Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I've really appreciated your feedback and hope that I can get more of it! I'll confess, this has been the hardest chapter for me to write so far, so I hope that you like the job I did. If you didn't like this chapter, I'm sorry, and I'd appreciate it if you could give me some constructive criticism so that I can improve next time.

Enjoy!

The Horrible Truth

Robert parked his car a few blocks from Granny's. As he exited the vehicle, Robert saw from across the street what must have been the gaudiest yellow Beetle that he'd ever seen before. He couldn't help himself, and stopped to look at the car in question, a combination of confusion and disgust plastered on his face.

The tastes of people these days. How abysmal. Who chooses yellow for a car?

Trying to forget about the ugly vehicle, Robert picked up the pace as he swiftly made his way towards the diner-turned-in in hopes of taking care of business as fast as possible. It was a cold night, an assurance from nature itself that winter was on its way, and Robert's limp was starting to act up as a result of all the walking he did earlier.

Not to mention, I have a handsome husband to make my way home to. A husband who I may just be able to persuade to give me a foot rub once I get back with a little pout.

Robert grinned, now moving even faster. He couldn't wait to get home.

Arriving at the door of the inn, Robert was surprised to see a strange young woman there, trying to get Granny's attention. She had long blonde hair, sported a red leather jacket, and overall just had a very "outsider" feeling about her. Storybrooke was not a town notorious for its tourism, and Robert knew the town well enough to know that she was not a resident. The woman in question took no notice of Robert as he walked through the door, despite the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Now," Granny started, paying no mind to Robert as she excitedly started checking in her new guest. "What's the name?"

"Swan," the woman replied. "Emma Swan."

Robert froze in his tracks. He felt paralyzed, as if his mind left his body and was transferred to another world. Suddenly, an explosion of information and memories burst back into his brain.

He was the Dark One.

He was an all-powerful being, capable of feats of great magic that could be summoned at the tiniest of whims.

His was a master of making deals. People would travel between and across the realms in order to have access to his nearly boundless array of powers.

He fell in love with a beautiful woman by the name of Belle, who died before their love could truly bloom.

He had a son. And his name wasn't Oliver. It was Baelfire. He travelled to a land without magic on his own. And he might still be alive.

He spent at least three centuries tirelessly looking for a way back to that very son.

Most importantly, though:

The Dark Curse worked!

Robert's vision began to feel hyper clear, as if he just snapped back to reality after living his life in a dream. But, that's exactly what it was for Robert.

I…I'm not Robert Gold.

I'm Rumplestiltskin.

"Emma…," Rumple said, still feeling like he had just woken up from a coma. "What-what a lovely name."

"Thanks," Emma uncomfortably muttered.

Granny took out a roll of money, interrupting the two. "It's all here."

Rumple, not even bothering to count it, took the roll and nodded. "Yes, yes, of course it is dear. Thank you." Turning to face Emma, he smiled. "Enjoy your stay, Emma."

With that he stalked out of the inn as fast as he could. He saw Emma looking at him from the window as he walked the streets of Storybrooke, along with Granny who was presumably gossiping about him, but he could hardly find it within him to care.

He wasn't Robert Gold.

He was Rumplestiltskin.

The first thing that came into Rumple's mind as he aimlessly walked around the cursed town was how to evaluate this new world that his curse created. Looking back on it now, the land was so much more comfortable than the Enchanted Forest had ever been. Summer days were just minor inconveniences due to the presence of air conditioners and fans, and getting in contact with people could be done in seconds thanks to telephones. Cars made what would have been daylong journeys on foot take mere hours or even minutes.

Not a bad job, Regina. If this is the world we live in, I might enjoy staying here once I get my magic back and find Bae.

The next thing he thought about was how to carry on from here. Rumple knew it would take some time until the curse could be broken, and that he had to be patient and smart with how he conducted himself. He needed to be able to regularly interact with the Savior, as to observe her progress on breaking the curse. To do that, he needed to keep his Enchanted Forest identity quiet for the moment. The last thing he wanted was for the Savior to think he was crazy and flee from the scene every time he showed his face. No, a low profile was the best. Not to mention, if Regina, who Rumple presumed was still herself, knew that Rumple was curse-free, she might make his life a touch more challenging. Regina didn't know he wanted the curse broken, but the less Rumple had to do with her, the better.

