Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter… or his parents… or his parents' friends… I don't even own the random characters, they are named after friends…

Stalking Lily

By AllyCat-Dolphinlover

FUN IN THE LIBRARY

"Go, go, go!" ordered James urgently to his troop.

"I'll go when I go!" Sirius retorted moving extra slowly.

"Sirius..."

"Y-e-e-a-a-h?" asked Sirius slowly.

"Don't." he said dangerously, he turned to his other friend, "Remus?"

"Yes, James?" asked Remus politely. I mask my annoyance rather well, he thought.

"Go sit with Evans now! Time is ticking!" he pointed to the paper watch on his wrist Sirius had made him.

Remus sighed and began to move away from his friend. "Oh and Remus?" Remus turned to James. "Mask your annoyance better."

Remus resisted the urge to run into a bookshelf. "Hey, Lily." he said sitting beside Lily in the Library.

Lily looked up, "Remus! Thank Merlin you're here!"

"Somebody seems excited Remus has arrived." Sirius whispered to James behind the shelf next to Lily and Remus were sitting at.

James pulled out a book from the shelf, hit Sirius with it, and then put it back neatly.

"Ow..."

"What's the problem?" asked Remus.

"Bloody Transfiguration!"

"Of course." said Remus with a smile.

"Lily... doesn't... like... transfiguration..." jotted down James in his 'Official Lily-stalking Book'.

"I can't believe I'm in place where there are books..." Sirius muttered in disgust.

"How should anyone my age know about the process of becoming an animagus?" Lily ranted. Remus snorted at her question. "What?" she asked with irritation.

"I'm laughing with you?" offered Remus.

Lily bought it. "Can I copy you?" she asked innocently.

Sirius and James' eyes widened. Lily Evans was asking a fellow prefect if she could copy his work.

"Lily!"

"What? I Can?"

"Well, I haven't actually finished mine, but I'm appalled at you."

"Come on," urged Lily. "Marly is just gonna copy me, even though she's better at it than me... hell, anyone's better at it than me! Your friends-" she broke off, thinking. "Your friends." she stated in a un-Lilyish voice.

"I don't like where she is going." Sirius muttered.

"I do." James replied focusing their binoculars on her.

"What are you talking about, Lily?" Remus asked in a 'do-I-really-want-to-know?' voice.

"You can steal your friends homework!" she said.

Sirius and James' jaws dropped.

"And give it to me-" she continued.

Sirius and James dropped their binoculars with a thud.

"To copy!" she finished.

This was too much for Sirius; he fell backwards in a faint. James, however pulled out his wand, "Accio!" he cried.

"Lily, I'm not going to steal James' and Sirius' homework so you can copy-"

"Not Potter and Blacks homework, just one-" Lily's sentence was broken by a loud cry.

"I'LL HELP YOU EVANS!" James yelled coming out of his 'hiding place' carrying a piece of parchment.

"Potter, what are you doing here?... This is the library," said Lily, putting an emphasis on library though gritted teeth.

"I know perfectly well where I am," he said.

"Are you sure you're not lost or something?" she asked confused.

"No!" he said defensively, "I've been here before!"

"Really?"

"Of course, Sirius is the one who's scared!"

"Black's scared of the library- Hold on, Black is in the library?" she asked.

"Yeah, behind that shelf with the binoculars," James confirmed, pointing. Sirius smiled and waved nervously before hitting his forehead repetitively on the shelf.

"What do you want?" Lily asked James.

"I am here to let you copy my homework," he said holding out his piece of parchment.

"James, Lily wasn't serious-" Remus started at James.

"Of course she wasn't, I am Sirius!" Sirius called from the shelf. Everyone ignored him.

"- She wasn't actually going to copy you-"

"Give it here!" Lily cried, snatching the parchment from James.

"- And yet again, I remain an ignored shadow of responsibility."

"Hold on," Lily said scanning the parchment. "This isn't homework this is just a list of excuses to tell the professors."

"What?" Remus asked looking over her shoulder.

"One, tell McGonagall my dog ate it," she read out. "You aren't allowed dogs at Hogwarts... Oh wait, two, if one doesn't work tell McGonagall Sirius ate it."

"One time!" Sirius cried.

