Warning: Turtlecest (Raph x Don), AU, mpreg, OC, a lot of typos and mistakes as this is a RP and I mostly do it on mobile, violence because war experiences, death, gayness, bad language, tragic stuff, muns being SO RANDOM.
Don is surprised as Rigel pointed his presence, it will definitely freak his husband out. But is glad that Raph just shrugged it off, yet he is a little sad, that Raph is not interested to spirits, also, he doesn't want to show to him yet. He thought Rigel had an imaginary friend or something, as kids tend to have a lot of imagination as their brains are still developing. He blushed at Raph's answer that he still loves him. Yet, he can see the hurt on his face.
When Raph closed the door, he saw his baby pouting, he had to make Rigel understand.
"Baby," Don hovered beside his son. "Papa had been through a lot. Please understand him, he... He needed to heal because he lost someone he cared for. And... He doesn't have the same ability as yours... He can't see me." Don explained, as Rigel pondered then stared at him.
"Papa is sad, Mama... Why won't you talk to him?" he asked.
Donnie looked away, he had to give all the responsibility to him, also he left him abruptly, also he broke his promise. He had many sins to him.
"... I'm not ready yet, baby."
As Don got through the wall (he quite enjoys that), he saw a lot of bottles laying around the kitchen, as Raph took a swig, seemed that he wanted to forget about everything. Don can't bear to see his love this miserable, as he cant help but hug him behind while his invisible form lets out tears.
Raph downed yet another bottle and tossed it uncaringly to the floor while he held his head in his hands. He missed donnie so god damn much even after all this time. He got a cold chill and he growled and rubbed his eye before anything else could leak from it, "W-What the fuck." He snarled pathetically as he tried to get up and move away from the random cold spot, even with his jacket it soaked into his skin, right down to his bones. He had been getting these a lot and he was seriously thinking he was going crazy because rigel never said he was cold. But he gave up trying to move seeing as the alcohol was clouding his system and his body wouldnt move when he wanted. "Fuck Donnie- Why didn' ya tell me..." He growled softly to himself.
Donnie jerked away when Raph is trying to move away from his grasp. The more Don interacts with his living husband, the more distant and conscious he seemed. He knew Raph felt cold by his touches and not the warmness he used to share with him.
"I'm sorry, Raphie..." Don muttered as more tears are flowing down his cheeks. "I'm sorry I left you... I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything..." He hiccuped. "I know you hated me for it, Raph." He said, but is confused when Raph just stared widely AT HIS EYES, like he is SEEING him. It seemed that extreme emotions caused his energy to fluctuate, thus showing himself without control.
Before anything get in Raph's head, Don disappeared again, hoping that all Raph saw is just his imagination.
Raph's single eye stared disbelievingly of what he just saw, DONNIE. He felt something in his chest snap and he shook his head violently and squeezed it tightly between his hands. he was losing it, losing his sanity and his mind. Raph choked on his own breath and tried to growl to cover up the pain in his chest. Fuck this. He quickly knocked over his chair and managed to get to his bedroom before slamming the door shut, only to wince remembering rigel was sleeping and he threw himself on his bed. He saw Donnie, he was never going to get over this… What was he going to do? He swore on his missing eye he saw his Donnie boy- and it had been 5 long torturous years.
Donnie saw Raph's violent actions, such as slamming the door and moving the chair away. He sobbed, as he is driving his family in spiraling doom.
He wished for help.
He really did.
He returned to Rigel's room and thank goodness, his baby boy is deep asleep, not hearing anything. That tiny whistle coming out from his bucktooth definitely came from his genes. "Baby..." He hovered closer and peck his forehead. "Baby, I want Papa and you to be happy. I can't rest in peace until you two are..."
Apparently, that wished sort of came.
April came in for a visit to the Raphael household. She told Raph she would come by so she can teach him different dishes (as eating pancakes in their whole lives will drive anyone crazy). Rigel, as usual, greeted his "Aunt" and helped her to cook. Yet, she seemed to notice a presence lingering their home. Her eyes widened by what she saw then a little hand holds her shirt to stop her.
