Chapter Three
The Space Pirates
They had expected it to feel…well, emptier, to say the least.
Empty space, they had presumed, was supposed to be comprised of nothing - no fluid substance or resistance should have been what they were feeling at the moment. However, approximately ten seconds after they were jettisoned from the ship that they had been contained in for the past fifteen minutes, they realized that their estimations had proven to be false. In fact, they did not go drifting out into the blackness of space as they had expected – instead, they slowly sailed in a more-or-less distinct parabola toward the metallic grating that served as the surface of a rather massive walkway which extended toward what appeared to be the entrance of the frigate. With a distinct and rather humorous-sounding doof, the three Eds fell softly, yet still face-first, on the cold metal surface.
Instead of instinctively trying to sit up and rub their slightly sore visages, the three Eds stayed down – and by "stayed down", this meant "stayed down." They tightly gripped the metal grating that served as the surface of the walkway leading to the entrance of the frigate, fearing that they would float off into space at an alarming rate if they had let go. Edd and Eddy had begun to sweat even more intensively now, though the salty drops, instead of trickling down the sides of their faces, began to float off slowly into the distance.
Three suburban pre-teenagers were in outer space high above an unknown planet, clinging onto a metal grating that was part of an unknown space station for their lives – who could blame them for their intense feelings of fright?
Ed, on the other hand, was too preoccupied with staring at the endless chasm of space visible through the grating with gawking, wonder-stricken eyes to worry about such trivial bodily functions such as sweat…or urination, for that matter. Fortunately, the Eds all had their "masks" covering their mouths and noses, otherwise they would have been deceased by now…likely due to the lack of oxygen present in outer space, or perhaps due to the fact that the stench of Ed's pee may have knocked them out. It was because of these masks that the Eds could not converse with each other, and instead had to rely on physical motion in order to communicate.
Edd knew that, even though they had felt a bit more secure in clinging onto the floor while exposed to the endless vacuum of space, he and his companions were not going to make much progress if they did not move. There was only one option for them now: walking, albeit very slowly, to the entrance of the derelict frigate. Then again, even he was too frightened of what would happen if he or his friends would have let go of the grating – even he did not understand the more complex physics concerning the nature of the cosmos.
At the same time, attempting to see how far ahead the entrance of the frigate was, Edd and Eddy slowly lifted their faces from the cold grating and hesitantly looked ahead. Instantly they were relieved – there seemed to be a sizeable, metallic, hexagonally-shaped door-liked structure with a light-blue glow about it waiting for them about twenty feet away. It seemed to be attached to the larger part of the station, signifying that it was most likely the entrance that they were looking for (though they did exhibit a slight fear that it might lead them to an interstellar outhouse).
Just then, something had entered their field of vision…from their right, to be precise – from what they could discern, it seemed to be relatively slow moving and…was wearing a dark, faded green jacket.
"Ed! Stop!" screamed Edd and Eddy inaudibly upon spotting Ed running across the walkway, apparently in slow-motion due to the almost non-existent gravitational force, and toward the entrance of the station. The blathering fool had no concept of the nature of space whatsoever – he could have begun floating upward into infinity at any moment!
Panicking, Edd tried, with all his intellectual might, to concoct a quick solution to save his friend from potentially drifting off into space. However, Eddy had other, less conceptual plans, and, acting on an ever-characteristic impulse, pushed off of the grating with his feet, propelling himself through space – however, he performed this at an angle that actually allowed him to slowly "fly" through the "air" straight toward Ed instead of straight up into space.
Two acts of stupidity in a row – yet another world record!
Edd inaudibly screamed in terror again as he, now abandoning all logical thought in favor of impulse, quickly rose to his feet (well, as quickly as the non-fluidity of space would allow) and began to run with all speed toward Eddy, who was now sailing toward Ed with surprising speed. Everything seemed to move in slow motion – movement in outer space appeared to be synonymous with underwater movement…except this experience seemed to be much more frightening.
The chain reaction that occurred within the next ten seconds was both incredibly dim-witted in nature, yet remarkably beautiful from a machinists' standpoint.
First, Ed had turned around with the intention of waving to his friends and telling them that it was safe to follow him – however, before he could do this, he noticed Eddy swiftly traveling toward his face at a surprising speed. Eddy, with a horror-stricken expression on his face, screamed in fright as he flew toward Ed's monobrowed face, and, with a gut-wrenching thoomp, crashed head-first into Ed's visage.
The sickening impact had two results: it had sent Eddy slowly drifting off in the opposite direction, toward endless space, to be exact (while screaming, naturally), and left Ed in a daze, laughing moronically whilst silently shouting "Hi, Eddy!"
At that point, it had taken Ed an unnaturally miniscule amount of time to realize that his best friend was now slowly drifting off into oblivion. Thus, he reacted by pointlessly screaming "Whoa, Eddy, you're not supposed to fly until you've had your breakfast, mister!" and swiftly grabbed onto Eddy's right ankle with his left hand. However, the forward thrust of his arm had caused the rest of his body to start floating off of the walkway, as well, toward space. That was when he also silently shouted "Whoa, I am flying, Double Dee!"
Edd, naturally, did not hear him (the sci-fi movie slogan "in space, no one can hear you scream" had, ironically, not occurred to Ed), though at this point, all three of the Eds were silently screaming in panic, despite the conditions. Being the only one still present on the walkway, he noticed that Ed's hand was, fortunately, right in front of his face – this was his chance to act!
Thinking quickly, he grabbed onto Ed's hand (fortunately, he did not have to reach upward, but only straight ahead), and, with great exertion, especially for one with his lack of physical strength, pulled the chain of Eds toward the entrance. Since he did not reach out to save Ed, he did not float outward as they had, and therefore saved himself as well as his companions. He pulled with all of his might, nearing the door at a slow but steady pace, a strained expression stretched across his face – he gritted his teeth and sweat intensely as he made progress.
Eddy stared in utter disbelief at Edd's surprising stamina and strength, given the fact that Ed and Eddy were, combined, rather heavy. However, this was probably due to the fact that, in space, weight does not exist, as there is no source of gravity. Ed gawked wide-eyed at Edd, as well, as the latter finally reached the fortunately automated door, silently cheering him on.
Then, with one, final and strained shout of anguish, Edd quickly pulled his friends through the three-by-three foot entrance of the space station, letting go once they were overhead and sending them hurtling down the metal-ridden corridor in which they were now located.
