See chapter 1 for the full disclaimer.
"I'm cold." Sam stated through chattering teeth. "Carly, can I have another blanket?"
"Sure." She heard an unfamiliar man say.
Fear gripped her, "Who are you?' She was trying to flee.
"Ben, your PCA. You wanna talk to the doctor?"
"Where am I?" Sam started to sit up, but Ben stopped her.
"Seattle Children's Hospital. They have you restrained. Suicide watch. Lemme show you how to work the bed." He pulled up the remote control. "These two control the head, the feet and the TV." He pointed out the controls.
"You're the first person who's been nice to me in a while. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He smiled at her, "You okay?"
A wave a queasiness rocked Sam, "No, trash can."
Ben knew from the report that Sam had a large quantity of alcohol in her system, so he had placed a few extra trashcans in her room. Sam lost the battle with her stomach, several times. She ended up dry heaving two or three times. Ben took the used can and handed her a clean one.
"For later." He told her. As she fell back asleep, he covered her with another blanket. He mentioned the vomiting to the attending.
Sam awoke up to find a young woman washing her face off. The warm cloth and gentle touch felt wonderful. Sam noticed that the head portion was elevated. The woman didn't look like a nurse or a cop, but she kept her guard up. "Who you?" Sam could just croak out.
"Hi, I'm Jennette. I'll be your PCA this afternoon." She picked up a small cup of water with a bendy straw. Sam sucked the cold water down.
"Where's Ben?"
"He went home a while ago." She grinned. "They do let us go home."
"Must be nice to have somewhere you want to go."
"You must have somewhere to go?"
"Tried, they stopped me." Sam didn't seem to care.
"That young man, Freddie, he went to the vending machines to get something to eat. He's barely left this chair since he got here at 6 am."
Why is he here? Sam wanted to be alone, but she also wanted someone to talk to.
"He really seems care about you. Is he your boyfriend?"
"No, He likes Carly? She's funny and pretty."
"The brunette?"
"Yeah." Sam wished she could wipe her eyes. "I'm the third wheel here."
"Really?" Jennette asked, "Freddie hardly paid any attention to her."
"You're just saying that. Freddie hates me, a brother/sister sort of way." Sam could barely keep it together. "You have any family?"
"A younger brother. You?"
"Sister, she's older by all of 2 minutes." Sam wished she could see Melanie. "She's also perfect. Smart, pretty, great hair, friends that would do anything for her."
"Sounds nothing like you." Jennette said sarcastically.
"She got this scholarship to a preppy school in Sacramento. I see her maybe twice a year. Melanie would be better off an only child."
"Well, Samantha I'm not. So you're gonna have to buck up and deal." An oddly familiar voice said from the doorway.
"Oh, shit. When did you get here?" Sam wished she could hide. "You came to gloat, right."
"I'll leave you two alone." Jennette quietly backed out of the room.
"No, I came back to help my little sister. Carly called me last night. She was crying so bad, I thought you were dead. Do you know what it's like to be on an airplane, for two hours, thinking your sister's dead!"
"I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time."
All of Melanie's anger came out in one act; she slapped Sam in the face. Melanie stood there, not believing what she did. "Oh my God; I'm sorry Samantha."
"Might as well join in, everyone else uses me as a punching bag." Sam acted as if it was no big deal.
"I'm sorry, I know I never say it, but I love you Samantha. You're my sister." Melanie sat on the bed.
"Why?" Melanie finally broke the silence. "Why Samantha?"
"You have no idea what I've had to go through, listening to 'Why can't you be smart like your sister?' or 'Why can't you be pretty like Melanie?' Then Mom's new boyfriend's brother shows up and starts hitting on me. He's like, 24 or 25. And then last Thursday, he slipped something in my peppie cola…and…he, um…raped me." Sam felt like she was reliving it. "I tried to stop him, but he was too strong."
"It'll be all right, Samantha." Melanie held her sister, letting her cry out her pain.
"What are you doing out of bed, Sam?" Freddie walked in.
"I'm Melanie. Remember, we danced and you kissed me."
Sam lay back on the pillows. "You kissed Freddie?"
"Yeah, he's a great kisser."