"I know it, too, Auntie." He spoke softly, so his father will not hear him.
Raph had finally put himself together after last night after a hot shower, and some deep breathing. Now full clothed he came out to join April who was visiting to teach him other things to cook that microwaveable dinners and pancakes. "Yo, sorry couldn' find mah patch," Gesturing to his eye patch not noticing the little moment April and Eigel just had. "Whatcha makin?"
The woman quickly pushed her thoughts away for a second, "Oh its beef stew, take a bit longer because of the meat but its delicious." She hummed and helped Rigel sit on the counter so he could watch. "Hey Raph, you haven't noticed anything weird happening here have you?".
The question throw the big turtle off and narrowed his single eye slightly. "Whaddya mean bah weird?"
"... Nothing.." April pondered as she sat down in front of Raph. "Raph, have you experience cold sensation, a feeling that someone is watching you or something like that?" She asked seriously. It seemed that Raph had taken back.
She hummed when raph sort of reacted a little.
"Whatever it is, don't worry Raph..."
Raph didn't like where this is going and narrowed his eye. He didn't like the thought of something fucking watching him in the least, especially when he didn't know from where it was watching him from. His senses were heightened when he fought in the war, because you never knew when you would get attacked. "Ya sayin there's somthin fuckin lurkin in nah house." He asked but nearly growled. If something was haunting him fuck that! It made sense because sometimes stuff would randomly move.
Donnie looked down, a little ashamed yet upset. The two people who are aware just looked at him. "Don't cry..." Rigel said softly. His habit does it again, talking in nowhere.
"... Rigel..." April asked after absence of noises. "Have you seen your Mama in pictures?" she asked.
Rigel pondered. "Uhm... Papa keeps all of them... So I never saw him in pictures. But-" He answered.
"Alright then... Now, describe me the one you've been seeing right now." she continued. What are you getting at, April... Donnie wondered. Rigel stared at space for a minute. "He had the same skin as mine! He had a gap like mine too!" he answered, pointing to his diastema. "He seemed taller, Auntie..." He muttered.
Silence happened again, especially when Donnie saw the wide eyed husband.
Raph stared in shock at rigel, he did selfishly keep all the photos of donnie he had to himself, but he was planning on showing rigel of course he must have gotten into his pictures. "Ha ha funny yous guys." He snorted trying to play off the scene uncaringly but his gut was growing cold at the thought. This all had to be a joke, there was no way rigel was randomly figuring out what donnie looked like. He must have looked through all the old photos. "Stop messin wit me it aint funny,"
April looked to Rigel who looked hurt by his fathers words and stood. "No one is messing with you raph. If you won't take the hint fine. I think donnie is still here but as a ghost. and guess what? Rigel is able to see him." She lost her temper a bit but righted herself. "I don't know for sure but it makes sense." Raph only turned to her and refused to believe any of this. He didn't think ghosts and shit were real, but the thought of one sent him into denial road.
Rigel is crying when his Papa didn't believed him. "... Mama... Papa thinks I'm crazy..." He sniffled. Don hurriedly went to their little boy to cheer up, he is a little angry at raph, okay, very angry, that he didn't believe to their son.
And even to his best friend, April. "Sshhh... Baby, it's okay... Its okay... Papa is just tired..." He stared at his husband. He is so close in being a poltergeist, but he can't stand being angry as he loves Raph.
"Baby... Repeat what I say, alright?" Don said.
April just watched Rigel stopped sniffling. "... Raphael... Remember how we first met," Rigel said after Donnie spoke. Slowly for the little boy to process.
"Mikey invited me to a match. you were a famous boxer then. I told you that boxing is only knocking brains out. After a few weeks we started dating... Our first date is in a bar after the whole motorcycle shenanigan..." Rigel said, even though a little slurry as he is still learning new words. "When we are engaged, you signed up to the war. I comforted you and exchanged letters with you... Then we got married, that was after you lost your eye... I wished to travel the world with you in a year, so we earned money... Until..." He stopped as Don is on the verge of crying.