Edd's left arm had gone practically numb and, thus, did not sting with pain just yet. However, he did notice that he had not fallen to the ground yet, and, upon realizing this, looked at where his feet should have been, only to see that he was now floating at about mid-level in the six-foot tall hallway. Apparently, there was no gravity present here, either – this was reaffirmed when he looked behind him at the other end of the hallway and spotted a rather unusual sight.
To be honest, Edd was in fact looking down the cold, steel-walled hallway and only spotting several small floating segments of random metallic debris…as well as what appeared to be a doorway of some sort – however, he did not see either Ed or Eddy, at least from this distance. Taking advantage of the apparent lack of gravity, Edd began to "swim" down the hallway until he eventually reached the doorway…where there used to be a door. Apparently, Ed and Eddy had crashed into the automated portal with such force that it was forcibly opened, thus transforming it into a ragged piece of scrap metal that still somehow managed to operate efficiently enough.
Fearing for the safety of his friends, Edd proceeded to swim through the doorway and into the next, identical-looking hallway. Apparently, his friends had crashed right through the door, for, at the moment, they were both floating in midair in the middle of the hallway, with Eddy strangling Ed violently - naturally, the latter was enjoying it, laughing inaudibly at the experience of being strangled in a space station light-years away from Earth.
"This is fun!"
Crash!
"Ouch!"
Judging by the fact that the Eds had finally regained the ability to hear each other as well as the fact that all three of them had fallen to the floor and landed flat on their backs against the cold, metallic floor, it seemed apparent that gravity had returned. Rubbing his back as he slowly sat up, a confused Edd looked behind him in search of an explanation. Apparently, the "broken" door that he had just passed through seemed to be functional enough to completely close, thereby pressurizing the room and allowing the Eds to breathe, hear, and maneuver as if they were on any other planet.
One by one, the Eds slowly rose to their feet, attempting to orient themselves after the five-minute ordeal outside, failing repeatedly until one full minute later.
"That was fun!" exclaimed Ed, removing his mask and inserting it into one of his ever-mysterious coat pockets while looking at his friends, extreme excite present in his eyes. "It was just like in the movies – 'cept we were Space Outlaws, not astrotonauts."
Since it seemed apparent that the environment was relatively breathable, Edd and Eddy followed suit with the mask-removal, as well. "'That's 'astronauts', Ed," corrected Ed, beating his left arm against his side, trying to return feeling to it after the…strange occurrence outside. "And please, try not to be so reckless…we could have ended up drifting forever into-"
"Whatever, Double Dee," interjected Eddy, rubbing his forehead in pain as he backed away toward the other end of the hallway, still in relative shock from the impact he had experienced a few minutes ago with Ed's forehead – he had learned the hard way that Ed's skull was as durable as stone. "Ugh, my head…Ed's too dim-witted to learn…or pronounce "astrotonauts"."
Edd winced at the mispronunciation.
"Still, you were right, Ed!" admitted Eddy, breaking out in sudden laughter as the automated door behind him opened as he neared it – he was unaware of this. "That zero gravity stuff was-gah!"
Eddy was cut off upon realizing that he had just stepped backward into the beginning of a downward staircase – instantly losing his balance, he fell backward and tumbled violently down the stairs, shouting and grunting in pain as his face and back repeatedly struck the cold steel. With great velocity he ricocheted off the final step and was sent hurtling, in a parabolic fashion, in to a rather sizeable object…it seemed quite soft and had effectively cushioned the impact, fortunately. Still, he ached all over and let out one final shout of discomfort as he grabbed at his spine.
Characteristically, Ed and Edd had pursued him down the stairway, an expression of worry present on Edd's face and one of relative cluelessness on Ed's. "Eddy, are you alright?!" cried Edd with concern in his voice, running toward his surprisingly unfortunate companion with an outstretched hand, intending to help him up after such a fall. However, upon catching sight of the school bus-sized object positioned behind Eddy, he had stopped in his tracks and had slapped his outstretched hand over his mouth to prevent himself from screaming. Ed was also characteristically speechless upon seeing the same thing, though it looked like he could have shouted something along the lines of "cool!" at any moment.
Eddy gawked at his friends with a confused expression on his face, wondering what in the world could have been so strange. He was about to ask his friends what he was currently resting his back upon when he decided to take the risk of standing up, backing away, and turning around in order to see it for himself.
Eddy instantly broke out in a scream of disgust.
Apparently, he had collided into what appeared to be a school bus-sized, heavily bloated insect of some kind, which appeared to be lying on its back, seemingly deceased. What was more disgusting and caused each Ed to back away was the fact that this gigantic, cockroach-like, dark brown bug was both rotting and encompassed in a pillar of flames (save for the section of its body that Eddy had crashed into). Its massive, hair-tipped legs were raised limply into the air, to further the assumption that it was indeed dead.
At that point, Ed had felt something moving around in his green jacket…it seemed to be surprisingly large, about half his size and weight. "Haha, that tickles!" he guffawed as he reacted by reaching into his jacket, fumbling around, and pulling out the scurrying creature by the ankle. Apparently, Eddy had been so frightened and disgusted at the sight of the house-sized insect (as well as the fact that he had touched it) that he had reacted by turning around and diving into Ed's jacket for protection. "
Hi, Eddy!" he greeted upon letting a quivering Eddy down on his feet. "Look at the big space bug! It's so handsome…like the one in 'Thok: Invader of the Planet Fingernails: The Sequel'!"
Edd, similarly to Eddy, was in a state of shock – he had never imagined a living insect to be this gigantic in size! "Look…at the size of that arthropod…" he stammered in both wonder and disgust as his eyes soaked in the image he was now perceiving in front of him. "What could have caused such a state of growth...now that I think of it, what could have caused its untimely death…oh my word!"
Eddy had noticed it too – the entire room was apparently engulfed in a blazing inferno. In fact, everything was in flames...as if a propane tank – or at least five or more of them - had exploded simultaneously. A walkway on the right side of the room seemed to be in shambles, utterly destroyed by randomly falling debris. The high-reaching walls seemed to have previously housed apparatuses that looked similar to stereotypical escape pods, though most of them were either already ejected from the station or simply engulfed in fire. There were some parts of the chamber that seemed traversable, notably one section leading around the deceased insect and to the other side of the room, but everything else was barricaded by a blazing wall.
Crash! A thick, leg-sized, flaming pipe fell down from the ceiling and crashed on the floor a few feet to the left of the Eds. This was enough to prompt quick action – now they were scared for their lives (except for Ed, who was thoroughly enjoying every moment of this).
