It had been over a week since the little incident with Isaac back at my house, hadn't heard much of him since and to be honest I was kind of regretting it. Oh, not because I felt bad or anything but because if I didn't get a look at his half of this stupid paper then I might get a crappy grade because of that ridiculously blue eyed idiot.

So yeah…

Walking up to him at lunch I take a second of hesitation, almost walking in the opposite direction simply because of the awkwardness of the situation but with a deep breath I strived on, taking a seat opposite the golden haired boy, his lip broken and scabbed over with a large yellow-purple bruise going straight up from his lip and lining his sharp cheek bones and it doesn't make me ache to ask how it happened, it doesn't and I won't "So…our paper?"

"I'm still working on it but it'll be done in time." he doesn't even bother look up from the comic he's reading or fiddling with his fork as he answers me.

Rolling my eyes I lean back on the crappy pine chair with folded arms "awesome but I still need to see your half first, make sure you actually know what you've written and not mess up my grade."

"Fine, I'll hand you a copy by Friday ok?" he's snappy and rude but I don't pay it much mind as I stand with a bitter smile "just try not to let it suck…"

And then I left him there because that's what I did, I don't get attached and I don't care… I just didn't have it in me anymore.

The rest of the day went by in a hazarded blur, people talking about animal attacks and some stupid dance I didn't care about. So as I sat in English lit and overhear some guys, the asshole Jackson and I think the others name is Danny, talking about a party, they even had a few crappy flyers, I actually snaked one from them. Not because I wanted to go, but because snatching it meant they didn't notice me lifting Jackson's Rolex swiftly off his wrist.

Why?

Why the fuck not?

I've gotten quite good at taking things that I shouldn't, a little habit I somehow picked up after losing Beau. Is it just for attention? A cry for help? Hell if I know… it just makes me feel something, makes me forget for a second I guess.

Or maybe I'm just a fucked up little klepto who likes shiny things, like a magpie.

The second I get home from school the first thing that greets me is my mom practically screaming down the phone from the kitchen and my dad slumped in his chair, absorbedly painting his newest model plane with a plate of freshly baked pastries laid out on the table. Grabbing a jelly donut from the pile I fall back into the soft, welcoming sofa, backpack fallen to my feet while I ask with a cheek full of raspberry goodness "what's wrong now?"

"Someone lost the design's for your mother's new project." My Dad ends me a quick glance as he delicately paints away "and don't talk with your mouth full."

Quickly swallowing down the remainder of my donut I look almost bashful "Sorry, jeez my heart bleeds for whatever poor sap has to deal with that!"

He looks up for a moment to share a sly smirk with me and chuckles "You and me both kido."

And on queue my overly eccentric mother storms in, slamming the phone down "Those people! I swear I understand that god loves us all but he defiantly gave more to some than to others. Well now I have to go down there."

"you really have to go to New Orland's tonight?" my dad looks up at the angry red head with a raised brow as she is already grabbing her original copy of her designs "Yes Fred, tonight, my deadline is tomorrow and I'm not getting into trouble because of some buffoon who can't do their job right."

Curled on the sofa, licking at my sugar covered fingers I slurp "Why don't you just scan them and email it over?"

I feel the eye roll before I actually see it "because an emailed version would never allow the viewer to truly know its worth, looking at a picture and looking at art are very different things. But I don't expect you to understand you've never been much of the artistic type."

It felt like a punch to the chest as I glared at my darling mother "Unlike Beau?!"

"Don't put words into my mouth Liberty."

Rising to my feet I glare with anger flared nostrils and my hands on my hips "please, I don't have to, you think I'm stupid? I know Beau was always your favorite, I know you wish it was me and not him, you wish I'd died instead. At least then you'd have had your precious boy with you instead of the fuck up!"

"Watch your mouth young lady. How dare you assume to know my mind? Why can't you just grow up? Why can't you…" we're almost toe to toe, staring each other down as I finish her lingering sentence "Be more like Beau? Because Beau is dead mom! He's dead and buried and he's never coming back."

