Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.
Enter Ozzel, asleep.
Ozzel wakes from a pain in his leg.
Ozzel. Damned leg.
Ozzel rises and starts a fire on the stove, flicking on the subspace transceiver.
Meteorologist. [over transceiver] . . . south dry spells of light to moderate rain with the outlook of temperatures from fifty-five to sixty-one degrees standard. Further north, cumulative winds, light snow expected with increasing clouds . . .
Ozzel sees a fire lit with Convergence, the proper name of House Palpatine.
Ozzel. Kriffing kids.
Ozzel takes his walking stick and steps out of his cottage, using a glowrod for light.
Ozzel fumbles for a keycard and opens the door.
Ozzel steps inside, sneaking up the stairs until he finds the lit room.
Enter Lord Sidious (unseen by Ozzel) and Nute Gunray.
Gunray. There is a little more in the bottle, my Lord, if you are still hungry.
Sidious.[off stage]Later. Move me closer to the fire, Viceroy.
Gunray does so.
Where is Maul?
Gunray. I . . . I don't know, my Lord. She set out to explore the villa, I think.
Sidious. [off stage] You will milk her before we retire, Viceroy. I will need feeding in the night. The journey has tired me greatly.
Gunray. My Lord. May I ask how long we will be staying here?
Sidious.[off stage]A week. Perhaps longer. The place is moderately comfortable, and the plan cannot proceed yet. It would be foolish to act before the Smashball Galactic Cup is over.
Gunray. The . . . the Smashball Galactic Cup, my Lord? Forgive me, but . . . I do not understand. Why should we wait until the Galactic Cup is over?
Sidious.[off stage]Because, fool, at this very moment beings are pouring into the Core from all across the galaxy, and every meddler from the Republic will be on duty, on the watch for signs of unusual activity, checking and double-checking identities. They will be obsessed with security, lest the mundane notice anything. So we wait.
Gunray. Your Lordship is still determined, then?
Sidious.[off stage, cold] Certainly I am determined, Viceroy. How fastidious you've become, Viceroy. As I recall, you once called the newest scuttlebutt home. Could it be that your boundless mercy is but unwillingness from you?
Gunray. Oh, no, my Lord Sidious. I only meant . . . perhaps if we were to do it without the boy.
Sidious. [off stage] No! The boy is everything. It cannot be done without him. And it will be done exactly as I say.
Gunray. I will not disappoint you, my Lord. But Luke Skywalker is so well protected . . .
Sidious. [off stage] And so you volunteer to go and find me a substitute? I wonder . . . perhaps the task of nursing me has grown tiresome for you? Could this suggestion of abandoning the plan be nothing more than an ill-conceived attempt to desert me?
Gunray. My Lord. I . . . I have no wish to desert you - none at all.
Sidious. [off stage] Do not lie to me. I can always tell, Viceroy. You are regretting that you have ever returned to me. I revolt you. I see you flinch each time you look upon me, see you shudder each time you touch me . . .
Gunray. No! My devotion to Your Lordship . . .
Sidious. [off stage] Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go. How am I to survive without you, when I need feeding every few hours? Who is to milk Maul?
Gunray. You seem so much stronger, my Lord.
Sidious. [off stage] Liar. I am no stronger, and a few days alone would be enough to rob me of the little health I have regained under your clumsy care.
Gunray. [sputters incoherently]
Sidious. [off stage] Silence! I have my reasons for using the boy, as I have explained to you, and I will use no other. I have waited thirteen years. A few more months will make no difference. As for the protection surrounding the boy, I believe my plan will be effective. All that is needed is a little courage from you, Viceroy . . . courage you will find, unless you wish to feel the full extent of Lord Sidious's wrath . . .
Gunray. My Lord. I must speak. All through our journey, I have gone over the plan in my head . . . My Lord, Danni Quee's disappearance will not go unnoticed for long, and if we proceed, if I murder . . .
