A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I've been obsessing about this chapter but I finally decided to just post it. Please let me know what you think!


I didn't go home that morning, nor that afternoon. Instead I stayed holed up in my office, numbly completing sheet after sheet of tedious paperwork.

I had wanted to run after her, I really had, but I just didn't know what I would have said. I couldn't fathom giving in, not now after I had seen what could happen to me.

She would get over it, I reassured myself. She always had.

I set my pen down and massaged my temples, trying to rid myself of the piercing headache that had been growing steadily worse all day. I glanced at the clock, it was already four. In just a few hours I'd have to face her again.

Perhaps I'd close my eyes for just a moment.

--

I am standing in Debbie Marlin's bathroom holding a scalpel. The blood dripping from the blade is fresh and my ears are perfectly attuned to the soft pattering of the drops as they hit the slick tile floor.

Debbie is posed next to my feet, her entire body crouched over, her lifeless face turned away from me. My eyes fall on the small of her back where her shirt lifts just enough for a small taste of the pearly white flesh there, obscured slightly by a red thong and a butterfly tattoo.

It is then that it strikes me. There is no butterfly tattoo. I was sure it was there, just moments before. Panic immediately engulfs me and I am running around the body desperate to get a look at her face.

It can't be, it just can't be...

"Sara..." I gasp, as my blue eyes take in empty, brown ones.

I am trembling so badly I feel I might collapse and I allow my legs to give way as I kneel on the floor beside her. It is then that the scalpel, all but forgotten, falls from my hand onto the floor with a loud clink. My attentions refocus and as I stare at the blade that has so quickly and easily taken her from me, I suddenly understand.

I have killed the only woman I ever loved.

A great pounding explodes inside my head and I am falling backwards away from her body, every moment we've spent together flashing before my eyes.

I hear sirens in the distance and a voice calling my name but I do not run, I cannot run anymore. They will find me here and I will spend the rest of my life locked away in a cell, reliving the agony of what I have done to her.

And I should. I tortured her for years, chipping away pieces of her soul, until all that was left was her gangly, useless frame. I deserve to suffer like she did. I deserve to--

"Gil, wake up!"

My eyes fluttered open and I sat up slowly, adjusting to the light flooding in from the open doorway. My head was still pounding relentlessly and my face was coated with sweat. Catherine was standing above me, a look of apprehension spread across her face.

"Did you ever go home?" She asked, her bright green eyes boring into me.

I shook my head as I watched her eyebrows climb towards her hairline.

"Gil come on, it's been two days. We closed the case, there wasn't enough evidence."

I nodded warily.

"I'm aware of that, Catherine. I was doing paperwork, I must have fallen asleep."

I paused to glance over at the clock.

"Uh... I'll be out in a few minutes to pass out assignments. Please close the door when you leave."

She gave me an incredulous look.

"You're not going home?"

"As soon as shift is over I will."

Her face tightened into an even deeper frown but she did not argue. As soon as she was gone I exhaled the breath I had been holding, I was in for a long night.

TBC...