Here's a nice long chapter for you folks. I tried something else risky in this one. A stream of concious. I thought, "How often do you get a chance to use stream of concious?" What better than meditation. Hope it doesn't take the reader out of the story too much. Oh well, love to read what you wonderful people think.
"She feels deeply, that one. I know that worry's you in training her. But trust me Kurunai, she has a way of surprising you when you least expect it"
-The Fifth Hokage, while discussing the future of Sakura Haruno
From the Training Journal of Haruno Sakura, 29 March 112th Year of the Leaf
I hadn't trained in a dojo since my academy days. There was never any point with my Master or even under Kakashi-sensei. Chances were that the type of training we would be doingwould destroy the building. The Nara clan has a beautiful dojo, though, and genjutsu training would cause no harm to it. That was what Kurunai-sensei promised me anyway. The floor was pure mahogany wood, and there were no tatami mats. Sunlight filtered in through seven rectangular windows that were segmented and filled in with opaque paper in the traditional stylerather than glass. Light also sneaked its way through the thin crack that marked the parting point of the sliding doors at the entrance.
The front was adorned with a large balsa-wood shrine. Water cascaded down beneath the shrine through a fountain that was both outside and inside the dojo and into a pool of polisheddark rocks. Bright orange fish swam in the indoor pond, and the water trickled with a harmonious rhythm. The shrine was framed by two large golden gongs, and the Nara familyfounders were placed above the shrine. Shikamaru and his father were very gracious hosts, and fed us a breakfast of small pastries and eggs before Kurunai-sensei began the training.
My new teacher took the opportunity to review some genjutsu academics with me before we began, and already I began to learn new things. Once this conversation began, the Nara clan members excused themselves. All at once I was alone with team nine's former teacher. Her strange eyes made me feel uneasy, and her reputation for mind techniques made me wonder if even my thoughts were safe from her.
"Sakura," Kurunai-sensei began casually. "Kakashi tells me you are well read and are already very decent at dispelling simple genjutsu on your own is that correct?"
"Yes," I said. "Well, I mean I suppose. But I also know I haven't faced any really dangerous genjutsu yet."
"Indeed." nodded the genjutsu master. "Tell me, what do you know of creating your own genjutsu to attack with?"
I reverted back to my studies at once, producing a textbook answer from memory.
"In order to achieve a successful genjutsu, one must first establish a connection of the mind with an adversary. This can be accomplished through any of the five physical senses. For example, The mind can be ensnared through vision by means of a simple gesture. Other examples include the use of a properly encoded object such as a ring or fan. Its up to the shinobi to be subtle and find ways to combine or hide ensnaring gestures and items. In rare cases a bloodline limit such as the fabled Sharingan can enable the genjutsu user to "match senses" with the target. Audio connections can be established through music or . . ."
"That's fine, Sakura." Kurunai interrupted with a small amused smile. "What's the next step?"
I had to think for a moment, as my train of thought had been interrupted. It wasn't long before I remembered the next passage from the book, "The Art of Illusion." by Mai Shironai.
"Once a connection is formed the ninja must maintain control of the enemies's mind by forcing chakra through the neural pathways in a subtle manner. Forcing chakra too quickly will alert the target, and moving too slowly risks precious time in battle and leaves openings for the enemy. Also, if the target suspects an attack before the justu is complete they are likely to break free of their own willpower. Therefore, the ninja must understand the mind of the enemy, and use the art of illusion creatively to complete the mental trap."
"Very good, Sakura." said Kurunai nodding again with approval. "I can see where your reputation as the smartest in you class comes from."
I felt my spine straighten with pride.
"But one can know all the rules to Shogi, and still lose every time."
She just had to burst my bubble, didn't she?
"For example," Kurunai continued without sympathy. "How might you achieve a visual connection without your enemy ever knowing you are there?"
I had no answer. I could recall nothing in any of the books I had read. I hate not knowing the answer. It drives me almost insane. I thought I might blow a fuse if she didn't tell me the answer soon. Of course, she didn't. What was worse, she continued with more questions I could not answer.
"Or, what if you are up against another genjutsu user? How will you recognize your own genjutsu from that of the enemy? Don't assume just because an illusion was your idea that the enemy won't be able to turn it against you."
I was getting tired of this game. I felt like yelling and asking her to get to the point. I somehow managed to keep my emotions in check.
"Sensei," I said with as much sweetness as I could muster. "Please teach me."
"No, Sakura." the dark-haired woman said softly as she stood and smoothed her black kimono over her legs. "I can advise you and give you exercises that will help, but you are mistaken if you think I can teach you genjutsu. Its something you must teach yourself. Understand?"
I nodded, as I stood opposite her in the middle of the dojo. I understood the words, but I still wasn't sure about the meaning.
"Where do I begin?" I asked.