Sidious. [off stage] If? If? If you follow the plan, Viceroy, the Republic needn't know that anyone else has died. You will do it quietly and without fuss. I only wish that I could do it myself, but in my present condition . . . Come, Viceroy, one more death and our path to Luke Skywalker is clear. I am not asking you to do it alone. By that time, my faithful servant will have rejoined us . . .
Gunray. I am a faithful servant.
Sidious. [off stage] Viceroy. I need somebody with brains, somebody whose loyalties have never wavered. And you, unfortunately, fulfill neither requirement.
Gunray. I found you. I was the one who found you. I brought you Danni Quee.
Sidious. [off stage] That is true. A stroke of brilliance I would not have thought possible from you, Viceroy. Though, if truth be told, you were not aware how useful she would be when you caught her, were you?
Gunray. I . . . I thought she might be useful, my Lord.
Sidious. [off stage] Liar. However, I do not deny that her information was invaluable. Without it, I would never have formed our plan. And for that, you will receive your reward, Viceroy. I will allow you to fulfill an essential task for me, one that many of my followers would give their right hands to perform. . . .
Gunray. R-really, my Lord? What . . . ?
Sidious. [off stage] Ah, Viceroy, you don't want me to spoil the surprise? Your part will come at the very end. But I promise you, you will have the honor of being just as useful as Danni Quee.
Gunray. Are you going to kill me, too?
Sidious. [off stage] Viceroy, Viceroy. Why would I kill you? I killed Danni because I had to. She was fit for nothing after my questioning, quite useless. In any case, awkward questions would have been asked if she had gone back to the Republic with the news that she had met you on her holidays. Beings who supposed to be dead would do well not to run into Republic bureaucrats in Outer Rim cantinas.
Gunray. We could have rubbed her memory.
Sidious. [off stage] "We could have rubbed her memory?" But memory rubs can be broken by a powerful Sith Lord, as I proved when I questioned her. It would be an insult to her memory not to use the information I extracted from her, Viceroy.
Ozzel. [aside] This being is dangerous, a madman. He must be stopped. I must comm the Korriban Security Force at once. I must . . .
Sidious. [off stage] One more murder, my faithful servant at the Jedi Temple . . . Luke Skywalker is within my grasp, Viceroy. It is decided. There will be no more argument. Be quiet. I think I hear Maul. [in Yuuzhan Vong] Come, Maul, my servant. Come to me.
Enter Maul, a horned serpent with feral yellow eyes, red skin, and black tattoos.
Ozzel stiffens, as Maul slithers into the room wherein Sidious and Gunray speak.
Report.
Maul. [in Yuuzhan Vong] I am afraid we are not alone, Master. An elderly mundane human waits outside the door, listening to every word you speak.
Sidious. [off stage, in Basic] Maul tells me the old mundane caretaker is standing just outside the door.
Gunray opens the door, revealing his red eyes and mottled green skin.
Step aside, Viceroy, so I can give our guest a proper greeting.
Ozzel steps into the room.
You heard everything, mundane?
Ozzel. What's that you're calling me?
Sidious. [off stage] I am calling you mundane. It means you are not Force-sensitive.
Ozzel. I don't know what you mean by Force-sensitive. All I know is I have heard enough tonight to interest the police. You have done murder and you are planning more. And I'll tell you this, too, my wife knows I am up here, and if I don't come back . . .
Sidious. [off stage] You have no wife. Nobody knows you are here. Do not lie to Lord Sidious, mundane, for he knows. He always knows.
Ozzel. Is that right? Lord, is it? Well, I don't think much of your manners, my Lord. Turn around and face me like a man, why don't you?
Sidious. [off stage] But I am not a man, mundane. I am much, much more than a man. However . . . why not? I will face you. Viceroy, come and turn my chair around.
Gunray whimpers.
You heard me, Viceroy.
Gunray turns the chair, revealing Sidious's form: a shriveled being with wrinkled skin as pale as a corpse, feral yellow eyes, and wild silver hair.
Ozzel. [screams]
Sidious. Kill.
Reaching into the dark side, Sidious exhausts Ozzel's life energy.
Ozzel dies.
Exit all.
