I DO NOT OWN FINAL FANTASY VII. I wanted this to be a little different, but I saved some of what was going to happen for the next chapter.
SHIVER
Part III
Releasing a heavy breath, Tifa pinned up her hair. With the last strand in place, she adjusted the hem of her skirt and rotated her foot on the tall heel of her shoe.
This is the moment I've been dreaming of my whole life…So why am I not excited about it?
Looking up into the mirror, she guessed she looked alright. Her knee length dress was plain and black. She had no money to buy a real wedding dress, not that it mattered; they were getting married by a judge at the courthouse. Perhaps a white dress wouldn't have been practical; after all, they were riding to the courthouse on Cloud's motorcycle.
But still, it would have been nice.
"I look like I'm going to a funeral." She sighed, doing her best to put on a smile.
"Tifa, are you ready?" Cloud called through the door.
"Yes, I'm coming."
Stepping into the hall, Cloud met her with a sheepish grin. "You look nice."
"Thanks, you too." She said honestly; it was rare when Cloud got dressed up. She turned her head to the side as she glanced him up and down. He was wearing black slacks with a white shirt and a black jacket and tie. "Lose the tie."
"You don't like it?"
"You look like a Turk, chuck it."
Offering up a lopsided smile, Cloud loosened the tie, pulling it over his head, "Yes, dear."
"Look, we're acting like a married couple already." Tifa finally smiled for real. But it faltered. "Cloud, do you think this is alright, I mean, should we be doing this?"
"Why not? It's the best option for us, for now at least. If it doesn't work out, we can always get divorced I guess."
"I guess." Tifa wrung her hands together anxiously.
"Here, I got something for you." He handed her a small plastic bag with a bit of white tulle inside. "It's not much, but it's what I could get."
Tifa opened the bag, unfolded a shoulder length white veil on a comb. "Cloud…Thank you." At least she could have that much for her wedding day.
"Well come on, we need to be there by 10:00."
The courthouse was musty and gloomy. The lights flickered like there was a short in the wiring and the secretary barely acknowledged them as they sat waiting. In addition to Tifa and Cloud, there were six other couples getting married before noon that day, all of them surely marriages of convenience just like theirs.
At least we're not the only ones.
Tifa glanced around at the other couples, her stomach twisting. They all looked unhappy to be there, except one couple who seemed content as they held hands. She listened to them muttering and talking to one another, her hidden desire for some kind of drama coaxing her to eavesdrop. The happy couple was talking the loudest, the bride was wearing a white dress and the groom a tux, it seemed they had been planning a real wedding but had to get married ahead of schedule before the date – the fancy party would come later. Another couple featured a heavily pregnant bride, her maternity dress distressed at the seams. She looked happy with the arrangement but her husband-to-be would rather have been elsewhere. The rest of them appeared tired and bored, glancing at the clock and complaining about having to get to work that afternoon. Even Tifa and Cloud were starting to fidget.
"Strife and Lockheart," The clerk at the desk called as she handed them a folded document, "Here's your license, the judge will see you now."
They were led into a dark office, the only light afforded was from an open window. The judge was an older man in a dark grey suit, he seemed friendly enough but didn't bother to chitchat. Without any ado, the marriage was underway.
While the judge was busy reading, Tifa looked up into Cloud's face. He returned the favor and smiled at her, taking her hands in his own. Cloud wasn't the smiling type, so when he did it, it really meant something.
"Are you okay?" He mouthed, and she replied with a nod.
"…Do you have rings you'd like to exchange?" The judge said.
"Uh, yes." Cloud reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Inside were two plain silver bands and he handed the larger one to Tifa.
Tifa's hands trembled as she slid the ring onto Cloud's finger, repeating after the judge, "With this ring, I, thee wed."
Cloud followed in kind, sliding the ring onto Tifa's finger, "With this ring, I, thee wed."
"…I pronounce you husband and wife." He nodded as he folded his hands, "You may kiss your bride." The last bit sounded more like a joke than anything else, but Cloud blushed as his eyes met Tifa's.
