Author note: Isaac Gracie - Terrified


Harry

Harry hated Grimmauld place with his full heart. He hated the dark corridors, the dead house-elves on the walls, which he couldn't get rid off. The dusty furniture and ancient ceilings. The screaming portrait of Walburga Black, who would not shut up, even if he screamed at her back until his throat was rare and his lungs hurt.

But the most he hated the silence which loomed over the house when the old witch wasn't in the mood for an argument with him.

Silence brought back his memories and he could hear the dead voices in his head clearly like they all stood right next to him. Whispering to him about their lost lives, lost changes and opportunities. It drove him mad.
He had thought, after killing Voldemort, he would be free.

He was wrong. They claimed him, hunted him down in the dark, dead silent nights when he tried to sleep or proceed the day before.

No matter how exhausted he was, how hard he had worked at the Burrow, at Grimmauld place or even at Luna's place, he wasn't able to sleep. His body heavy, but his mind was racing.

So he fleed, avoided the house Sirius had given him and search for a life purpose. For a reason to continue at all.

The first time he had come to Luna's home after the war it was still fresh. The wounds not quite closed and the blood not dry, but he had been restless and anxious to be alone.

Ron was gone with Hermione to search her parents, Neville was at Hogwarts, working day and night and Ginny…
Ginny looked at him differently and he saw an entirely different person. A red-haired woman he was not in love with, he never would be. She often went to see Dean Thomas and Harry felt nothing at all. No hurt, no jealousy. It was fine by him.

So one night in late May he went to Luna, knowing that she would welcome him without wanting anything.

When he arrived at the house, which still lies in ruins, he knew coming there had been the right decision.

The dirigible plum hung low and had lost some branches, but held some fruits again.
He was grateful for that. That live blossomed out of war-damaged beings. Hope that he would get better flamed inside him.

"Harry?", Luna called out to him surprised from the ruff. She was sitting on the open window, her legs swinging and her hair a silver mess.

"Hey.", he had waved his hand lightly embarrassed. Maybe he should have asked her beforehand and not barking in. Maybe she didn't want to see him, being the fault of her destroyed home, but Luna beamed at him, "Come in, the door is open for you."

Slowly he took the steps to the door and it was open like she had said. Almost opening itself under his large hand and he went in. It was clean but chaotic. Parchments, scrolls, and books were distributed on the floor. Strange runes and other symbols were on the walls and in total the house exudes a special magic.

He heard Luna's feet on the floor, coming toward him and suddenly he was buried in a warm hug.
The scent of thyme and lemon filling his nose and he breathed deep in.

"What a wonderful surprise.", her dreamy voice said right into his ear and he felt home. Like he belonged there, in her home, in her arms, in this place.

They sat for nearly the whole night in the garden, teacups flowing in front of them and talking.

Once her father came out, wandering like a lost soul but waved at him in recognition.

Luna was never ashamed of her father.

"He didn't do the right thing.", she had told him one evening, a charcoal pen and a paper on her lap, sketching her surroundings, "But he was desperate. He didn't mean to harm you, or Hermione or Ron, but he missed me and was scared for my life."

"I know.", Harry had responded and laid his hand on her arm, watching the white blonde hair raising on her body. His warm hand a great contrast to her cold skin.

"That's nice.", she smiled, looking at his hand and then continued to sketch his shoulder and hair.

Of course, Hermione and Ron had asked him to come with them to Australia, but he felt out of place between their newfound love. So he had refused and stayed in London, most of the time.
Helping Luna wasn't his only preoccupation. He attended the trials as well, helping to get the wizardry society straight again.

He had helped Narcissa Malfoy and thanked her in front of the whole Wizengamot for her little lie.

"If she wouldn't have done that, we all would be dead by now or imprisoned or lost.", he had told the old witches and wizards in red robes with a steady voice.

They had whispered, shocked that the golden boy testified for the woman who had hosted Voldemort himself.

"Narcissa Malfoy and her son, Draco Abraxas Malfoy, had no choice, no voice in the matter of fact. They weren't able to do anything against the situation in fear of losing their own lives or the life of the ones they love.", Harry had stood in the middle of the round room with the high ceilings and his voice echoed from the walls, "But both had helped me, saved my life and with that changed the outcome of the war."

It had helped them. Narcissa had to serve something like community work in an orphanage and Draco went back to Hogwarts.

