Berri…I was shocked beyond words, along with anger.

"That bastard!" I growled. "If he thinks that he can turn my girlfriend into his puppet, he's got another thing coming!"

"Not only that, Von Kriplespac has also constructed a giant fortress over the castle's ruins!" Rodent said. "He made it into his Tedi army's HQ and plan to spread their wrath across the whole world!"

"Across the whole world?" I asked.

"Son! You and Rodent defeated the Tediz before, so I'm counting on both of you to put a stop to Von Kriplespac's plans ASAP! Understood?" the Colonel asked.

"Just me and Rodent?" I asked. "Sorry, but I don't believe it will be enough to infiltrate that fortress."

"Say what!" the Colonel gawked in shock. "Whaddya mean?"

"I don't think it's enough!" I said. "I met Von Kriplespac before, and if he's this dangerous, then I'm pretty sure he has made his fortress a place almost impossible to infiltrate."

"Then what do you suggest Conker?" Rodent asked.

"To infiltrate Von Kriplespac's fortress, we'll need a team of specialists!" I said. "We need a team of brave and experienced soldiers, who won't flinch in a game of chicken! Soldiers who can survive almost everything, but when together, they are almost invincible!"

Rodent and the Colonel looked at each other, until they came to the conclusion. "Son! That is the brightest idea I've heard since my mama taught me how to stand up against all those bullies back in high school!" the Colonel said.

"That's out king!" Rodent said.

"Sorry Rodent, but I'm no longer a king." I said as I took off the crown off my head. "From now on…I'm just Conker!" I dropped the crown on the ground. "Conker the Squirrel!"

"Wait! You're giving up on being a king?" Rodent and the Colonel asked in shock.

"Yeah, I've never asked for this life in the first place…" I said. "All I wanted was to live a normal life, with Berri! But no! Because she was first killed by Don Weaso and now that bastard Von Kriplespac revived her and is using her as his puppet and commander for the Tediz and only I can rescue her!"

Rodent and the Colonel stood there silently until the Colonel spoke. "Then…Conker the Squirrel…you will rejoin the SHC and lead the assault on Von Kriplespac's fortress?" he asked me.

A light bulb appeared over my head, then, I pulled the curtains and after a few seconds, I show that I've changed from my normal clothing, the blue hoodie, green shorts, both with yellow high lights and my sneakers with my SHC uniform, along with the blood covered helmet. I put on a lightened up cigar in my mouth and pull out an Assault Rifle.

"You bet your ass I will!" I said posing in a badass way with my Assault Rifle.

"Then it's settled!" the Colonel said. "Conker and Rodent! I'll leave you two in charge of recruiting the best of the best soldiers you can get for the assault ASAP! We have a war to fight!"

"Yes sir!" Rodent and I saluted.

"Good luck!" the Colonel said as he left singing. "I don't know what I've been told, do do do do do do do! I…uh…I don't know what I've been told…do…uh…doo…bah! $%&# that #$%&!" he swore after he messed up his song.

Normal POV

Meanwhile, I Von Kriplespac's new fortress…

The new fortress was a horrific palace, heavy weaponry for security system, cyborg Tediz patrolling every single corner, willing to kill any intruder they find. Meanwhile, Von Kriplespac was in his lab watching with delight the construction of his new Tediz, while Berri, still a mindless puppet minion of his, just stood there next to him showing no emotion.

"Sir! We have found the portal to the Dark Place!" one Tedi soldier reported.

"Ah, excellent! We shall finally vinish off those &%$#ing Kulas of Conk!" Kriplespac laughed maniacally.

"Uh…yeah, that's the problem…" the Tedi soldier spoke nervously. "We have no idea how the portal works!"

"What the #%&$?" Von Kriplespac gawked. "What vo ya mean!"

"That's just it! We've tried to activate the portal, but no matter what, we just couldn't activate it!" the Tedi soldier said.

"Damn it! Vow can zat be?" Von Kriplespac demanded. "SHOW ME THE PORTAL NOW!"

"Y-yes sir!" the Tedi soldier said nervously.

The Tedi soldier led Von Kriplespac, followed by Berri, through the base as they went deeper to the last floor of the basement, where they found a circular stone structure, which was buried underground, until the Tediz had dug it up.

"This is it my liege!" the Tedi soldier said.

The legless mad weasel hovered over to the structure on his hoverchair as he examined it very carefully, while the Tediz watched nervously and Berri just stood there silently and showing no emotion at all.

"Hmm, ves! I think I zee the problem!" Von Kriplespac said. "Zis is no ordinary device! It is an ancient dark magical portal, which only the Panther King knew whish was it! In order to open it, ve will need the knowledge of this spell and use it to open it!"

"That's a great idea!" one Tedi soldier said. "Except…you killed the Panther King…"

"I know that fool! However, if I recall, the Panther King once had a diary where he wrote down all of his secrets…but fearing someone might want to use it to unbanish the Kulas, or for whatever other reason, he tore it apart to pieces and scattered each piece of his diary all across the globe!" Von Kriplespac said.

"So, what we need to do is find them…sounds easy enough…" one Tedi soldier said.

"Not so fast soldier!" Von Kriplespac said. "Those SHC bastards also know about the Panther King's diary! They will surely try to stop you from getting them! So, I'm sending Berri along with our best soldiers!"

Von Kriplespac pushed a button on his hoverchair, summoning 5 Tediz, of different sizes and classes.

"Abreiben!"

"Ready to blow %&$# up!" a large and evil looking Tedi Demolisher said pulling out a Rocket Launcher.

"Schleichen!"

"They won't know what hit them!" a Tedi Sneeker wearing red ninja like clothes said pulling out a sharp sabre.

"Es!"

"Its BBQ time!" a psychotic looking cyborg Tedi Thermophile said holding up a flamethrower.

"Entfernung!"

"I hunger for Head-Shots!" a Tedi Long Ranger with an eye patch over his eye said holding up a Sniper Rifle.

"And Himmel!"

"I'll blast them from above!" a Tedi Sky Jokey in a pilot outfit said, cracking his knuckles.

"My elite Tediz, you and Commander Berri have been chosen for an assignment!" Von Kriplespac announced. "I'm sending you all on a mission to go around the world and gather every page of the Panther King's diary, so we can figure out what spell did he use to banish the Kulas of Conk to the Dark Place! Do you accept the mission?"

"Yes my liege! We won't fail you!" The elite Tediz said in their sinister tone.

"Oh and another thing…" Von Kriplespac said. "If you see a red squirrel along with his SHC buddies…KILL THEM!"

"Yes my liege! The red squirrel and the SHC will soon no longer be a problem!" the elite Tediz said even more sinisterly.

"Good!" Von Kriplespac laughed maniacally like an idiot when suddenly he stop due to a stitch. "OW! OW! I've gloated so hard I think I've pulled a muscle…" he complained holding his sides.

A/N: Here's the third chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! Want more? Then stay tuned for the next chapter of CONKER: LIVE & RELOADED! R&R please! It would encourage me to help me continue!