Murder At The Banquet
I got back from Atlanta yesterday, so now here's scene 3 for y'all! With this chapter, this is officially my longest story for the moment. Also, if it gets just 5 more reviews it'll be my most reviewed story ever. So enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story or the play it's from. Robert Lavohn wrote the original script. I was an actor in it though. I had Alex's part.
Later on, Mrs. Preakness' body was moved to the freezer as well. After that, everyone returned to the main dining room from the kitchen. Stanton was the first to speak.
"Ain't this a fine kettle of catfish! Two people dead and the murderer still on the loose!"
Wanda shook a little. "Oh boss, I'm scared. I mean, who's gonna be next, ya know?"
Jack responded confidently, trying to reassure her. "Don't worry Wanda. I'll find the guy responsible."
"What makes you so sure it's a guy, Diamond?" Stanton cut in. "I'm still not sure about Miss Torres over there. She spent a lot of time alone with her. She could have poisoned her. Probably put it in the water. She was drinking that right before she died!"
"Don't be ridiculous! Mitchie didn't give her the water. I did!" Everyone slowly turned to look at Claudette. "I didn't kill her!"
"Then who put the poison in the ice water?" Chief Stanton questioned.
Mitchie stepped forward now, trying to put an end to the newest argument. "Anyone could have put the poison in the water. We were so busy arguing about the knife that none of us would have noticed. But we don't even know that the water was poisoned. She might have been poisoned at dinner. We all might have been."
"All of a sudden I don't feel so well." Wanda started to swoon, Alex moving to catch her and Jack crossing to her from in front of the other table.
"Wanda! Is it poison?" He asked worriedly.
"No, I'm just really, really scared!"
They all waved off the false alarm, Jack returning to his spot while Alex spoke. "Let's just calm down. We need to decide on our next logical course of action."
"You're right Alex. And the only logical thing to do is split up and search for clues."
"Hold on there lady." Stanton interrupted Mitchie from across the room. "This ain't Scooby Doo. What good is splittin' us up gonna do? Unless, maybe you wanna knock us off one by one!"
She regarded him with obvious disgust. "Stanton, I don't want to get close enough to you to kill you. It's simple. While we wait, the evidence we need may already be deteriorating. Besides, safety in numbers doesn't seem to help much. Both murders occurred when we were all together. Maybe the killer likes to operate in front of a crowd. Our best bet is to flush him," She paused to look pointedly toward Claudette, "or her out in the open. If we discover a clue, the murderer may be kept unaware of it until it's too late. Also, we still have the award money to find. Chances are the murderer hid it somewhere around here."
Jack nodded. "I think splitting up makes a lot of sense. Wanda and me will check out the basement for more clues." He started turning to the door.
Alex crossed to the other table, turning him back around with a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry Jack, I don't think that' s a good idea."
He got in her face. "Oh yeah, girlie? Why?"
"We can't afford to trust anybody right now. If one of you is the killer, chances are the other one might be involved. I don't think we can afford to let the two of you get off by yourselves."
"The boss wouldn't kill a fly. Unless it really deserved it!" Everyone shook their heads at Wanda.
Mitchie tried advancing the plans. "Everyone's a suspect. I'll check out the basement. And I think Miss Pindu should come with me."
"Thank you, but no thank you. I would prefer to go with Alex. She can protect me if we run into danger."
Alex scuffed her shoe, looking down with a slight blush. "Well, I... I mean, I guess... we're gonna check out the kitchen." She moved behind Claudette's chair, then watched the others.
"Well then I'll go to the basement with Miss Watson." Stanton nodded.
"Sorry, hillbilly-boy, but I'm going to the basement too. Wanda will stay here so you guys won't think I'm running off."
"I'll keep an eye on Wanda. I want to check out a few things here. Let's meet back here in about... fifteen minutes?" Mitchie looked to the group, who all nodded their approval of the plan. Then Jack and the Chief pushed each other back and forth in a race to get to the basement first. Alex pulled out Claudette's chair, then the other woman took her arm as they headed to the kitchen.
Wanda watched them go. "Gee, Miss Torres, I didn't know that Miss Pindu and Miss Russo were a couple."
