Chapter 3

Present

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Inuyasha hopped off the stage when the performance was over, his hands gripping the guitar tightly as he ignored the raging crowds, pushing his way through them with a purpose while he kept his heated glare on the exit ahead of him.

"We still have two more songs to play!" Kouga shouted, standing up from behind his drum, palms turned upwards in confusion.

Miroku turned his attention to the DJ, silently begging him to continue until they were ready which he obliged almost instantly, informing the crowd that the band was taking a short break.

"What the fuck dude," Kouga hissed, turning from Inuyasha's retreating form to glare hotly at Miroku. "We were about to drop the new song!"

Sighing, Miroku moved from behind his instrument, turning to the side of the stage to go down where they had come up. As he passed Kouga he jerked his head in the direction near the entrance/exit. When they had first come in, his eyes had taken its gaze to the bar and spotted her instantly, but the way she was dressed, and the make-up soon dismissed he questioning glance. Besides there was no way she was into this sort of scene. In the past when they do go out to clubs a town over, he remembered how he and Kouga had to literally beg her to cave since most time Inuyasha either refused to go as well or he was a complete bore without her with him.

Kouga followed Miroku's direction, just in time to see Inuyasha push through the door angrily, just as a red figure followed closely, hot on his trail. "Is that…"

Miroku nodded solemnly.

"Oh shit, no wonder he played that way." Kouga commented, easing up from his seat to follow Miroku down. "He hasn't played that way since…" Letting his voice fall silent, he grinned lazily at the still screaming crowd, allowing them to touch and hug him briefly as they both made their way to the bar, giving their friend the privacy and time he needed to compose himself.

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Kagome burst through the door, seconds after Inuyasha, to be engulfed by the screaming crowd of persons who waited for the access to get into the club. She noticed that Inuyasha's band was very popular by the way random voices shouted his name, or the band name itself, despite her not knowing or hearing from them since she left . Granted that it was her choice to be socially dead, and also to simply ignore whatever the world had to offer, deciding to punish herself in a world of school, work and family when she can, Kagome still wish she had kept her ears open. Maybe if she had, then she would have been smart enough to not come to this club.

Then again, she wouldn't have been able to see Inuyasha again.

Turning her head left then right, she gave one last glance to her left, seeing him walk briskly down the opposite way she and Sango had walked. Mustering up the little courage she was sure was a fluke, she rushed forward in the direction, cursing the wedges as she side step cracks in the road.

A loud curse traveled towards her in Inuyasha voice when he stopped short near a black sleek van, kicking the tires in frustration while he placed the strap of his guitar over his head. She smiled softly at the aggravated look donning his features, so caught up in just drinking him up that she hadn't even noticed the grey storms eying her angrily.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Flinching, Kagome swallowed thickly.

What did she want exactly? 'Other than…' Shaking her head as she allowed her thought to fall silent, she licked her lips slowly. There wasn't a real reason for her coming out here, following him on the spur and for once Kagome wish she had a better plan. All she knew was that she hadn't seen or talked to him in so long and the dull ache in her chest had seemed to pulse unbearably to life at the sight of him.

"Your music is really nice," She tried with tested waters, smiling uneasily in his direction, with about five feet distancing them from each other. "I…I really liked it."

Snorting while he used his thumb to swipe away the sweat from his forehead, Inuyasha shifted his guitar with his free hand, so that his right shoulder blade could lean freely against the van. "I suppose I can deal with that," He narrowed his orbs heatedly, drawing attention to his piercings above his eyes. "I wrote it with you in mind." Smirking darkly at her, he allowed himself the privilege to fully take her in leisurely. He admired the neat, yet sophisticated sexuality oozing from her. Admired the way she stood, posed like an elegant statue even though he knew for a fact that she wanted nothing more than to hug herself, cocoon herself from whatever hurt she think she may or may not be exposed to.

