Author's note: I haven't updated Nothing is the Same for a long time- and I'm sorry. I haven't given up, I promise! So here's another update. Thank you to everybody that's waited for me.
Izi Wilson: Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
Leah's POV
"Hey, sis, you okay?"
I glanced over my shoulder, to see Dylan come running up to me.
"I'm fine…" I sighed.
He raised his eyebrows. "You don't look fine. You've been moping around the camp. Even Tadashi can't cheer you up, which means something is definitely wrong. Leah, you have a problem, don't you."
I shrugged again. "I guess. You don't need to worry about it."
"You're my sister. Of course I need to worry about it."
Normally a comment like that would have made me happy, but it didn't. I was frustrated. Tired of being called a liar and a traitor- a spy, a monster. I wanted to help Gogo but I didn't know how to. It was as simple as that. I didn't know how! And people could just leave me alone and actually understand that!
Whenever I got mad or frustrated, the air around me would drop several degrees. It never bothered me- I hadn't felt cold for years- but Dylan noticed it and shivered slightly.
"I'm sorry," I sighed. "But everybody thinks I'm a traitor. A spy. An enemy. Everyone is watching me to see what I could ruin next, and I can feel it." I turned to look at him. "What can I do about it? No matter what, everybody looks at me and only sees the darkness and hatred. They'll never see anything else. Even the other demigods- even the metallicas, who were built to cause fear, are trusted more, because everything they did was on my orders. Everyone knows I'm the one that was in control- that raised the army, rebelled against the gods, planned to destroy them. And because of that, nobody will ever trust me."
"They knew who you used to be, Leah," Dylan sighed. "They don't know the you that I remember." He looked me in the eyes with that thoughtful expression of his that I'd always loved. "Don't you remember what you used to be like?"
I shook my head. "No. My memory only goes back as far as your death." Trying to think back to that was hard in itself- forcing me to push through endless days of hatred, of misery, of… did I dare say it? Insanity. Bitterness had claimed my mind, destroyed who I was, turned me into a hateful monster. And in a way- that hateful monster was still alive, just waiting, snarling in some hidden cave, where I tried to pretend that it didn't exist. But it was there- and I was afraid of it.
Dylan smiled- for once he didn't seem to be able to tell how I was feeling. "Let me remind you. You were loyal, honest, loving, caring… everything a good sister should be. Those traits you think have always been there- the arrogance, the pride… you weren't like that. You were more of a breeze- not a storm. So gentle, and kind. That was one of the reasons why I loved you so much. It was only when we got older than you started to get stubborn. That was always entertaining- you and mom would always argue about the silliest of things. It was hilarious- you were so much smaller, and yet you had such intensity… It was kind of admirable. And impressive."
"Our mom. Tell me more about her."
"She was beautiful," he said instantly. "She looked a lot like you. Blue eyes… her hair was a little darker than yours though. It was strange, when you were born with amber hair. Everyone was sure you'd either be black haired or blond."
"You're younger than me, how do you know this?" I raised my eyebrows.
"I talked to mom about you," he shrugged. "This particular conversation was after the time with the cat. Remember that?"
I nodded. "Yeah." There had been a little stray alley cat. The little animal had been wild with pain and almost scratched my eyes out, but I'd insisted on bringing it home and feeding it, making our mom help it. But it was almost like that had happened in another universe- all my memories before Dylan's death were too bright, the colors too shiny, the shapes blurred, and these sounds little more than hums. I hadn't tried to think back that far in a long time- and I was shocked by how hard it was. I tried not to look back that far- so that I didn't have to make my way through the pain.
I took a deep breath, and forced myself to smile. "Thanks Dylan."
"Do you feel even a little bit better?"
"Yes." No.
"Then I've done my job as a younger brother."
I took his hand, giving it a light squeeze. "One of us has to do our job." I've been a terrible big sister for you, and I'm sorry.
I left Dylan where he was and made my way to the Big House. Tadashi wanted me to look like I was doing something? Fine. Whatever.
I knew the way to her room- I'd been that way hundreds of times.
I pushed the door open and walked in, ignoring Dakota, who tensed up instantly. He had served under me in my demigod and monster army, but had eventually betrayed me- probably, I suspected, because he had feelings for Gogo. I prided myself in being able to read people- it had helped me manipulate them- and right now I was getting an outright feeling of hostility from him.
"Hey Dakota," I sighed.
"Leah."
"You know I'm trying to help, so calm down."
"I'm trying," he replied. "But I can't forget you're the one who did this to her in the first place."
My eyes narrowed, but I tried to hold the anger back. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, Leah. Stay calm.
I ignored him, and placed a hand on Gogo's forehead. It was freezing cold, and I shuddered slightly. I'm so so so sorry…
I looked over at Dakota. "If she starts getting warmer, tell me. That means she's recovering."
"That's it?!" he demanded. "You can't do anything to help?"
"Nobody can help her," I replied. "Nobody- except for herself."
