Chapter 2:

Weeks went by where I was jumpy, unfocused, and even slower than normal. I stopped listening to anyone around me, with the exceptions of Puck and Mr. Shue. Rachel was convinced I was loosing my mind, and the rest of my friends didn't trust me to lead them to Nationals. Puck kept trying to tell people I was just stuck in a junior slump, and that I would come around the closer we got to our senior year. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

Kurt was the only one who seemed to think this was deeper than just being bored with high school, or stressed about nationals. But we had stopped communicating the night he accused me of being gay. I could feel his eyes on me though, attempting to crack the code to get into my head and learn my secrets.

Today was no different. I was sitting in one of the hard, red plastic chairs in the choir room, waiting for the rest of the group to show up. The only ones there were Sam and Mike, who were messing with the instruments. I sighed, and started picking at my nails. I wished they were painted a pretty shade of green, to match the shirt I was wearing. That's what I'll do, I thought, go buy some nail polish after school. Maybe if I just painted my toes, nobody would see it but me.

Grinning to myself, I watched my friends file in. Mr. Shue was standing by the piano, talking with Brad.

"Okay guys, this week's theme is a little different than most weeks…" Everyone groaned at Mr. Shue's words.

"But Mr. Shue, we have to practice for-" Rachel was cut off by Santana, who was so busy insulting her that none of us heard what Mr. Shue said.

"This week, I want you all to pick a song that has to do with your biggest insecurities…" Another collective groan, "And there will be partners. That doesn't mean you have to do a duet, you can each sing a song, sing one together, or sing two together. But you have to work with your partner to make this performance the best it can be."

My heart was thumping rather loudly in my chest. My biggest insecurity? Were there any songs about being transgender? The only song that played in my mind was Born This Way, but that wasn't really for me. And what was my partner supposed to say? Maybe I should just make up some other thing I am insecure about or something… but then it wouldn't be an authentic performance. I was lost in thought, but Mr. Shue's next words yanked me from my head.

"… And we will be drawing names from a hat to decide partners. Since we have an uneven number of Kids, the last person can either pick to do it on their own, or join a group to make three. Tina, you're first."

WHAT? We not only had to face our biggest insecurity, but we had to do it with a random person. I was praying that I would be last, so I could do it on my own. Tina went bravely to the front of the room and pulled a strip of paper out of a hat Mr. Shue was holding.

"Sam Evans," Tina said. Sam moved to sit with her, and Artie was called to the front.

"Mike Chang," Artie called out. Mike moved by Artie, and the boys high-fived. Mercedes picked her partner next, which was Brittany. Mercedes looked a little disappointed, but the two smiled at each other.

"Rachel, you're next," she moved to the front.

"Rachel Berry," she muttered awkwardly. Mr. Shue told her to pick again. The next three draws were people who were already picked. Finally, her partner ended up being Santana Lopez.

Quinn's pick was next. I wasn't sure who I wanted her to get. The only options left were Kurt, Lauren, Puck, and myself. I didn't want to be her partner, but I really didn't want Puck to be her partner. Unfortunately, life never worked that way.

"Noah Puckerman," Quinn called happily, throwing Puck a flirtatious grin. Puck smiled softly, taking his seat next to her.

"Finn Hudson," Damn it. I was one slot away from doing this on my own. I wondered who I would rather be paired up with; my step-brother, or an obnoxious girl I barely knew. Hopefully Kurt. For once, my hopes were answered.

"Kurt Hummel," I said, reading his name off the strip of paper. I took the chair next to him.

"I'll do this on my own, " Lauren told Mr. Shue.

"Okay. Get to work guys, you'll present your songs by Friday," Mr. Shue went back to talking to Brad, and voices began erupting around the room.

"So… we should probably figure out what our biggest insecurity is first…" Kurt trailed of awkwardly. I just nodded.

"Well… I guess mine would be about being gay. It's hard, you know, facing society or whatever…" He was looking at me rather oddly. I just nodded again. These were the first words we had spoken to each other in weeks. The air between us was cold and tense.

"Damn it Finn, tell me what is wrong with you! We are supposed to be brothers, and you're being all silent and cold, and a few weeks ago you were acting like you used to freshman year. What the hell is going on?" I stayed silent for a few long moments after Kurt's outburst. I felt paralyzed with fear. Should I tell him? What would he say? If there was someone I trusted to understand, it was Kurt. But then again, I still didn't know much about this subject myself. Finally, I made my decision.

"Well… Kurt, I… um, I have…. Issues with my, er, insecurity. I um… well, Kurt, I like guys, but I'm not…. I'm not gay, I am… I am transgender. I feel like a woman Kurt. Please help me," I looked wildly at Kurt. His face morphed into a look of understanding, and he flung his arms around me.

"It's okay Finn… I get it. don't worry, I'm here for you… And I know the perfect song."