"I can see you're really living your dream," She started once again, ignoring his last comment while willing her eyes to keep the water works locked. "And it hasn't even been that long since…"

"Huh?" He flicked an invisible lint off of his dark jeans, making his tattoo on the back of his hand come into view. "It seems like ages ago if you ask me," Pushing himself off of the van, he turned his back on her as he slid the back door of the van open, revealing a make-shift lounge and housing for their equipment. Inuyasha ignored her very existence, removing his guitar and then his shirt, leaving only his white vest on before turning back towards her. "Anyways, if you'll excuse me…"

Kagome caught a glimpse of what looked like wings pointing to his shoulders as well as the familiar intricate design tattoo, with the word 'trust' on his bicep. She absently wondered how many other tattoos are donning his skin since they last saw each other as her gaze admired the tribal design taking over almost all of his right hand.

"Do you really hate me that much that you can't even have a decent conversation with me?" Kagome's whisper drifted towards Inuyasha like a sick joke, and almost instantly, the anger he tried to subdue burst forth like a blazing fire. "We were friends before!" She huffed, desperation lacing in her voice. "I've tried to keep in contact with you but you're always so… busy and I don't know – just never up to talking to me." She sniffled as her voice broke. "I still hoped we'd stay friends."

"Friends?" He laughed dryly, his eyes opened in shock. "Do you honestly think that after that shit you pulled that I'd want to stay in contact with you?" Why would anyone want to stay friends honestly? "After what we had and what was…" Swallowing thickly he snarled at her. "After what's been lost, thanks to you – do you really think I could stand being friends with you?!"

"I just hoped –…"

"Would you want to be friends with yourself after what you did?" He snorted. "I honestly don't even know how you could even live with yourself to this day."

"That's harsh Yashie," She mumbled, her eyes shining with tears.

"And then you're talking about keeping up small talk? Now you want to chit-fucking-chat?" Incredulity seeped from each syllabus, while he grabbed his guitar, slamming the van's door in the same breath. "About what? The fucking weather?" Rolling his eyes, he seriously wondered how the hell she got into her first choice of university. "Why should you get to choose a topic and discard topics I'd love to talk on?" He snidely asked, a chuckle bubbling from his voice, although it didn't reach his eyes.

"Ya –…" Her nickname died down when she looked into his blazing gaze.

"When I wanted to talk about us – about what went wrong..." Walking in her direction, he felt a sense of satisfaction when she visibly shrunk back. "Pleaded with you to explain it to me, you refused – told me it was for the best…" When he reached her, a mere feet distancing them, his upper lip was slightly lifted into a disgusted scowl. "Well you know what –"

"Look, I get that you're mad Inuyasha!" She refused to allow him the honor of finishing another one of his hateful rant as she squared her shoulders, sniffling loudly. "I know what I did wasn't commendable, or the brightest idea ever to go about the right thing… But… But…" Giving a small frustrated cry, she rolled her eyes in desperation. "I still don't think it gives you the right to treat me like someone scorned!"

Snorting, he shook his head at her. "You don't get that I'm mad," He whispered, his temper controlled, though the look in his eyes told her anything but. "You don't even get me to begin with if you're here spouting some bullshit about the final decision being right." He shook his head once more, at a loss of who she was completely. "You're lucky that's how I treat you –if I gave you what you deserved, you'd literally be dead to me." Once ago Inuyasha didn't mind boasting about Kagome, about how smart she was for her age in general, but that night… or the couple of days that lead up to her decision… She was anything but the smart well rounded Kagome that he grew to love and hate all at once.

"It was inevitable," She whispered, her hands wringing together, something she did when she was nervous or troubled. "I was just smart enough to be done with it. Why prolong what was, and what is?"

"Oh my –…" Raising his head to the heavens, Inuyasha mumbled a short plea for calmness. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

His burst of anger made her jump in surprise. You'd think she would be used to the way he spoke when angry, especially tonight since that very emotion was what drove his words to her. Yet, having him this close, practically feeling his words rather than hearing them, Kagome couldn't help but wish the ground would swallow her up; at least then she would be safe from Inuyasha's wrath.