"Before you can master the minds of others," said my new teacher, "You need to become a master of your own mind."
"How do I do that?" I asked.
Kurunai smiled and held up a small green elliptical leaf.
"Meditation."
"Meditation?" I repeated dumbly. "What's the leaf for?"
"This will be your first anchor." Kurunai said.
"My . . . anchor?" I felt like some dumb tropical bird just repeating everything, but nothing was making any sense
"It's a tradition in Konoha." Kurunai explained. "I'm sure Iruka-sensei had you concentrate your chakra on leaves at the academy?"
Images flashed into my head. Images of fun days where I got to go home early after I made a leaf stuck to my forehead twirl like a pinwheel. Images of a delinquent Naruto and a few others being held late after school with Iruka-sensei because they had missed he exercise completely. It made me giggle.
Kurunai sensei raised a thin dark eyebrow. "What's so funny?" she asked pleasantly.
"Nothing." I said. "I just have fond memories of those days is all."
"Your anchor is the key to holding a genjustu once your connection to the mind is established." Kurunai explained. "You need to discover how to transform a physical object into another reality in your mind that it becomes the essence of your identity in the mind of your enemy. You've experience genjutsu before. If you think about Kakashi's style for instance, you'll recognize that he kept the leaf as his anchor when performing genjustu.
I thought back to that fist test Kakashi -sensei gave us. That first horrible genjustu, in which I had failed miserably at the sight of a mortally wounded Sasuke. My eyes widened as I remembered feeling light headed, as the wind blew and swirling around me were . . . leaves!
"Yes. Yes, I remember now that you mention it!" I said excitedly as something was finally beginning to make sense. I remembered another example. It was something Naruto told me about the genjutsu the Sand-nin endowed with Itachi's power had used on him. "And Uchiha Itachi's anchor must have been . . . the raven."
Kurunai nodded. "I had heard rumors he had gone to some animal or bird as his anchor. The raven suits him. So, its obvious from that example that you don't have to stick with leaves. Genjutsu is a very personal art. Always keep that in mind as you train. For instance, I prefer to anchor myself with a whole tree. Something so large is quite advanced though, so we always have students start out small."
"That makes sense, I guess." I said. But something wasn't sitting right with me yet. "But, I don't understand how this symbol is going to help me keep control of a mind."
"You misunderstand, Sakura." Kurunai said seriously. "The anchor doesn't help you hold the mind of the enemy, it makes sure you keep hold of your own."
My jaw dropped as my breath caught in my throat. Was she saying I could lose my own mind performing genjutsu?
"Genjustu can be very dangerous, Sakura. Even against a weak opponent, with no genjutsu experience or recognition of the threat, if you don't anchor yourself properly you could risk becoming lost in their mind. If this happens, your own neuro-pathways will begin to shut down as a fail-safe for the body, and you might never fully recover your mind, or your sanity. This is why we would never teach genjutsu to someone like your teammate, Naruto. The risk is too great for those without an aptitude for this kind of combat."
At last I thought I understood. But I had one more question.
"So, how do I know when I have a good anchor?"
"That, Sakura, is the question you must answer for yourself."
I nodded solemnly. This really wasn't going to be easy. It was difficult on a level I never imagined. My teacher placed the leaf gently into the palm of my hand, and closed my fingers around it for me. Holding my hand in both of hers, she looked at me with spiraling ruby eyes.
"Concentrate on this leaf, the peace of the dojo, and the flow of the water." she said. "Meditate, meditate, meditate. And just when you think you can't possibly keep it up any longer, meditate some more. I'll be back for you in the morning. Its best not to eat, and if you fall asleep, well, you'll just be wasting your time."
I tried not to look as terrified as I felt. What kind of patience was this going to require?
With that, my teacher left me. I was on my own.
"Master of my own mind?" I whispered to the leaf as I sat cross legged on the wooden floor and closed my eyes. I had only one more thought before I became lost in a long, long, meditative trance. "Naruto, I've gotten so much stronger, but I have a long way to go. Please wait for me."
"Ninja with unlimited imagination are limited only by the degree of faith they have in their ability to make their visions a reality."
-Mai Shironai, The Art of Illusion
From the Training Journal of Haruno Sakura, 30 March 112th Year of the Leaf
It is difficult to write from memory what goes on in the mind during meditation. Especially twenty four hours of meditation. The hunger and the fatigue are easy to remember. The soar muscles and the four different postures tried are easy to remember. But the ebb and flow of a mind that is trying to achieve a state of nothingness is difficult to recall. Yet somehow I must. I failed to understand my connection to my anchor. That much was obvious when Kurunai sensei came to test my progress this morning. There must be a clue somewhere. The following is my attempt to piece together the experience of the past day.