"Let's get out of here!" shouted Eddy, his voice quaking as he ran for the non-combustible pathway that lead around the massive arthropod, his two companions closely following him. The ever-growing wall of flames seemed to reach at them as they stumbled their way through the uncomfortably narrow passage and toward yet another automated door located several feet behind the dead insect.
"Run, fellows!" cried Edd as they ducked through the automated door, which had opened at such a slow rate that Eddy might have crashed headlong into it had it not activated just in time. Luckily, they were able to make it through – unluckily, they were unable to stop running due to their extreme level of fright. Thus, they kept running and running down the hallway.
That was when Edd had spotted something up ahead, though unfortunately, he had noticed it a bit too late – in the middle of the hallway in which they were currently sprinting there appeared to be a sizeable blockade comprised of random metallic debris simply lying there, and it looked incredibly durable. However, they were already running much too fast to slow down, and, thus, instead of proposing that the three of them quickly cease running, he simply just screamed and shielded his face with his durable arm cannon – Eddy did the same. Ed, obviously, did not.
Contrary to what Edd and Eddy had initially predicted, and by some freak accident of physics, the combined momentum of all three Eds running in unison had allowed them to effectively crash through the thick, metallic blockade and, maintaining such an incredible combined force, it also allowed them to crash through the automated door, thoroughly shattering it to small fragments of metal and wire.
However, this velocity did not allow them to crash through the wall at the end of the smaller, circularly-shaped chamber that was behind the door that used to be in existence. Thus, they ended their manic charge with a gut-wrenching crash against yet another cold, steel wall.
The Eds, upon striking the wall, immediately bounced backward and promptly fell to the floor, slamming their backs against a similarly frigid metal surface. Particularly, as Ed fell (seeing as how he was on the far left of the group's "formation"), his left hand had struck a conveniently-placed lever protruding out of the wall beside him. Lying on the floor with sore faces, legs, and backs, the relatively exhausted group gazed at the imaginary stars that were presently orbiting their heads (which, of course, Ed had promptly commented on as being "pretty").
At that point, they had attempted to rise to their feet, but were struck back down by a sudden jolt in the floor, followed by a loud clanging sound. Before they could discern precisely what was going on, the floor began descending down what appeared to be a shaft that extended to lower parts of the station. Apparently, they were in an elevator of some sort, and apparently, it was not in flames.
Deciding to remain flat on the elevator floor, Eddy turned to Edd, panting with exhaustion and soreness. "Hey, Double Dee?" he asked through heavy breaths in a rather sarcastic, cheesed-off tone. "Guess what? I haven't seen any time machine yet!"
Edd was characteristically shocked at this remark and stared at Eddy with furrowed eyebrows. "Eddy, did you really expect me to look for a time machine in that blazing inferno?!" he questioned, also relatively cheesed-off at both the group's current situation as well as Eddy's mind-grating impatience. "I, for one, was more concerned with escaping with my life, thank you very much!"
"Face it, Double Dee!" shot back Eddy, his teeth clenched. "You almost got us fried in that oven, you didn't find a time machine yet…your plan stinks!"
Amidst the argument, the elevator had finally slowed to a stop and reached the lower level with a metallic clink-ing sound. At that point, the Eds were able to find balance once again, though Ed was an obvious exception – he laughed heartily as he kept tripping repeatedly while trying to stand.
"I wanna do that again!" he cried, obviously referring to the epic charge that he and his friends had made when escaping a fiery death a few chambers ago.
Upon hearing this, Eddy thought of turning around, facing his friend, and screaming "No!", also considering strangling him in the progress – however, Edd had already interjected, signaling toward yet another automated door, this one positioned a few feet in front of them.
"Gentlemen, I believe the sooner we continue our exploration of this death trap of a frigate, the sooner we return to the cul-de-sac," he proposed, perfectly aware of the dangerous situations he and his friends might face along the way. "As long as we work as a team, we can get through this." Though Ed had an obvious lack of mental capacity to do so, and even though Eddy still showed prominent signs of stubbornness, they both agreed with Edd and passed through the door cautiously.
Yet another hall filled to the brim with large sheets and scraps of metal and random debris had been awaiting them at the other side of the portal – in fact, as the Eds continued to travel further and further into the space station, they came to notice that nearly every hallway was near-impassible – this became annoyingly redundant, to say the least. However, they had always devised some way of passing the obstructions, some solutions including simply sidling around the debris or using Ed as a battering ram to crash through it. Fire, obviously, was a common element in nearly every chamber they came across; this space station was, as Edd had stated before, a true death-trap.
The Eds began to doubt that they would ever find a time machine here.
"Eddy, hold on," stammered Edd as they passed through yet another automatic door after about ten minutes of fruitless searching. He dropped down next to the doorway, sitting up against the wall and wiping the sweat off of his brow. "I need to rest – I'm afraid my physical capabilities are not suited for this kind of strenuous work." His arm cannon fell to his side, hitting the cool metallic ground with a distinct clang.
They had walked onto what appeared to be a sizeable second-floor balcony of a biotechnological laboratory that stretched off to the left, then upward to the north of the room. The laboratory below, from what the Eds could see, contained several massive, zoo-grade cryogenic tanks attached to even larger tanks protruding from the ceiling (possibly their power source), the contents of which were more or less unknown. A simple walk across the U-shaped balcony would possibly have led them into another chamber, but they needed to wait for Edd first.
Eddy groaned in impatience once again – he was tired of these strenuous games. "Come on, Sockhead!" he complained as his eyebrows furrowed. "Jeez, can't you be a little more useful? Look at Ed, he's fine."
And he was, and seemed to be occupied with trying to identify something over one the other side of the balcony, approximately ten feet away from them. He was probably trying to find yet another massive insect similar to the one he and the others had seen before, but with no luck.
Still, Ed could have sworn he was seeing something move toward the corner…
"We're not going to get home if we don't keep looking!" ranted Eddy at the exhausted Edd, who was appropriately paying him no mind. "Get up! Are you even listening to-"
Pow!
While Eddy had been shouting at his friend, something had suddenly flown through the air and had nearly missed Ed's head by an inch. Eddy had not seen it, and Ed was too preoccupied with staring at the source of the blast to see it, either – however, Edd had seen it in time to identify what it was, and upon doing so, he promptly stood up in shock. A fist-sized, bright-red circular projectile had just fired through the air at near-blinding speed and almost hit Ed right in the face. There had also been a distinct "firing" sound that had accompanied its launch.