"True that."
"You're really real?" Freddie looked at the identical women. "You want some juice?"
"Anything with sugar." Sam felt light-headed.
"Thank you Freddie." Melanie took the bottles from him.
"There's a bendy straw in that cup." Sam pulled at the restraints. "Freddie, you bring me some ham?"
"Sorry."
"You're useless." She saw Freddie walk towards the door, and started to cry again. "Please don't leave me! I'm sorry Freddie! PLEASE STAY!!" She almost separated her shoulders lunging for Freddie. "I NEED YOU!"
"Hadn't planned on leaving." Someone had moved his chair next to the door; he pulled it closer to the bed. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I love you."
"I'm just so used to hearing shit like that. Usually directed at me, I am so fucked in the head." Sam lost it. "Maybe I should've died."
"Samantha, don't make me smack you again." Melanie ordered.
"Sorry." Sam blubbered out between tears. "How can twins be so different?"
"I got out, and you stayed in that toxic home."
"I gotta get out of there." Sam blinked a few times; "I don't feel so good. Get the trash can."
"Here." Melanie held it with one hand and pulled Sam's hair back with the other.
"I'll find a doctor." Freddie slipped out.
Sam took some deep breaths, but they failed to work. Sam lost the contents of her stomach. Seeing that clear slimy mess made her vomit again.
"You gonna be okay?" Melanie wiped Sam's mouth.
Nodding, she lay back. "I gotta keep something down."
"That's the first smart thing you've said all day." Melanie hugged her little sister.
"How's the patent doing?"
"Like deep fried shit." Sam never looked at the doctor; it took more energy than she had at the moment.
"What time is it?"
"About 3 PM."
"What day"
"Tuesday. You were brought in with signs of exhaustion, borderline dehydration, alcohol poisoning, and were mumbling about being attacked. Wanna talk?"
"Last person who asked me to talk double crossed me. So, no, not yet." She turned towards the doctor, "Just make me stop barfing. Please."
"You have to trust someone, sometime." He wrote something on her chart and pointed it to the nurse. Then he unhooked the restraints.
"Trusting is not something I'm doing a lot right now." Sam slowly sat up on her bed.
"This is something called phenergan. It should help settle your stomach."
"I have trouble with pills."
"It's either a pill or a suppository. Your choice."
"You mean stick a… NO WAY. Can I chew the pill?"
"Might taste bad."
"I'll risk it." Sam picked up the small pill and managed to swallow it. "When can I get out of here?"
"It's going to be a while. Your friend, Spencer, had you committed on a 72 hour paper." The doctor continued. "That means for at least the next 2 days you're staying here. They were really worried about you. The young man, Frankie I think, wouldn't leave. He just sat in this chair all day watching you."
"Freddie. His name is Freddie." Sam looked at the empty chair. "Can I get something to eat?"
"I'll have the kitchen prepare a clear tray. Chicken broth, Jell-O, sprite. I called your mother and…"
"She's half the reason I'm here!" Sam tried to jump up; Melanie sat next to her for support. "I gotta get outta here. He'll find me, he'll take me back, he'll…" Sam was almost incoherent.
"She didn't answer." The doctor approached her, hands out and empty. "Spencer told me some of the story; my brother-in-law is a lawyer and he filed a temporary guardianship petition. Spencer is your guardian during your stay. We saw that your mom had turned over limited guardianship to him already."
"Too bad he can't take me full time."
"If you can prove your mom is unfit to parent, he could."
"Okay, I still don't trust you completely, but I'm starting to."
"Oh shit." This was the first time Sam ever heard Melanie curse. Maybe she was a Puckett.
"There you are! Samantha Marie Puckett, you know how much this hospital is costing me?" Sam's mother slurred. She was with an equally foul man. Neither smelled like they had bathed in days.
"You know how much this almost cost me?"
"Don't you sass you mama." The man snapped.
"I'm Samantha's doctor, If you do not stop disturbing my patient, I will ask you to leave."
"Can you give us some time?" The man asked the doctor. The doctor left, but headed for the desk to keep an eye on things.
"Leave me alone!" Sam yelled at the group. "I wanna talk to my sister."