Like a punch to the chest Raph had to use the counter to support himself, how could Rigel possibly know that? "How do ya know that...?" He breathed out in shock and thought he saw a flicker of something near Rigel and his heart stopped. "... Donnie?" He choked lightly but was able to hold back anything more than the choke in his voice. "He's..." Swallowing thickly for what he was about to say "He's here?" Rigel sniffled and sobbed softly rubbing his eyes "Y-yes Papa- He's always been here. He h-helped me read and stuff."
Don looked at his husband, who is very surprised. "I've always been here, Raphie... I never left you. I tried my best to help you raise our child. You were never alone, Raphie... As I love you too much. I'm really sorry I had to leave you..." Don spoke but April is the one who is saying his message. "I was going to keep this secret from you but it seemed I interacted too much, as if I'm still alive..." Don continued. Rigel went beside his Papa and hug his leg to make him feel better.
Raph was in shock as April apparently spoke what donnie was telling him, he almost missed Rigel on his leg. But he slowly kneeled down to hoist him up to hug the little stinker tight, because Donnie wasn't there for him to do so. "It explains everythin." He mumbled into Rigel's clothes to himself. "Why wounldn' ya tell me?!" He suddenly sounded angry but it was because of his shock and his longing to have Donnie by his side again. "Ya coulda just'- jus' stayed wit me then." He set Rigel down to sit on the table. But he suddenly remembered a horrible paranormal movie "... Donnie why ya here? Aint ya supposed ta I dunno go?" That sounded bad but… Donnie was gone, at least his body. His spirit should be free, why was he here?
"Papa... Mama is crying..." Rigel said with a sad look on his face. Donnie tried to keep his powers on check as he doesn't want to fluctuate his energy and show himself again.
"I'm sorry..." Don said. "I... I can't move on..." He said, as April is relaying the message to his husband. That's all he wanted to say as he doesn't want to force Raph to do everything again. All he wanted is for Raph and Rigel to have a happy life, so he can pass on. He wanted Raph to not blame himself by what happened. But Don can't say his problem because he had done enough problems to his husband.
"Raph... That's all Don had said." April said as Don disappeared. "Here's not here in this room anymore. Guess you have to find out why is he still here."
"... Mama... Mama always tells me he loves Papa so much." Rigel spoke, while still clutching to Raph's shirt.
Raph had to sit down at all this information, he had been trying so hard to push Donnie from his mind for his own sake. But it never really worked, and now to learn Don was still around-. Shaking his head when April said those words was like a stake in the heart. "The hell can't he move on!?" He growled to himself. Half of him wanted to let Donnie go- He was dead. But now knowing his mate was floating around he wanted to be selfish and keep him around until he died. He pulled Rigel close again to prevent him from seeing the pained expression on his face. "He does...?" He whispered lowly. Donnie still loved him even after everything, just like he love Don. "I still love 'im too Ri...Can- can ya tell 'im dat fer me?" If Rigel saw him more than he could use his kid like a little messenger.
He felt Rigel sniffle himself and nod his head into his father's shoulder before snuggling close to hug his Papa tight as he could. "Mmhh," he answered.
Donnie cried his eyes out in their attic. He can't move on because of his family. As much as he wanted to stay yet he knew Raph will do a way so he can be in peace even though both of them wanted each other.
Downstairs Don heard Rigel speaking. "Mama... Papa said he loves you very much and he wanted to see you." He sniffled a little. Don slowly went through the ceiling to meet his baby and hovered beside him. "Did Papa did say that?" Don asked, as he wipe his son's tears away and pat his head. "... I can't show to him, baby... I can't."
"Why is that, Mama?" the little boy asked.