Ed had almost been shot by something.
Eddy quickly turned around in order to see where this firing sound came from and saw that Ed was bearing his arm cannon toward the end of the balcony ahead of them, just before the corner, shouting "Evil Space Mutant!" Edd and Eddy's eyes fell upon the source of the blast…and they, too, shouted in shock and pointed their arm cannons at it in horror.
A seven-foot tall humanoid was standing about eight feet away from the Eds, bearing similar-looking arm cannon at them threateningly. Now this, as unbelievable as it had seemed, was a genuine alien, as they had seen in Ed's sizeable collection of comic books. It appeared to be a cross between a human and a lizard, standing relatively erect and decked in what appeared to be some sort of dark-grey-colored armor suit. Its other visible hand, as well as its feet, were both large and long, and its fingers and toes about the length of Eddy's forearm, from what they could see. From this distance, they could see that it had glowing, yellow-colored eyes as well as a lack of a distinct nose. Finally, it appeared as if it was the owner of a mouth full of sharp teeth as well as a terrifying, guttural roar, which it promptly emitted upon being spotted.
The Eds and the alien simply stared each other down, about eight feet separating them from each other, bearing their arm cannons threateningly. Although Ed was embroiled in the unerupted conflict with this hostile being from another world, both Edd and Eddy were scared out of their minds. Then, after about eight uneventful seconds had passed by, Eddy had finally found the words necessary in order to state his query.
"…How the heck do you shoot this freakin' arm cannon?!" he shouted in panic, waving his arm cannon from side to side and slapping it with his other hand. Edd, also unsure, followed suit by jiggling it and trying to find a trigger-like apparatus on it, but to no avail.
"I don't know…I don't know, Eddy!" screamed Edd, slowly backing away from the alien, which had now begun to limp its way toward them, still brandishing its arm cannon at the three Eds. Wait, thought Edd amidst his panic. That life form is limping…something must have wounded it before we arrived…
The alien had gotten to the point where it was now about four feet away from the Eds – not only was it frighteningly tall, but it also smelled quite rank. That and it scared the heck out of them, even the interstellar warrior Ed, who was still only bearing his cannon at the mutant space beast. Edd, at this point, had given up in his attempts to utilize his arm cannon and instead was using it as a shield for his face, and Eddy was too busy biting his in anger to even try. The interstellar beast then pointed his arm cannon directly at Ed and fixed its aim, letting out an exponentially-growing growl as it did so. It prepared to fire…
"Prepare to meet your maker, Space Monster!" bellowed Ed heroically and dramatically as his arm cannon suddenly unleashed a rapid barrage of fist-sized, yellow-colored glowing energy blasts at the extraterrestrial being, effectively blasting straight through its epidermal layer, puncturing its torso in at least twenty different spots, and sending it toppling backward several feet before, with a long, pained, bellowing roar, it collapsed on its back against the cold, metallic floor, apparently and thoroughly dead.
All three Eds stood motionless for about twenty seconds, all with thoroughly shocked expressions stretched across their faces. This was truly unbelievable – these three, fairly ordinary suburban pre-teenagers had just been the first humans to ever encounter an alien of any sort…what was more, they had destroyedit…killed it.
Ed then felt something grab his left shoulder, causing him to turn around and face a thoroughly awed Eddy, who was still gawking at the corpse of the alien. "Nice shot, Ed…" he complimented slowly, almost at a loss for words. "How…the heck did you do that?"
Snapping out of his post-annihilation trance rather quickly, Ed quickly developed a pompous smile and assumed a rather heroic stance. "Oh, it was easy, Eddy!" he declared, pointing his arm cannon in the opposite direction, toward the wall that was behind the alien. "I just looked at the evil space monster dead in the eye and said 'I am E-'"
Pow!
Without warning, another bright, fist-sized yellow blast of circular energy came from Ed's arm cannon, traveling as quickly as a bullet and striking the wall, leaving a luminescent, yellow stain on it. Edd probably would have suggested that it was composed of plasma-oriented substances and such, but surprisingly said nothing on the matter of the beam itself. Ed and Eddy simply stared at their arm cannons, still unenlightened on how they truly functioned.
"The cannons fire single energy bursts upon extending your pointer finger when your fist is clenched," came Edd's voice as he passed the other two Eds, prodding the upper right corner of his visor as he approached the alien that Ed had thoroughly destroyed, a look of both disgust and curiosity on his face. "If you keep it outstretched, a volley of blasts will be the result." He gazed at the alien from behind his green-colored visor analytically, as if he were trying to identify it – in reality, he appeared to be scanning it with his ever-useful scan visor.
Eddy looked back at his dual-d'd friend with a puzzled expression. "And how the heck do you know that, Sockhead?" he questioned, becoming frustrated due to the increase in concepts that he did not understand. Ed, however, was content with not understanding anything whatsoever.
"The scan visor is quite a useful apparatus, Eddy," he replied, preoccupied with his analysis of the evil, dead space mutant. "Ed, if this analytical data is accurate, and from my experience I am almost certain that it is, you have just killed this already-wounded 'Space Pirate'."
Ed, in characteristic response, jumped into the air with an extreme feeling of excitement. "Evil Space Pirates, Double Dee!" he randomly shouted with gusto before returning to the ground and scratching his monobrow.
Eddy, however, was significantly less impressed, and showed it visibly by crossing his arms and raising one eyebrow in a questioning manner. "'Space Pirate'?" he queried with a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me tone in his gravelly voice. "What kind of a name is that? Jeez, even the aliens that aren't in the movies are lame…"
Edd, at that point, had finished tinkering with his visor and had turned to his companions. "If my assumptions are accurate, I believe that there may be even more of these 'Space Pirates' infesting this ruined space station," he estimated, voicing his concern. "In short, gentlemen…we are not alone."
The oft-expressed and rather clichéd phrase caused Eddy to cringe with worry and Ed to grin with excitement - they were now dealing with real-life, non-fictional aliens.
"Then let's find that time machine thing before we get turned into alien food!" suggested Eddy as he began walking toward the door located at the other end of the curved walkway, now relatively enthused to get the heck out of the vicinity and away from this new biological threat that could potentially end their lives. "Come on, Ed!"
Ever-obedient, Ed followed Eddy as he passed, muttering "Freaky space aliens, Double Dee!" with an exuberant laugh. Edd, sighing with exhaustion though now relatively racked with fright, followed suit.