"You mind leaving us alone?" Simon sat on the bed.
"We're outta beer and smokes. I'll meet you back at the house. Sam you be nice to him. He's the right man for you." Their mom physically pulled Melanie from the room.
"Like hell, I'll die before I let him touch me again."
"Lookie here, you ain't wearing no pants." Simon eyed her hospital gown. "I think we got off on bad terms before. You see, your mom owes us big time for the coke and other shit, she gave us you in payment. You're gonna do whatever I want, whenever I want it."
"Like hell, you're not gonna touch me again."
"I want any lip outta you, I'll pull my zipper down."
"I think the young lady asked you to leave."
"Who the hell are…you?" Simon turned around and was looking at Freddie's chest. The time in the weight room had been good to him.
Looking down at the smaller man, "I'm her boyfriend. There's the door." Freddie stepped to the side. "You can walk out," Freddie cracked his knuckles, "or I can throw you out."
"This ain't over yet." Simon slunk out of the room.
"Thank you Freddie." Sam wrapped him in a hug. "He …he was…" She was sobbing. "That's the … that... he…was…the one who…who…raped me!"
"As long as I'm here, he won't touch you again." Freddie just held her, letting her cry herself out. He felt his anger rising, that guy had hurt Sam.
"Freddie, he lives with my mom. When I get outta here, he'll be waiting." Sam sat down. "Now you know why I drank. Now you know why I wanted to die."
"Spencer is looking into what we can do to keep you out of her house." Freddie sat in the chair, wanting to let Sam have her space.
"What can he do?"
"There are a few options. He can try to get you a guardian, or emancipated." Freddie looked at the floor. "I did something."
"What."
"I called placed to the police about drug activity at your house."
"Why?" Sam was barely thinking. "There was shit in my room."
"No, there wasn't." Freddie grimed. "I snuck in your window and cleaned out your room before I called. Carly said you can stay at her place when you get out." Freddie pulled his chair up close. "Damn it Sam! Why the hell didn't you ever say anything to me or Carly?"
Sam couldn't look at him. "This is my problem, you and Carly don't need me dragging you down with me."
"No, Sam, we need you. I need you."
"Did you say 'I'?"
"Yeah, I told you 'I love you', not Carly. Sam, for all your crude, pain-dishing, foul-tempered behaviors; I love you Sam." He leaned in to hug her.
"I think you smell nice. Fredward." Sam returned the embrace. She never called him Fredward.
Freddie felt her shudder and hitch a little; then wetness on his shoulder. He never broke their embrace, as if they would loose that moment forever. "What's wrong Sam?"
"Just shut up and hold me." Sam squeaked out. She knew he would never hurt her.
"Whatever it takes Sam, we'll get you through it."
"Hey, ready for some good news?" Spencer broke in. Sam and Freddie separated.
"They invented bacon flavored Kool-aide?"
"No, although that would be cool. I got your case fast tracked through family courts. The hearing is going to be tomorrow. If we can prove your mom is unfit, we can either have a guardian appointed, I've already filed for that, or you could be emancipated."
"You really think I could handle being on my own?"
"Not yet. I want to go over some brochures with you."
"For what?"
"Treatment centers. Whatever happens tomorrow, Sam, you need to get sober."
"I'm just scared. All you guys are making plans for me, and I can't even keep water down. I'm so fucked up right now." Sam started to sob. "Why couldn't you let me go?"
"What kind of friends would we be then." Carly wrapped Sam up in a hug.
"Thank you Carly, Spencer, Freddie." Sam let out slow breath; "I don't feel so good."
"Trash can?" Melanie walked in and grabbed one.
"No, just really light-headed."
"May I come in?" A woman asked from the doorway. "I'm Dr. Amber Dane. I'm the Staff Psychologist.
"Sure, the more the merrier." Sam joked weakly.
"I just wanted to stop by and talk for a few minutes. Would you like me to come back later?"
"You're already here. This is my family." Sam pointed at the group. "This is my sister Melanie, BFF Carly, my guardian Spencer, and my boyfriend Freddie."
"Where are your parents?"
Carly looked at Sam and mouthed 'BOYFRIEND!' Sam just grinned.
