I watched as Feyre studied me, the sharp mind behind those stormy eyes that she'd hidden from Tam so well.

Truthfully, I hated her for leaving.

Despite everything that had happened, I had stayed. I had weathered Tamlin's temper. I had taken his rantings. I had followed his orders to give the people of Spring someone to look to as they rebuilt – to give them some stability as they picked up the pieces of whatever they had left after Amarantha.

Feyre could have helped me, helped Tam. Instead, she ran away – right into Rhysand's arms. Rhys, who delighted in terror and found cruelty to be a sport.

But she had run away. Whatever Tamlin believed, Feyre had left of her own free will. I knew it in my bones, even before the letter came, before I went to the Night Court to retrieve her. Despite that, I still believed that she should have returned with me – she could have been a beacon of hope and safety to the denizens of Spring. More than that, she knew what Tamlin might do in her absence, if he thought she was in danger.

I had lost everything the moment I watched my beloved die at the hands of my father – my family, my home, any hope I had for a future. At the time, I would have given anything to take her place – to not have to be left behind in a world that was infinitely lonely and devoid of happiness. I had had my one chance at starting over when Tam took me in. He had given me security, status, friends when I so desperately needed them and I was forever indebted to him.

Even so… in over a century at this court, and the lingering darkness had never truly left me. It was selfish and ungrateful and I would never have told Tam but I still felt as endlessly sad as I did a hundred years ago. I had concentrated so hard on ignoring what had happened, believing that it was a wound I could never truly heal. But… sometimes I wish I had tried.

Tried because, as I looked at the woman before me, I could see no shadows haunting her eyes. I knew the terrors she had suffered after the events of Under the Mountain, and I hadn't tried to help because that wasn't what was done. I didn't think that there was anything I could do. But looking at her sure stance, her steady gaze, I knew I had been wrong.

Whatever Feyre had been doing over the last few months, it had been what she needed to heal. And for the woman who offered up her name to save me, the human who had thrown a spear at a Faerie Queen in defiance – I wanted her to have that healing. And perhaps, I wanted to think that if she had found it, maybe I could too.

Feyre appraised me a final time before uttering the words that made my heart still.

"I know where Elain is."

Immediately, before I could react, she downed the vial in one go.

It took less than an instant.

Her arms slackened, then her eyes widened as if in surprise. Then, rather unceremonially, she collapsed in a heap on the ground.

Even with my Fae hearing and sight, I couldn't hear her breathing or see the rise and fall of her chest.

Dead – but not truly.

Clever – so clever to say the one thing she knew might stop me from turning her over to Tamlin. It had been shocking when my heart was gripped with an unmistakable, unbreakable hold. A mating bond – so rare, so precious. In that moment, I had wondered if the redemption I had sought for centuries was truly to be dangled before me before being snatched away. However, later I was almost glad Elain – even my thoughts stumbled over her name - didn't return with us. The Spring Court was volatile, held firmly in Hybern's fist and subject to the whims of Tamlin's rages. Moreover – and this was something buried deep in my heart – I was terrified that if I met her while I was still so broken, I would screw it all up. No doubt after what happened to her, Elain would need healing and adjustment of her own. And maybe – maybe, someday when we both found what we needed to survive, we would find each other. But I was not of the Spring Court – I would be damned if I followed in their ancient traditions and sought her out before she was ready. Before we both were.

Now though, I would fight for a future. I had no idea what the Mother had planned for me, but after Feyre's return I knew that there might be something more than existing in sadness. Maybe even something more than Spring, after years of thinking there was nowhere else I could go.

Snapped back into the present, I drew my bow from across by back and nocked an arrow into it. And then, I loosed a cry.

"FEYRE! DON'T-"

I could hear the momentary pause as my voice rang through the forest.

And then, chaos.

A.N. Sorry it's taken a while – next chapter will follow shortly. Any and all comments are welcomed.