Leaning in, Cloud drew in a breath and planted a kiss on Tifa's cheek. Needless to say it was anticlimactic and awkward. It left them both feeling embarrassed, especially since now the judge knew they weren't a real couple and, like the others, only got married because they had to.
The judge gave a piteous glance to Tifa who hung her head in shame as they signed the marriage license and left.
"So, what do you want to do now?" Cloud asked as they left the courthouse.
"Go home, I guess." She said as she waited for him to mount the motorcycle. "Barret will be back with the kids soon anyway."
"No, actually he told me he's taking them until day after tomorrow. So we can…I don't know, enjoy newlywed life for a day?"
"Oh, ok…" Tifa took up her position behind him. "It's too bad everyone couldn't have been here to see us get married." She removed the veil from her hair and shoved it into a saddlebag.
Cloud paused as he was about to start the engine. "We can have a real wedding later. I'll save up to get you a nice ring and a pretty dress. Would that make you happy?"
What would make me happy is if it would make you happy.
"Yes."
"Alright then." Cloud started the engine and headed home.
Tifa spent the first night of married life in her bed. Alone. A part of her hoped that maybe Cloud would want to at least share a room with her now that they were married, but nothing changed. Not even her name was changed.
Every day since was the same as it was before they got married.
What was she expecting? It was a marriage of convenience and nothing more than that. But she loved him, she always loved him.
Another week went by and Sephiroth had yet to return. She hoped that she'd at least get her weekly dose of sex and near death experiences, but even that drama seemed to have died. It was like nothing changed, Sephiroth was a bad dream and Cloud was…Cloud was just Cloud.
One night, after Tifa put the children to sleep, she was about to go to bed when Cloud peeked out his bedroom door.
"Tifa," He whispered, reaching out to grab her wrist.
"What is it?"
"Come in please?" He opened the door and let her in, locking it behind her.
A chill drifted over her as her face flushed with heat. She was in Cloud's bedroom…She bit her lip and crossed her arms around herself. "What's up, Cloud?"
"Come sit beside me." He sat down on his bed.
She humored him, taking a seat and remaining quiet.
"Tifa," Cloud sighed, "Look…I noticed that since we got married, you've been acting kind of depressed. Well actually, you've been like that for a while, but you've gotten worse since then."
"What of it?"
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
Tifa didn't look at him, she just shook her head unsure of where to start. "I'm your wife but I mean nothing to you."
"That's not true." Cloud took her shoulders, trying to turn her toward him. "You're my best friend."
"Yeah, I'm just your friend. Cloud, I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for you to ask me to marry you. I've been hoping and waiting for years…But now that we've done it, it just feels wrong."
"You think I don't love you the way you love me."
"I know you don't." She brushed at her eye, daring the tears to breach her lids.
Cloud didn't speak, he just looked at her, watching her face and the way she rubbed her hands together.
"I know it's late and you probably don't want to, but…I was wondering if we could…consummate our marriage?"
Tifa snapped her head up, her eyes wide. "Really?" Her heart began fluttering and she felt a little ill, but in a good way.
"I'm sorry, I know that sounded dumb…I just have never known how to ask for sex. I've actually wanted to do it with you for a while."
Tifa's eyes got watery and she started to giggle softly. "You never knew how to ask? Well, 'Hey Tifa, I want to have sex with you', would have done the trick."
Cloud blushed, "Yeah well, do you know how hard it is to tell somebody that?"
"Yes I do." Tifa laughed breathily, scooting closer to him.
"So, wife?"
"Yes."
Cloud reached up to caress her cheeks, tracing his fingers along her jaw and rubbing his thumb across her lips. His breath escaped in hot puffs and she did her best to steady her breathing. Reaching up to his collar, Tifa unzipped his shirt, her hands shaking as she spread them across his bared chest.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Cloud pulled her nightgown over her head, happy to find that she was braless beneath. She looked so good, the only thing blocking his view were her panties. Easing down onto the bed, she raised her hips enough to let him pull off her panties.