"Dad's in prison, mom just left. That's part of why I'm here. Can I have that juice?" Sam pointed to the bottles Freddie had brought.
"Sure, apple or orange?" Carly held them up.
"Orange. More sugar."
"You said that your mom is part of your problems. Can you elaborate?"
"My mom's been drinking since dad got shipped. There's always been booze in the house. I started drinking…." Sam now wished she had sent her friends away.
"Samantha?" Melanie interrupted her thoughts.
"Sorry, …about three years ago. I started so that I could hang out with my mom, then I would go over to my friend's houses. I'd see the nice stuff they had, the families' I could only wish for." She saw Carly turn her head away. "No Carly, it's not your fault." Sam felt bad enough. "This is my fault. I'm the one who choose to drink."
"Wanna talk about yesterday?" Dr. Dane asked.
"Not really," Sam took a deep breath. "But I will. Last Thursday night…" Sam recounted the events leading to her current situation. By the end of the story, Sam felt better, but was near exhaustion, both physically and mentally.
"I think that you need to get out of that house." Dr. Dane stated. "It's not safe or healthy. I would also like to run a few tests, just to rule out any underlying mental health issues."
"Great, I'm a CRAZY drunk." Sam looked at the meal tray before her. "Why did you have the perfect genes and I got all the crap?"
Melanie shook her head, "Not genes, Adderall and Depakote. Been taking them for a while. I guess depression runs in our family."
"I never knew."
"I don't usually say anything. If she's like me, she's got impulse control and mild bipolar." Melanie told the doctor.
"Thank you. That'll give me somewhere to start."
"Doctor, I know you haven't really had much time with Sam, but I would like you in court tomorrow." Spencer looked respectable in his dockers and causal dress shirt.
"Criminal?"
"Family. I filed for custody of Sam. I am trying everything I can to get her out of that house."
"What time?"
"9 am."
"I'll be there."
"With the drug bust today, Sam, we've got a fighting chance." Spencer told the kids.
"Fighting's what I do best." For the first time that day, Sam smiled.
Carly pulled Sam's head around, "Then you fight like hell for your life. I never knew my mom, and if I have to bury my best friend; I will kick you ass as soon as I get to heaven."
"Like they'd ever let me in heaven."
The attending walked in and saw Spencer. "How's your wrist?"
"Good, thank you for asking. Who are you?"
"I was three days out of residency when you came rolling in to the ER. That's not something you forget." The doctor looked like he was in his later 30's.
"What's he talking about Spencer?" Carly looked puzzled. She knew he was a bit of a klutz, but he had never been hurt too badly. She saw Spencer rub his wrist.
"Carly, you know this scar, I always told you I hurt myself sculpting." Spencer pulled his sleeve down a little.
"Yeah, you're starting to scare me." She could feel her chest getting tight.
"Well, I killed myself. You were just a toddler when it happened. Me and Grandpa got into a really bad argument and I wasn't thinking…"
"You mean you tried to kill yourself?" Carly couldn't handle this now. Her mind was nearing shut down.
"No, he means dead. I was the one who stitched up his arm." The Doctor cleared up. "It took a while, but we saved his life."
"I don't know if I told you back then, but thank you." Spencer extended his hand.
"I'll do my part for your friend. You and Daniel do your part in court." The doctor left.
"Why didn't you… you ever… tell… me?" Carly was in tears and near hyperventilating. She stumbled towards the chair; "I need… sit." Freddie helped Carly to his chair.
"Carly, breath slower." Melanie gently rubbed her back. "Breath."
"I'm …I'm gonna… be..." Freddie handed her one of the trashcans and Melanie managed to get most of Carly's hair out of the way. After Carly was sick, she barely lifted her head and mumbled "I don't feel good." Freddie caught her as Carly slumped forward; she had passed out.
"She just needs time to sort this out." Freddie said, as he picked Carly up. He pulled something out of his pocket "Sam, this is a preprogrammed cell phone. Just push the button and it dials the number. I have my cell on '1', Spencer's on '2', the security desk on '3' and 911 on '9'. If anything happens while we're taking her home, call."