"We wouldn't have worked; everyone knew that… I just…I just –…"

"You were scared." He clarified. "We wouldn't have worked?" He laughed though it was clearly pained. "How many times did my little shadow persevere; made sure I noticed her until my notice became more than just glances and teasing?" Inuyasha inhaled deeply. In the past, Kagome followed him everywhere she could, quick to jump to their defenses when they were teased (mostly her) for her wishful thinking, never giving up or listening to how hopeless everyone said her crush was.

"I was young, stupid,"

"No," He murmured just as softly. "You were scared."

Lifting his hands to rest against her cheek, the zing that he was so use to in the past shot through him like a resurrection and he had to bite his lip from crumbling fully as he forced her to acknowledge him with her ocean gaze. This time he chose the moment to look at her, to really see her as she is now and what he saw was the same girl from all those months ago – the same scared girl who broke his heart, took everything from him yet asked for something as stupid as friendship.

Her gasped made her breathing stop momentarily as she looked into the windows that revealed so many emotions. What if she didn't allow her insecurities to flood her senses; ignored the taunting voices of those around her and listened only to the positive. Kagome sighed softly, allowing the thought of 'everything will work out for the best' and 'nothing can part us Kags, we're in this to the very end' as well as many more to consume her.

The dread about her being wrong choked her and the guilt for not doing exactly what Inuyasha's bicep tattoo said made her feel worse than shit. She remembered going to the tattoo parlor with him, two towns over to get it, and it was like she was remembering his reason for getting it. Everything was pointed at her – all the reasoning and spontaneous acts were all with her in mind.

She allowed her tears to fall freely as her stupidity finally consumed her whole.

"I wish I could…," She shuddered out before inhaling loudly, stopping her train of ridiculous thought. "I'm sorry."

Inuyasha refused to dwell on the first part of her apology, forcing his mind to halt the idiotic wishful things. At her final confession however, Inuyasha allowed his hand to fall from her, leaving a burning sensation in his palm. It was like something snapped inside of him and he cursed himself for even allowing a simple touch. Her words forced his anger to bubble even more. "You're not sorry," He snapped, though once again, his voice was even, controlled as he hissed out each word. "You've had a long time to make up your mind and with your decision – there was no room for any 'sorrys'." He brushed passed her, gripping his guitar as he walked on. "So do us both a favor and stop lying – it makes you look more pathetic than the mascara running down your face."

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"Hey, is um… Everything ok?" Kouga asked, though his attention was focused on anywhere but Inuyasha.

If there was one thing Inuyasha hated to talk about then it was anything that may in some way link back to the girl who broke his heart so casually without any given remorse. "We're singing the newest song," He growled, ignoring Kouga's concerned question as he took a water bottle, and down it so quickly, that it dampened his vest.

"We promised to reveal only one song dude and beside we haven't rehearsed much for it!" Kouga, ever the objective spoke up with a deep furrow of his brow. "Just because you saw Kaggie doesn't make it –…" His words tumbled back down his throat when Inuyasha's eyes settled on him.

"We're doing the song."

Calm, unaffected as if nothing had happened. As if seeing Kagome didn't push him back into the turbulences that came with the past. It was all so fresh, yet anything but new to Miroku as he silently observed his best friend. He knew he needed this, and even though Kouga couldn't see it – Miroku knew this was the best way for Inuyasha to cope… and he couldn't blame him for it, especially knowing that there are worst ways he could have chosen to cope. With a silent look of warning in Kouga's direction, he moved in place, shaking his head at Kouga's hushed curses. Even though they all grew up together and they were as close as any childhood friends, Inuyasha and Miroku was closer, and it was a fact that didn't go unnoticed and also didn't affect them. It just is what it is. Kouga knew that, and so when he was silently berated by Miroku – something that wasn't as foreign given their closeness – he caved, even if reluctant.

