Chapter Three - Broken
Raven had wondered how long she could keep it up. The answer was only three months.
In between eating like a whale and vomiting up her guts at various hours of the day, Raven tried to continue life as a Titan. She even went shopping with Starfire and helped Cyborg with his car. Her volatile mood swings were interpreted solely as Raven being Raven.
But Beast Boy she avoided. Something about his wide-eyed innocence, the way that he never seemed offended by her stubborn refusal to spend any time alone with him. It frustrated, infuriated her. How had he never even considered using protection?
But she wasn't really mad. She was desperate. The second she got close to him, the second that his animal senses picked up what was growing within her, they were done for, and he was out. She knew how this worked. Men never stayed with the pregnant girlfriend.
Especially not ugly, half-demon girlfriends, possibly carrying another spawn of Satan.
Great fucking idea, Raven. Sleep with the green kid. This is the last time you ever trust your instincts.
At night she examined herself in the mirror. Wearing street clothes or her loose night-dresses, her small bump was hardly noticeable. It just looked like she'd eaten a really big meal. But leotards were unforgiving.
One day, after defeating another villain, the team trooped back to the Tower, utterly exhausted. Raven was already upset that her noonday feast had been interrupted, and she was starving. As they all sat down on the couch and began to argue about what to eat, Raven sat down beside them, slouched down, and thought that a nap sounded like such a good idea.
Robin's voice died from the conversation. In between the frantic arguing of the other three, Raven opened her eyes.
Robin, sitting beside her, was staring at her stomach. Sitting on the couch, her back arched slightly, her bump rose up like a goddamned mountain. There was absolutely no way he would think she'd just eaten a big deal.
She swirled her cloak around her and vanished from the room. It was time for a new plan.
Azarath, as always, was quiet. She walked quickly through the streets, nodding to monks and nuns who greeted her. Her mother's house stood out, a tall white tower in a sea of low color. She flew up, ignoring her pounding heart, and at once her worst fears were confirmed.
Arella was waiting for her. And she already knew.
"Raven, what were you – "
"Mother, I don't know," she said. "I wasn't really thinking at all, okay? But I need somewhere to stay for a while. At least to figure out what to do."
"Until what? Until you give birth to a child you are unprepared to raise?"
Raven winced. She'd never heard her mother speak like this before, her voice devoid of any warmth or comfort.
"Mother, I'm sorry. I didn't intend for this to happen. But it has, and I just – "
"It's he, isn't it. Garfield."
Now she openly cringed. The only time she had ever called Beast Boy by his real name was that night. To hear her mother say it – to know that she knew – felt like a violation of something dark and private.
"Of course it's him," she whispered.
Arella sighed, the pigeons around her feet shuffling and clucking around. "And they have no idea."
"I don't want them to kick me out," she said.
"They would never make you leave, child. You're worried that he will leave you."
Her mother was taking a knife to her already broken heart, and Raven could hardly keep herself together. She wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to hold the falling pieces together.
"Mother, please."
Her cracked, sobbing voice finally touched Arella. The woman walked forward and placed a hand on Raven's shoulders. Without saying a word, she led her inside, leaving the pigeons to cluck stupidly at the tears splattering the ground.
"You're going to Azarath?"
"There's a war over there. They need me. Since my father was so powerful, I can summon energies that they can't."
"But, Raven – "
"Don't worry about it, I'll be back as often as I can. I just don't think I can really go on missions very often anymore." Her eyes went to the ground. "I'm so sorry, guys."
"It's okay, Raven, we're not mad." Robin stood up. "Just concerned. You haven't really been acting like yourself lately."
Jesus, he'd already noticed! "I'm fine, just a little distracted." She made a point to not raise her arms, keeping her cloak covering her entire body. "It's just for a while. Once the war is over, then I can come back and continue being a real Titan."
"Do what you must do, friend," Starfire said.
"Yeah, you know there's always a place for you here," Cyborg chimed in.
She smiled, and finally found the strength to meet Beast Boy's eyes.
He offered her a sad smile. "We'll miss you."
Raven fought back tears. "It's not for long, I promise."
Beast Boy opened his mouth, probably to say something adorable and loving, but before he could, she lost her nerve and backed completely out of the room.
There was only so much that a broken girl like her could handle.
Hey guys! Sorry for the boringness of the story so far, but I promise it picks up next chapter! Please review, I appreciate every one :) Thanks for reading! Love - PVB
