Chapter 3 – Departure
The shuttle flight back from the Morana was deathly quiet compared to the constant buzz of conversation aboard the liveship; a few quarians spoke quietly amongst themselves out of respect for the more taxed passengers but for the most part, people were keeping to themselves. Tali was seated next to Naria, with Bardi directly opposite. She'd hardly spoken a word since they'd disembarked though her two friends both understood why, each remembering their own unpleasant experiences of saying farewell to relatives and friends at their Va'Seras. Saying goodbye to her father had been bad enough, but boarding the shuttle knowing she'd not be seeing her beloved aunt again for what could easily be years had nearly broken Tali's heart in two. Out of respect for herself, her father and who she was, Tali had managed to keep the tears in check, relying on strength of will alone to stop herself from breaking down in the shuttle's crowded cabin.
Naria, though flushed with her recent success with Ray'jar, the navigational officer, had been just as quiet, accepting her roommate's sudden despondency without complaint. She currently sat with her head back, resting against the cool metal of the bulkhead whilst her left shoulder provided a comforting 'cushion' for Tali's helmet. Tali drew strength from the simple gesture, half-wishing Bardi would rise from his seat, cross over to her and console her as he would when she was a small child. But at the same time, she appreciated that Bardi respected her as an adult now; the old engineer would always be within reach, but he wouldn't go anywhere he wasn't invited either.
By the end of the 20 minute flight, most of which was spent requesting clearance, Tali couldn't wait to be back in the relative privacy of her shared cabin. As the two roommates neared their quarters, Naria tactfully declared she needed something to eat and headed off to the cafeteria, knowing full well it was closed. Tali watched her go, a grateful if subdued smile hidden underneath her faceplate. Entering the small room, it was all she could do to climb onto her bunk and lie down before submitting to a quiet flurry of tears. By the time the elder quarian returned, Tali had cried herself to sleep.
Tali awoke the next morning in a somber mood which only darkened when she realized how her helmet's visor had become streaked with the remnants of her salty tears from the night before. Scowling, she clambered out of the bed as quietly as possible so as not to wake Naria who slumbered, accompanied by gentle snores, in the bunk below. Tali glanced at the chronometer; 07:18, normally she'd be due in engineering in almost ten minutes but with her transport ship scheduled to take her on her Pilgrimage at 10:00 she was released from duty and had the morning free. It was a strange feeling; quarians, especially engineers, rarely had time to their selves and Tali was at a loss for what to do. A shower, she decided finally. It'd be her last chance for a proper one.
The shower block was located on the lower decks of the Rayya, a surprisingly small section of the ship considering the number of crew aboard. However, quarian's only used the services once every month or so, normally relying on their in-suit body cleansing systems to keep them clean. Although this system, working using a form of basic inbuilt shower system which using purified water from an external source, was efficient, the overall result wasn't what one would call refreshing.
The showers were comprised of a section of cubicles, each sealed off individually from the rest of the block and whilst shared between quarians, the cubicles were cleansed and sanitized after each use, preserving a sterile environment and preventing any risk of infection for the next occupant. As one of the few times a quarian was out of their environmental suit, the cubicle also housed a suit cleaning system that ran alongside the shower, purging the outfit and stripping it of bacteria before heating the freshly washed garments so that they were dry and ready for the wearer once more.
Tali'Zorah, like many of her fellows, wasn't too fond of the system. Someone had once likened it to 'stripping inside an airlock' and the term had stuck; the phrase 'taking an airlock' had now become synonymous with showering. Still, she had to admit it felt good to be out of the suit for a little while, regardless of the environment. Actually being able to feel things, the near-scalding water against her skin, the smooth surface of the cubicle wall under her fingers, the tiny trickle of a breeze from the suit dryer as it ruffled her hair…to someone whose life revolved around being imprisoned in a an isolated shell, a hostage to their environment, the sudden ability to feel was ecstasy.
The young quarian delayed as long as she could before getting back into her suit, trying to shake off the sense that she was becoming a captive once more. At least her purple-tinted visor was now free of smears. Tali shook her head at the memory, surprised she'd succumbed to crying; she hadn't wept in years, not since she was a little girl. Annoyed by how constrictive her suit now felt after the shower, Tali closed her eyes and tried to recall how it was to feel outside of her prison; unfortunately this only resulted in a wave of despair as she realized that would probably be the last time she'd be out of her suit until she returned to the fleet. Sighing, she made her way to the mess hall.