Mitchie looked a bit perturbed at this. "Neither did I. I wonder if... no, Alex wouldn't kill anyone. Would she?"
There was a lengthy pause. "Was that one of those rhetorical thingies, or was I supposed to answer?"
"Never mind, Wanda. Look, I need to go over some things here. Could you take some notes for me while I think?"
"I'm sorry. I don't take dictation."
"You don't? But you're a secretary. Why would he hire you if... oh, never mind. If you could just listen. It helps me think if I talk things over." She crossed back to Wimberly's seat.
"No problem."
"Seat appears normal, no evidence of poisoned needles. Food looks good, no sign of discoloration. Iced tea with ice melted..." She paused, thinking, before shaking her head. "I wish I had paid more attention to where people were and what they were doing and eating and drinking."
"Oh, well let's see," Wanda crossed behind each chair in turn as she spoke, "Chief Stanton introduced Captain Wimberly, patted him on the back, then sat down right over here. Chief Stanton had the regular entree with iced tea, no sugar. He put blue cheese dressing on his salad. Miss Pindu sat there, and she had only a plain salad with her tea, no ice. She added one sugar. Then there was Mr. Wimberly standing here, except after the lights went out he was like this." She bent forward like the corpse. "He had the regular entree with iced tea and sugar, and a salad with Thousand Island. Over here was Mrs. Preakness, who had tea with artificial sweetener and a regular entree. Her salad had oil and vinegar. Oh, she also had that bowl of guacamole. Then the boss sat here. He had the regular entree, but didn't eat any 'cause he says it gives him indigestion. He had iced tea with lots of sugar. The boss never eats salad. Then there was me, and I just had a salad with fat free dressing, 'cause I'm watching my figure. I had water to drink. Then here was Miss Russo, and she had the regular entree and the salad, with ranch dressing, plus iced tea with both sugar and artificial sweetener."
Mitchie gaped at her. "That is incredible."
Wanda's hands went to her hips as she spoke confidently. "He didn't just hire me for my looks, sister."
"Wanda, I think we need to check something out in the basement." They left right before Alex and Claudette came back from the kitchen.
Alex stopped in the middle of the room. "Well, we didn't find any new evidence in the kitchen." She paused, looking around the empty room. "Where is everybody?"
"I haven't a clue. But to be honest Alex, I'm glad we're alone." Claudette started carefully applying her lipstick as Alex continued looking around. "Alex?" She followed the other girl. "I want you to know how much I admire you. You are so smart and so beautiful." She grabbed Alex's shoulders, turning her around. "You are the only one I can trust!" She finished, puckering her lips and closing her eyes.
"Pindu. That's a French name, isn't it?" Alex asked, completely oblivious to the other girl's intentions
"Excusez moi?" Claudette asked, not moving.
"Your name is French, isn't it?"
Claudette turned away angrily. "Oui! But so what? Honestly Alex, you make me so mad I could-"
"Kill me?" Alex finished for her. Then there was a noise at the basement door as the rest of the group emerged. "Ah, I'm glad you're all back. I have an announcement to make. The murderer is Claudette Pindu!"
They all gathered around, muttering in shock, before Mitchie spoke. "Fascinating. How did you discover this?"
"Elementary, my dear Torres. Her last name, Pindu, is French. In fact, it's an anagram for Dupin. Her first name is Claudette. You take off the first letter and you get 'C' 'laudette.' Thus, her first initial is 'C.' The rest of her first name refers to someone whom you might laud or praise, someone you might consider august. And her last name is, in reality, Dupin. Thus, it is obvious who she is and why she killed Captain Wimberly and Mrs. Preakness."
There was a pause, then Jack stepped toward her. "Well, maybe it's obvious to you, but just between the two of us, I don't think anybody else has any idea what you're talking about pal!"
"Allow me, Mr. Diamond." Mitchie moved to the center of the group. "Alex is suggesting that Claudette Pindu is the great-great granddaughter of C. Auguste Dupin, the famous French detective whose exploits were recorded by Edgar Allan Poe. Alex would then have us believe she killed Captain Wimberly and Mrs. Preakness as an act of revenge because her ancestor was not a finalist. Was that it Alex?"