"I'll be okay. Take care of her." Sam looked at the bland meal again. "Hey Mel, you think you can get me some ham?"
Carly jerked awake. The remnants of the nightmare were drifting away as she got her bearings. She was in her bed, and night had fallen. Slowly she sat up and remembered the events of that afternoon. She stripped off her jeans and tee shirt and turned the shower on hot. She lathered her hair, wishing she could wash off her guilt about Sam as easily. When she was finished, Carly pulled on a tee she had swiped from Spencer and a pair of sweats. Quietly she walked down the stairs.
"Spencer?" She called out.
"Hi Carly. Spencer's down at the law office." Mrs. Benson walked out of the kitchen, holding a glass of water.
"No. Not again." Carly shook her head and started to panic; Mrs. Benson was in her apartment, Spencer was a lawyer. This was her nightmare again. She needed her inhaler; she needed Sam; she needed everything to be right. She felt her brain wanting to shut down again. She stumbled backwards towards Spencer's room.
"Carly!" Freddie yelled, as he got up from the kitchen table.
"In-haler." She pointed to Spencer's room. Freddie ran to get the inhaler. Mrs. Benson got her to the couch.
"Here." Freddie handed her the inhaler. Carly quickly used it.
"Just breath." Mrs. Benson said. "Give her that glass of water."
"Please tell me you and Spencer aren't married." Carly gasped out.
"No, we are not." She gave Carly a puzzled look; "What ever made you think that?"
Carly took a few deep breaths, "When Spencer burned down our Christmas tree, I yelled at him and wished he had been normal." Carly drained the glass in one gulp. "I had a nightmare. In it, you two were married. Thank you." She handed Freddie the glass.
"No, Spencer is just helping the Lawyers with Sam's hearing tomorrow. We were waiting for you to wake up so we could go back to the hospital. Hungry?"
"I'm out of it right now. How long was I asleep?"
"Few hours." Freddie pulled a Styrofoam cup from the freezer. "Try this."
Blueberry Blitz, Her favorite. She took a sip and started to cry. "I wanna wake up and this all be a bad dream! Why didn't Spencer tell me about his suicide before?"
"Carly, you're going vapor lock if you don't settle down." Freddie handed her a plate of pizza. "You and Sam can have adjoining rooms."
"Not funny." His mom scolded him. "Asthma is a serious medical condition."
"I haven't had an attack in years, but Spencer keeps refilling my prescription. Good thing, huh?" She looked at the slices of meat lovers, "How did we miss Sam getting this bad? We're supposed to be her best friends."
"She's good at hiding her problems." Freddie bit into his own slice.
She laid her head on Mrs. Benson's lap. "We can't ever go back to the way things were, can we?"
"No, we can't." Freddie stated. "If we go backwards now, Sam dies."
"All right, but I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Benson asked, stroking Carly's hair. "What's changed?"
"Sam's drinking and her depression and…" She was cut off
"The only thing that changed is that you know all this now. Sam wants to get better, but she can't do it alone. She needs you now, more than ever. Just treat her like Sam. When she's ready, she'll talk about this."
They sat on the couch for a while, then Mrs. Benson broke the silence. "Spencer never told you this, and I only know some of it because I was his neighbor. But a big part of his suicide was you."
"ME!" Carly sat up yelling.
"That came out wrong. Not you directly. You see, after your mom died, your dad dealt with her lose by shipping out for a long tour of duty. He had your Grandpa Malone watch you; I only met him once. He pretty much left Spencer to raise you." She paused, thinking back to that time, "Could you image what pressure he was under; just loosing his mom, his dad leaves for his tour, and he is now mom/dad/big brother."
"I never knew." Carly could barely speak.
"I would help when I could. I would watch you during the day when Spencer would be at school, but he would get you as soon as he got home. Then he would have to cook, clean, and everything else to make the house run. Plus his school work. Plus, your Grandpa would show up whenever and yell at Spencer for anything."
"Do you think that's why Spencer is so…Spencerish." Carly asked. "You think he hates
Me?" She broke down.
"Never. He hated the situation; he hated your dad and grandpa for not being there when he needed them. But you, he loves you."
Maybe, I'm the poisonous one. Carly thought.