And so on they pressed, delving deeper into the thoroughly ruined frigate as they searched high and low for a time machine, or any similar apparatus, for that matter, that might allow them to return to their home. However, despite their excruciating efforts, they did not succeed in their search, and, despite Ed's ever-jovial mood due to the fact that he and his friends were now placed in a science fiction-like scenario, the group's morale was now dropping to a dangerously low level.
Their twenty-minute search had eventually led the Eds into yet another biological laboratory of rather immense size, containing two distinct levels – they were located on the first floor, from what they could determine. The room had contained one, fifteen foot tall cryogenic tank, behind which was what seemed to be a wall-less elevator that led to the walkway above. Additionally, the walls seemed to be lined with other, non-translucent storage tanks – Edd had imagined that they contained a variety of different creatures, but they seemed unidentifiable. What were identifiable, though, were the contents of the massive cryogenic tank located near the elevator.
"Coo-hool!" muttered Ed upon noticing the seemingly frozen creature in the tank, trying to come up with a science fiction movie to relate it to. Before he could, though, Eddy had interjected with a comment of his own.
"What is with this place and giant bugs?!" shouted Eddy in disgust, trying to block the creature from his field of vision by lifting his arm cannon in front of his face (when he could have just as easily looked away). "It's like its trying to make me gag or something!"
What the Eds were gawking at was, or at least it seemed to be, an incredibly, almost sickly thin version of the deceased insect that they had seen before – the fact that it was seemingly devoid of a definable layer of skin had been its most defining feature. Needless to say, it was perhaps the largest skeleton the Eds had ever seen, and its admittedly monstrous figure, complete with a prominent rib cage, its head that was primarily comprised of a gaping mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, and its bloated insectoid figure was what made this creature both quite bizarre and sickening to behold. Though Ed had paid no mind to the grotesqueness of the beast – the sheer unbelievability of this creature was what made it a magnificent sight from his perspective.
Thus, Ed duly stated, "Whoa…cool!" with an additional "It looks like the beetle mutant from 'Galaxy Cruisers: A Mission on the Sun'!"
And so Ed and Eddy continued to gawk at the beast in all aspects, including wonder, disgust, and fright, and Eddy began to wonder what sort of sick image he was branding into his mind and why the heck he was staring at it for so long. Then came the obligatory question that had become quite common in their venture thus far: "Where's Double Dee? I bet he'd think this is sooooo intriguing…"
"You are correct, Eddy," came Edd's voice from the elevator located just beside the sizeable cryogenic tank, prodding his visor whilst gazing at the overblown specimen, then at a series of turquoise-screened terminals laid out before it, then back to the specimen once again. "Though this arthropod is quite massive considering the extensive famillae that I've studied, what strikes me as astounding is the fact that this was, in fact, not it's original size."
Eddy was stumped, obviously, and so was Ed (even more obviously) – Edd did not need to be an emotional analyst to infer that.
Thus he continued his dissertation. "According to my scan visor, the Space Pirates, similar to the foul creature that we encountered some time ago, have recently begun a 'mutagenic program' of some sort, allowing them to modify specimens such as simple beetles into monstrosities such as these, most likely increasing exoskeleton durability, overall dexterity in the limbs, and whatnot."
Ed and Eddy's overall stumpage had remained intact – their confused and confounded stares pierced through Edd's soul like a kitchen knife through melted ice cream (which, in fact, sounded pretty appetizing right now, though Edd had always preferred his ice cream in a solid state).
"The Space Pirates are mutating these poor animals into these hideous monstrosities, gentlemen!" explained Edd, trying to evoke some form of comprehension in them – he thoroughly succeeded, of course, for Ed had always been a fan of fictional mutations, and nonfictional ones sounded much more exciting.
"The 'how' and the 'why' are still a mystery to me, though, as my scan visor does not seem to be able to infer that data…" he muttered as he prodded the upper right side of his visor thoughtfully as his two companions listened on, their interest piqued. "Oh, and it might interest you to know that we are presently located on the Space Pirate Frigate Orpheon, currently in orbit above the terrestrial planet of Tallon IV."
Eddy's mouth hung open in disbelief and, obviously, fright upon hearing this last morsel of information. "You mean…we're on a Space Pirate ship?!" he stammered, his voice rising as he came to this horrid realization. This was completely unprecedented – in the movies that he had seen in the past, the heroes almost never made it off of the alien warships alive…would this ordeal have a similar outcome?
Ed, on the contrary, jumped for joy before heading over to the elevator at which Edd was situated, clapping his left hand against his arm cannon in some form of applause. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" he repeated excitedly, totally unaware of the dangers to which they were now exposed. "Ed must see the evil Space Pirate base and gross mutated monsters!"
Ignoring his friend's jovial, science-fiction-based rantings, Eddy hesitantly submitted and joined his friends on the elevator (which seemed automatic, for upon stepping on it, it lifted the group upward and onto the upper walkway).
"So, if this is a Space Pirate ship," began Eddy as the trio stepped off of the elevator and made their way across the walkway that circled around the room, whose wall was lined with more closed-off specimen containment tanks. "There's gotta be some big techanologicical stuff around, which means there's gotta be a time machine…right, Double Dee?"
Edd, though not completely certain of the entire time machine situation and relatively ticked off by Eddy's constant mispronunciations, had to admit that the idea was appealing to some degree. "That's 'technological', Eddy," he groaned as he looked at his friend in disdain. "But if the Space Pirates can construct advanced apparatuses such as these cryogenic tanks as well as this entire ship as a whole, then there is most probably a-"
Edd was suddenly cut short when a familiar-looking barrage of red energy projectiles whizzed by his and his friends heads and hitting the walls behind them. In panic, the Eds quickly looked ahead of them and saw yet another malevolent, snarling Space Pirate firing at them (and missing, at that – this Pirate appeared to be heavily wounded, much like the previous one).
Without thinking, both Edd and Eddy ducked behind Ed's mirthful figure and peeked out from behind him, trembling in fear. "Take it out, monobrow!" ordered Eddy with a quivering, high-pitched voice as he pointed at the disabled alien, hoping to provoke Ed into actually seeing it – a hopeless attempt, but a respected one.
Edd, knowing better than to give Ed an order and expecting him to follow through with it correctly, was about to interject by telling his companions to simply run for it. However, Ed's bellowing voice had sounded before his own, manifested in a characteristic Ed-phrase of "You got it, Eddy!"