She shrugged sheepishly. "Well, not exactly. Actually, I figured she killed them both because she's French and they were British, and everyone knows French people hate British people."
Stanton shook his head sadly. "Girl, if stupid was eggs, you'd have omelets every day, wouldn't you?"
Wanda looked hopeful. "Well, at least we know who the murderer is, right?"
"I don't think so." All heads turned to Jack as he explained himself. "I mean, sure she had the chance to poison Preakness, and maybe she had the chance to poison Wimberly too. But there's one thing she couldn't have done. Watch this." He moved to the lights, dimming them before tossing his newspaper toward Claudette. Everyone else stepped out of the way, but she never moved, simply jumping in surprise when it hit her. "Remember how when the lights went out she was stumbling over everyone? Then later she refused to go down to the basement, which is really dark. That made me think maybe she can't see so well in the dark. That little trick just clinched it."
Stanton looked confused and impatient. "Well, what's the point here?"
"There's no way she could have planted the electrical device that turned off the lights. It's too dark in the basement for her to see, even with the lights on and a flashlight."
Alex looked disappointed. "Well, I guess there's no way she could have stabbed Wimberly either. It was too dark when that happened."
Mitchie cleared her throat. "Actually Alex, she could have. Wimberly was stabbed while the lights were still on! But don't worry Claudette, I don't think you're the murderer. You're not bright enough." Claudette's hands went to her hips, while everyone else was still somewhat shocked. "However, the discovery we made in the basement shows how the murder was committed and how the murderer expected to get away with it."
Alex's eyes rolled. "This ought to be interesting."
"While we were down in the basement, we checked out the garbage cans. There's a garbage chute that drops directly down from the kitchen. Inside one of the cans, Jack found evidence of... kossover melon."
A confused Claudette spoke. "I've never heard of this kossover melon."
"It's a rare tropical plant whose fruit is extremely toxic. When I realized that kossover melon was involved, the murder all made sense. We'd all assumed Wimberly had been stabbed, until Mrs. Preakness declared he'd been poisoned. The kossover melon was the perfect choice. It begins by numbing the nerves of the thorax. Eventually, the victim experiences total cardiovascular arrest."
Alex seemed excited now. "I get it! Whoever killed him waited until the nerves were sufficiently numb, then stabbed him. He never even noticed! Then, when the poison took full effect, Wimberly collapsed!"
"Elementary, my dear Russo. That's why Mrs. Preakness's observation about the knife was so important. The killer had to use a small knife so Wimberly wouldn't be instantly killed, but the handle had to be big enough to make us assume he'd been stabbed to death. When the killer realized the poison was about to finish Wimberly off, he triggered the lights by remote control."
"But where was the poison?" Claudette asked.
"Kossover melon juice can be frozen. When it's frozen, it's non-poisonous. But if allowed to melt, say in Captain Wimberly's tea, it becomes lethal again. Interestingly, once the poison is absorbed into the body, freezing renders it undetectable. Since we put the bodies in the freezer, we never would have known what the poison was... if Jack and I hadn't found the traces of kossover melon in the garbage."
"Now hold on there missy." Stanton interrupted again. "I was right there with you in the basement, and I know you didn't find any kossover melon peels in the trash."
"You're absolutely right Chief. There were no peels. But I never said anything about peels. I just said traces. The paper towels the killer wiped his hands on were soaked with the juice. The only way you would know about the peels is if you peeled the fruit yourself with the paring knife, then put the peels down the garbage disposal when you poisoned the tray of ice. The same tray you used to poison both victims!"
He started backing up slowly. "What? What are you talking about?"
"The jig is up Chief. After Wanda went over the details of dinner, I knew it had to be you who stabbed him. The reason the angle of the blade is so strange is that you stabbed him when you patted him on the back! You knew by that time he wouldn't even feel it. And you almost got away with it!"
"I'll still get away with it! You're not pinning it on me. Not while I can still do this!" He raised his hand, and the lights went out again.
"Grab him!" Alex shouted.
"I have him!"
"You French idiot, that's me!" Mitchie yelled to Claudette.
"Ow!"
"Sorry Jack!" Alex apologized.
"Could someone get the lights please?" Claudette asked.
