A/N: Mm, since someone has already asked this, I might as well just point it out here…yes, Sohma Kana is meant to be Honda Tohru. :) I guess I don't want that bit to be confusing for readers, nor do I want it to be too obvious from the beginning. The point of this story is not for you guys to guess who Sohma Kana really is, but rather to see how her double identity has affected everyone involved. I hope it works out! I've never really written a story like this, I think.
By the way, thank you KaUiA and Misa.D for your lovely reviews! Your words of encouragement are really helping me out as I struggle through the writing process!
As a side note…ff . net has really changed since I last posted writing! You can reply to individual reviews now ~ crazy! I feel bad for all my old reviewers in past stories whose questions I never really answered (especially after the story was completed). I will try my best now to reply to my reviewers! If you guys have questions or concerns, please write to me. :)
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Chapter Two: Of Dust and Memory
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Haruhi thanked whatever higher authority existed in the universe that the twins didn't follow her to the library today. Only three days into the new term, and already there was a major research report assigned! Whatever time she was given alone to search the shelves for a good Japanese historical figure to write about was time she would take with a grateful heart. The fact that the twins had a habit of procrastinating on their assignments up till the very last minute helped too. She had at least one week of quiet bliss amongst the stacks before they'd start whining at her to help them figure out what they should have days earlier.
With a sigh of contentment, Haruhi took her time wandering down the section of bookcases with all the Japanese history texts. She didn't have any figure in mind yet, but thought that maybe a book would pop out at her as she walked. Even the noise coming from the "study" areas in the distance couldn't irritate her, as she let the layers of dust, age, and old paper smell fall upon her like a protective blanket against the storm.
Wait.
Haruhi cocked her head, stopping in her tracks. What was that sound?
"There's so many…I don't know…what should I do…"
It was a girl's voice, closer than the buzzing sounds of the socializing students in the study areas – just one aisle over. She sounded a bit distressed. Who could it be though? Even with big assignments like the research report, Haruhi rarely encountered someone in the stacks at the same time as her. The library was so large, after all.
The resident scholarship student reached the end of the aisle, and took a sharp left to peer into the aisle next door. If it were a regular at the host club, she'd prefer to wait till hosting time to handle the girl's chatter. Not that Haruhi had anything against the girls she met at the host club. Most of them were pleasant to talk to, and very supportive of her circumstances. But they were a handful, and their exuberance sometimes gave her a headache if she spent too long in their company.
"Ah…" Haruhi blinked. It wasn't a host club participant.
Sohma Kana stood facing a long row of books, biting her lip and worrying the cuff of her uniform with small fingers, clean and paint-free unlike the many other Ouran females. She looked a little agitated, and kept turning her head from side to side to look at all of the texts on the shelf. Haruhi watched her lift a hand to touch the binding of one, before taking her hand back and hesitantly touching another.
"Maybe this one? Or, oh, I don't know…this one?"
She did this a few more times, muttering under a breath, before Haruhi decided to step in.
"Ano, Sohma-san?"
"Waa!"
Haruhi jerked in surprise as the girl in question jumped away from the bookcase with a yelp, stumbling backwards. Clouds of dust burst from where she had previously been perusing the shelf. For a moment, the only sounds came from the two girls, both coughing and waving their hands in front of their faces to clear the air.
"S-Sorry," Haruhi managed to wheeze after a minute, "I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?"
"O-Oh!" Sohma-san waved her hand in front of her face a few more times; her cheeks were a light pink. "So sorry, I didn't mean to – there's so much dust…" She tucked a thin strand of chestnut brown hair behind her ear, and finally looked at Haruhi.
"Ano," the light of recognition sparked on her features, "you're from my class?"
Haruhi smiled at her. "Yes, that's right. I'm Fujioka Haruhi. You're the new transfer student, Sohma Kana, right?"
For a second, Sohma-san simply stared at her. Then a flash seemed to go off in her head, and she held a hand up to her cheek. "Oh, yes! Yes, that's…that's me!"
The pause in the transfer student's answer was strange. But before Haruhi could think much more of it, Sohma-san laughed, her eyes crinkling up in a smile, "Sorry, I was confused for a minute there. I'm still…getting used to things, I think. It's nice to officially meet you, Fujioka-san."