Once she was completely naked, Cloud's breath hitched in his throat. She was the first woman he'd ever seen completely naked. Going deliberately slow, Cloud removed his pants, doing his best to hide his desperation.
Sliding between her legs, Cloud guided himself into her, unsure of how exactly to go from there. Once he was sheathed within her, he held himself there, feeling her soft wetness engulf him completely. She was hot and wet and tight…and hips bucked almost automatically when her inner walls squeezed around him.
"Cloud…do something…" She moaned, wrapping her legs around his hips.
Taking her body close to his, he leaned down to kiss her. His lips were trembling and he wasn't sure if that was what she wanted. But she responded favorably, wrapping her arms around his neck to keep him there and rocked her hips against his.
He began moving, slowly and clumsily. But she helped him find a rhythm and soon they were moving together as one. But even as they found their cadence, it still didn't feel quite right.
"Do it harder." She gasped.
So he bore down harder on her, doing his best to get as deep as possible, but it caused him to slow down.
"Faster." She ordered.
So he picked up the pace again, but he wasn't getting as deep as he was before.
"Harder!"
Which is it? Harder or faster? I can't do both! Cloud's inexperience was blaring loud in Tifa's face and she was becoming frustrated with him.
She pushed him onto his back, but he slid out of her when he fell back. Tifa hissed in disappointment, remounting and setting her own desperate pace. She wanted it hard and she wanted it fast. She'd gotten used to what Sephiroth had to offer and Cloud wasn't living up to it.
Despite her feelings for Cloud, she found herself wishing it was Sephiroth beneath her. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it, needing no tutorial. And Tifa wasn't up for teaching.
Bearing down with all she had, Tifa began riding him full force. Sweat slicked on their skin as their bodies heated up more and more. The hard throbbing in her core began to mount and she raced toward the most amazing –
Cloud sunk his nails into her hips, coming hard. She felt the heat spread inside of her, putting out the flame burning there. She noted the sensation of him going soft and she shook her head as she backed off of him, reseating herself on the edge of the bed.
"Oh…damn…" Cloud moaned, a satisfied grin on his face.
But Tifa wasn't smiling. She was almost there, but she tripped on her way to the finish line. No…Cloud just got there first.
"I'm going to bed." Tifa said, slipping her nightgown back over her head.
"Wait, do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Cloud grabbed her hand.
"N-not really." She couldn't believe she denied him, denied herself. She would normally have loved to sleep in his bed, but that night she was just too disappointed stay.
"Oh…" Cloud let her go, "Okay, if that's what you want."
Turned away, but about faced when her heart slammed her chest, "Cloud, was this your first time?"
Cloud's eyes got huge. A mad blush swept his face and he nervously scratched the back of his head.
"Uh…yes?"
I knew it. "Okay…I was just wondering. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Tifa returned to her room to find the light on. She stood there for a moment staring at it.
When did I turn on the lamp?
She jumped when a shadow crossed her peripheral vision.
"Sephiroth…" She suddenly felt guilty, but why?
"I hoped you'd be here when I got here." He said, glancing through a photo album. "I hope you don't mind, I helped myself."
"No…that's alright." She tossed her panties in the laundry hamper; she doubted she'd need them again that night. The two of them remained silent as she watched him flip through the album. A ripple of anger glided through her, "Where have you been?"
"Eager to meet your fate, are you?"
"Just tell me."
"Here and there." He said, he glanced at the pair of panties she threw in the hamper. "I assume you're not in the mood again?"
"All I really want right now is a quick release." She said honestly.
"So he wasn't satisfying."
"Well, he's not you." She knew he'd know.
"Too bad, I'm not in the mood either. In fact that's why I haven't been to see you recently."
"So now you've gotten bored of me?" She took a step back.
"On the contrary." He put the photo album aside, "I'm still interested in you. In fact I want to finish where we left off the other night."