"I've got them!" Wanda exclaimed. As the lights came up, Stanton was face down on the ground, Alex had a foot on his back. Jack was madly swinging his fists... at the tables. Mitchie had managed to get Alex in a headlock.
Jack turned around. "Good work, youse guys."
Alex looked up at Mitchie as well as she could. "Uh, I think you can let go of me now."
"Oh, right."
"I could have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids."
"Why, Stanton? Why did you do it?" Jack asked him.
"Are you stupid or what? I did it for the money. There's no money in being police chief in a place like this. I had my retirement all planned out. And now it's all ruined! Ruined!"
"Waiters!" Claudette called. "Come take this boorish oaf away!" And they did, the three of them easily hauling him off, with Claudette bringing up the rear of the group.
Mitchie turned to Alex. "Well, Alex, I guess that about wraps it up. Obviously Stanton pulled the phone out of the wall in advance, right after he poisoned the ice. Later, he saw Mrs. Preakness snooping around in the kitchen. When she figured out the knife couldn't be the murder weapon, he poisoned her too. I'm betting he distracted Claudette and dropped some of the poisoned ice in Mrs. Preakness's glass. He probably guessed we'd assume she died of natural causes."
"Yeah, I guess that about wraps it up. Wait a second, what about the money?"
"Hmm, I forgot about that."
"Well, I'm sure he must have stashed it somewhere around here. We'll find it eventually. Besides, I'm donating it all to the Mystery Solver's Retirement Fund anyway."
"Do you think anyone will ever find that money?" Wanda asked Jack.
"Man, my memory must be getting worse." He took the bag of gold out of his pocket. "I found this down in the trash when nobody was looking. I figured that Stanton must have dropped it down the garbage chute when he went back into the kitchen with the broken phone. He probably planned to get the gold later when he picked up the gadget that shut off the lights, but I found it first. I'll just donate it to the Mystery Solvers Retirement Fund like she said."
"But boss, you're the only retired mystery solver."
"Hm. Now that you mention it, I am." He hugged the bag close to his chest.
"Well Alex, I have to admit. Donating all that money, that's pretty generous." Mitchie told her.
"Well, my family's accumulated a large fortune over the years. I really don't need it."
"Of course, that money by all rights should belong to my family."
"Don't start that again Mitchie. Sidekicks get maybe twenty percent. That's a number you should start getting used to if you wanna work as my sidekick!"
"Your sidekick! Your sidekick? If anything, you should pay me to work as my sidekick! Who figured out the poison? Who..." Their argument was lost as they headed out the door, leaving just Jack and Wanda in the room.
"Gee boss, I really thought they might get together in the end."
"I think they will, toots. Like somebody said, the problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in a crazy, mixed up world like this. I think that could be the start of a beautiful relationship."
Meanwhile, the girls had made it to the parking lot. "But who's the rich one?" Alex asked cockily.
"Really? That's your big comeback?" Mitchie seemed unimpressed.
Alex had reached the side of her car, but turned back to Mitchie before unlocking it. "Rich beats everything. Rich implies great results and respect. Rich- mmh!" Her speech was cut of as Mitchie attacked her lips and they fell into a rough kiss against the car. Alex was squished to the door as Mitchie attempted to make Siamese twins joined at the lips, deepening the bruising kiss whenever possible.
Eventually though, they needed air and broke apart. Mitchie's hand rose to caress Alex's cheek. "You make me so furious. And God help me, I love it." Then she quickly attached their lips again.
Jack and Wanda came out of the building not long after, him shouting "Turn off that racket!"
The girls broke apart. Finally noticing they'd set off Alex's car alarm. Mitchie looked somewhat embarrassed. "Um... so... see you around." She hurried off to her own vehicle, leaving Alex still stunned from the kiss. She turned off the alarm, then turned to look at Jack.
"Whatcha waitin' for girl?" Go get her!" He pointed after Mitchie, and Alex nodded and took off.
The end. Yup, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. Did you figure it out before they did? It was a lot of fun writing this for you guys, so I hope it was fun to read too. My new mood fang necklace says it was. It also says... hold on, what's that necklace? You think they should review with their thoughts? What a coincidence! I thought so too! You don't wanna disappoint the mood fang, do ya? ~SGM