To her surprise Grulan was there, working his shift along with two eager assistants who appeared to be getting under the old man's feet. "Keelah, can you not stay still for more than ten seconds and just let something cook? Cooking takes time Hiri'Bala, it is an art, and you can't rush art." The shorter of the two assistants, Hiri'Bala, let his head hang in a sign of submission. Grulan ignored him and kept muttering, stirring a simmering concoction as he spoke. "You whippersnappers might think you know everything, but you'd do well to take the advice of an old man who's seen a lot more snagg'la's boiled than you."
"What exactly is a snagg'la Grulan?" Tali asked, arms propped on the counter as though she'd been there for hours.
The old chef whipped around so fast he almost sent the contents of the pot spewing across the floor. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya! What brings you to my humble kitchens?"
"Breakfast," she chuckled, plucking a synth tube from the rows of stands that lay across the countertop, "but the definition of a snagg'la would be nice too."
Grulan's eyes lit up behind his olive faceplate at the prospect of a discussion on his favourite subject. "Sometimes I wish you'd been assigned to catering young Tali," he said wistfully, "if only my assistants bothered to ask the questions you do. Anyway, since you asked a snagg'la is a tree root, grown only from the descendants of the great Boshor trees on Rannoch. We don't have many of them left on the Liveships today, they tend to grow too large for us to handle; we have to harvest them young and replanting them is a delicate process."
Pausing to inspect a slab of mushy looking grey substance as it slowly cooked alongside dozens of similar slabs, Grulan continued. "Now, because they're so difficult to grow we don't get to put Snagg'la into the synth tubes too often. In fact, it's normally only used on special occasions and even then, they have to be really good special occasions."
Tali smiled, feeling her mood lift at the cook's enthusiasm. "So when are you going to let young Hiri prepare some?"
Grulan recoiled visibly, horrified by the notion. "Keelah preserve us! Not for a good many years yet if I have anything to say about it. His hands are far too twitchy for such a delicate job." He fixed the eager youth with a stare who promptly went back to work disappointed, his hopes both raised and dashed in a matter of seconds.
Tali chuckled to herself, preparing to leave and join the hundreds of other quarians at the various tables around the hall when she suddenly felt Grulan catch her arm. "Here little one, a gift for your Pilgrimage." said the old man quietly.
Tali turned, finding a thick tube being pressed into her hands. She examined it and after spotting the label on the side, immediately tried to hand it back. "No, no way Grulan. I can't take this."
"Of course you can," the cook argued, "I made it for you specially."
"After what you just told me you can't expect me to walk out of here with a synth tube full of Snagg'la!" Tali hissed quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear.
Grulan shook his head firmly. "It's my gift to you, for you Pilgrimage. I didn't get you anything last night, I couldn't prepare the Snagg'la in time, so you'll just have to take it today instead. Tradition demands you accept it little Tali."
"But Grulan, if this stuff is that rare…"
The cook smiled, taking a step back and leaving the tube innocently on the countertop. "Don't fret child, I've made sure it won't go missing." Turning around with a shrug that almost looked apologetic, Grulan returned to his cooking preparations, back to the young girl as though he didn't care if she left it there or not. "Let it remind you of us Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, when you get to feeling homesick."
Tali wrestled with the decision for a moment, not wanting to land him in trouble, but eventually gave in and scooped the tube into one of her suit's many disguised pockets.
"Thank you Grulan." She whispered softly as she walked away, heading for one of the quieter tables.
The chef didn't respond, seemingly in his own world, humming a cheery ditty as he stirred.
Later that morning, with just over half an hour left before her ship was due to leave, Tali returned to her cabin to collect her things, hoping to find Naria awake this time but whilst her roommate was no longer sleeping, she was also no longer in the room at all. Disappointed, Tali set about gathering up everything she'd prepared to take with her, drawing out the simple task as long possible in the hope that Naria would return. She didn't and Tali knew with only ten minutes to get to her ship, she didn't have time to wait any longer. The disheartened quarian briefly contemplated leaving a note but decided against it. Last night was the goodbye, she told herself, we don't need another one. All the same, she made a point of stopping by Naria's station on the way to the docking bay though the effort proved fruitless. Trying not to wonder what her friend could have deemed more important than saying goodbye to her, the young pilgrim re-adjusted the supply pack she was carrying and kept walking.
