Bella's POV

I woke up in Carlisle's arms today. He looked disturbed so I was hesitant to move. "Carlisle?" I whispered. He looked down at me, surprised. "Bella, you're up early. Did I... did I wake you?" his voice trembled. "No, of course not. Are you OK?"

He shrugged, "Never better." But I knew he was lying; I could see it in his eyes. I wiggled my way out of his arms and walked down to the kitchen. Alice was there of course, also with a strange look on her face. A look of disgust. "Hey, Alice." I slowly approached her. "Bella! How are you?" she snapped herself out of her daydream. "I'm fine. Thanks."

I opened a few cupboards looking for food and found what I wanted, Raisin Bran. Sitting down, I watched Alice look over at me and then hastily look down. "You know that stuff is gross, right? Edward once dared me to eat it." Carlisle smiled from behind me, rubbing my shoulders lightly.

I noticed Alice stiffen when she noticed him walk in.

"Carlisle, we need to talk." her voice was hard, and she didn't look like she wanted to talk about ponies and rainbows with him. Carlisle sighed and gently took his hands off of my shoulders where he was resting. He walked into the living room with her, and I desperately wanted to hear what Alice was so keen on saying, that she couldn't say it in front of me. But I resisted, it's not like I would be able to hear them anyways.

When Carlisle came back in, Alice was no where to be seen. Carlisle looked tired, even though there was no way he could ever be sleepy again. "Bella, I have to talk to you about something," he sat down next to me," Last night, I wanted to know what... what your blood tasted like. I was morbidly curious. I shouldn't have, but I wanted to taste it so bad," I looked down at my feet, I knew where this was going. "I wasn't trying to hurt you, I just wanted a taste. And well, I went a little too far. I almost couldn't stop. You don't know how good your blood tastes. Damn, it was all I could do to stop myself... I'm so sorry, Bella." He looked heartbroken, and it pained me to see him that way.

"I know, Carlisle. I forgive you." He shook his head. "You shouldn't. Edward would kill me if he knew."

"But he won't."

Carlisle stared into my eyes, and it felt like he could see into my soul. "Come here, Bella." He stretched out his arms, and I crawled in his lap. He kissed my head gently. "What did I ever do to deserve some one like you?"

I laughed, "You didn't do anything; you're already perfect. The question is, what did I do to deserve you?"

He pulled me tighter into his arms, "I love you, Isabella Swan. I always will."

Alice had finally forgiven Carlisle after he promised he would let her have me for the night. She forced me to crawl into pajamas and watch 2012 with her. But I wasn't that into the movie, (besides, how would vampires die from an Apocalypse? They wouldn't.) I was more into thinking about Carlisle.

What would I tell Edward? Would he even forgive me for something like this? No. I started quivering, and had to excuse myself from Alice. She probably thought I was just too overcome by how L.A was going down from an earthquake, or maybe she had a vision of me leaving, and already knew the reason why.

Carlisle was in the kitchen reading. I took the book out of his smooth hands. Teach me. "I never put you as someone who liked teacher/student relationships." He grinned, only making me smile in return. "I'm not. It was at the library, and it was the closest thing I could find to our situation." I was silent and his grin faded away. "Edward had recommended it to me actually. I never got around to it though."

"Carlisle, what we're doing is wrong. It's not fair." He slowly put down his book and got up to stand by me. "Not fair to who? Edward? Things happen, Bella, and sometimes people get hurt because of them. Do you not think I curse at myself every time I touch you? Every time I taste your mouth?" I must have looked hurt, because his expression changed from serious to softness. "I don't mean it like that. I mean that I hate knowing that I'll hurt my son, hurt him so bad that he might despise me. It kills me every time I think of you."

He cupped my chin in his hands, "And I think of you a hell lot." I touch his chest softly and wrap my other hand around a lock of his hair. "I'm glad you do." He chuckles and kisses me. We're just getting into it, I'm already hyperventilating, when his watch beeps. He pulls back and looks at me apologetically. "Work time. I'll be back in the morning." I kiss him and he lingers, "I love you." he whispers. "I love you too, Carlisle." He lets go of me and he's gone when I blink my eye.

I tell Alice I'm tired and head up to Carlisle's bed. Just as I'm getting into bed, Alice's pixy voice calls my name, "Bella, it's Edward!" My breathing stops. Not now, please not now. I walk as slowly as I can to get the phone; I can't make another excuse for why I can't talk to him. His voice in my ears almost brings tears to my eyes. "Bella." Alice looks pitifully at me and walks out of the room to give me space.

"Hey, Edward. How are the vampires down in Portland?" His voice is tense; does he know? "They sure put up a good fight. I've been trying to calm them down, but it always results in me killing them, which I hate thanks to Carlisle," I want to moan when I hear him says Carlisle's name. "They're making me exhausted, figuratively of course." So then he doesn't know about my situation, thank god. "I'm glad you're doing OK." He laughs, "If you could say that. I miss you a lot, Bella, and I want to come home as soon as possible. I think I'll take two more days and come home; I can't put you under Alice's torture forever."

"I'm enjoying Alice!" I say almost a little too quickly. I can hear the confusion in his voice, "Do you not want me to come home?" I bite my lip, "Of course I do," I muster up all my strength to utter words I'm not sure are true anymore, "I miss you." His voice lets up, and I untense. "I'll see you then. I love you."

"I love you." I reply, and hang up. I slide my hand through my hair and sigh. This isn't fair; to him or me.

Alice is still watching her movie, but she looks up when I pass by. "Goodnight, Bella." She says softly. "Night, Alice." I can feel her eyes on my back as I head up once again to Carlisle's room. For the first time, I notice a small picture on his dresser. It's of me and Edward.

I crawl into his bed, covering myself in his sheets. I can smell him in them, and it comforts me. I slide my shirt and pants off on to the floor; this is the closest I'll get to being by him tonight. Edward is coming back in two days, I tell myself. How am I ever going to get through this? How can Carlisle want me after it, after I've broken his son?

I groan, why does love have to be so tough? My eyes wander back to the picture of me and Edward.

"I'm sorry, Edward."