Obviously, Ed exhibited an unusual amount of prowess in the art of firing his arm cannon – a swift slew of about thirty Power shots tore through the Space Pirate's hardy skin with incredible precision. Though Edd had been covering his ears for fear that the firing of the cannon would be painful-sounding, he could see that the Space Pirate had emitted a pained, guttural roar as it staggered back, propelled in that direction by the barrage of Ed's well-aimed Power blasts, and toppled over the railing at the edge of the walkway, falling to the floor below and, apparently, to its death.
Lowering his arm cannon, Ed triumphantly turned to his thoroughly amazed companions, who had finally risen after the impressive display, saluted, and stoutly stated "Aliens have been eliminated, Eddy! Can I have a cookie?"
Eddy did not hear his request, though – he was too preoccupied with wiping the laughter-construed tears off of his face. "You're a freak, Ed!" he laughed as he grabbed Ed's comparatively high shoulder, leaning against it as he clutched his quickly-cramping sides. "You should've been born a Space Outlaw, or whatever it was!"
Of course, any praise directed toward Ed's likeness to a fabled galactic space warrior was always welcome, and hearing it from Eddy was perhaps the zenith of his existence…well, at least during the past five minutes. "I was born in a hospital, Eddy!" he explained, attempting to give clarification to the truth behind his creation. "My mom told me that I came out of a-"
"Stop!" barked Edd as he waved his hands in panic, prompting both Ed and Eddy to turn around and gawk at him in confusion. "Please, Ed, why don't we continue our search? You can tell us all about your conception once we're at least eighteen years old. Sound good?"
Eddy, realizing that Ed had just been about to go into frighteningly mundane detail, found himself having to agree with his biology-inclined friend. "Yeah, uh," he stammered as his mind displayed horrifying images of Ed's birth against his will. "I really want to get out of this freakin' Space Pirate birthday party." Thus he walked past both Edd and Ed and continued across the elevated walkway and toward an eventual exit. Ed and Edd both shrugged, coming to a silent conclusion that Eddy had just assumed a nonchalant leadership role…or maybe they were just imagining things.
Thirty minutes of a fruitless time machine scavenger hunt throughout the Orpheon had brought Ed, Edd and Eddy to yet another one of many elevator rooms that they had seen before – the sight of them had caused Ed to convulse with the concept of swimming in the tumultuous "Gravy Ocean", Edd to ponder about the overall size of the Space Pirate frigate, and Eddy to become nearly sick.
At this point, even Edd had practically waived the thought of ever locating an ambiguous time machine construct in this wrecked ship from his mind. Both he and Eddy would have come to the same conclusion if Edd had not been able to disguise his feelings of hopelessness so articulately:
At this rate, they were never going to get back home.
The elevator's rail was positioned on a rather long slope instead of the usual vertical orientation seen in hospitals and the like – it seemed to be similar to a downward-traveling chair lift. As it moved to the lower level of the chamber they had entered, the Eds said nothing, keeping to their own ambiguous, private thoughts – only the whirring of the sliding lift could be heard.
It was when the elevator had reached the midpoint of the rail that Eddy finally blurted out "This is both your faults."
Letting out an exasperated sigh of disgust, Edd rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms, signifying impatience with his stout companion. "Oh, stop it, Eddy!" he hissed, annoyed with the fact that Eddy was, yet again, attempting to resurrect yet another recurring quarrel. "I'm sure we'll find a time machine, or at least something similar here."
Likewise tired of hearing this overworked excuse, Eddy faced Edd with a snarl of contempt spread across his face. "You've been saying that for the past hour, Sockhead!" he barked directly in Edd's stern face. "Face it! We're all gonna…we're all gonna die in this dump! Your plan didn't work, Double Dee! Pfft, some genius you are!"
Edd normally would have waived this and passed it off as pointless babbling - however, nobody, absolutely nobody insulted his factually impressive intellect and lived to tell the tale! After hearing Eddy's shrewd and cruel insult, he promptly faced his comparatively shorter companion, bearing his teeth in a similar snarl.
"Don't bring my attempts at actually trying to save us from this predicament into this argument, mister!" he growled back, staring straight into Eddy's eyes in a pathetic attempt to intimidate him into mental submission. "Honestly, if you can think of a better way to send us hurtling ten-thousand light-years straight back to our cul-de-sac, I'm all ears!"
Eddy simply shook off this reflected verbal attack and retorted with yet another condescending comment (an ability that he was quite well-versed at). "You just don't wanna admit it!" he accused as the elevator finally slowed to a stop on the lower level of the chamber, its thick, glass-paned automatic door sliding open, revealing a rather sizeable, garage-sized chamber complete with a considerably massive, ceiling-high metallic door on the other side. "Face it, Sockhead. You failed." A smug, triumphant smirk formed across his face, and Edd was left speechless, his tongue stumbling across formless words in frustration.
"Uh, guys?" blurbed Ed from the sideline, apparently looking at something positioned within the sizeable chamber ahead of them. He quickly raised his arm cannon and attempted to take careful aim at whatever he was staring at in fright.
Initially, both Edd and Eddy had wanted to respond with an anger-fueled shout of "What?!" accompanied by staring their befuddled companion down, but the sight of Ed pointing his arm cannon in the direction of the chamber located before them had caused them to change their minds and, instead, turned their heads and looked into the room. One second later, they had both jumped back further into the sizeable elevator chamber, screamed in surprise, and hoisted up their arm cannons, pointing them threateningly at the Space Pirate staring them down from about eight feet away.
The problem this time was that this Pirate was not wounded in any way whatsoever – it was in prime condition, and optimized for the kill.
It proved this ability quite effectively when, instead of firing its arm cannon at the trio from a distance, it opted instead to charge the group at full speed – unfortunately, it was too fast for the Eds to maintain a good sighting on it, and because of this, it gave the Pirate the opportunity to swiftly grab Eddy by the throat and lift him up into the air, using its rather hefty arm cannon as a cudgel with which to strike Ed across the cranium with a well-placed horizontal swing, knocking him into the metallic right wall of the lift. Edd was, fortunately enough, spared, at least for the moment.
"Eddy!" screamed Edd in terror as he looked first at Ed sail across the chamber and slam into the wall with a sickening crash, and then he looked at Eddy struggling for air as he clawed at the growling Pirate's three-fingered grip. Knowing that this would be his only chance to take action, and even though his mind was thoroughly racked with panic and horror, Edd remembered a technique that his visor had previously alluded to. "Hold on, Eddy!"