Tali's transport, a modified Yerat Systems VX-761 private cargo freighter christened 'Tarmeena', thrummed quietly in the Rayya's landing bay. Normally Tali found the subtle noise of a ship's engines comforting but knowing these particular engines belonged to a ship that waited to whisk her away from family and friends made the sound seem ominous. The Tarmeena itself was an ugly, bulky thing, it's depressingly dark hull broken up by seemingly random squat, hollowed out "blocks", added to maximize cargo space. She looked like she could have been designed by a krogan she was so hideous, despite the Turian manufacturer's cracked and faded logo that was emblazoned on the side of the hold. The outdated freighter had been acquired by the Migrant Fleet almost two decades previously and it had been old even then. Still, the quarians had never been ones to waste resources and they had quickly set to work modifying the ship, stripping the Tarmeena of unneeded or unnecessary parts and making room for up to eight individuals in the hold, in addition to a single pilot and a small cargo load. Put to use primarily as a ship-to-ship shuttle within the fleet, ferrying both passengers and supplies between vessels, the Tarmeena had also been used from time to time on short range cargo runs to supply depots in nearby systems.
Tali, like the others who were to share the Tarmeena with her, had been surprised to find such a poor quality ship waiting to deliver them to their Pilgrimage destination; at least until they learnt that the ship usually assigned to such important duties was currently down for repairs aboard the Zrazel. As the only other ship available aboard the Rayya, Tarmeena had been assigned the task instead. Tali just hoped the ancient freighter would hold together long enough to drop them off at Decrius, a fledgling Human colony world in the Narcissus system where she and the rest of the Rayya's pilgrims were destined to begin their journeys.
The docking bay was scarce, Tarmeena being the only ship showing any signs of life. She was surrounded by a motley collection of short range ferry shuttles, two battered Poleaxe fighters and a standard 'Tug'. The usual number of maintenance crew were scattered around, performing simple repairs, refueling the ships and generally making sure everything was in working order, no easy task. Six other quarian adolescents stood waiting at the base of the Tarmeena's boarding ramp, accompanied by a few friends and for the lucky ones, family. Tali felt her spirits lift as she caught sight of a familiar faded green environment suit standing on the outskirts of the group.
Bardi approached her as she neared the ship, meeting her halfway and granting them some space from the rest of the group. "Mornin' young'un," he said cheerfully, as though nothing was amiss, "you all set for the big wide galaxy?"
"Pretty much." Tali replied soberly, gesturing to the supply pack and new weapons that hung on her suit.
Bardi nodded approvingly. "Good. We tried ta make sure the galaxy's ready for you, but between you and me, I don't think it's gonna know what hit it."
"I'm not so sure," she responded doubtfully.
"Trust me kiddo, I feel it in my gut," Bardi reassured her, slapping his stomach for emphasis, "and when ya get to my age, rations or no you start developing a big enough one ta tell."
Tali finally laughed despite her mood. "You're not that bad chief."
"Now yer just flatterin' me." The engineer remarked grumpily.
Unable to think of a response, Tali let the conversation lapse into a comfortable silence between the two workmates.
"I wish Naria had been here." She confided eventually, staring at the Tarmena's depressive hull.
Bardi, looking over her shoulder toward the landing bay doors, nodded in their direction. "Keelah must like you young'un, I never get my wishes answered so quickly."
Turning around, Tali nearly jumped for joy when she caught sight of a sky blue environmental suit running toward her. "She didn't leave me after all."
Abruptly, in an act reminiscent of the previous night, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Well young'un, I think this is it for us eh?"
Tali turned and saw what he meant; the other pilgrims were starting to board the Tarmeena behind him.
In a rare display of emotion, Bardi spread his arms out, an invitation for an embrace that Tali readily accepted.
"I'm going to miss you, Bardi'Reska vas Rayya." Tali said softly, her head resting over his shoulder. Bardi normally hated his full name but right then, she didn't care. To her surprise, she heard something akin to a sob from her old mentor. Breaking free of the hug, Tali looked him over; he appeared composed enough visually but his voice suddenly sounded raw when he spoke.