They lost most of their money and Malfoy Manor, but they were lucky.

Not everyone had got away so well.

After the trials, Kingsley asked him if he would be willing to start Auror training in summer, without his NEWT's.
Harry had been exited and honored, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to go straight to training without the opportunity to be a teenage boy like he was. Going into clubs, dancing and drinking until the early sun was coloring the nightly sky, feeling free and everlasting.

He wanted this so badly. Living and experimenting, being youth and somehow reckless.

So when Luna dropped her cotton dress on the ground and stood naked in front of him, the lake glistening in the sun, he didn't look away. He followed her soft curves, the small dimple right above her hip and the slightly rounder belly. Her breasts were full and perfect and suddenly he wanted, wanted so badly.

What exactly he wanted, he wasn't sure. They were just friends, weren't they? And there had been Ginny, for a long time and before Cho, but now there was Luna. Her fairy voice, her sensual scent, her round lips, round eyes, round breasts and round hips.

"Don't you want to come in? It is wonderful.", her voice tore him out of his thoughts and slowly, mortified that she would see his body's reaction, took off his clothes. One piece after another while a heated blush spread on his face and chest and he chanted over and over again, "Please don't stay erect. Please don't. God, no."

But Luna had turned away from him, diving into the cool wet and her hair flowing around her. Fast he jumped into the lake before she could turn back to him and saw the little problem below his navel.

She had been right, like always. It felt wonderful. His overheated body cooled down immediately and he felt weightless.

Without his glasses, the world around him was a green, yellow and blue blur. He heard Luna swimming nearby and some singing of the stubborn birds.

"That was an amazing idea.", he called out to the blonde and started to drift through the water. His muscles started to relax and his entire body thanked him for the cooling.

Sometime later they laid on the warm sand next to each other, naked and still somehow embarrassed. In the meantime, the sun sets and the air cooled down.

Harry had his eyes firmly closed, though he knew that Luna laid on her back, hair still wet hair like a silver halo around her head and her body must be covered in goosebumps. He laid on his stomach, let the little earthy creatures crawling all over his damp body. His nose was buried in the crook of his arm and the smells around him, mainly Lunas own body smell, made him dizzy.

"Do you go back to Hogwarts?", he asked her, his voice deep and relaxed.

When Luna didn't answer after a few minutes, he opened his eyes and looked at her, even if she was naked.

Her skin was shimmering in the light and she leaned on her elbows, looked down toward him.

"I'm not sure.", she answered him vaguely, "I can't let my father alone at home."

"I understand.", Harry answered, closing his eyes again before he would only gawk at her breasts. But even then, his eyes shut close, he could see them and if he imagines enough, he fancied to feel them as well.

Later that night, after he kissed Luna lightly good night, this day a near her rosy mouth, and walked down the country road, he thought about what she had said, that she couldn't let her father alone.

Harry knew, of course, that she was right. Xenophilius Lovegood had lost it completely. His mind a great tribute of the war. He wouldn't ever be the same and if malicious gossips were to say that he needed a bed in St. Mungo's, in Janus Thickey Ward, they were probably not that wrong about it.

But Harry understood that Luna would do everything to save her father of this fate.

Maybe he could find someone who would be willing to help. Someone who has lost someone as well and needed variety. Needed to be needed.

Immediately after he walked around the corner, he apparated away.

He landed in an uneven garden and the loud POPP had woken the gnomes and other beings.

Only after a heartbeat, the lights in the house in front of him went on and he heard familiar voices.

"Who's there?", a woman called out, the wand in her hand.

"It's me, Harry.", he answered and went to the door, where Mrs. Weasley pulled him into a strong hug. It smelled like home, even after the disaster with Ginny.

"Harry my dear.", she spoke in the night, "What are you doing here? It's nearly midnight."
She pulled him into the house, where Arthur Weasley in a funny looking dressing gown welcomed him.

"Sorry Mrs. Weasley.", Harry answered truthfully, "I helped Luna and we've forgotten the time, but I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure.", the woman said, waving her wand and loud noises in the kitchen announced tea. She sat on one of the chairs at the long table, "What can I do for you?"

Harry licked his lips nervously. Maybe she wouldn't want to, but he needed to try.

"You do know Mister Lovegood, right?"

"Yes, Harry, they are living not that far away from us."

And then he started, told her why he was there and what he hoped for.