Thank you for all of the hits on this story! I'm totally blown away! I'm going to try and update 2-3 times a week, but it might be hard sometimes, because I'm an extremely busy bee! But I am dedicated to finishing this story, so keep up the support! It's been great motivation!
disclaimer: disclaimed bitches.
Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be...
-OneRepublic
Tony flopped down on the couch when he arrived home, and had a split second to be grateful that he'd gotten his window replaced before the storm when his pocket vibrated. With a sigh, he pulled his phone out, and his tired eyes glanced at the glowing screen before darting back quickly. He froze.
Incoming call:
Ziva David
He stared at the phone screen so long that he almost missed the call completely.
"Ziva?" his voice cracked. Is this for real?
"Hi, Tony." Even though her voice sounded tired, it didn't fail to send chills down his spine. Her sultry sound got him every time. "I saw that you called earlier. Is everything okay?"
"Huh?" He was too overwhelmed to think. Had she really been a phone call away all this time? "Oh, uh, no, no...everything's...everything's just peachy over here..."
"Why do I get the feeling you are lying?" he could almost see her smirking.
He sighed, and his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. "I miss you, Ziva."
"Tony..." she warned.
I get the message loud and clear, he thought bitterly. With another heavy sigh, he decided to change the subject. "Whatcha doin?"
"Lying in bed. It is past midnight here."
"Are..." Should I ask? "Are you still in Israel?"
It was her turn to sigh. "No, Tony. I am in Paris right now."
"Oh." was his reply. Images were flashing through his head at this point, of her, of them, of the glow of the Eiffel Tower outside their window as he held her, as she held him, images so finely intertwined that they played like a movie montage in his head. And Tony loved movies.
But sadly, movies weren't reality.
"Are you doing okay, Ziva? Are you...finding what you're looking for?"
A pregnant pause followed, and Tony held his breath. Then, "I am fine, Tony. And yes, things are starting to fall into the proper place. But, this is only the beginning." was her clipped response, but he could tell she was being honest.
"I'm happy for you." he replied, and he really was. If anyone deserved some inner peace it was her. A little smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
There was almost complete silence for a few moments, the only sounds coming over the other line was the faint noise of their breathing. In, out, in, out.
It was almost enough.
Almost.
"It is growing chillier outside every day here," she mused, "I am going to have to start layering soon."
Tony chuckled. I remember how much she hates the cold...
"Why is this house so cold? You would think NCIS could provide safe houses that also protected our warmth." she noted bitterly, and clutched her sweater tighter around her shivering frame.
"Probably because it's snowing outside, David." he remarked without looking up from the TV.
Ziva rolled her eyes. "Well, I grew up in a desert, Tony. There was no snow."
"You've been here for seven years!"
Ziva ignored his quip and flopped down on the couch next to him, instead choosing to discuss their current assignment. "Has Gibbs called with an update yet?"
This time, he faced her. "Yeah, he said to give it another night. He thinks Barber's gonna be out and about tonight, and wants us to stay here with Jones in case Barber gets any ideas about coming after him. Gibbs said we'd be fine though. McGee'll call if he sees anything on the cameras, but it's doubtful that anything's gonna happen. I guess that's his way of saying that we can get some sleep, since Jones is sacked out."
Ziva nodded in understanding. "If we do not freeze to death first."
Wordlessly, Tony stood and left the room, returning with the blanket from the bedroom. After situating himself in his same spot, Ziva scooted over to lean against him and let him drape the blanket over them.
He couldn't help but grin inwardly when she snuggled against him, her head against his arm, and within fifteen minutes she was warm and sleepy. She didn't fight it when he protectively curled his arm around her, and pulled her against his chest, finally settling them against the arm of the couch. The couch wasn't too wide, so his chest became her pillow and their legs tangled under the blanket. Neither said a word, because the moment felt too wonderful to be true. Indulgence felt good.
"G'night, Sweetcheeks," he whispered, and she smiled into his shirt.
"Sweet dreams." she murmured in response.
They were asleep in a matter of minutes. Gibbs found them in the exact same position the next morning, but didn't say a word.
"...Are you still there, Tony?"
"I miss you," he blurted. "I miss you and I can't stand not being with you, and I can't...I can't sleep..." he was breaking.
She was quiet and it scared him, and he found himself clutching his phone to his ear until his knuckles turned white. He could almost hear the wheels turning in her head, and he wanted to kick himself for being so blunt. But it was the truth. He missed her more than anything. Hell, he had already lost her to the other side of the world, what more did he have to lose?
"I miss you too, Tony." she answered finally, and Tony let out the breath he had been holding. "And I need to get some sleep...I am exhausted. And you should probably get some dinner."
No, no, NO! Don't go, don't hang up! I need you.
But instead, he found himself saying, "Okay. C-can I call you again?"
"Tony..."
"Never mind." he mumbled, playing the defensive. "I'll just let you do your thing. But Ziva?"
"Hmmm?"
"I don't want this to be our last conversation." He said hopefully.
"It will not be. I promise." she was serious again, but her next words were softer. "And Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"I hope you know how much I wish you were here."
"I could be."
"Tony...we talked about this. I thought you understood-"
"-I do. I really do. And I'm glad that things are starting to work out...I'm just...having a really hard time here, and..."
"It is hard for me too. But I have to do this...I have to become the best Ziva David I can be, the one I want to be, so that I can return to you whole, and leave the broken woman behind me. I cannot look over my shoulder for the rest of my life."
"I know. And I don't want you to. You deserve the world, Ziva, and I'll always be here, ya know. I can be whatever you need."
He couldn't see it, but tears had begun slipping down her cheeks.
"You are such a good man, Tony. Obnoxious at times..." she chuckled tearfully.
"...But that's why you love me." he teased, only realizing the weight of his words after they were out. Damn it.
She cleared her throat. "Only when you are not behaving like a five year old." He could almost see her walls throwing themselves back into position.
"Yeah, well..." he trailed off, and the inevitable silence came. He couldn't stand it. "I'll talk to you later then, I guess." he bit out awkwardly, cursing the words almost as soon as they had come out of his mouth. But it had to be done. "Thank you for calling me back."
"Keep yourself out of trouble for me, okay? And get some sleep. You sound like you haven't slept in days." If only she knew how right she was...
"I will, Ziva. Goodnight."
"Bye, Tony."
"Sweet dreams," He murmured, and he heard her giggle before hanging up. "I love you," he whispered.
But all he heard was the dial tone.
One step forward, two steps back. But that's how it had always been with them. And oh, how he wanted that to change...
Baby steps, baby steps.
Chapter 4 on Saturday!
-Laura