"I... I've done many things to your Papa... I left your Papa without saying goodbye..." He said with shame and sadness. "It's seems to be your our messenger now, baby..." Don said, smiling again. "Did you know the word angel means messenger? So you're our angel, baby..."
His husband went in the room as Don sees him staring at Rigel, who is staring at him but seemed to be blank space instead.
After he got april to leave to sink all this in, his dead mate was still lurking around and he didn't know why… But another side of him didn't want donnie to leave, and he felt selfish for saying it. "..." Staring at Rigel in confusion having heard him talking and staring at nothing now. He didn't acknowledge it now knowing Rigel could see Donnie. "But can't you at least do it once?" Rigel asked sadly rubbing his eyes as his father sat awkwardly on the couch as Rigel talked. "Papa, Mama said he can't." He suddenly sniffed and went waddling to his daddy who picked him up unconsciously. but Raph was still in a half daze, Donnie must be in the room now if Rigel had been talking. "I love ya Donnie," he just said like a robot, hugging Rigel tight when he started to sob again, it was then that he snapped out of it and rocked his kid slightly, cooing for him to quiet down.
Donnie stared at the two living love ones, his tears come down but his energy is stable. Raph is miserable because of him, as much as he doesn't want to die years back... Yet, it's already done. Raph can't move on, Rigel is sad as his family is broken, Don can't pass on...
"Mama... If Papa is happy, are you going to be happy?" Rigel asked as he looked around and stared at the space where Raph and Rigel's pictures are there. "Yes, baby... I will be." Don answered. "Papa! Mama said that if you're happy, he will be happy." Rigel spoke. "Maybe Mama will show up to you if you're happy."
Raph's brows furrowed, how the hell was he supposed to be happy with Donnie's death on his mind every minute of every day? How 'm I supposed ta get happy then? S'not like I got much ta be happy about anymore squirt." Unsure if he was trying to talk to Don or Rigel. "Sides ya, yer da only thing keepin me goin Ri." Sighing lightly to himself. Rubbing his kids shell absentmindedly watching his face scrunch up in confusion. "What do you mean Daddy?" Raph quickly shook his head. "Aye dun worry bout it. I'll try kay?" He soothed and glanced around the room for any sign of his Donnie only to find nothing.
It left Rigel thinking, what would make his Papa happy?... He waddled around and apparently a show is on, about a guy and a girl together. Papa said he is sad because he lost Mama... Ding!
"Mama!" Rigel waddled to the spirit standing near him. "Mama, will Papa be happy if he is with others?"
Don got confused but he understood shortly what Rigel meant. As much as he loves Raph, he is dead already. Like the saying, 'till death do us part'. As much as it pains him, "That's a great idea baby!"
That night, Raph is tucking Rigel in bed. "Papa, I asked Aunt April! She said she knows someone that you can... Date!" Rigel said in glee after almost forgotten the word.
Raph blinked in surprise at Rigel's words and pulled away slightly "Uuuhh, Ri I dun wanna go datin anyone" awkwardly rubbing his neck "i just aint interested, and aye what are ya doin asking April about that?" He scowled down at his kid watching him pout then giggle. "But Mama said you would be happy!" Raph froze..."... Donnie said that..?" Mumbling softly feeling like he had been punched in the chest. "Ferget about it key? I ain't interested in seein other people, yer mas da only one for me squirt." Giving Rigel a noogie before leaving.
Rigel just pouted that his daddy doesn't want it. Now how he will make his Papa happy?
"Mama... He doesn't want to." Rigel said, Donnie hovered beside him and hugged him. Don is happy the fact that Raph still loved him, as he is to him.
Don stopped when Rigel started to cough, it a hoarse cough, he wheezed and stared at the little hands.
Blood.
"Rigel! Baby?!" Don screamed yet his son passed out. "Raph! Raph!" Don screamed but he remembered he hid himself. He went to wall to wall to find his husband on their room.