It was the first time Haruhi had seen her smile since her trembling one on the first day of school. To be honest, ever since her introduction, Haruhi had paid little attention to the girl. She didn't seem to interact much with the rest of the class, and always disappeared over the lunch break. This was Haruhi's first actual conversation with her.
"Ah, you as well, Sohma-san."
"Oh, please," Sohma Kana clasped her hands in front of her, still smiling, "call me Kana. It would help me get used to it, I think."
Haruhi frowned in confusion, "I'm sorry?"
Kana laughed, "Ah! So sorry! I should explain, shouldn't I?" She scratched her cheek thoughtfully. "Um…well, Hatori-san told me my name when I woke up in the hospital. But I can't remember many things it seems, so he said it might take me a little while to get used to it. Something like that? Ehehe~"
Haruhi blinked, trying to process what Kana just said. "…You were in the hospital recently?"
"Oh yes, I woke up a month ago! Hatori-san said I was out for quite awhile. But he's been so kind, helping me adjust."
"I see…"
Truthfully, Haruhi didn't see at all. But she didn't want to pry – hospitals and things like forgotten names seems like a serious matter to her. Perhaps Kana was simply trying to avoid the subject by giving half-answers.
Instead, the scholarship student changed the subject. Looking around at the books, she asked, "Were you looking for something in particular here Kana? I noticed you seemed troubled when I came by."
Kana glanced at the bookcase as well. She bit her lip. "Ah…yes, well, I was just looking for a topic. For the research paper we were assigned today."
"Oh, was that it? Me too. I was in the aisle next to you." Haruhi moved to stand next to the new girl, looking at the books as well, "Did you decide on who you want to write about?"
Kana frowned, a little fretfully. "No…it's a little difficult choosing just one person. And there's so many books!"
"That's true. Well, we just started the Edo period this week…is there someone we've discussed that's caught your interest?"
"This week? Ah…" Kana let out an even larger sigh and laughed again, this time without her previous cheer, "I'm afraid I haven't been doing too well in school this week."
It was then that Haruhi noticed the bags underneath Kana's eyes. She smiled sympathetically. "It must be hard adjusting to a new school after the year has already started."
"Oh no, nothing like that." When Kana smiled, it was self-deprecating. "Everyone at Ouran has been so nice to me. I feel awful that I haven't been able to get to know my classmates at all. It's just that…well, I'm just not very bright, I think. I was supposed to be a third-year, but when I took the placement test to transfer in to Ouran, I only managed to enter second-year! And even then, classes…"
"…Are difficult?" Haruhi asked gently, when Kana didn't continue.
The transfer nodded. If she were a puppy, her ears would have been hanging low.
She whispered, "I even study during lunch breaks. But it's so hard to find a place where it's quiet…and I have trouble concentrating when everyone is having so much fun around me."
Ah, that would explain why no one ever saw her at lunch.
Though bright and carefree just a few minutes ago, at the moment the Sohma girl looked so dejected that Haruhi couldn't help feeling sorry for her. It was clear that she was trying her best.
Not knowing what to do, Haruhi tried asking more questions, "Have you spoken to our teachers about this? Or, maybe a tutor?"
Kana's head shot up in distress, "Oh no, I couldn't! I couldn't possibly trouble others because of me!"
"Ah, you wouldn't…I mean, that's their job, isn't it? I'm sure our teachers would want to know if you're having trouble understanding the material."
"No, no, this is my battle! I just have to work harder, I know it!" Kana's eyebrows furrowed in determination, her fist clenched in front of her. "I just have to graduate high school, that's all. That's my goal!"
Haruhi was surprised. "No college?" Most everyone at Ouran went on to college. They could afford it after all, and almost everyone at Ouran was an heir, to some degree, to family businesses that would require them to go into further studies after high school.
Kana shook her head. "No, I don't think I'm made for college. I just need to graduate high school. That's really important to me…I think."
Again, there was that feeling that Haruhi shouldn't pry. Kana's eyes had a distant look to them. Her gaze was directed towards the books in front of her, but she didn't seem to be seeing them.