The throbbing heat of pain radiated through my tender cheek as my head whips around to meet my mother's shocked gaze and partly raised hand, reddened from the contact. Before I know it my feet have carried me half way up the stairs as I hear a loud crash and my father's harsh tone "the next time you touch my daughter I'll ruin you Laura, do you understand! Your job, this house, the money, the church…"

Followed by that bitch's crocodile tears as I fall to the welcoming cold sheets of my bed shrouded only in moonlight "Fred I… I didn't mean to…"

"Just get out, go figure out your shit at work and think about whether or not you want to be a part of this family any longer." With that I hear the quick slam of the front door and the engine of my mom's crappy hatchback… good riddance.

With a knock on my door I hear the whisper of my name "Liberty-Bell?"

"Don't Dad… just go away." I try to sound like my usual strong self but there's a crack in my voice, I fucking hate myself for that.

My backs to him, but I know he hasn't left the room even before the bed dipped and he laid a soft kiss into my crimson curls "I love you Liberty; your mother loves you to."

"Funny way of showing it…"

I can hear the heavy sigh as he leans over me to place my stuffed rabbit beside me, like he did when I was a child, laying a gentle squeeze to my shoulder before leaving with a creek of the door.

I stare into the black buttons of the raggedy bunny's eyes and it catches my breath. I've had this stupid thing for as long as I can remember… and I don't know why but it makes me even angrier and I just know I don't want to be here anymore, I don't need the bullshit…

So throwing the tattered bunny aside I head to my wardrobe, after all there's a party with free booze and brain damagingly loud music just waiting for a pretty little fucked up mess like me to walk through the door.

By the time I finally find the overrun house it's almost eleven… I might have even taken longer if it weren't for the deafening music thundering through the streets. The white cubed house looks out of place in the traditional all American style streets, but what more is to be expected from the moneybags that raised the arrogant asshole known as Jackson.

The house is filled with drunken idiot teens who I barely know and it makes me hate them more, they all seem so happy, ignorant… I didn't come here to know these people, to flirt and pretend to be happy; I came to get as wasted as humanly possible.

Heading into the kitchen I all but run to the keg and pour myself a drink, knocking back the bitter liquid and I can feel the burn of it gliding down my throat; it's almost helpful… almost.

Drink follows drink in a burred daze until I find myself stood on the Whitmore's dining table, bottle of half-drunk overly priced scotch in hand as I dance between two guy's… I vaguely recognize one as Jackson and the other as…um… I think his name's Kalvin, Kyle… something K!

I think…

Then suddenly I'm outside, my hand hurt's and I'm being yelled at and called names, someone's grabbing me and then I realize it's the K guy, his lip is bleeding and his cheek is a stinging red color, Jackson and Lydia are yelling at each other behind him and Danny is trying to grab K off me.

"Hey! Get off her!"

Then from behind me a voice is running over, shoving K hard into Danny and shocking him into letting me go, my arms hurt's and I think my shirt is ripped.

"Nell? Nell, are you ok?" My rescuer is brushing the hair from my face, he's blurry but I can still see blue, the most beautiful blue I've ever seen bluer than the sky after a big storm… my hand reaches up to graze over the eyes that have captivated me as I giggle sincerely "pretty…blue. Blue, pretty."

He smiles brightly, such a bright smile as a voice comes from behind me "Lahey why don't you take your freak girlfriend and get the fuck out of my yard, yeah?!"

"Nice to see you to Jackson… asshole!" those big blue eyes look back to me and I smile at him, flapping my arms as I slur in my drunken haze "Isaac! Wow, how did you know about the party? Are you stalking me?"

He looks more than a little confused by my giggly character shift and I realize I still have the attractive bottle of scotch in my hand only after I take a large gulp "um no I live across the street… Nell, how did you even get here?"

"The good old fashioned walk thingy. Don't drive and think, drink! …wait is that right? No… it's um…" I can see him eyeing me as my feet start to carry me down the street with another burning gulp of the swiped hooch.

He moves to help steady me as I sway slightly on my too high sparkly red heels "whoa there, how about we call your mom and dad to come get you?"

I stop and glare at him as I lean into a nearby tree to rip the offensive shoes from my poor throbbing feet, throwing them down as I snarl "my mom… my darling mother isn't there, fucked off to some work thing… not that she'd care anyway, if she had her way I'd be dead."

"Just give me your phone and I'll call your dad then, ok?" he asks while picking up my shoes and I find myself wanting to beat him with them.