Positioned about two feet directly behind the adrenaline-drunk Space Pirate, Edd pointed his arm cannon at its noticeably lightly-armored back and slowly relaxed his right hand and let his fingers and thumb stretch outward as if he were placing it on some sort of surface. He winced with apprehension and his legs quivered with fright (as he generally abhorred violence of any sort – however, these were desperate times, and he knew what those times usually called for) as the barrel of his arm cannon slowly widened, becoming about twice as large as it was before.
At the tip of the barrel through which a volley of energy blasts would normally fly, a luminescent, scorching hot, yellow-colored energy ball about the size of Edd's skull suddenly but slowly grew and took on a spherical shape. The magnitude of the energy contained within the glowing sphere had caused Edd's arm cannon to shake intensely, so much that he had begun to wonder whether it would explode in his face and therefore remove his right arm completely.
Letting out a scream and wishing he could cover his ears to drown out the resulting sound, he finally launched what his visor supposedly called a "Charge Beam shot" at point blank range.
The Pirate was immediately sent lurching forward as the energy blast exploded into his back, effectively severing its spinal cord completely, thoroughly incinerating its faded-purple skin, and causing a sudden spurt of forest-green ooze (which appeared to be the Pirate's blood) to spill onto the ground in front of Edd's feet – upon seeing this, Edd finally realized that he apparently had some sort of hemophobic condition and therefore stumbled back and onto his posterior in shock. However, he had done his work effectively, as the Pirate was now doomed to a vastly shorter life of pain and eternal suffering.
At that point, Eddy felt the heavily-wounded Pirate's grip loosen, and, seizing the opportunity and now stricken with a rather sudden burst of adrenaline, pried off the alien's hand and, instead of dropping to the ground, scrambled onto its rather oversized shoulders and balancing himself on them. Letting out a rage-filled, primal scream that one might expect of an infuriated Ed (as rare as that was, of course), he lifted his hefty arm cannon high above his head and brought it down on the Pirate's own head with such surprising force that it immediately fractured its skull in at least four different critical areas.
Following this, Eddy jumped off of the Pirate's shoulders, the downward force caused by his legs sending the Pirate instantly collapsing onto the metallic floor, now saturated in a fine but thin puddle of its own intergalactic, space mutant blood.
He looked ahead of him and into the chamber that was laid out before him, but obstructing his sight were two noticeably taller figures that were, fortunately, more recognizable to Eddy than the Pirate: his two wide-eyed, jaw-dropped friends, who were staring it him with two entirely different types of awe.
Ed, of course, was currently allowing his mind to flip through its abstract yet extremely brief dictionary of words with which to extensively praise both Eddy and Edd on the "awesome moves" they had just pulled off quite perfectly.
Edd, of course, knew that he needed to take desperate measures in order to save his companion from being strangled to death by an alien life form – however, the sight of blood, and in such a large quantity at that, had always stricken him with a grueling case of nausea, and he was rendered aghast at Eddy's shockingly brutal deathblow…there were no words to describe it.
Even Eddy was wondering to himself, What the heck did I just do?! I…I didn't mean to break its head open like an egg!
He had just been about to verbalize these thoughts in order to defend himself, but Edd had already turned around and head into the chamber, with Ed obediently following him as he located a small and rusty but apparently operational lever to the immediate right of the gargantuan metallic door laid out before them.
"We did what we were required to do in such a situation," explained Edd in a quivering voice as he pulled the lever down with his left hand, causing an unsettling rumbling to fill the room with a grinding sound as the mechanisms behind the doorway whistled and churned, causing it to slowly open. "After all, Eddy," he remarked, turning around and facing Eddy, who had now joined up with him and Ed in the chamber, pointing at the deceased Space Pirate located in the elevator lift well behind them. "That could have been us."
The surprising and uncharacteristic words pierced Eddy's mind like a spear through a loaf of bread. The back of his eyeballs became sore and the roof of his mouth became unsettlingly dry as he came to that realization.
Ed, of course, had no idea what was going on – he only knew that he and his two best friends were kicking the dust out of these evil aliens! Due to this, he was still left speechless, though he constantly emitted a low-frequency laugh that could probably only be perceived by a whale.
The gargantuan portal had, after about ten seconds, finally ceased rumbling and churning and had slowly opened from behind the group. Hoping to locate the technological apparatus that they were tirelessly searching for during this past hour-and-a-half, the three Eds immediately turned around and faced the chamber lying behind the giant door, a glimmer of hope in their eyes…and almost threw up on the spot.
Space Pirates. About fifteen of them. Lying on the ground. Covered in dark, forest-green ooze. The floor, the walls, the Pirates…everything was covered in this thin, green slime… Pirate blood. Pirates with broken backs, broken arms…broken everything…some Pirates were only half there…they were cut in half, cut into fourths…
These Space Pirates were cut in half and lying dead on the ground!
"I am going to be ill!" screamed Edd as he promptly ran into the corner, his face now a light puce color. The Eds, out of respect and distaste for already-eaten-waffles, immediately looked away as Edd proceeded to be "ill."
Eddy promptly covered his eyes in disgust and bid Ed to do the same as they waited for their black-beanied friend to find balance and finally become oriented again, all while trying to avoid the horror scene spread out before them.
"D-don't look, E-Ed!" stammered Eddy through clenched teeth as he closed his eyes as tightly as he could as they rested under the palm of his left hand as well as the broadside of his arm cannon. He was now most definitely scarred for life, the grotesque image burned into his memory like a searing brand.
"This is just like in 'Gebgah: Lord of the Jell-O Monster!' It's the part where the evil Jell-O beast sucks the brains out of its victims and-" began Ed, about to go on yet another science-fiction-related tangent before Edd finally cut him off from the corner of the room.
"Stop, Ed!" stammered their endurance-lacking friend as he stumbled his way back to his friends, shielding his eyes from the slew of expired Space Pirates laid out in the chamber before them. "Please… We have to go back, now! I'm not taking one step further into that deathtrap! I mean…just look at that!" At this point, the time machine search was officially over as far as he was concerned – now he was only concerned with the fact that he and his companions might be "next."
The next thing he and Eddy knew, however, Ed had swiftly and unnoticeably grabbed a firm hold of their free wrists (with only one hand, at that) and charged straight forward in a bull rush through the unceremonial and unorthodox Pirate graveyard, letting out an adrenaline-fueled scream of disgust, excitement, and a love of chickens as he plowed through the scattered corpses. What the heck was he doing? Naturally, this was the thought that was currently being screamed out loud in both Edd and Eddy's panicked minds, and the only verbalization they could perform was in the form of shrieks of terror and disgust.