On crossed legs, I breathe in. Water flows, a leaf warms my forehead. My new cloths feel cool but they lift away along with my soul, my chakra. The chakra flows like the water, my eyes are light, my world is darkness. I breathe out.
I feel his breath on the back of my neck.
On my back, I inhale. Tine slows, fish splash, water trickles. A leaf stirs, a leaf falls. I search for te leaf, the wind catches it. I grasp for it. The wind takes it away. I fall, I spin. A water drop sends out ripples. I spin and ride among the ripples. I fall into the water, and I am swept away. I exhale.
I surrender under his gaze.
On my knees, I smell. Freshly cut grass. Candy and burning wood. The water boils. I am burned. A leaf is crushed, its debris scatters on the wind. A drop of sweat crawls down my spine. Time stops. Steam carries me away on the sound of howling wind. I sigh.
His power lingers in my soul.
On my hands I gasp. The leaf multiplies. A fog settles. Sweat pours like water. The leaves sail away, on the backs of tiny creatures. I am color. I am the void. I am everywhere. I am nowhere. A darkness disturbs my peace. I seethe.
Naruto.
Somehow I stayed conscious and focused . Somehow I fended off hunger. There has to be a lesson in this stream of consciousness somewhere. There seems to be two consistencies, and that is that again and again the object of my anchor, the leaf, eludes me or taunts me. The other is that my focus would drift to a far away place. On him. Kurunai sensei very quickly demonstrated my lack of progress.
I sensed her coming as she quietly entered the dojo, but I kept my meditation posture and did not break it even as she greeted me with a pleasant tone to her voice.
"That's enough for now Sakura," she told me, and at last I opened my eyes and stood to bow in greeting.
I had stood too quickly. My knees felt stiff and weak and I was starving. I thought I might pass out but I was determined not to lose face in front of my teacher. Somehow I fought off the dizzy spell that followed and managed a genuine smile. I noticed right away that Kurunai-sensei was not wearing her combat Kimono, but a simple black dress.
"Now then," said my teacher. "Lets see what you've learned about yourself. This won't take long. I'm going to place you in a simple genjustu. I'll be forming the connection so allow it to happen, I already know you are pretty good at dispelling. What I want you to do instead is try and form your anchor and hold onto it while my genjustu attempts to distract you. The longer you can hold your anchor will measure how well you are progressing."
"Yes, Sensei!" I said smartly. I prepared myself by adopting a comfortable posture. I could do this! I would prove it to her. All I would prove is that I have such a long way to go indeed.
I felt only a slight uneasiness as the light in Kurunai's ruby eyes flickered ever so slightly. A small sapling began to grow before my eyes in the middle of the dojo. It started as nothing more than a bean-stalk or weed, then slowly morphed into wood, almost as if Yamato Sensei were using his Mokto-jutsu. But I knew right away that I was now in Kurunai-sensei's genjustu. She still stood calmly in front to me and regarded me as if nothing unusual was happening. She even spoke with moving lips.
"Now, instead of forcing chakra through your own mind as you would to dispel this, reach out for mine with your chakra. Don't forget to visualize your anchor. You can take a leaf right off this tree if you wish, and make it your own."
I imagined a leaf being plucked by an invisible hand from the sapling as it continued to grow into a lager tree, and I was fascinated and encouraged as my imagination became reality in front of me. I commanded the leaf to hover in mid air in front of me, and made it spin slowly.
"Good." said Kurunai. "Now we are in a neutral genjustu state. Can you feel the difference between my mind and yours? "
I could. The chakra flow was different. And the alien mind was all around me. I felt almost like I had left my own body, but was somehow still seeing through my eyes. The sensation was very strange. I noticed as I got excited, my leaf began to dance and twirl more rapidly. I nodded to my teacher in response to her question.
"I . . . I revolve around that leaf, everything else is a flow. Like water."
Kurunai smiled at me and nodded. She seemed pleased.
"Good. I'm starting now. Hold that feeling for as long as you can."
Without warning, a vine crashed through the wooden floor and wrapped around my ankle. I know I squealed in surprise because I am still embarrassed about it. My leaf leapt toward the ceiling, and I fought desperately with my mind to bring it back down, but it wouldn't obey me. As my frustration began to set in, more vines crashed up through the floor, spraying me with wooden splinters. They wrapped around my wrists and my ankles. I was lifted from the ground, and noticed that a large tree was growing from behind me. The vines stretched out from its branches like snakes. A large wooden branch somehow wrapped around my waist. I felt small thorns cutting into my clothes and flesh. I searched frantically for my leaf, but it was no use. It was gone.
I tried to dispel the genjutsu, to at least recover myself and find a way to start again, but it was no use. The vine-branch around my waist tore at my bare mid-section. The vines around my ankles tore and shredded my pants as they pulled my legs apart like a wishbone. In terror I realized I was being racked, and it hurt.. A thin vine wrapped around my neck, and as it began to strangle me I tried to scream . . .
