A/N : Well hi guys! I started this chapter a long time ago (clearly I haven't update in so long), but never found the time nor the inspiration to continue with it. But as my final exam approaches, I've suddenly been struck with the inspiration beast and finished it. I honestly don't know when the last chapter will be posted (hopefully within this month if the beast doesn't leave me too soon), but it will be posted eventually, I promise.

On that note, enjoy!


Si tu cherches à savoir le chemin qu'il faut suivre
Si tu cherches à comprendre ce pourquoi tu t'en vas
Si tu vois ton bateau voguer à la dérive
Amène-toi chez nous, j'aurais du rhum pour toi
Je ne suis pas marin, je vis loin de la rive
Mais peut-être qu'à cent nous trouverons la voix
Viens

Translation

If you're wondering about the path you must take

If you want to understand why you're leaving

If you see your ship sail away

Come over, I'll have rum for you

I'm not a sailor; I live far from the coast

But perhaps a hundred of us will find a voice

Come

"Can we just talk about something else?"

"Yeah"… " How's Josh?"

"Fine. He's a…He's on his way to Haiti to do another Doctor Without Borders mission."

"How long?"

Shrugs and whispers "I don't know. It's so funny, Castle. You know, at first, I loved that he was so busy. It just…It just gave me an opportunity to keep one foot out the door, just in case."

"But with one foot out the door, it's hard to know where you stand"

"And even if I did, what does it mean? He's out there, he's saving people. How do you even compete with that?"

"You can't. No. No one can.

"That's one of the things that attracted me to him the most. That passion. That drive. Why is it that the thing that attracts you to a person always ends up being that thing that just drives you crazy? I just wish that it… I wish that I had someone who would be there for me and I could be there for him, and we could just dive into it together."

He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't like Josh. He really doesn't like the guy. He's made it abundantly clear. But now that she says she might have doubts about her relationship, he can't say it anymore. All the spiteful things are stuck in his too tight throat.

"Do you want it to be him?" he finally says.

Seconds pass in a heavy silence.

"I-" Her shoulders sag. "I'm not sure."

The tips of his fingers skim her shoulder, the briefest of touches, and he thinks she shudders slightly.

"Well, for all I know, he's not as smart as he looks if he doesn't realize how amazing you are and doesn't hold on the you tighter."

A lovely shade of red rises in her cheeks.

"You're sweet, Castle."

"I mean, you are intelligent, beautiful, savvy, strong. One of a kind. And Josh has the nerve to take it for granted," he continues, encouraged by her words.

She stops him, her hand on top of his.

"Castle. Stop. I know-I know it's mostly my fault. Like I said. One foot out the door..." She lets of a frustrated breath.

"Yeah."He turns his palm towards her hand, theirs fingers intertwined. She doesn't resist. He marvels at how they fit together, how her hands look so small and her long fingers feel almost delicate. He doesn't want to crush them. He wants to hold them forever.

"Kate." She hums, eyes trained on him. "I-" He's suddenly very aware of their locked hands and their kissing palms, aware of the circles his thumb is rubbing on her soft skin. He fights the urge to confess his ever-growing feelings to her because this is not the right time or place. He can't be selfish like that. If nothing more, he has to be her best friend now. "Do you think he's worth fighting for?"

He hopes the answer is no. The nagging voice in his head is petty and frustrated and pleads for it.

"We'll see. He's a nice man."

Rick can't help but think that nice isn't enough for her, that she deserves nothing short of amazing. Nice was his marriage with Gina, convenient, practical. He doesn't say it.

"I don't think Gina would be happy to hear that," she teases.

" Don't tell her I said that." He makes of show of loudly gulping, his eyes exaggeratedly wide.

She scoffs, the corner of her lips upturned. "Wouldn't dream of it." She looks uncomfortable for a moment. "Is that really what you think? My relationship with Josh. Do you really think it's...practical? Convenient?"

He's never seen her so insecure. The Beckett he knows is self-assured, confident in everything she does. But this is not Beckett in front of him, asking him love advice. This is Kate, soft and open, more beautiful than anyone he's ever seen. He finds himself awkward and tentative, unsure of how to be around her.

"I think-I think it's not my place to judge. You have to ask yourself how far you are willing to go for him, how much of yourself are you willing to let him see."

"That's surprisingly good advice, Mr. Castle."

"Sometimes I surprise myself." She laughs at that and he doesn't think he's ever heard something as lovelier as that. The smiles linger over both their faces.

"I'm glad I'm here with you, Rick" she whispers. "I can't imagine a life in which we would have never met. As much as you annoy me, I want you to know that I'm glad you are the one here with me." Her hand leaves his and he almost whimpers, already misses the warmth of her skin, but the whine is stuck in his throat when he feels her lips delicately touch his cheek. He can't. That's what goes through his mind. He can't sit there and pretend he's this amazing friend who's only got her happiness in mind.

"I can't." It's so soft, she barely hears it. "Please." It hurts. The way he said it hurts. His eyes are distant now, guarded in a way she's rarely seen from him. Not with her anyway. She knows, oh, of course she knows that he's not just her friend. He'll always have a special place in her heart. But Josh is easier, simpler. Someone like Josh is the only thing she can handle right now.

She closes her eyes for a moment, can't bear to see the steel that's back in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."

"You shouldn't have." A beat passes, and his voice soften when adds "but when this case is wrapped up, come over. We'll discuss this Josh situation over a nice bottle of wine."

She smiles wildly and his heart skips a beat because all he wants is to see that everyday. But for now, the promise of her company and the silent companionship between them is enough.


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Side note, all the mistakes are mine, so if there's on that bugs you, just leave it in a reviews, I'll try to fix it!

Coffee Cup