A/N: Well, I got this chapter done rather quickly. Let's hope I get the next one done just as quckly. I'm not quite sure exactly how long this is going to end up, but it'll probably only have a few more chapters... maybe. Anyway, enjoy and please R&R.

Disclaimer: I don't own House or Doctor Who.

3: Of Tumors and a TARDIS

"Well?" House asked as Chase and Martha stepped in.

"He doesn't have Dextrocardia with Situs Inversus," Martha said. House shot her a glare before returning his attention to Chase.

"Keep her reigns short," he said, nodding at Martha. "And why are you blushing?"

"I'm not blushing," Chase replied, sitting down quickly and busying himself with an unfinished crossword puzzle that he had left on the table.

"You're lying," House said as he crossed Dextrocardia with Situs Inversus off of the diagnosis list.

"According to you, everybody lies," Chase responded shortly.

"And you just don't want to be the exception to the rule?" House asked, feigning astonishment. Chase sighed but did not answer. Martha held a hand over her mouth, trying to keep herself from bursting into laughter. The door opened and Cameron and Foreman entered. Foreman kept glancing at Cameron as though she were about to explode and he sat down as far away from her as he could.

"He lives in a box," Cameron said. "A blue box."

"A box?" Chase asked incredulously.

"Yep, a box," Foreman affirmed, still glancing at Cameron. House, of course, noticed.

"Did she try to get you to go necking in the tall grass?" House inquired disparagingly. Foreman rolled his eyes and the look on Cameron's face grew to one of disgust.

"No!" she replied emphatically.

"Besides, we were talking about Mr. Smith's home," Foreman said quickly.

"Yes, he lives in a box," House said. "What's inside of the box?"

"We don't know," Cameron replied.

"We couldn't get inside," Foreman explained. House rolled his eyes and looked at Martha, who was trying her best not to burst out laughing.

"I guess we have a defective Brother," he said, and she couldn't hold it in any longer. She started out giggling, then it grew to a full blown laugh; loud and long. It drew the attention of passersby, including Wilson, who looked through the glass with his eyebrow raised. House motioned for him to come in, but he shook his head and moved on quickly.

"Go after him," House said to Martha. "He's our tumor expert." Martha nodded and left quickly, still laughing.

"What was that about?" Chase asked.

"Apparently we have a defective Intern, too," Cameron replied with feigned sincerity.

.-.-.-.

"Excuse me, Doctor," Martha said when she caught up to Wilson. Her giggles were still subsiding, but she had gotten enough control over them to speak.

"Yes?" Wilson asked, flipping nonchalantly through the file.

"Dr. House says he needs your help," Martha replied. "Something about you being a tumor expert." Wilson laughed.

"I'm an oncologist, but I guess that's a good synonym," he said and he started in the direction of the conference room. Martha smiled and turned to walk in the opposite direction. "Where're you going?" Wilson asked.

"To find the loo," Martha called over her shoulder. Once Wilson had turned into the conference room, Martha picked up her pace. She reached The Doctor's room and looked up and down the hallway before slipping inside and pulling the blinds closed. When her eyes fell on The Doctor lying back in his bed, his eyes closed and his usual smile adorning his face, another bout of laughter came. The Doctor opened his eyes and his smile grew, and pretty soon he, too, was laughing.

When Martha was finally able to control herself, she glanced around and peeked out through the blinds to ensure privacy. The minute she opened her mouth to speak, however, the door to the room opened and Jack came in with a tray of food.

"Thought you'd be hungry," Jack said, and then his eyes fell on Martha. "But I didn't know we'd have company." He set the tray down on the bed's tray table and, ignoring an amused glare from The Doctor, held his hand out for Martha to shake.

"Jack Harkness," he said. Martha smiled and took his hand.

"Martha Jones," she replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Martha," he said.

"And you," she replied before returning her attention to The Doctor. "You told them where the TARDIS is?" she asked.

.-.-.-.

"What do you want, House?" Wilson said as he entered the conference room.

"What'd you do with my intern?" House inquired, limping to a chair and sitting down next to Cameron. She hissed softly and House stared at her, his eyebrow raised. "On second thought, what'd you do to Cameron?" he asked, turning his attention to Foreman.

"I didn't do anything," Foreman replied, raising his hands in defense. "She's been like this since we found Mr. Smith's home."

"Maybe her hearts switching sides," Chase joked. House let out a peal of forced laughter and then glared at Chase.

"House, are you just wasting my time?" Wilson asked. House stood up again, casting wary glances at Cameron, and returned to the white board."

"Guy says he was born with his organs on the right side of his body, yet his hearts on the wrong side. Next bet is a tumor."

"A tumor's not going to move your entire heart to the complete opposite side of your body, House," Wilson said.

.-.-.-.

"Sorry, mind repeating that?" The Doctor asked as he started to shovel food into his mouth. "Wasn't quite listening."

"You told them where the TARDIS is?" Martha repeated.

"Yup," The Doctor affirmed.

"Why?" Jack and Martha asked, both staring at The Doctor with looks of confusion.

"Try this, it's delicious," The Doctor said, holding out a spoonful of mashed potatoes. Jack raised an eyebrow and Martha let out an exasperated sigh.

"Why?" Martha repeated.

"I've got my reasons," The Doctor replied around a mouthful of food. "Now, shouldn't you be helping diagnose me?" Martha rolled her eyes, nodded at Jack, and left.

"Why?" Jack asked once Martha was gone. "Would you tell them about the TARDIS?" The Doctor only smiled.

.-.-.-.

"Fine," Wilson conceded. "I'll run a CT scan. Although, I don't see why one of your ducklings couldn't do it."

"They get so tired," House replied, looking around the table at Chase, Foreman, and Cameron. Cameron's eyes met his and they flashed black and House squinted down at her. "What was that?" he inquired. The door flew open and Martha stepped in.

"Sorry, what'd I miss?" she asked.

"You're going to help Wilson do a CT scan of Mr. Smith," House replied, still looking at Cameron.

"Who?" Martha asked. House raised his head and cocked an eyebrow.

"Our patient," he said.

"Oh, all right, then," Martha said. Wilson shook his head and led her out of the room.

"I guess you guys can go home, then," House said, his gaze returning to Cameron. "Go out, have fun, get laid," he teased. Foreman quickly packed up his things and left, followed closely by House. Chase and Cameron sat in silence for a few moments, Cameron's eyes flashing black ever so often.

"Are you ready?" Chase asked cautiously. Cameron looked at him as though she had just woken from a dream.

"Yeah, yeah," she said, shaking her head. "Let's go."