Due to the fact that Ed was, at the same time, shielding his eyes with the broadside of his arm cannon, his ability to see properly was totally disabled, and therefore, he did not notice that at the edge of the Pirate-filled chamber was a well-placed ledge. Completely oblivious and both enjoying himself and feeling an intense sensation of fright, he and his companions fell out of the small room and down to the floor about ten feet below. Thankfully, they had each landed safely (on their posteriors, of course – guaranteed cushioning) on the ground, albeit with three eyebrow-furrowing pangs, one for each Ed.
Rather surprisingly, Ed had wasted no time in promptly standing up and scouting his surroundings, bearing a stern and dutiful look on his face while his friends lay on the ground – at least he was a loyal Space Outlaw, always on the lookout for danger, just like in the movies! Though he could not understand exactly what he was looking at, he knew what he was seeing, at least.
Apparently, he and his companions had fallen off of an upper ledge located inside a massive, circular, baseball stadium-sized chamber with a ceiling that rose completely out of sight, shrouded in unperceivable darkness. There was no floor present in the room – only a circular walkway was present that led to a presently barred-off exit and circled around what appeared to be a gargantuan cryogenic tank (albeit without the conventional glass-like barrier that normally came complete with the stereotypical chamber) that was about as tall as the room itself: immeasurable. It looked as if one could fit an entire house, perhaps even multiple ones stacked on top of each other, inside of it. But Ed did not know that, of course, and appropriately laughed in confused response.
He heard a couple of strained groans from behind him but ultimately paid them no mind – even he knew that Edd and Eddy were both rising to their feet and rubbing their sore derrieres with their free hands. Naturally, the first thing that Eddy could think of doing once he finally regained balance and comfort in his butt was looking around and trying to figure out where the heck they were, while Edd basically ignored all other things that had just taken place and immediately broke out his handy scan visor.
"Ed, you are an idiot!" barked Eddy as he circled around Ed and stared directly into his face in contempt – after such a long day, he was clearly not amused anymore, and certainly not in this situation. "You just love getting me ticked off, don't ya? Don't ya?!"
Ed raised his finger in solitary repose, considered the basic foundations of ancient civilizations and tied them together with his affection toward gravy and X's-and-O's, eventually coming up with a verbal solution, which he immediately proposed with closed eyes and a pompous look on his face: "I love canoes, Eddy." Thus it had been spoken – thus it had been done.
Eddy had just been about to slap Ed across the face in order to release himself from all of his pent-up rage, but a surprising interjection from Edd had drawn his attention elsewhere. "Oh…my…word," muttered Edd with gaping eyes as he stared in wonder at the massive cryogenic-like tank located in the very center of the colossal chamber, prodding his visor and then turning to his companions with a refreshingly wide smile stretched across his visibly worn out face. "Gentlemen, we have reached the 'Reactor Core', the very center and power source of the Orpheon! I realize that both of you don't care about the details, but guess what the good news is?!"
"Just spit it ou-" began Eddy with a rushed and harsh tone in his voice, about to smack a random person upside the head due to his immense impatience. However, Edd had been too excited to spill the beans to waste any more time.
"This gargantuan Reactor Core, if tweaked properly, can be used as a double apparatus with two very different functions!" continued Edd, his voice nearly cracking as it raised exponentially in both pitch and volume – he was about to reveal the greatest news that any of them had heard ever since they had arrived in his basement back on Earth. "It could be used as an energy source that can power this downed vessel, or it can be used as an unorthodox time machine!"
As soon as he had even mouthed the words time machine, both Ed and Eddy immediately jumped high into the air with wide smiles across their faces as they laughed hysterically in their own signature fashions, screaming "Woohoo!" at the very top of their lungs, their voices echoing off of the metallic walls of the stadium-sized Core chamber.
Ed began to clap his left hand against his arm cannon as he jovially skipped around in hopeful delight. "Does this mean we get to go home and eat lots of cotton candy and pie? And pudding skin, Double Dee?!" He was undoubtedly getting his hopes up way too high, and for good reason, too.
"Double Dee, you're a genius!" cried Eddy as his eyes opened extremely widely as he gazed at the colossal Reactor in the center of the chamber hopefully – this was the apparatus that would get them off of the Orpheon, away from the Space Pirates…and back home to Peach Creek! What was more, it was still early enough to sneak a scam or two in before sundown – always a sweet deal according to Eddy. "What are you waiting for? Fix it, fix it, fix it!" He began jumping up and down in place, his overexcitement practically oozing out of every pore in his skin.
Even Edd was displaying obvious signs of radical hyperactivity, as he could hardly keep still himself…who could have stayed in one spot and kept calm at a time like this, anyway? They were finally about to return home!
"Right away, Eddy!" assured Edd, a flutter in his voice and an inventive gleam in his eyes as he began tweaking his visor in hopes of finding any data that would be useful to him during the "Core-tweaking" process, though he was certain that he could probably perform the maintenance himself. "I'll just configure the Core to the correct settings, and I'll have us home in no ti-"
A hollow, gut-wrenching crashing sound coming from the direction of the infinitely tall ceiling had cut off Edd's speech, as well as the Eds' jovial activities altogether. This was followed by yet another loud clanging sound, and then another, and another…something was happening at the top of the Reactor Core.
Wondering what in the world could have been happening at that height at a time such as this, Ed, Edd and Eddy looked upward in order to identify the source of the disturbance.
A deafening, behemoth-like roar instantly filled the room as the Eds stared in immense horror at the gargantuan, mansion-sized creature that could and most likely would undoubtedly end their lives possibly within the next ten seconds.
They had found the time machine that they needed in order to return home – all hope had finally returned, and they had known that they were in the clear. They knew that if this beast had not unexpectedly crawled down from the top of the Orpheon's Reactor Core and inadvertently heard and spotted them, they would have most likely been on their way to their houses back on Earth, ready to scam up a storm and rake in the Jawbreakers. Apparently, it was not fated to happen like that. Not in the least.
An adrenaline-filled, fully alive, and frighteningly furious insect equal in magnitude to the dead ones the Eds had seen earlier on in the frigate was staring down at them with tiny, hungry eyes, its gaping mandibles oozing green slime and fresh Space Pirate blood as it caught the first glimpse of its next three-course meal.
Truly, it was all over for Ed, Edd and Eddy.
