You're reading- My Immortal, my ass. Warning- serious brain cells may be lost while reading the original copy. Tears of blood may be cried, heads may be banged, and you will have serious urges to kill something while reading this.
Chapters 4 & 5
Chapter 4
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY [Yes, author dear, I know Ebony's name is Enoby] nut mary su OK!Chapters 4 & 5 [*laughing my ass off* Of course Enoby's name is Mary Sue- since you obviously know what 'Mary Sue' means, don't you?] DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! [-again-Mary Sue] dey nu eechodder [eechodder- that sounds like something cattle graze. Just in case you aren't able to decipher it- because I wasn't at first- she means to say 'each other'] b4 ok!
"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" [um...driving a flying car..? Speaking of which- when the hell did he get a license? Or even learn to drive? Or even KNEW what a car is?]
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it [right in mid-air, because I don't see her mentioning whether they landed on ground or not so lets just assume he fell down] I walked out of it too, curiously.[...and then she fell down too]
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.
"Ebony?" he asked. [No wait- wasn't it 'Enoby'?]
"What?" I snapped.
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) [Draco: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Me: *shaking head* oh Enoby, Enoby, Enoby, Lucius is going to kill you...] which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. [because I can never stay mad at someone when he looks at me with sorrow and 'evilness'...]
And then… suddenly just as I [ just as I...what? Just as I...WHAT, Enoby?! I'm dying here!] Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me [...in mid-air as we floated around in the air- because we are magical people- we can do anything!] and we started to make out keenly against a tree [..which I can only hope is The Whomping Willow]. He took of [*off*, you pathetic girl, its *OFF*] my top and I took of [*OFF*] his clothes. I even took of [Oh God...] my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. [My eyes burned when I read this. 'Nuff said]
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm [..because this scene's just so steamy] We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was….Dumbledore! [...who was ALSO floating in mid-air!]
Chapter 5.
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! [Oh honey, if I flame, it actually means I'm SANE] Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! [So Dumbledore- poor little Dumbledore- was walking around in the Forbidden Forest with a splitting headache and he saw them going at it, so he shouted 'You motherfukers!' because it is the most natural thing to do in this situation] PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! [Oh come on, only five?]
Dumbledore made [Dumbledore made what...? Lemonade?] and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. [Its 'ludicrous', I'm pretty sure- unless she's made her own 'goffick' language]
I started to cry tears of blood [which is a naturally occurring phenomena in the lives of 'gofficks'-slash-depressed-slash-vampires-slash-mental retards] down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.
"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. [Oh no, this is Miss Enoby Mental Illness we're talking about- how dare McGonagall question her actions?!]
"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.
And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"[Me: surprise, surprise! The real Draco Malfoy: *dies*]
Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."
Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us. [Upstairs WHERE? It's a freakin' CASTLE- not a small two-floored house!]
"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.
"Yeah I guess." I lied. [Because she has every right to be depressed after her crush confessed his love for her in front of the school faculty members] I went to the girl's dorm [What happened to her coffin and separate bedroom?] and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….
Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte [What? He just starts singing randomly? Isn't that a little weird? Oh wait *looks dumbly at this fic* Oh, I get it...] I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.[...to plot my murder]
A/N [Strangershadow] : So this was my opinion on these amazingly good chapters by the incomparable Tara What's-her-face. If I'm correct, her username was something like 'XXXbloddyrists666XXX' which in itself speaks miles about her, because slitting your wrists is a very serious issue. Ignore my rant and thanks for reading :)
And of course, thankyou for your review, Fallen-Ryu :)
~Yours truly~
