Max POV:
I stood at the counter, waiting behind a blond woman, tapping my foot impatiently. Since neither Fang nor I had ever been inside a Victoria's Secret before, we were at a complete loss of where to find the items. Of course, even though they were hidden, they would still be in the general area of the item—a rule made for those who had huge department stores.
"Next!" the lady at the counter called. She looked at me, and then shifted her gaze to Fang. Her smile grew wider and much more pronounced as she looked him over.
"Well, hello. I'm Delilah. How may I help you?" I glared at her, not missing the way she was only talking to Fang.
"Yes, we were just looking for a couple items and we were wondering if you could point us in the general direction," I said icily. She looked at me, irritated. I smirked.
"Alright, what do you want?" She glared at me. I almost laughed, it was so funny—I had been chased down by the very hounds of hell, and some random girl shows up in my life thinking she can scare me by staring me down.
Of course, my laughter died before it even reached my mouth as I watched Fang hand Delilah the card and casually brush his hand across hers. I knew he was just doing it to taunt me, but telling myself that didn't really help. I glowered at him, and he smirked back, his smile full of mockery.
"Alright, come right this way please." Mrs. Flirt waved us behind her as she walked out from behind her counter. About half a foot shorter than me, she walked like a supermodel—hips swaying, ass shaking, the whole enchilada. Even her hair seemed to sway with vanity, as if it was saying, "I'm only dead cells and I'm more beautiful than YOU." I swallowed a groan and set off behind her and Fang, who was trailing behind her like a lost puppy.
"Alright, over here is our lingerie section. . . The model you're looking for has been hidden away for the Amazing Chase, or something. I don't really know." Delilah said, smiling sweetly. I swear, if I hadn't had practiced years of resisting temptation, I would have punched her right then and laughed in her face.
I nodded tightly. "That's why we are here. You don't actually think we would randomly walk in here of our own free will, do you?" Only Fang would notice that my words weren't as carefree and happy as they sounded. Delilah looked at me, probably startled.
"Oh. . . Of course, of course," she said, grimacing, and then struggling to turn it into a smile. I tried not to roll my eyes. Not everyone is a total nutcase, to spend their life working here.
Fang chortled and walked away, swinging the basket along with him. He'd already found four of the eight items: a slip, make up by the ton, a pair of high-heeled boots that could kill with the pencil-thin heels, and, of course, the bra. He'd found the least harmless of the lot: the slip minus the garter, the make-up being the samples that the store sold, shoes that had the thickest heels the store owned (though that was still really thin), and a strapless bra that had the words 'monkeys' printed down the side. Even though I knew it was a hopelessly childish thing to do, I stuck my tongue out at the girl and jogged to catch up with Fang.
"I don't think you're really needed anymore, so you can go back now!" I called back as I ran. I didn't wait to see her stick her nose out at me, and turned back to Fang's figure.
"Someone's jealous!" Fang was really pissing me off, and that wasn't the best thing to say at this point. I glared at him and wordlessly snatched the basket away. He chuckled and followed me as I stalked away.
I checked the card, struggling to hold the basket up and read it at the same time. From behind me, Fang's calloused hands gently tugged the card out of my hands.
"You don't have to do everything by yourself, Max," he whispered in my ear. He crossed off the four items he'd already found, and looked at me as to what we would do next. I sighed; there was no use in giving him the silent treatment now.
"Fine, come on. We're going to look for the bikinis." I grimaced and then turned to walk off in a direction. Fang stopped me, grabbing me around the waist and holding me in place.
"Ah, what?!" I struggled against his hold, hoping he wouldn't do something stupid right in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Not only would that not go down well with Mildred-the-180-Year-Old, but it probably wouldn't go down so well with the rest of the world either.
Fang raised his eyes, obviously figuring out what I thought he was trying to do, probably from my expression. He let go of me, but before I could turn around and march off in the opposite direction, he pointed towards a small isle in the middle of the hot-pink store.
"You were going the wrong way. Over to the underwear section. Weren't you paying attention when Delilah was pointing everything out?" I could tell he was just adding on that last part to spite me, but I ignored it. I was already facing my doom, why add to my misery by getting mad at my best friend? I turned around and walked towards the rack, grabbing the first thing I could find that looked somewhat harmless.
Fang looked at it questioningly, but before the words reached his mouth I was already untangling the tag and reading it out loud, "It says adjustable triangle top and below the waistline bottom. Price: $31.42."
He nodded and I chucked it in the basket, watching it fall in perfectly and smiling. Fang shook his head in amusement.
"I guess it's time to head over to the lingerie section." He said after glancing at the card again, "There are two models we need to buy over there."
I stopped smiling. "Ella hates us, doesn't she?" I took the basket and hoisted it up my shoulder, walking out of the aisle. Fang followed, stuffing the card in his back pocket.
"Nah, she didn't mean for us to get the card, she just wrote it. I will say this though: she has a diabolical mind." Fang said as he caught up with me. "The lingerie section is over there."
"And you would know that, wouldn't you?" I muttered. Of course, it was around then we actually entered the section. I stopped dead in my tracks. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed Fang had stopped as well, eyes widened about a fraction of an inch. He was just as surprised as me.