I suddenly found myself rolling on the ground clutching at my own throat. Kuranai-sensei was standing over me, offering me her hand. Trembling, I took it and she threw an arm around me to help steady me as I stood. She stayed their next to me, warm and supportive.
"I know that was difficult and painful Sakura," she said into my ear. "Please know I would never hurt you for real. You can see now how much trust this training is going to require from both of us. The effects will pass soon."
I had done horribly. What had I been doing for the past entire night and day?
"Sensei, I . . . I don't think I held it even for a second."
"Its alright Sakura. It can take even the most gifted students six months to a year to develop an anchor. Just keep working hard at it, and vary your meditation."
"Six months!" I repeated in dismay.
Kurunai turned to stand directly in front of me, a hand on each shoulder."
"Sakura, I know your eager to catch up with your teammates, but even Naruto's way of training with thousands of clones would be no help here. Genjustu is about one mind. If you get this down right, you'll be more than a match for anyone. Be patient with yourself."
"H-how should I vary the meditation?"
"Start by location. Then, when you progress a little further, I'll explain more about how to focus on your light and dark chakra separately, and how to use that to manipulate the mind."
This made sense to me in a strange way. There was a common thread linking each of the different elemental chakra. All chakra, regardless of its elemental affinity, was balanced between what ninja had come to term light and dark properties. The idea of genjustu on a basic level is to disrupt this balance in an enemy. I wondered if Naruto understood this. It had taken him a while to grasp elemental properties of chakra after all. Maybe there is still a chance I could catch up to him.
"You've had a long day and night." Kurunai said into my thoughts. My head snapped back up to meet her eyes as she spoke. "Take the rest of the day off, get some sleep, and then meditate the entire next day. I'll test you every other day."
"Okay," I agreed with a tired sigh. I was exhausted. It was time for something to eat and a lot of sleep. As I made my way home, I remembered something Tsunade told me about Naruto. It began with a question I asked her while I was struggling with the difficult training of learning to make antidotes for various poisons in Konoha's greenhouse. I don't know why but I didn't even write it down until now. This account is as detailed as I can remember it. I don't remember the date.
"Master," I asked. "Some of these antidotes are so complex! If you don't have them made in advance and the patient is dying in the field, what good can we do?"
"That's very perceptive, Sakura. There is an emergency procedure that I invented to withdraw most of a poison from the body, and I will teach it to you, but right now its far too advanced for you to learn."
It wasn't often that I questioned the Hokage's training methods, but not knowing this emergency method made me useless against poisons in battle, even if I could make an antidote. I knew saving Sasuke meant going up against Ochimaru, and he preferred to strike with snake summons with all kinds of exotic venoms that could kill in minutes, or even seconds. I dropped to my knees and bowed low, placing my head just inches above the tops of my hands in the most respectful bow I could manage.
"Please teach me now, Master! I'll learn that technique and master antidotes at the same time! I have no doubt."
Tsunade-sama was silent for a long time. I waited nervously while my heartbeat rang in my ears. Finally, she made the "chee" sound with her mouth that she sometimes does when she gets annoyed, and I thought she would refuse for sure.
Instead she said, "You are just like him, you know"
"Huh?" I risked looking up at the strange words. "Just like who?"
My master sighed and shook her head as she took off her latex lab gloves and tossed them in a nearby wastebasket. "Like Naruto. I once told him a technique was too advanced for him. You know what he told me?"
"Probably that he would beat you up with it," I said after a moments consideration.
My master laughed. "No, no, he already tried that. He told me he would learn it in three days. I gave him five and bet that necklace he wears. Turns out he needs it more than me anyway."
Thinking of that necklace made me remember the day he came back with Tsunade-Sama. The day that she healed Sasuke. The day that Naruto and Sasuke fought on that rooftop, and the night Sasuke left. It had all happened so fast. In just one day my whole world, the whole reason I felt I existed at the time, came crumbling down. I relived again that horrible moment as Sasuke ignited his Chidori in a shower of blue sparks and an ear-splitting chirping noise and Naruto . . .
"Rasengan!" I gasped in startled realization. "The technique was the Rasengan."
My master nodded. "He learned it, and the first time he used it correctly was in a real battle. He saved my life."
I felt myself gaping at my teacher.
"Sakura Haruno," Tsunade-sama declared in a formal tone. "I'm going to teach you my emergency poison extraction technique! Use it wisely, for I'm holding you to your word."
"Yes Mam!" I barked.
In a month I could extract poison safely from a fish. In two, from a pig. Three months later from a horse. The next week after that, Naruto returned. The training was supposed to take two more years. The first time I used it, was on Kankuro in the Hidden Village of the Sand.
I will learn my anchor in record time too. I just need to believe like Naruto.