"Seeing that you guys have been so patient with us," Inuyasha's booming voice broke over the mix the DJ was playing, nodding gratefully when he stopped at Inuyasha's voice. "We've decided to reward you all with a new song I wrote last week."

When the crowd broke out with wild, excited shouts and screams, Inuyasha turned his head to the side, his eyes glowing as he looked from Miroku, to Kouga, a huge grin with his tongue peeking out teasingly at the crowd. Even with his current situation, no one can dispel Inuyasha for his love for singing, performing and simply music in general. This was his comfort, his drug… it was all him and he relish in it every moment he could.

"Now some guys may not get this song because let's face it… We all tend to fuck up more than the ladies at time," He shrugged, his grin still in place as his eyes scan over the shouts of agreement from the ladies. "And ladies… Well – you guys fuck up sometimes… and it stings, all the way to the heart." When the shouts of agreements and disagreement threatened to blow off the roof, Inuyasha's deep hypnotic laughter casted an enchanting sound around the club, feeding everyone's happiness.

"Careful Inu," Miroku spoke in his mike this time, a coy smile playing on his lips. "You may lose some hook up points tonight."

More laughter, as ladies denied Miroku his accusations.

"Anyways," Inuyasha started once more a small smile teasing his lips. "Some women just don't know when they have a good thing going for them." He eyes searched the club once more, and instantly, grey clashed with blue and his deadly smile turned into a dark smirk. "Some women prefer to break a heart rather than to cherish one," When Kagome hugged her body, turning to the same female beside her to say something in her ear, he saw Kagome shaking her head once more, taking a deep calming breath before looking back up at him, indifference masking her face.

But it never reached her eyes, and he broke out into a wide grin.

"I Love Her, But Fuck Her." He said, revealing the name of the song breathlessly as his eyes bore daggers into Kagome's.

Instantly, Inuyasha started strumming on his guitar lightly, his voice flowing hypnotically through the mike, forcing the frenzied crowd to go into hush hypnosis as they focus entirely on the band before them, on the singer as he poured all his raw emotions into the song. The added melody from Miroku caused an invisible caress upon the listeners as Kouga's soft drumming lulled them into a trance they refused to object to.

Lids fell closed over grey orbs as Inuyasha lost himself to the music, the words hitting him harder than he'd ever acknowledge outside of his performance. When Miroku and Kouga's voice filtered in with the chorus softly, Inuyasha's voice turned into a raw growl as he sang the angry part, pushing the guitar behind him as he stepped closer to the mike-stand, holding it closely as if it'll run away, as if it'll disappear like her.

Allowing his voice to grow in volume, Inuyasha went on to sing the chorus once more in union with his friends, their unique voice once again forming a perfect harmony when his eyes suddenly flashed open.

No one in the club spoke a word, as they sang their heart out. The females in the club's eyes held that glassy pain, as some selected men looked gloomy as they downed their drinks. There was no mistaking the thick fog that cloaked the once lively club, but no one hated it, no one wished to disperse it as they was once again rewarded with a glimpse of the rising Inuyasha and his band; granted a rare gift in seeing another side of this wonderfully amazing band. The hurt, the vulnerability in his gaze made all females wish to take them away, to nestle him from it all as his voice broke, became scratchy with raw hurt when the song led to its climax as Kouga and Miroku softly repeated 'I Love Her' and 'Fuck Her' when it was called for.

The spike in the drums died down to a haunting thumb while Inuyasha's guitar playing followed suit, though Miroku's playing continued on vibrantly, hauntingly.

