Hi, I'm not dead and I will finish this fic 8D
After the first time, they start fucking regularly. They do not discuss it or try to put a label on it. When every second dawn Red Hood waits for Nightwing in his flat for the feeding, they usually end up having sex if they're not too bruised or tired after the night.
Jason never stays afterwards. Usually when they wait for the afterglow to pass, Jason smokes a cigarette, Dick curses him not to do it ever again, says he needs to catch some hour or two of sleep. Then Jason leaves with the taste of the other man still on his tongue, whether it's Dick's seed, sweat or blood. It becomes some fucked up sort of routine. Their "relationship", or maybe more of an unspoken agreement, is based on needs - Jason's addiction to Dick's blood and mutual lust. Nothing more and nothing less to it.
Jason allows himself to entertain the idea it could become something more. Sometimes when he spends the mornings alone in his parody of a flat - more of a safehouse than a home - he likes to imagine their agreement becoming something more than mutual lust… He's been alone for years in every sense of the word, no one can blame him for enjoying the idea of changing that. But that's just a bittersweet dream, almost a masochistic way of spending his free time and distracting himself from the bloodlust growing within him with every hour. He may like to daydream a little, but he is a realist at the core. He is too aware of the fact how expendable he is. Dick may enjoy the sex, may desire him now, but he is going to want something better. He is going to finally realise his life is passing by while he's too busy with saving lives of others and he is going to want something more. Someone loving and normal. Not a murderous blood junkie that's also kind of his brother. Jason is used to being left by people he cares about but somehow he feels Dick abandoning him is going to hurt more than his parents or Bruce…. So he is going to enjoy this madness while it lasts. Every second of it.
He tries not to muse on it too much when he's with Dick but sometimes it just strikes him in the least appropriate moment. Like now, when his tongue is buried deep in Dick's ass and he is drawing out the most amazing sounds from the other man. Dick is choking on his own moans and even if Jason is only an expandable fuck buddy in his life, he is going to make sure Dick's never getting sex this good from anyone else.
"Ja-Jason, don't stop-" Dick manages to huff out between his obscene moans and Jason just hums in response which evokes a full body shiver from the other man. Dick comes soon after that with a shout that resembles Jason's name.
Jason reaches for the bottle of lubricant that's still lying on the bedside table where he left it two days ago and sloppily puts some on his painfully hard cock. He turns Dick around so he's laying on his back. The other man is breathing hard, his perfect body covered in a sheen of sweat. He still seems too high on his orgasm and Jason waits, though impatiently. But then Dick opens his eyes, takes in Jason's figure and sends him a dishevelled smile as he widens his legs invitingly. Fuck, he's beautiful.
Jason enters him slowly, relishing in how tight the other man feels. Dick groans loudly and his hands clench in fists around the sheet but when Jason fears it might be too much for his battered hole, Dick moves his hips to take him in deeper. Jason never expected Dick to be this in bed but he's so far from complaining.
"You're such a whore sometimes, Grayson," he mutters as he's finally fully in. Sonofabitch, this feels too good. "The Boy Wonder cannot get tired of taking it so eagerly. You probably won't even come, it's too soon, but you just like having a cock in you, don't you?"
"Shut up, Jason."
He always replies this way but Jason never misses the way his hips quiver whenever he starts talking this nonsense in bed.
Jason may try to be the best sex for Dick, though he will never know if he succeeded. What he knows is that when Dick dumps him, sex is going to be ruined for Jason. Nothing ever will be better than this.
And there it is again. Haunting him in the least appropriate moment.
Jason's eyes move to the mark his teeth left on Dick's neck. It feels like a little triumph to have that mark on the other man. It is going to fade but for now it gives him a twisted sense of satisfaction. He speeds up his thrusts and, without a warning, bites Dick's shoulder. Not as deep as he does when he feeds, but enough to leave a mark. Dick is going to kick his ass for it, but in this very moment the feeling is what pushes him over the edge and he comes.
ж
Usually Jason is the first one in Dick's flat - he just enjoys too much the annoyed face Dick makes when he realizes Red Hood broke in once again. If Dick comes back earlier for whatever reason, he usually waits on his couch, still in Nightwing's regalia as he claims that the feel of the outfit helps him stay awake. But then one morning Jason is later than usual, unfortunately caught up with some Two-Face goons, and when he enters the flat Dick is there, like expected, but not on his couch - he's on the bed in the other room, fully asleep in just his underwear and tangled in a fluffy blanket.
Jason spends a moment just looking at him, at the lines of his muscles in stasis. Dick is always so full of energy it seems almost odd to see him so still. Jason feels a fond smile tugging at his lips and swears quietly at himself. He's so gone for Dick. He always was, as a kid looking up to the first Boy Wonder and as a growing teenager confused about the way his body reacted around Dick. And now, after all that hell that happened in between, with them actually fucking, he's still just a boy with a crush, damn it all.
He's unable to find it in himself to wake Dick but also doesn't want to leave without his fix (of blood and of Dick) so he puts the helmet and his weapons on a coffee table and silently investigates the flat. He doesn't feel like going through drawers, it's not like he's looking for anything more than entertainment, so once again he focuses his attention on the shelves filled with books and dvds. After a few minutes, he also takes off his domino mask and the leather jacket, takes paperback titled Game of Thrones off the shelf and spreads himself on the couch in a comfortable position to read.
He actually gets engrossed into the story which he didn't expect. He immediately takes a liking to Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister and he's not going to analyse how his favourite characters are the family disappointments. He's actually so taken by the book that he doesn't hear when Dick wakes up and walks into the room.