Raph had just got to his room and was changing into some more comfortable clothing consisting of an old t-shirt and some sleep pants. He got a massive cold chill and could guess he was being watched, well now that explains why it always felt colder in here when he tried to go to bed. With Rigel's room down the hall Raph was unable to hear his child's violent coughs as he now laid unconscious on his blankets and pillows. "I dun know what ta think anymore." he talked to himself, now he realized he had been doing that a lot lately… Damn it.
Don panicked rushing towards Raph. No matter how much he doesn't want to show up to him, Rigel is in trouble, he had to compromise.
He touched him yet Raph only shivered. He tried shouting but no avail.
Fuck it, for the sake of their baby.
He smacked Raph's arm, causing the husband to get shock at the cold.
And he showed himself to him, not a flicker or a lingering presence but a full form in front of Raph.
He mouthed out "Rigel's in trouble!"
Raph's mind just snapped into tiny pieces when he tried to get into bed only to see a full form of Donnie right in front of him. And he froze staring and rubbed his good eye like this was a joke. "... Donnie...?" His voice full of shock, reaching out to touch only for his hand to go right through. "What...?" He was totally unsure what to do but Don was obviously trying to tell him something, watching again noticed the Rigel's name and his heart jumped and in seconds was in the squirts room.
"Ri! Rigel wake up!" He shout noticing the blood, he quickly scooped him up in his blanket to keep him warm and got to the hospital as fast as he could-pjs and all. "I need help!" Yelling for just someones help and in no time Rigel was hooked up in bed, ivs in his arms and Raph at the bedside. Oh god he didn't want to see his kid in that bed…
The doctor diagnosed Rigel and said he had inherited the same illness his wife had. Don started to cry, learning that his precious baby got his curse, his sickness. hH put such burden to his husband again.
Because of being so worried, his energy fluctuate frequently. For the mean time, he is showing himself to Raph. They are beside Rigel's bed, hoping that their son will be safe. He felt so bad to his baby, a lot of tubes stuck to Rigel.
Don cant stop crying, especially seeing Raph's world slowly crashing down when the doctor said Rigel's life is 50/50.
Raph's head was in his hands by the time the doctor came in to tell him the news. His entire world just stopped hearing Rigel only had a 50/50 shot in living. He could see Donnie's ghostly form on the other side of their sleeping kid and he lost it. His brain was already on the brink of crazy and this was the last straw. He pressed his hands hard into his remaining eye "N-No. Fuck no ya cant die." He growled more to himself but meaning Rigel "I'm supposed ta be in that god damn bed, not you." Hissing when his throat burned from his held back tears "Ya can't leave me Ri, yer dah only thing keepin me goin, yer dah only thing keepin me alive." He admitted harshly, if he lost Rigel just like Donnie; he wouldn't be able to stay on earth anymore. And it made it even worse he could see Donnie's form sobbing and he couldn't even reach out to touch him and comfort him thousands of times before.
After an hour, the little boy is able to rouse yet very weakly.
"Papa..." he spoke softly. Raph quickly aided his son. "Papa... Why Papa is sad? Smile for me, Papa... I want to see Papa smile..." Rigel requested. Don just stared and shocked that in his eyes, Rigel is slowly fading.
His son is dying.
His tears flow down more as he said ,"Rigel don't leave your Papa. Your Papa needs you."
"Papa... Please."
Raph lost it completely seeing Rigel actually wake and beg him to smile, he rubbed his leaking eyes, and sat unsure what to do but hold Rigel close while he could. He could feel it… Rigel wasn't going to make it. He choked and he held the sheets tight, he was losing another person he loved to the same god damn sickness. How the cruel was fate? They were all he had. The corners of his lips curling upward in an effort to so as his baby asked but it failed and a harsh inhale interrupted. But he was finally to make a small smile without the ends quivering and falling back into a frown. "Dun go Ri." he whispered desperately.
"Papa... Mama and I want Papa to be happy..." Rigel said, felt a lot of pain in his lungs, but trying to restrain it. "I love you Papa..." Rigel said, the machine is beeping loudly, indicating Rigel's health is in danger. Don screamed "No!" as Rigel's is fading away.