At last, the song came to an end, the instruments echoed in the aftermath as Inuyasha once again looked upon Kagome. Her face was streaked with tears as she visible shuddered, so broken that her friend had to hug her, her glare settling on him. He ignored her though because he was sure that the ever secretive Kagome didn't tell her just how much she fucked up everything. With one final sweep over her form, Inuyasha eyed her once more, all the pain and hatred aimed at her. Suddenly everyone in the club dissipated, all the noises vanished as both of them stood there, alone in the club with his lips kissing the mike.

"Fuck You." He breathed, breaking eye contact after seeing her deep intake, as if slapped before turning and jump off of the stage, this time taking the side door that led to the bathroom where he can try and compose himself for the remainder of his performances.

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"I can't believe that asshole had the nerve…!" Sango screamed, walking angrily next to Kagome as she set the slow pace back to their college dorm section.

Silently, Kagome listened as Sango protected her, even though she had no idea what went down between her and the lead singer. She smiled softly when Sango hissed out a round of curses that would make a nun blush uncontrollably. It was sweet really, because this small act showed Kagome that Sango was willing to go in blindly and stand up for her – even though she didn't deserve it.

"Even if you guys didn't part on good terms that gave him no right to hurt you like he did tonight!" She fumed, pausing to catch her breath as she glared deadly at random strangers, forcing them to step a couple feet away from them.

Kagome giggled softly despite her feelings, rubbing the heel of her palm on her cheeks to wipe away at the silent tears that still fell, which only resulted in spreading the mascara.

"She laughs!" Sango threw her hands up in defeat. "If I was you I'd be doing anything but laughing." After a few moments of silence she added grumpily. "Or crying…"

Sighing, Kagome made a left turn, their university's tall buildings coming into few. "I laugh because you're funny and dramatic, and I love you," Smiling she glanced at her friend, but turned from her quickly when she saw the sadness in her gaze. "I cry because I hurt –…"

"Because the asshole –…"

"…And because it's the truth." She whispered so softly, it could have been mistaken for the wind.

Another one of Sango's amazing insults died down on her lips the moment Kagome's breezy declaration of guilt hit her. Silence once again engulfed them, the only noise being their shoes as they walked on, adding to the swishing of their movements. Brown spheres looked Kagome up and down, remembering how close they got and how down to earth, how innocent and shy Kagome was. She found it hard to believe that Kagome could be the type of girl Inuyasha had described in the last song or the previous one. It all seemed so foreign, as if it was a different person he spoke of altogether.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Offering a timid smile, Sango shrugged. "I'm sure I can find my coffee maker – we can even throw in a movie or something."

Kagome shook her head in the negative, her sigh echoing in the night as they neared the dorm building. "Not tonight Sango," She dismissed, fresh fat tears squeezing out from her closed windows.

Suddenly, Sango realized she only knew the Kagome that came to the university two years ago. She knew nothing in-depth about the Kagome from before, and she was suddenly questioning her closeness to her…suddenly questioning if they were actually the best friend she claimed they are or she felt they are. It was stupid really, but why wouldn't she talk to her? Kagome had to have known she wouldn't judge her – especially with the shit she told her she'd done back in her own home town.

"Don't do that," Kagome broke her from her dark trance. "Don't… I can't take it if I lose you to," Turning fully to Sango, she tried for a smile but it hurt too much. "You do know me, just not the part with Yashie." Taking a shuddering breath she paused to collect herself. "…I tried to run from it, but I can't… I realize that more than anything tonight."

Sango said nothing as she watched the emotions fighting to overtake Kagome. She noticed how much she struggled for words and she realize that the last thing she wanted was to force Kagome to reveal something she wasn't ready for. Sango felt stupid for her thoughts, stupid for doubting what they had.

"I'm sorry," She smiled, moving to envelope her into a tight hug. "You don't have to explain anything right away. I get it – you need time and I'll wait," Smiling silently, she gave her a final squeeze. "I'll wait."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kagome buried her face in the crook between Sango's neck and shoulder. Tears leaked out once more and she choked on a sob.

"Thank you Sango."