"That's a sight I didn't think I'd ever witness," he says as a way of announcing himself. Jason looks up at him, startled. Dick is still just in his underwear, his hair ruffled by sleep, he's leaning in the doorway, staring at Jason with clear amusement.
"Didn't want to wake you," he admits.
"So you decided to rummage my shelves and lounge in my sitting room?" Dick raises his eyebrows and Jason tenses. He didn't really think this through enough to foresee that Dick would be mad at him for staying so long. Stupid. He should have assumed Dick wouldn't want him around if they are not fulfilling the blood deal or fucking.
"Sorry," he's already on his feet, reaching for the gear he left on the table. "I shouldn't have-" But then there's a hand on his shoulder and another one his wrist and when Jason moves his face towards Dick in confusion, the other man is looking at him weirdly.
"It's okay, Jaybird, really." Dick's hand guides his own to put the equipment back on the table and then he maneuvers Jason to sit back on the couch. "You still need your fix." Dick smiles as he straddles him and Jason finally relaxes. Dick leans his head to the side, showing off the expanse of his neck and Jason hums in appreciation as his lips move towards the olive skin. Dick shudders when Jason's teeth break skin and the divine taste of the blood never ceases to make him whimper. But this time there's no thrust of the hips or any other telling move from Dick that the feeding is turning into something more sexual - which lately happened more often than not. Only Dick wrapping his arms around Jason, still sleepily cuddly more than anything. Jason licks the bite after finishing and leans his head on Dick's shoulders, pretending only a bit that the delayed intake of blood made him dizzy. Then Dick's stomach rumbles loudly and Jason snorts.
"You're not the only one that's hungry," Dick mutters and untangles himself from around the other man. Once Dick off Jason's lap, Jason slowly starts to gather his gear.
"You know there's a tv show," Dick says out of the blue and Jason stops halfway with putting on his domino mask to look at the first Boy Wonder. Jason looks at him puzzled. "Game of Thrones," Dick nods at the abandoned paperback. "I barely started it myself but looks good. I have my day off so I was planning to binge watch something on netflix anyway so you're welcome to join me."
Jason blinks twice before the offer fully settles in his mind. Dick stretches lazily with his eyes on the younger man, expectant but patient.
"Yeah, sure," Jason says causally, once again putting all the equipment back on the coffee table.
"Great!" Dick grins and heads to the kitchen to fix himself something to eat. Jason sits back on the couch and takes off his shoes as well this time before settling comfortably. He's still flabbergasted why Dick would chose to spend his day off with him but well, with the life they lead, maybe Jason isn't the only one that gets lonely.
Dick comes back with a bowl of cereal and milk and without ceremony settles on the couch making a seat for himself between Jason's legs. He passes Jason the tv remote and then leans back, laying on Jason's chest. "Be a dear and put the first episode on."
It's one of the calmest days Jason had experienced since his resurrection. Probably one of the best, too.
When they have sex that evening, it's slow and emotive and Jason can't really call it "fucking" in his head. They're almost affectionate and Jason is really grateful for how mind-bogglingly good it was so he wasn't really in the state of mind to think about it deeper.
He's finishing his cigarette and gets ready to get up and be on his merry way, as it always goes, but tonight there's a hand on his chest, stopping him from sitting up.
"Dick?"
"Stay, Jaybird."
Jason swallows, his eyes staring at the hand on his chest. "I don't think I need to remind you we work nights?"
"Gotham is not going to fall down if two of us take a night off, god knows we have enough vigilantes running around. If there's an emergency, we'll know."
Jason almost says no and forces his way out because it just feels too good having Dick like that and it's going to hurt later when he's deprived of it. But despite all this, he's unable to find it in himself to say no. He settles back on the bed and Dick sprawls himself over him murmuring with content.
ж
Jason cannot breathe.
His hands are bleeding and aching but he can't stop digging now, he must be close but there are black spots dancing before his eyes and now he almost can't feel his arms and he needs to take a breath-
"Jay! Jason! Wake up, please…"
Jason opens his eyes and it's not to the insides of his grave but a regular ceiling and it's only then that he takes a deep breath. He's almost high from oxygen at first and it takes him a moment to realize where he is. Dick is next to him, staring at him with worry and he's visibly distressed… It's only his third night staying at Dick's place and he's already fucked up so royally. It's not like he can control his nightmares so he should have foreseen this but-
"Jay, are you alright?"
"Don't worry, Dickie-bird, it was just a dream-" he tries to sit up but he still feels a little lightheaded so he lays back down to Dick's visible relief.
"You… You were calling for Bruce."
Jason winces at the words. He remembers digging up from his own grave more from his nightmares than the actual time it happened but he knows he did call for Batman in that fucking coffin.
"It's not like he came back then and it's not like I need him now," he snaps before thinking it through and then curses at himself. It's not like he ever talks about what happened back then. Sure he likes to remind Bruce that he died whenever he can, but never truly talks about it. He reaches for his pack of cigarettes and only then sees that his hands are shaking. He puts one in his mouth but he cannot operate the lighter properly because of the damned shaking-
"It's okay," Dick says and takes the lighter from the other man's hands and lights up the cigarette in his mouth.
Dick hates it when Jason smokes.
Jason stares at him, like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to compose himself. Dick smiles, puts a hand in his hair to ruffle it and repeats "It's okay." Jason freezes and stays unmoving when Dick hugs him, his chest pressing close to the younger man's back. Jason stays still in the embrace without returning it, slowly smoking the cigarette and he's just so thankful that Dick chose this position and he doesn't see his face because he honestly doesn't know what the circus boy would see in it right now.