"No, no! He can't see me like this… he's good and strong and he loves me… like Beau, Beau loved me… loved me so much but now he's gone, like I should be gone." I feel the dirt of the grass burying into my nails as they claw at the small patch of grass, I don't know remember sliding down the tree but I know I must have because Pretty Blue… I mean Isaac is the only other person around me and he's leaning to try and help me up, shoes in hand.

Isaac finally manages to get me to my feet, and I curl into him, clinging for support as he starts to steady me for the second time "come on Nell; let me call your dad. You need to go home."

Without warning I can feel my tears betray me, my fist's tighten into his warm cotton shirt as it all just floods out, every stupid thing I don't want to say "my mom hate's me, she hates me and you know what… she should! Because it's my fault, he's dead and it's my fault."

"Nell…"

I can feel all that shit I've buried for so long rise up and it makes me sick "I want him back Isaac, I miss him so much and I need him so bad, I need my big brother and the worst part is I… I hate him, I hate him because it was meant to be me, he should have just left me, he should have let me die like I was meant to but he didn't, he saved me and now he's gone. He's gone…"

I seem to suddenly lose my shit because the next second I'm punching Isaac's chest, screaming out my pain "How could he do that to me? How could he die and leave me here all alone…" Isaac tries to calm me, encircling his arms around me and pulling my head to his shoulder as I cry, clinging to him once more "how could he think that I could live without him?!"

In that moment all I can see is Beau, his magical eyes, his cheeky smile, the look on his face the last time I saw him, the acceptance in knowing he was going to die… I hate him even more for that, for just accepting it.

Isaac doesn't pry like that night in my room, just holds me close, gently stroking my hair to let me cry it out. Not saying one word, no patronizing 'it'll get better' or fake 'I'm sorry' he just lets me cry and stain his shirt with mascara and eye shadow.

I'm not sure how much time past, a few seconds… ten minutes… an hour? But when the well's all dried up and I just can't cry anymore he just holds me.

I don't remember the last time I was just held, protected from the world, from myself… god I'm so fucking drunk.

"Come on, let's get you home." All I can do is nod lightly as I move to look into those eye's, those pretty blue eyes and then I notice the bruises, the harsh bruises and it makes me sad to see them there.

My fingers ghosting over the ugly colors tainting his creamy complexion and he flinches, only for a second but I see it "what happened to you?"

It takes him a second before his eyes shifts away from mine and I can instantly see the hesitation on his face as he shrugs "Lacrosse."

Something about that doesn't seem right to me, something I should know but my alcohol indulged little brain can't seem to piece it together. I open my mouth to speak but the words don't come out… but vomit does.

I manage to only get a bit on Isaac's shirt as he moves to quickly pull back my hair with a chuckle "whoa, you're going to be so hung-over tomorrow."

Isaac is kind enough to walk me home, actually he ends up carrying me most of it because I cut my toe on a stupid rock, a freaking rock for god's sake.

When my dad opens the door he's got his cell to his ear and just looks so panicked, then relieved as I say from the nook of Isaac's neck weakly "Sorry Daddy."

"Oh thank god." He doesn't bother saying goodbye, I'm not even sure if he took the time to actually hang up before coming to check me over, almost snatching me from Isaac's arms but doesn't dare as I cling tighter to the boy "Liberty?"

"I'm ok, Isaac took care of me… he's sweet, I'm not sweet, I'm mean, why am I so mean?" as I'm twittering on my dad's moved to let us in and Isaac smiles down at me "being mean's your thing, like a trademark, besides you're pretty sweet when your drunk."

"Isaac would you help me get her upstairs, please?" I can tell by my father's tone he's not happy with me, but I'm too tired to care and to busy concentrating on not puking again.

Isaac lay's me down and the coolness of my fluffy soft sheets feel so good on my heated skin "your eyes are pretty, like the stars… if they were blue, such a pretty blue."

I hear him laugh as he smiles down at me, reaching to cover me with the duvet "night Nell."

"What did you say?" my eyes are closed, their just too heavy, but I can hear the shock in my father's voice, can only imagine his frozen frame "um, Nell, sir. It's what she asked me to call her…"

"I see, well thank you for taking care of her, Isaac, it's good to know she has a friend watching out for her." I can't move, my eyes feel like someone laid a tone on bricks on them but I can feel his eyes on me, those stupid beautiful blue eyes "your welcome sir, but we're not friends."