He pushed her down onto her bed, kneeling down in front of her. Removing his gloves, he spread his soft hands across her thighs, easing them apart and leaning into drag his tongue up her cleft. Tifa's breath caught and she felt backward.
"I thought you weren't in the mood." She gasped, her hands in his hair.
"I'm not in the mood for my own release, but if I can assist you…" He slid his tongue between her lips.
Tifa folded her hands over her mouth to muffle her moans as he flicked her aching clit. Each staccato thrust of his tongue sent shockwaves rippling through her body and her hips rolled eagerly against his face.
Taking her swollen bud between his lips, Sephiroth sucked gently, enjoy her taste and the sound of her trying to keep quiet. He stroked her legs before running his hands across her body, relishing the feeling of her shivering.
She easily rose to orgasm, arching her body and biting her hand to keep from losing control. Sephiroth continued to hold on to her even as she fought against herself. Finally realizing there was no way out, She grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, letting the eruption wash over her.
"Feel better?" He purred against her spasming pussy, kissing her lips once before rising back up.
She was shuddering and her skin was riddled with goosebumps. Tifa tossed the pillow away.
"Yes…yes I feel better." She sat up again, dazedly tossing back the coverlet and sliding between the sheets.
"Something is troubling you." Sephiroth said as he shucked his clothes.
"I'm fine."
"You're lying." He climbed in bed beside her.
"Do you really care?"
"Humor me."
Tifa rolled onto her back and sighed despairingly. "Cloud and I got married two weeks ago ago."
Sephiroth's eyes narrowed and his lip curled into a sneer. "I thought you weren't lovers."
"We weren't. We got married because we can't continue to live together otherwise. I need him to help me pay the bills."
"I see."
"Are you mad?" Tifa finally looked at him.
"Just surprised."
"Anyway it doesn't matter."
Sephiroth rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his arm. "Tifa, I want you to know something."
"What?"
"Just know that you can tell me your woes."
"Excuse me?"
"Tifa, I know this sounds strange to you because it feels strange to say. But, I want to be your friend."
"But you said you were going to kill me."
Sephiroth felt another sharp pain rocket through his chest and his stomach did somersaults. "That was before you showed me how special you are."
"Are you sick?"
"No." Sephiroth reached out, taking her hand. Interlacing his fingers with hers, he said, "In fact for the first time in years, my mind is perfectly clear. Ever since our first night, I've been feeling strange. You're all I can think about and when I see you, I feel like…like nothing else really matters anymore." He pushed his hair back shaking his head, "Of all the things I've seen and done, this is something I've never felt before in my life. I don't understand what it means."
A lump formed in Tifa's throat and she yanked her hand from his. She sat up, her chest laboring beneath each breath. "Sephiroth, I think you're in love."
"Love?" Sephiroth sat up, scooting up behind her. Caressing her hair, he took her shoulders, pulling her back into his chest. "Is love supposed to be this painful? Am I supposed to feel ill and breathless? Am I supposed to feel like nothing else is good enough anymore?"
"Yes." She said honestly. Tifa closed her eyes and thought about Cloud. A sad smirk etched across her lips. Barely married and she'd already betrayed her husband in the worst of ways. "Especially when the person you love doesn't love you back."
"Tifa, do you think there's a chance that you could want me?"
"Beyond a sexual relationship? I can't say."
"It's probably for the best." Sephiroth smelled her hair. "I can't guarantee I could treat you well, nor can I say I won't get tired and finally kill you."
Tifa turned around in his arms and cuddled into his chest. "Would you go ahead and do it if I asked?"
"Kill you?"
"Yes."
"Are you asking?" He kissed the corner of her mouth.
"I don't know."
"If you truly want it, I could give it to you, but if you are unsure then I'm afraid I must decline."
"Sephiroth," She pushed him back down into the pillows and rested her head on his shoulder. "Will you at least stay with me until morning?"
"Yes."
