We're moving to the Capitol now, to shoot propoganda. No one has dared say a word to me, and it must be because of the scowl that's imprinted on my face. Honestly, I've tried to smile, but it just feels forced.
As we continued to the Capitol, Finnick walked over, his face worried. I keep my eyes low, trying to avoid talking. But it's Finnick. He knows something is wrong. But the last words Peeta hissed are playing through my head over and over.
"No. I think memories are important. Unlike you."
Would Peeta really hold a grudge on me for a long time? Is our relationship over? No. Peeta is my lifeline. If he would ever die, I know I would too. Does Peeta feel this same way anymore? I don't know. A small pang of hurt in my heart echoes, and my breath hitches. No, Katniss. You won't cry. You can't cry. I order myself, my eyes still glued to the ground.
Suddenly I feel a hand shaking my shoulder harshly. I look up to Finnick, who's frantic.
"Katniss! Katniss-" Finnick stops, taking in a deep breath.
I raise an eyebrow, and realize I had stopped walking a while ago. What happened? Had I just completely stopped, enveloped in my thoughts?
"-God damn, Katniss. You weren't answering me. I was standing here, shaking your shoulder, for almost ten minutes! Ten!" He says quickly, out of breath already.
For a moment, it's hard to swallow, and I think I am going to crumple to the ground. Somehow, I compose myself again, though I'm pretty sure my heart is shattering even more with every passing moment. Peeta hasn't talked to me in a about five hours, and those few hours of separation, it's driving me insane.
"I-I'm fine." I stutter out, clearing my throat.
The rest of the group is watching Finnick and I, some faces a cross between angry and shocked. My cheeks start to heat up, and my eyes quickly shift back to the ground. I can't help but look back up for a moment, and my eyes catch Peeta's. His eyes feel like they're boring into my soul, but I don't have the heart to look away. His blue orbs are like ice, chilling me to the bone. Peeta clenches his jaw, and it seems like he's straining himself to not look away.
Finally, Peeta looks away, and I feel something snap inside of me. I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding. Finnick had been watching Peeta and I carefully, and he seems frozen now, lost in his own thoughts.
I tap his shoulder, waiting for a response. "Finnick?" I ask hoarsely, choking out a cough.
Finnick shoves his hand into his poket, and produces a small tin, and takes my hand, pressing the cold metal box into my hand. Sugar cubes.
"Take these. You'll need 'em." He says, his face etched with a sad smile.
I smile back, my expression the same as his.
Sad and mournful.
I can see the Capitol, the ugly, gaudy, and quite frankly, sadistic city that rules over us. This place will burn, and I'll be the one holding the matches. Cressida starts to prep everyone with makeup, and I shy away, making sure to keep my distance from the group.
Peeta must feel the same way as me.
I spot him sitting on a rock, not too far away from where I'm wandering. Maybe now is my chance to go and talk to him. I scuff my boot on the ground, biting the inside of my cheek. Would Peeta lash out? If only I could be brave enough to not care about what Peeta would say or do. But I'm too afraid. I'm a coward. Just a meaningless coward.
Inside, deep down, I know my heart is screaming and kicking, telling me to go and pour my heart out to him. And yet my feet are glued to this spot.
I'm moving. My legs are pushing me toward Peeta like a desperate cry for help. Didn't I think this through?
No.
Peeta doesn't even acknowledge my presence. He's staring blankly into the horizon, which the tall buildings of the Capitol ruin the sparkling view of the setting sun. Another reason why I hate this place.
"Peeta." I croak out, my voice cracking. He's going to ignore me. I can tell by the set of his jaw, and the way he's faced away from me.
A sudden flash of anger surges through me, and I clench my fists at my sides, becoming impatient.
"Peeta!" I shout, taking a few steps closer to him.
"I'm not going to stand here, and let you ignore me! We're either in this together, or not. You think I'm an idiot for drinking out of a flask. But your memories have been altered, and the truth is finally coming back. I think I'm allowed a little time to stop stressing about what's going on right now. I'm the one here, with the most scars-" Taking a deep breath, I stop. All of my words are gone. Peeta has turned to me, his face contorted in anger. He stands up, I want to flinch away, thinking he'll hit me.
"Katniss. What they did to me in the Capitol, it wasn't humane. You've never been repeatedly whipped, beaten, starved- I've gone through Hell and back!" He shouts back, his hands flying wildly in the air.
We're close together now, our foreheads almost touching. The sudden closeness surprises me.
"You never answered me, Peeta. Are we in this together, or are we not?" I ask quietly, my throat feeling dry from all the screaming.
Peeta's eyes flicker away for a moment, and I start to feel disappointed. He's gone. He hates me, and he's gone.
And then we're kissing.
Our kiss, it's a mingle of passion, anger, and desperate need. Peeta's hands are all over me, and I'm doing the same. I can't think straight. The only thing that's floating through my mind now, is just Peeta. I've never kissed anyone with this kind of integrity, and- I like it. Peeta breaks away, and both our chests are heaving.
"I don't want to sound too cliché, but... Together forever?" He tries to hide a smile, but I'm smiling like a lovesick idiot.
"Together forever."