"I'll miss you too Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," he replied, appearing to regain control of his voice again, "and that better be the last time I get ta call ya that."
Tali was about to respond when she was suddenly tackled from behind. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya! How dare you even think of leaving without saying goodbye!"
Tali laughed, spinning about to embrace her friend and letting her enthusiasm wash over her. "It was you who decided to disappear on me when I got back!"
Naria huffed. "I was looking for you! I couldn't find you anywhere, you weren't in engineering, …I even tried the markets thinking you might be looking for last minute stuff for your Pilgrimage." She paused for breath. "When I finally went back to our room I saw your stuff was missing and didn't stop running 'til I got here." She gestured to the Tarmeena. "Barely made it too."
"I'm sorry," Tali apologized, "but at least you caught me right?"
"It better be worth it," Naria responded, feigning hurt, "you'd better come back with a whole new wardrobe for me after making me worry so much."
"Better than that," Tali giggled, "I'll bring back a mirror."
"G'on kiddo," Barid said finally, indicating the waiting freighter, "goodbyes are never easy, best to get 'em over with right quick."
Tali nodded, not daring to respond further, and scampered up the Tarmeena's ramp. The pilot had already returned to the cockpit and Tali felt a slight tremor through the hull of the vessel as the ship's flight systems received a burst of power.
Standing in the still open cargo bay door Tali raised her hand in farewell, watching two of her most trusted friends mimick the gesture in response. A few seconds later, the bay door abruptly began to close, shutting off Tali's view of the landing bay.
Slowly lowering her arm, Tali tried to burn the mental image of the pair waving farewell into her mind as she looked for a seat, instinct telling her the memory would be a welcome one whenever she was feeling homesick.
The Tarmeena shook momentarily as she lifted free of the deck of the Rayya before the anti-gravity stabilizers kicked in and gently held the ship steady. Tali stared at the walls of the hollow cargo bay, refusing to permit any further thoughts of despair to take hold. I am the daughter of an Admiral and soon, an adult. No more tears, I shed enough of those last night. Images of those she knew flickered through her mind. Bardi, her father, auntie Raan, Grulan and Naria. They all trust me, they all believe in me and they're all counting on me to come back and make them proud. She took one final glance at the door, imagining she could still see the figures of the people she loved so much as they stood inside the docking bay, watching the Tarmeena fade as she exited the Rayya's docking bay. I will make you proud. Tali'Zorah swore to herself. By the spirits of my ancestors, I will make you all proud.
There was a flicker around the ship as it left the dock, slipping smoothly through the blue energy field of the Rayya's atmospheric shielding and entering the vast openness of space. Tali felt the hard metal of the seat press into her back as the pilot, a young Flying Officer named Sarel'Geta, slowly banked the freighter left, plotting a course to meet up with the various other transports carrying the rest of the Fleet's pilgrims. A single cruiser served both as a rally point and their escort, the sleek military vessel hovering patiently a few dozen klicks from the fleet.
The quarian seated next to Tali, a tall male in a dark red environment suit gently tapped her on the forearm. "Pilot says tune to frequency 124/Gamma if we want to hear him."
Tali nodded, quickly calibrating the Omni-Tool she had received from Bardi to do so. "Thanks."
The Flying Officer's voice cut into her ear mid-sentence. "-out, shouldn't take more than a few minutes to get there. Once we do, we'll enter formation around the Norath and head for the mass relay to Omega; travel to the Narcissus system shouldn't take more than a few days from there."
The young engineer felt a twinge of nervousness at the mention of Omega; the asteroid mining facility turned criminal underworld had a dangerous reputation, the few quarians she knew who'd spent part of their Pilgrimage there had always talked about how much they couldn't wait to leave. Some never had. Still, at least the station wasn't their final destination and while Omega's space might be infested with roving pirates ships, few would be mad enough to think about attacking a convoy flying with cruiser escort. The Tarmeena flew smoothly for a time, taking a direct path to the rendezvous point and giving Tali time to assess her fellow passengers.
