Chapter 3
I woke up alone on a couch. It took me a minute to recognize the house I was in. I got up and looked around, the house was empty. I searched through all the house but Jacob wasn't there. In the bathroom I caught the scent of fresh shampoo that could only belong to a girl. This girl was everywhere, haunting me. I went into the bedroom and I saw traces of a girl. I saw a frame with a picture of them. I saw a few pieces of her clothing. I saw her shoes. On his nightstand I saw an earring. It was a white gold dolphin. I looked at it closely and I saw that it was engraved.
"You're still here." An angry voice sneered. I dropped the earring in a panic.
The girl from last night was standing at the bedroom door. "I was looking –"
"You were snooping." She hissed. "I can't believe you. You waltz back into his life after breaking his heart and you don't take him account."
"I think you're overreacting." I began. "It's a little overdramatic don't you think?" I never believed I broke his heart, I know I hurt him but we were friends. She's talking like we were in love.
She rolled her eyes and pushed me out of the way to retrieve her earring. "You don't even know, do you?" She muttered. "You're a selfish ingrate, of course you don't know."
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
"Figure it out yourself."
"No, tell me."
"For what reason would I tell you, what's done is done."
I shook my head. "I didn't break his heart, he didn't love me."
Her brow arched. "Sure about that?"
"Y-yes."
She huffed out the door, scowling at me before she left. I was left utterly confused. What she said could not be true. We were friends. He couldn't have loved me that way, we told each other everything. He wouldn't have let me marry Edward, had he loved me as she claims. She…I didn't even know her name, but she seemed to know a lot about me.
I rushed out the living room and grabbed my keys. I needed to think this through before I saw Jacob. I closed the door and reached up to the porch light and retrieved the spare key. Once the door was locked I put the key back and drove home, to my dad's home.
As soon as I arrived, I wanted to flee. Edward was waiting in the drive way, leaning up against his sleek black car, a gift from his father whom I realized was very different from Edward.
I got out of the car, hesitantly. "What do you want?" My voice was meek.
"We need to talk."
"You followed me to Forks to talk?" I asked with a scoff. "You don't want to talk. You want to keep tabs on me."
He didn't deny my claim. "Bella, I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm not okay, Edward. I don't think I've been okay for a long time."
"We need to talk."
"You want a divorce, enough said." I murmured. It was hard to stand up to him, to be upset with him. Edward was the love of my life, he still is. He walked into my life and completely swept me off my feet. Now he's let me fall flat on my face.
"Those words never came out of my mouth."
"What exactly do you want?"
"I don't know, I just know that this isn't what I want."
"I'm not what you want, why should we continue this way."
"I'm not sure."
"I guarantee you that I will not wait around until you're sure. I love you but I am not a toy that you can play with on a whim."
He sighed and groaned. He looked frustrated. He looked indecisive. "I met someone."
All of a sudden, I was breathless. I knew where this was leading to and did not want to hear it. I imagined a beautiful woman, someone who was at his level. I was never anything compared to him, I always felt inferior to him. It sounds like something from the Victorian era but it was true, it is true. I've never felt like I deserved to be married to him. It's ridiculous that I should even think in that manner.
"She is a NICU nurse. I was doing my rounds and we talked."
"Stop." I said harshly. "You need to leave." I parted my gaze from him and fled towards the front door.
"I never lied to you." He called after me. "Give me that, Bella. I was never anything less than honest. I'm doing this so that I can figure things out. I'm confused, like I've never been before."
I paid no attention to him. I knocked on the door. My sister had to be home. I knew my father was at the station but Alice had to be home. I continued knocking frantically. "Alice! Open the door."
"This is crazy, you cannot avoid me. I am your husband."
"Alice!"
Finally the door burst open and my little sister stood at the doorway, stunned. "Bella wha–"
I slid past her and slammed the door behind me.
"Bella, I will not leave." He said through the door.
"My father is the chief of police, Edward, leave me be."
He remained silent, for a moment I thought he'd left. "If you come back to your senses I'll be at my house with my family. I'm not leaving Forks without you."
I shut my eyes, breathing deeply.
"Bella," my sister began in a small voice. "What's going on?"
"Edward and I…we're having issues."
"Clearly that's the case but what sort of issues are you having. Why are you here?"
I sighed and made my way upstairs where Alice was sure to follow. "Go to school, Alice."
"You don't get to come home like this and give me no explanation, I think I deserve that."
"I don't exactly have an explanation. All I know is that I need time away from everyone and you need to get to school."
She rolled her eyes. "It's P.E. what am I going to learn there?"
"Get to school, now."
"Aren't you temperamental," she muttered.
Once I saw her go into her room to get ready I went into the sweet seclusion of my old room. It remained untouched and still reeking of old memories. Memories of my mother and of Jacob arose. I recalled my mother's stories. I recalled how Jacob would sneak into my room when we were kids. He would walk from his house to mine. It wasn't far. I lived right near the reservation. It was about five minutes away on foot. He would climb the tree and get in through the window. We spent the entire night talking and messing around. We were best friends, we were inseparable.
I went and sat down on the chair that I would sit on and stare out into the world. I never looked at anything specific but it seemed to calm me all the same.
The sound of my phone vibrating startled me, I was in such deep thought. The caller ID was no one in my phonebook. "Hello?"
"Bell, where are you?"
Immediately I recognized the sound of Jacob's voice. "I don't feel like talking right now."
"Did you meet Leah?"
"Not exactly but we spoke." I didn't even know her name but I assumed we were speaking of the same girl. "She was very interesting."
"Don't pay any attention to what she said."
"I can't ignore it."
"You weren't supposed to find out."
"Why? Jacob, why did you not tell me? I thought you trusted me."
"How could I tell you that I didn't want you to marry him, how could I ruin your chances with him, granted I didn't know what he would do to you. I was under the impression that you were in love with him, who was I to prevent that? I had my chance and my time had passed. I hated him from the start but he made you happy.
"Yes, I was…it was shocking, to say the least, when you stopped calling me. It was even more shocking when I found out that you were doing it for him but I thought you were happy."
Tears began to escape me. "I thought I was. I'm so deeply sorry for what I did to you. I can never forgive myself. I made a mistake. I never should have granted him that control over me."
"So what now?"
"I'm going to finish things off with Edward and I'll be okay."
"What about us?"
"We were nothing more than friends. You have a girl who is great, she will defend you from anything the same way you would defend her. From what I have seen, she's your perfect match. She is you in a prettier form."
He chuckled. "She is me… She…we've been together for a longtime and it's occurred to me that…that I might want to marry her, I think I do."
"That's great." More tears began to flow. These tears seemed to burn far more than I imagined. "Marry her, Jacob, I know you'll be happy. Marry her."
"I want to marry her."
"Do it, if you feel it in your heart then it must be true."
"I have to go – I'll talk to you later." The line was dead within seconds. I brought my knees to chest and I cried harder. I was losing them both. My husband and…Jacob, I was losing them.
Hope it was a great reading adventure. I appreciated any feedback.
~Toodles.
