Hope's Desire ch. 3


I've been flying on autopilot trying to get the gym revamped before the grant opening and throwing myself into, spending every awaking moment there ever since Raul's funeral. I knew that he would this to get finish because this place was baby that he built from the ground up and now it's my baby as I want to get it completed, making sure the repairs are done right, the painters are doing a good enough job, and the equipment is brand spanking new. I thought that going into MMA would cool and hired a few guys that I know would be interested in teaching it as I find myself sleeping in the office because I couldn't bring myself to leave this place and it makes me feel closer to the old man. I sit in the old rolling chair that he's so fond and never bothered to replace but I'm glad that he didn't when something catches my eyes, pushing myself out of the chair to see that it's on the wall.

I know that Raul keep the picture of him and his war buddies but the one next to it was something that I never noticed it as it's a picture of him and me in the ring, practicing after he decided to take me on and everyday, he pushed me to my limits and then some but I came stronger every time. Raul made me a stronger person and there's something that I wanted more is to make him proud wherever he is now plus being here for the grand opening. I didn't know that I was crying until I see the tears until I feel something touching my cheeks and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized that Rachel was standing in front of me along with Dani as I didn't hear them come in as I furiously wipe away the rest of the stray tears.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked frowning.

"We were worried about you, San. You've been so much time at the gym, only coming home to change and the only time that we see is when you show up for work before rushing off here" Rachel said worriedly.

"I'm fine but I have to get this place ready" I said making a move around them.

I was about to walk out of the door when a hand grabs my wrist, stopping me in my tracks before looking into another pair of equally concerned brown eyes but I know that this pairs is just stubborn. Dani pulls me back into the office, gently pushing me to sit back down before leaning against the desk with her arms folded over her chest, daring me to argue with her and honestly I don't have the time or the energy to be dealing with the both of them right now. I have to… no I gotta do something, keep moving or I'll start thinking about something that I would rather not think about right now as I attempt to push myself up right only to get pushed back into the chair by two hands on my shoulder.

"Santana, you need to rest" replies Dani.

"No I need you two to get off my case and let me get back to work" I said glaring at them.

"San, you've running yourself ragged, trying to get this ready. You've been staying here instead of coming home and I doubt that you've been eating properly as by the looks of things, you haven't been getting the proper amount of sleep conducive to running a business. We're worried that you're running yourself into the ground ever since…" Rachel trails off.

"Ever since what, Rachel? Go ahead say it" I said getting fed up with this conversion.

"Ever since Raul passed away. I don't think you allowed yourself to grieve over and I know that the two of you were rather close and I-"

"Rachel, just stop okay. You don't get to come in and tell me how to grieve" I said pushing myself onto my feet.

"I'm not trying to how grieve but to us, it seems like you're pushing everything so you won't have to feel anything, so you won't to think about losing a love you and I can't stand by watching to do this to yourself. I care too much about you" Rachel said staining my hand in hers with tears shining in her eyes. "Please San, let us be there for you. Lean on us if you need to but don't push us away"

"We love you, Santana and we're not going anywhere" Dani said taking my other hand.

I sigh because I know that I haven't either them answer and they haven't rushed me to make a decision, giving me space when I needed it and letting me figure stuff out with everything being so hectic lately. I hadn't to plan an entire funeral because the old man didn't have any living relatives to do this for him so it fell onto me and I think that he would've like with all of his students and people that came to the gym regularly and irregularly. They came out of love and respect for the old man and the Hobbit and guitarist was there, being supportive and I know that he would've liked them if I had ever brought them around or if I had liked Dani slightly back then. There's so many things that I never got to say to him, that I left unsaid and there's so many things that I wanted to learn from him but now he's gone and I don't know what to do.

I miss his twisted sense of humor, his bluntness, the way that he said what he thought no matter what other would feel about it but he knew that no one would say anything to him about it as I saw a lot of myself in Raul as I think it's a huge part of why we along so well. I feel so lost and confused as I found myself lately, wanting to go him and ask him for his advice but stop myself because I know that he isn't here anymore and I haven't actually dealt with his death yet, I've been… numb to all of it. I sat down on the black leather couch in the far off corner of the office that I've been sleeping on, running my hand through my hair when I feel the couch dip on both sides of me as Rachel and Dani lay their heads on my shoulders, taking my hands in theirs lacing our fingers together.

"What was he like?" Dani asked curious.

"If there was a older male version of me then Raul was definitely it" I said chuckling slightly.

"Oh goodness, I can barely handle one of you. I don't know if I could with the two of you" Rachel lightly jokes.

"I think that you would have liked him though. He was a hard worker and a even harder trainer but he knew skill and talent when he saw it. Raul brought the champion out of everyone he trained. I miss… I miss him" I said sighing.

"But his legacy lives through you, he trusted you the most to make sure that this place for others to come and train. I think that he knew that you'll treasure this place and made the right decision in leaving it with you" Dani said smiling.

"I guess but we'll see… I never did give you two answer"

"Don't worry about it right now, we can wait but we don't want you make a decision while you're grieving" Rachel said kissing me on the cheek.

"But I-"

"Santana, it's fine. You'll be when everything settles down" Dani said kissing me on the other cheek.

"Look, I made my decision before I found out Raul's death but I pushed it to the back of my mind with everything going but it wasn't fair to either of you. I do know that I want to try… I want the both of you, that is if you're still interested"

Rachel and Dani looked at each other for a split second then Dani takes my face in her hands, pulling me into searing kiss before I was pulled into the other direction into another kiss, leaving breathless.

"We're very much interested, Santana" Rachel said grinning.

"Good" I said smiling.

"Yo boss lady, boys' bathroom's flooded again" One of the boys said from the doorway.

"Dammit and I just fixed the damn thing" I groaned. "Sersiouly what are you guys eating at home!"


~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off

The End