Hmm…

Interesting that the Savior appeared so soon after Regina's son went missing.

The boy, Henry, was Regina's pride and joy. While he didn't know exactly how he and Emma Swan were related, the mere existence of a relation between the two was undeniable. It couldn't be a coincidence that a mere day after Henry appeared, the Savior, the first visitor Storybrooke's had in years, suddenly shows up.

Henry might end up being very important to her, as well as to Regina. That could also be good to keep in mind.

Before Rumple knew it, he had found himself standing before his car.

Feeling like he could use something to unwind after such an Earth-shattering discovery, Rumple drove the old automobilie over to the Rabbit Hole, Storybrooke's local bar. Thankfully, it wasn't late enough for the bar to start getting unruly, so Rumple was confident he could enjoy a couple of drinks undisturbed. Upon entering the bar, he took a seat on a stool in the corner of the bar, and ordered a brandy.

Despite the reemergence of over three hundred years of knowledge in his mind, Rumple found himself quite calm. He was sure that he would be able to get the Savior to break the curse and finally find his way back to his son. With a clear head and patience, Rumple knew anything could be accomplished.

A bit of harmless manipulation never hurt anyone either.

The next moment, from seemingly out of nowhere, Rumple felt the back of his shoulder tapped, and inwardly grimaced.

So much for being undisturbed.

Rumple turned around, surprised to see none other than Ruby Lucas standing before him. The girl was wearing a black leather jacket over a red shirt that was surprisingly tamer than half the clothes she wore while on duty at the diner, as well as her usually vibrant shade of red lipstick.

Who was she again? Ah yes, Little Red, whose womanly beauty and courage are only matched by her were-wolfish ferocity and blood thirst.

"Hey, Mr. Gold," Ruby awkwardly greeted.

"Hello, Miss Lucas," he replied, succeeding in hiding his surprise.

An awkward silence ensued between the two. Rumple was about to ask what brought her over to his table when the girl interceded.

"I just wanted to say thanks for not bothering Granny during the lunch rush." Ruby finally blurted out. "She was really stressed out, and she's been feeling really tired lately, so I think one less problem really helped her out. You could've made her day a living hell, but you didn't so yeah…thanks."

"It was nothing," Rumple smiled. In truth, Rumple had almost forgotten about his good deed for the Widow Lucas earlier. It wasn't much effort, and the end result led to Rumple getting back his memories earlier than he might've otherwise.

Perhaps I could stand to be a bit more accommodating to the Lucas family.

In addition, Rumple was taken aback by the genuineness in the young Lucas' voice. Despite her cursed persona acting like an unruly teenager, Ruby showed a lot of the maturity and courage of her true self by coming over to the most terrifying man in town, even if it was just to say thank you.

It looks like the curse is already starting to weaken.

"I'll do my best in the future to avoid the lunch rush then. I hope that your grandmother stays in good health. Now, go off and have fun. No reason a nice young girl like yourself needs to hang around an old man like me on such a lovely evening."

Ruby smiled.

"Then in that case, I'm off. Tell Miles I said hi," the young girl hollered before moving both her body as well as her attention to a man on the opposite side of the bar.

For all of a second, Rumplestiltskin froze.

Miles.

My husband. Miles.

How could I forget about Miles, out of everyone in this town?

Who…who is he?

Rumple thought of his husband, from his bright blue eyes, to his soft black hair, to his impeccable smile to his one… hand…

Miles is Hook.

As realization finally dawned upon Rumple, he felt his hands trembling. He grabbed his cane so tightly, his knuckles looked like they were bleached white, the other hand bruising his knee from the sheer force of his grip.

I am MARRIED to Captain Hook.

Another painful blast of knowledge pulsed through Rumple's head.