Then all is a blur, Raph shouting and crying, doctor and nurses going in to aid their dying son.
"N-No! Rigel don't!" He shouted when the monitors beeped faster and louder. It went so fast, the doctors had to literally drag Raph out of the room to do their job and Raph's sight was blurred by his fucking tears, he didn't even realize he punched a hole in the wall until his fist started to throb and he collapsed in a near by chair clutching his head and wincing at every shout and cry from a doctor just on the other side of the wall. No! NONONONONO! He already lost the fucking love of his life, he can't lose his kid too. It was too much, too fucking soon. If Rigel dies he won't have a reason to be here anymore. "Ya can't fuckin leave me." He hissed under his breath meaning Rigel. "D-Donnie's already gone ya can't leave me." He choked baring his teeth hard to try and prevent anymore tears.
Don went through the wall, he doesn't want to see his baby lost his life. His eyes leaked so many tears, he kept saying to stay with Raph, as Rigel had no place to die yet. He floated besides the devastated husband, he can't even control his emotions to hide as he only wanted his baby to be safe. Both of them didn't talk, as Raph is too tired to do so and if Don talk, Raph will not hear him. He vowed he will show and finally talk with Raph once Rigel is okay.
After a few agonizing hours, the doctor came out. The parents stood up quickly and demanded answers.
"Rest assured, Mr. Hamato, your son is stable right now and resting well." Upon hearing that, Don is crying happy tears, their baby is safe. He went through the wall to check the little marshmallow and there he is, sleeping and breathing. Rigel had so much to see when he grows up, like his dream in becoming an astronomer. He is caressing his baby when Raph rushed inside.
Raph barreled into the room once he was allowed to once again, heart in his throat sat down nearly silently afraid that any movement would send Rigel into another fit. He had been able to see Donnie this entire time and it was only making his heart throb in pain imagining Rigel right at Donnie's side as a ghost.
"F-fuck dun do that Ri." He scolded reaching for rigels tiny hand. "Yer scarin me kid." He held himself steady in voice so Rigel wouldn't hear or see his daddy weak and crying.
Don witnessed his husband never left their son's side. He is worried that he barely eat and sleep, waiting for his baby to wake up.
After 2 days, cute yellow eyes opened. "... Papa?" He weakly asked. "Oh Rigel baby..." Don said in big relief, his baby is very alive. He sees raph waking up quickly and aiding his kid. Don giggled as it's cute seeing his husband being overprotective, if he learned about his illness he would be one to him.
"Yer alright." Raph breathed after helping the little turtle up and hugged him close then he finally was sure Rigel wasn't going to crack under his fingertips. He wasn't never going to let Rigel out of his sight again, he quickly wrapped his arms around the other turtle as if protecting him from the world. "Dun evah do dat ta me again ya hear?" He scolded even when relief coated his tone.
Rigel hugged his daddy the best he could since he was still tired, resting his head on his Papa's shoulder. "I didn't mean to..." He whined clutching hold of his father's old jacket. "Papa? Mama looks sad."
"Don't worry about Mama, baby... I'm just glad you're alright." Don said. The spirit smiled at the cute display of Raph's protection to their little bundle. He frowned when Raph sort of accused Rigel. "He didn't meant to get sick, Raph." He frowned, then looked confused when Raph is staring at him, its like he can finally hear him.
And it seemed he did.
Raph blinked in confusion for what was the hundredth time today… Was… Was that Donnie's voice? "Don?" Feeling uncertain this whole time. He honestly thought he was going crazy, I mean who gets to see and hear their dead mate? "Ya could talk ta me… And let me see ya but cha didn't'?" Now he felt hurt, holding Rigel a little tighter.
Don looked away from the emotion of hurt of his husband. "I vowed to finally show and talk to you if Rigel is safe." He spoke softly. "And so... Hello, Raphie.." He greeted. 5 years after his death, he finally came face to face with Raphael.