Haruhi thought for a moment.
"Kana," she began, breaking the girl out of her reverie, "what if I helped?"
"Eh? Help?"
Haruhi grinned. "I usually eat lunch in the classroom. If you want, we could eat together, and I can answer any questions you have."
"Oh no, Fujioka-san, that's so much trouble!"
"I told you, just call me Haruhi. And it's no trouble at all. The twins eat in the cafeteria, so it would be nice to have company for a change." The commoner chose not to mention that the twins asked her to eat with them constantly, but she always refused. Lunchtime was another one of her brief respites among the craziness that was her Ouran life. But helping Kana shouldn't be nearly as draining as catering to Hikaru and Kaoru.
"The twins…?" Kana cocked her head. "Oh! You mean Hiitachin-san?"
"Yeah. You know their names?"
Kana blushed a bright red, looking down shyly. "One of them has orange hair. It's…pretty."
"Oh, that would be Kaoru. I think it's more of an auburn color but…you like it?" Haruhi smiled. "You should come visit the host club after school some time. Hikaru, Kaoru and I all host there. You could designate him if you want." Privately, she wondered what the twins would do if someone designated just one of them, rather than the package deal. It hasn't happened before, but there was a first for everything, right?
Kana's eyes widened. She stared right at Haruhi. "Eh? Fujioka-san-"
"Haruhi."
"A-Ah…ano…Haruhi…you host? But aren't you…?"
Haruhi guessed what Kana was trying to ask.
"…Female?" The commoner chuckled. "Yeah, I am. It's a long story."
"…I see…" Kana replied, even though she clearly didn't.
Laughing, Haruhi shook her head. "Maa, I will tell you some other time. Maybe during lunch tomorrow?"
"Oh, but…"
The scholarship student interrupted her, "It wouldn't be any trouble, I promise. It would be nice to eat with a friend. We're friends now, right?"
Haruhi turned her head to look directly at Kana.
At first, Kana simply stared at her in wonder. Then, slowly, a brilliant smile lit up the Sohma girl's entire face. It was so bright, Haruhi felt as if she were standing in warm sunlight.
"Okay! Jaa, I'm really looking forward to it, Haruhi-san!"
Kana looked so happy, that Haruhi didn't bother telling her to drop the honorific.
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'DO IT, HATORI! ERASE IT!'
'YOU STUPID WOMAN! HOW DARE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF MY EQUAL!'
'KYO IS MINE. HE BELONGS TO ME. YOU ARE NOTHING TO US.'
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"Momiji, why are you here? You know Akito won't like it if he finds out."
"Haru visited you, didn't he? I wanted to see Yuki too!"
"…I didn't approve of him visiting either."
"Yuki…" Momiji tilted his head where he sat on the bare tatami floor of Yuki's room, "…are you mad?"
It was just the two of them, Momiji and Yuki, sitting in the spacious room that Yuki had grown up in while at the Sohma main house. Momiji sat at the low table in the center of the space. A tea set sat in front of him. Yuki stood, staring out the open sliding door, overlooking a tranquil pond and one of the inner gardens. It was an idyllic living space – peaceful and quiet, like the rat himself.
But Yuki did not look happy. Momiji could tell.
As he stood facing the pond, the rat's eyes were restless. Dark circles stood out like ink splotches on a pale white sheet of paper. Though he had been thin before, he clearly had lost weight since the last time Momiji had seen him. He wore a plain cream-colored yukata that hung loosely on his shoulders.
Yuki turned to look at Momiji, his mouth set in a thin line.
"I just don't want anyone else to get hurt."
'Akito can't hurt me anymore,' is what Momiji wanted to say, 'I'm free.'
Instead, Momiji smiled. His strong smile.
"I know. I'll leave soon."
At the rabbit's promise, Yuki looked outside at the garden one last time. He sighed deeply, his bony shoulders loosening. Finally, the rat came to sit down next to Momiji.
His voice was soft, as he looked down at the tea set. "Thank you, for coming to see me."
Though Yuki wasn't looking, Momiji smiled again. For real this time.