He remembered kisses, many of which he initiated, cuddling on cold nights whilst sleeping or watching television, sweet words whispered in each of their ears, dates and dinners shared in comfortable privacy, and some of their more… intimate moments together.

Rumple took another, much larger swig of his brandy, and signaled at the bartender for another.

How could this have happened?

Regina.

No wonder she always looked so happy when she saw us together.

She planned this. That snake slithered her way around my rules.

How clever she must think she is!

Oh, when this is all over, she'll pay.

Rumple glared into his refilled drink. What was he going to do now? If he were to lay low, he would still have to act normally around Hook as well. And that meant playing "happy couple."

He looked down at his left hand, a golden band on his finger staring back at him.

Rumple shuddered. Just the thought of spending any time even pretending to enjoy Hook's presence was his perfect definition of a fate worse than death. They would have to wake up together, eat meals together, and spend the majority of their free time together, all while he smiled and acted like nothing in the world was wrong while secretly wanting to impale the pirate upon his cane and use it as a golf ball. And then came everything else: holding hands, cuddling, kissing…

No. I can't do it. It's too much for me.

Suddenly, the small sliver in his mind that passed for bravery spoke up.

This isn't for you!

It's for BAE! Did you simply forget the whole reason you've come all this way? The reason you spent decades grooming a Queen to cast a curse? And you're just going to give up so close to your goal?

You ARE a coward!

Rumple sighed. He knew that he couldn't back out now, not unless he wanted nearly thirty years of his life to be for naught and to risk missing out on finding his son forever. He would have to summon up strength that he never knew he had before and pretend that he could not only stomach Hook's "affection," but also pretend to enjoy and return it.

Facing Regina, the Queens of Darkness, the Chernabog, and even Cora have nothing on this.

But I can do it.

I have to do it.

Rumple looked at his watch, crinkling his face as he remembered its origins.

An anniversary present from "my dearie."

He'd been out for about two hours. He knew that if he didn't go home soon, Hook would start to worry, and his low profile wouldn't be so "low." So, he waited about half an hour to allow at least some of the brandy to leave his system before driving home, anything but eager to greet the cursed pirate.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Just as Rumple feared, as he opened the door, there was a smile and a kiss waiting for him.

Unable to think of an excuse out of it, Rumple could only brace himself as Hooks' lips pressed against his.

No. He's not Hook. He's Miles until this horrible, dreadful, sickening curse is broken.

Rumple believed that the only thing stopping him from vomiting out of disgust was the knowledge that he had been doing this every day for nearly thirty years now.

Remind me to get a date with a bottle of mouthwash after this.

After mercifully ending the kiss, "Miles" asked, "you get everything sorted out at Granny's? You were out for quite some time. It's nearly eleven. And… were you drinking?" Miles sniffed his nose at Rumple's shoulder. "You smell like the Rabbit Hole just threw up on you."

"I… was just in the mood for a brandy while I was out," Rumple stiffly replied. "And yes, my business at Granny's was settled. I'm sorry I was out for so long. Turns out, Storybrooke has a new visitor."

Rumple gulped, fear only leaving as an idea entered his head.

Maybe, just maybe, I can end this nightmare before it truly begins.

"Her name is Emma Swan," he stated, more confidence in his voice.

Without hesitation, Miles smiled.

"That's nice," he said, his eyes still lovingly focused on his husband. "You'll have to introduce me to her sometime."

Or not. Damn it.

"I think it's time we get some sleep," Miles said, slipping his right arm across Rumple's upper back, pulling him in closer, oblivious to the wince that left the latter's mouth, concealed only by a smile as fragile as glass, as he did so. "Tomorrow's a new day, and I've a feeling we should be ready for anything." With that, he started leading them up the stairs towards their bedroom.

Rumple, a man who believed in very few deities higher than him, found himself praying to whatever force that could possibly be listening that the curse was broken as quickly as possible, dreading whatever time he would have to spend with his "husband."

Thanks for reading! Please review, and have a fantastic day/night!