I took a deep breath. "F-Nick, what are the two types of lingerie we're supposed to buy?" I turned to look at his rather white face.
"I believe it says the 'baby doll bridal lingerie' and any other type," Fang breathed. He stared at the lingerie section for a moment, and looked back at me. "I'm not wearing any of this, at all."
I sighed. In the midst of all this horror, I'd almost forgotten that the worst part had yet to come: actually wearing the items we were finding.
Turning back to the lingerie, I looked for the least exposing one I could find. "Fang, get your butt over here and help me find one!" I called without turning to look at him. So, naturally, he had to sneak up behind me and figure out a way of spooking me. And, of course, that resulted in a very spastic me whirling around and kicking right in the guts so hard he flew back landed on a small pile of see-through lingerie.
"Ow. God, tense much?" He muttered, rubbing his stomach. I glared at him.
"If youare done acting like a child, could you help me find the bridal lingerie? I think I found an okay lingerie, as far as lingerie go." I mumbled, sifting through the huge piles of clothing. Fang groaned.
"And on top of all of this, they just have to play this song!" Fang said, suddenly appearing next to me. I raised an eyebrow at him; Fang wasn't one to care about what music he listened to.
"Nudge has been singing it nonstop. This morning, in the car, everywhere. You don't remember it?" He asked. But I couldn't really think of an answer at that moment, because, all of a sudden, Fang kneeled down across from me, and placed his hands in the pile of clothing. His cool, sweet breath fanned out on my face and his hands brushed against mine. He had his face lowered, looking at the mini dresses through his long lashes. I blushed, when he looked up to see why I hadn't answered and caught me staring.
"Sorry." I muttered and went back to sorting through the piles to find a lingerie that matched Ella's description. I didn't speak much after that: I didn't know what was wrong with me. After all, Fang was my best friend… But sometimes, he seemed to want more than that, and sometimes, I was willing to give that to him. (A/N: And to all you pervs reading this, 'NOT LIKE THAT') My mind was too cluttered with confused thoughts for me to say anything, and Fang seemed to sense that. At least, he didn't push any further conversation, and I didn't start one.
With no one talking, the work got done much faster. In no time at all, we had found the underwear and the lingerie, both of which were scaring me. I walked to the counter, hoping that we had taken long enough for Delilah's shift to be over. Luck was in my favor: Delilah was walking out of the store arm-in-arm with a bemused looking gangster-dude. I almost snorted, wondering where Fang was and wishing he was here to see this.
As if on cue, Fang appeared to my right, holding the bag of items we'd found. His eyes followed my gaze and stopped on Delilah who was now pushing the guy against the wall, pressing herself to him and running her hands up and down his face. I made a face and looked up and Fang. Surprisingly, he was smirking, the light dancing in his eyes, something I didn't see often.
"And you think I actually care what she's doing?" He said, staring at me.
"Well, of course! You followed her around the store like a lost puppy!" I hissed. Of course I thought he cared. For a normal teenage boy it was perfectly normal to care about jerks like her. But, I guess, Fang's not exactly someone you can call 'normal.'
"Max, you're smart, funny, beautiful, and blind. Why on Earth would I go following girls like her, when I have a Ms. Perfect right next door?" Fang laughed. He turned and walked up to the counter to pay for the items, leaving me behind with my mouth wide open and my mind even more confused than before.
"Come on, Alex!" Fang called out. I gave a start as I heard my fake name, and then realized Fang was already making his way to the picnic tables again. I raced out of the store. No matter how confused I was, I wasn't befuddled enough to want to stay in that mental asylum for any longer. I would be plain stupid to want that.
"God, Nick. Wait for me!"
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A/N: Awesome! I luvluvluv doing these!!
Fang: Yeah, you only like it 'cause Iggy's here....
Iggy: Hah, never think I'd see a day when Fang pouts!
Me: Well, unfortunately, I just got a call from the Sock-Monkeys on Uranus.
Fang: The whats?
Me: The Sock Monkeys. They're gay ninja monkeys who eat your head with a sock if you're naughty.
Iggy: ... Are you eating your veggies, kids? Or else the Sock Monkeys will eat you!!
Fang: Anyways, why are you telling us this?
Me: -sadly- Well, they need Iggy to help them protect the wigwam up there.
Iggy: Wait, WHAT?
Me: Yes, sadly. Hocus Pocus Fiddle Sticks! Oh Great Almighty Groudon and Kyogre please help us transport Iggy to Uranus!
Fang: Woah, woah! You're not actually summoning them here, are you?
Iggy: Hold up!! Don't I get any say in this? I mean, I am the one being transported to Uranus!!! Hey, I can't breathe in outer space! I hope you know that Princess!
Me: Ikki ikki. Akka akka. Tiki Tiki. Hoo hoo hoo. -dances around Iggy in a circle wearing a grass skirt and a headress-
Fang: Haha, love the outfit, Princess.
Iggy: -disappears in a spray of water-
Me: Thank you O Legendary Ones! May the PokeForce be with you!
Fang: -sighs- Hey, R&R while we wait for Iggy to return, guys. Thanks!
