Chapter Two: All Aboard The Cuckoo Train! Medusa Causes A Ruckus?

"I've never been on a train before," Maka murmured, looking out the window from where she sat. She could see the beautiful landscape of Nevada speeding past her, and she looked over at Soul. "Isn't it wonderful? ...Soul?"

"I forgot to mention, I have a phobia of trains," Soul whimpered, hiding under the table. The two were sitting in the dining car, and the table was just big enough for him to crawl under. "Siderodromophobia is what it's called."

"Geez, Soul, warn me before you use big words next time," Maka told him, rolling her eyes. "Now get out from under there, you big scardy-cat, there's nothing that's going to hurt you." Soul was obviously displeased, but he crawled out from under the table anyway and sat next to Maka, crossing his arms and frowning.

"The last time I was on a train I had a very...bad experience," Kid sighed, watching as Patti gawked out of the window and Liz did her nails. "I hope we won't have to shoot anyone."

"Trees!" Patti remarked as she looked out of the window. "Trees are green!"

"Man, I'm starving, got any food on this train?" Black Star yawned, sinking low into his seat. "Tsubaki, go get me some food!"

"I'm sure if we wait for just a minute, we'll get some food," Tsubaki told her meister. "There should be some sort of service or something..."

"GIMMIE CANDY LADY," Ragnarok, who'd come out from his hiding place inside Crona's body, demanded to Maka.

"If I said no, will you shut up and go away?" Maka asked, trying oh so very hard not to hit Ragnarok, because if she did she might end up hurting Crona, and Crona was her BFFOREVERPLZ and she didn't want to hurt him.

"No," Ragnarok replied, crossing his little arms and tossing his adorable yet annoying little head. Muttering something under her breath, Maka pulled out some candies from her pocket and gave it to Ragnarok, who squeed with joy and ate them, and then, thankfully, shut up.

"At least Excalibur isn't here," Kid sighed happily. "Then he'd be boring us all with his long and stupid stories about nothing."

"At least my father gets to ride in the adult section of the cars," Maka also sighed happily. "Then I don't have to worry about attempting to avoid him."

"At least Medusa isn't here," Crona also sighed happily for once. "Then I don't have to hide under things."

"I wouldn't say that too quickly," Ragnarok commented. "The authoress told me that—"

SHUT UP RAGNAROK! *book throw* Anyway, the next few minutes of the trip were silent, before they approached another station and the train started to slow down.

"I wonder who we're picking up now," Maka wondered out loud, scrambling over to the other side of the aisle and looking out the window. Looking back on the situation, she was glad she'd just kept her mouth shut, or else there would've been more trouble.

"I don't see why I have to ride in this stupid, cramped, stuffy train with the rest of you, I can drive you know," Giriko growled under his breath as he was pushed forward onto the train by a certain red-haired conductor. And if you don't know him shame on you.

"Stop whining, you vulgar hoodlum," Goo-I mean, Mosquito replied to him, hopping on the train after him since he was so damn short. God, why is he so short? And annoying, and has a long pointy nose—never mind, we're getting off track.

Humming to his music and nodding his head as usual, Justin Law boarded the train after them, completely ignoring everything around him as he did. And then, behind him sauntered...

Free and Eruka? And Medusa? I swore I killed her though! Maka thought, then dove under the window to hide her face in case Medusa were to see her.

Nah, the authoress offered me rejuvenation if I agreed to fight against the weeaboos! She said my magic would come in handy.

What the? How did you get in my head Medusa?

I didn't. This is a fanfiction taking place in Anime Crossroads, anyone can read anyone's thoughts in fanfiction.

Really? Better not tell that to Soul then. Maka would've continued the conversation; then she reminded herself she was talking to a witch and stopped talking/thinking. If that's possible.

Meanwhile, in the adult's car

"WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!" The adults were busy screaming like children and pointing at Medusa and Eruka, who looked at each other with "pshaw child's play" looks and little smirks on their faces. Free was busy scratching himself behind his ear with his left foot, like any normal person would do, so he wasn't really paying attention to the screaming people.

"Everybody, calm down," the red-haired conductor, Claire yelled over the screaming. "Don't worry, they're supposed to be here."

"Dare I ask why?" Azusa, who'd dove under a tablecloth in surprise asked, poking her head out from under it.

"Don't ask me, the Head General just wanted it to be that way," Claire replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Anyway, if you guys try to kill each other then I'll have to throw you off the train! Says the Head General again. Don't worry, you'll respawn, this is approaching Anime Crossroads territory after all."

"What's respawn mean?" Spirit asked. Nobody bothered to answer him.

The next part of the trip was somewhat quiet, with the two opposing sides sitting on opposite sides of the train and staring intently at each other. Except for Justin. He was too busy dancing to his own music. Finally, somebody had to snap.

"I can't TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Giriko wailed, jumping out of his seat. "Somebody open a window or something! This is crazy! I need air, fresh AIR!" He then proceeded to run around in crazed circles, before Marie whacked him with her hammer.

"Calm yo' tits!" She told him. "It won't be long, according to this cute little pamphlet I got, we should be there pretty soon." Her words did no good, however, seeing how her hit knocked him out cold. Well, she still took care of the problem...

Meanwhile, Stein was having problems of his own.

"Hey there Stein~" Medusa purred, sitting seductively on the table in front of him. "It's been a while."

"What the—? Medusa, get off my table! Why are you looking at me like that? And why are you batting your eyelashes?" The professor, obviously confused and somewhat terrified asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, team up with me? You know, to fight weeaboos?" The snake witch leaned in closer, putting her arms around Stein's shoulders. "You know you want to~"

"Hell no woman! The last time we teamed up you almost killed me!"

"Almost."

"Too close for comfort!" He cried. "Spirit, help me out buddy!"

"No can do, Stein," the red-head replied. "There are some things I just won't do."

"Damnit!" Stein cursed, attempting unsuccessfully to get away from the snake witch. "Why do these things happen to meeee?"

"We're here!" A rather loud and obnoxious voice called over the intercom-thingie, or whatever they have in trains, and the locomotive finally came to a screeching stop. "Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle until it has come to a complete stop, and enjoy your stay at the Anime Crossroads~"

Finally separating himself from Medusa, Stein scrambled to the front of the car as quickly as possible. "The battlefield awaits!" he called, climbing onto Susan. "Onward, troops!"

And so, the battle had begun, but they hadn't even stepped foot onto the battlegrounds yet.

[ME: Well, there's chapter two for you.

CRONA: Nooo, why did you have to bring her back!

ME: Don't worry Crona, I'm sure she'll be much too interested in her "Steiney" to bother you.

STEIN: *from a locked room* HELP! HELP! I NEED AN ADULT!

MEDUSA: Come here Steiney~ You know you want to team up with me!

JUSTIN: This is gonna be more fun than the time I killed a man, but that's a different story for a different time kids.

SOUL: 'Ey, who you callin' a kid?

ME: That's enough you guys! Now, assorted cast, please say your lines.

ALL: REVIEW OR DIE.

ME: Thanks guys! On the next installment of 300 Anime Characters; Become One With Psycho Girl! Liz's Plan For Weeaboo Ass-Kicking? Watch out, the action's about to start!

GIRIKO: *still k.o'ed* Unicorns...]