The two sat in relative silence for a few minutes. Yuki went about pouring them both cups of tea, and they spent some time enjoying the peace and quiet. Though it was warm outside – with fall only beginning – Momiji appreciated the hot porcelain cup that Yuki gave him. He wrapped his fingers around it, clutching the small dishware as if to absorb its warmth into his skin. Since he was first told that Tohru had disappeared, Momiji had been cold.
The young half-German broke the silence.
"Manabe-senpai and Sakuragi came looking for you on Monday."
"Oh…really? Did the principal not tell them?"
"No, apparently not. Sakuragi was hopping mad!" Momiji laughed. It was an empty sound. "I said hello to him in the hallway today, and he refused to look at me."
Yuki wore a troubled look. "I'm sorry Momiji, he shouldn't have done that. I should have…I could ha-"
"It's not your fault."
Yuki turned his face away, but Momiji could see his frustration anyway in his clenched fists, trembling on the table. Really, there wasn't anything that Yuki could have done though. He had been confined that day, without warning.
For a minute there was no sound other than the bubbling of the tiny fountain in the pond outside.
Finally, "Ne…Yuki?"
"Hai."
It wasn't a good time to ask this question…that was obvious. Yuki's right hand was still clenched, and his left was running through his messy gray hair. His dark circles were prominent. He was deliberately not looking at the young rabbit sitting next to him.
But Momiji wanted…no. Needed to know. The fire of his need was the only thing keeping him from turning into ice.
Despite the burning sensation though, Momiji's voice was small.
"Why did Akito do it?"
'Why would he give Tohru to us, only to take her away?'
Silence.
"…Yuki?"
The rat did not look at him. Not once. His voice was muffled against his shoulder, as he turned away from Momiji.
"Akito summoned her here. He only wanted to intimidate her, I think. But…she asked him that day. Tohru asked."
"Asked?" Momiji tried to urge Yuki on gently, even though the burning in his chest kept telling him go faster. Faster. Hurry, find out the truth. "Asked for what?"
Yuki's eyes met Momiji's then. "For Akito to let us go. To let the cat…go."
This time it was Momiji's turn to go silent. He stared blankly at Yuki as the rat continued.
"She just asked! No consideration for herself, no thinking about the consequences. She begged Akito. And Akito…was furious."
'But…the curse is already breaking! She didn't have to ask. I'm free!'
This was a big mistake. Momiji knew, because he was already free! He had meant to tell Tohru…he was free! The curse was breaking! Didn't she know?
Didn't she know that she didn't have to ask? That she could still be with everyone? That she wasn't alone?
He had to find her and tell her. The curse was disintegrating. And there was nothing Akito, nor the Sohma clan, could do about it.
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A/N: Man oh man was this chapter hard to write. My apologies for such a short Momiji section here…with all the drama, I felt that I shouldn't draw it out more than it already was. And the Haruhi/Kana part was so draining to write already!
I hope Kana's fascination with Kaoru's "orange" hair is recognizable.^^
For your information (in case it clarifies anything), this is all happening after Tohru had realized her feelings for Kyo (and vice versa). In particular, this was after Tohru burst in on Shigure and Rin discussing the curse breaking, and crying out that it had to be broken before spring. So Kyo wouldn't be confined.
I chose Momiji for the main point of view from the 'Furuba' side of things for a couple of reasons. One, he's free. He's more likely to seek the answers that the other Juunishi are too afraid to ask. Two, he loves Tohru. He knows she loves Kyo (though he doesn't know that she realized this herself and that's why she was so desperate to break the curse soon), but he can't help loving Tohru. Thus, his desire to find her, and his ability to do so, is much stronger than anyone in the Juunishi at the moment. Apart from Hatori, who doesn't count because he has regular contact with Tohru.
I didn't do an entire flashback of the day when Akito erased Tohru's memories, simply because I didn't feel that it was terribly necessary to the story. What do you think? Since I have this entire series (mostly) worked out in my head already, I feel that perhaps I may be blind to how it's read by you guys. If you're very confused at this point, please let me know!
P.S. I'm having trouble with my quotation marks these days. Forgive me for any grammatical misses. I can't seem to decide whether or not to stick to standards, or simply throw them out the window for dramatic effect. We'll see how this goes!