"Three, if above doesn't work, say I was too busy practicing for Quidditch so we can win the cup this year. Hey, you're using McGonagall's weakness against her!"

"It's what I do," James said with a charming smile.

"Four, tell Flitwick I was in the hospital wing after being ambushed by seventh year Slytherins (pause dramatically for awes from girls), I managed to win... but at a price... What the hell is this?"

"Every detail must be planned out, Evans, surely even you know about organization."

"Five, tell Slughorn I was too down after being rejected by his favourite pupil. Oh please! Six, tell Kettleburn I was attacked by the schools rampaging hippogriffs and was unable to complete my homework. Hippogriffs don't 'rampage' unless you insult them... although I wouldn't put it past you."

"I'm not that stupid, I wouldn't insult a thestral!"

"Hippogriff." Remus automatically corrected.

"Seven, tell new DADA teacher on full moon I had to investigate strange howling. You don't even know the Professor's name!?"

"We get a new one each year, it's hard to keep track..."

"Seven, tell Binns I almost died. Okay that one was just mean."

"What can I say?" said James proudly. "I'm a rebel."

She threw the list back at him in frustration. "Hey that's important," he said.

"It's a list of excuses no teacher's ever going to buy!"

"And you may use as many of those excuses as you please."

"It's useless! It will never work."

"What ever happened to it's the thought that counts?"

"It became pointless when you and Black were born."

"Makes sense..." Sirius and Remus said in unison. Remus looked horrified that he thought like Sirius for a second.

"You don't listen! You don't do your homework! How the hell are you the top of transfiguration?" yelled Lily.

"Jealous aren't we?" smirked James.

"Of course I am! I listen, I take notes, I study, I do my homework-"

"You mean copy Remus?" corrected James.

"ARGH! I hardly copy Remus-"

James pointed a finger in the air, "Hardly? Aha, so you do copy Remus."

"Hardly ever, only in transfiguration..." Lily stopped on account of realizing her strange need to justify herself to Potter of all people. "Like you can talk!" By then a crowd had gathered in the library around them.

"Of course I can talk... I can walk and talk!"

"He doesn't understand the concept of the term," explained Remus.

"Yeah, but I'm still the top in transfiguration." James said smugly. "Explain that!"

"You know not everyone has a wand made for transfiguration!" Lily contradicted.

"Well... actually," Sirius said pulling out his wand.

"Yeah..." said a bystander pulling his out.

"Don't forget me!" another called.

"What about me?" a girl asked.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Lily. She turned back to James.

"You know this is rich coming from Miss I-have-a-charms-wand!"

"Oh, please Charm wands are common," she turned to the crowd. "Right?" she asked hopefully.

"Well..."

"I don't have one."

"Sorry."

"I like chicken!" Everyone turned to Sirius. "I do, though..."

"How do you even know do much about my wand!? Who's the stalker now!?" shouted James in triumph.

"I love watching them fight!" Sirius commented to Remus. "It's like free entertainment."

"Who's the stalker now?" asked Lily confused. "What?... Do you stalk me?"

"N-noo" James lied. "That would be weird!"

"It would explain why you and Black are wearing black with random ink lines on your cheeks and are in the library!"

"You know some people just like black!"

"Of course, everyone likes me!" Sirius said.

"He meant the colour, Sirius, some people just like it," said Remus.

"I do, it brings out my eyes," Sirius said.

"Doesn't it?" a girl said flirtatiously to Sirius.

"Thank you... what's your name?" he added as an afterthought.

"... We went out last month," she reminded him.

"Ah, I remember!" The girl smiled in relief at (what she hoped would be) her future husband. "Sharon!" Sirius announced with a smile.

She blinked at him, "Amy," she corrected frowning slightly.

He snapped his fingers together. "Sorry, Anna."

"Amy!" she tried again more slowly.

Sirius waved an impatient hand, "Whatever, Jenny-"

"AMY!"

"Back to me!" James called.

"You mean us!" Lily said glaring at him with her hands on her hips.

"Us? So there is an us!"

"What? No!... I meant we were both talking! Everything is about you... you're so self-absorbed! Do you ever think about anything other than yourself!?" she yelled.

There was a silence in the library (for once) and James ran a hand through his hair nervously, "So, I'm guessing this wouldn't be a good time to ask you out?"

"ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!"