The converted cargo bay had seating for just eight passengers, giving the seven pilgrims little space between each other. A young female in a white environment suit, trimmed with a soft red, sat alone in a corner; despite her best efforts, her body language bespoke the grief she tried so desperately to hide. The next pilgrim was seated next to her, a heavily built male who sat in silence, his relaxed posture exuding an air of calm acceptance. A shorter, far less imposing quarian was seated parallel to him, a direct opposite to his serene peer in every way. Wearing a simple grey suit, Tali could tell it was taking him great effort to remain still, from the ever so slight twitches of his helmet at a fresh noise to the way his fingers constantly intertwined, broke apart and then clenched together again.
Perhaps most conspicuous of all were the young couple who sat together next to the cargo door, directly opposite Tali. They looked barely old enough to be on their Pilgrimage but the two obviously cared for each other a great deal. The boy sat with his arm comfortingly around the girl, who in turn rested the soft folds of her lilac veil on his dark brown chest plate; their hands were intertwined, elongated fingers wrapped around thin palms. Tali felt a slight pang of jealousy and promptly chided herself; she'd never had any interest in such things, though she'd been given ample opportunity. Now that she thought about it, their youth might land them both in trouble anyway. Being sent to the same destination together, far from the eyes of any watchful elders could easily lead to the pair getting carried away, regardless of the quarian laws on promiscuity.
Hoping the two would have a greater respect for both their upbringing and their people, Tali snuck a glance at the tall male seated beside her, disguising the appraisal by shifting in her seat. He was certainly bigger than most quarians she'd seen; it was difficult to guess with him seated, but Tali estimated him an easy 6' 1", a good five inches higher than her own 5' 9". He was well built too, the constricting environmental suit highlighting his broad, muscular frame.
Suddenly the Tarmeena swung another turn, the pilot's voice sounding through her earpiece again and matching the maneuver seamlessly. "Alright folks, as you may have guessed we've just entered formation with the Norath, just a few minutes until the rest of the transports get here and then it's on to the relay." His voice, up until now light and almost carefree, took on a quieter conspirational tone. "Now, I'm not supposed to do this, but once we jump we'll leave signal range with the fleet. If anyone happened to quietly head up to the cockpit and perhaps, while I'm busy with my instruments, boost their Omni-Tool's range using the ship's comm so they could talk to someone back on the fleet before the jump…well, I'm so busy making sure this autopilot does its job I doubt I'd even notice."
Tali thought about the offer for a minute, then remembering what Bardi had said back in the Rayya's docking bay, decided against it. To her surprise, none of the other passengers seemed interested either, only the young female who'd tried so much to hide her tears made as if to go, and even she promptly sat back down again when she appeared to think better of it."Good thing he's the ranking officer," the quarian next to Tali confided quietly, "if any of the brass caught him offering that they could bust him down to private." Tali nodded wordlessly, thinking how terrible that must be. Piloting a ship was a great privilege in the quarian fleet and their Flying Officer sounded young, young enough that this had to be his first commission. If his actions on his first vessel were called into question, chances are his career as a pilot would be over for good. She wondered if he'd simply been ignorant when making such an offer, or if it was motivated by pure kindness; if it was the latter, she would be grateful for his risk.
Another few minutes went by whilst Tarmeena held position, the comm in her ear silent. Tali hated waiting like this and it was evident the rest of the passengers felt the same. The most visibly agitated male finally hopped out of his seat and began pacing the small length of the hold, muttering into his silver visor under his breath; before long a soft lurch forward as the pilot gave power to the thrusters nearly caught him off balance.
"Everybody must be in formation now." Tali mused.
"Yes," her companion responded casually, settling back in his seat, "won't be long now."
A few minutes later, Sarel'Geta's voice bursting through her comms once more confirmed his guess. "Alright folks we're all in position now." Said the pilot, a barely disguised glee dominating his tone. "Better sit down and strap in 'cause we're about to initiate the jump to Omega!"
Author Notes
In case anyone was wondering, solving the logistical questions relating to quarians, showers and the dangers of stripping out of a germ-laden suit are confuzzlingly hard. Also, hitting writer's block is not fun; imma go see the C-Sec officer on the Citadel and requisition a Spectre-class sledgehammer from him in case it shows up again.
It took me a while to decide if I wanted Tali to encounter Bardi again before leaving, but it seemed to fit the characters. It was a difficult scene to write; hopefully I haven't gone overboard with these lengthy goodbyes. Anyway, next chapter things will pick up a bit in terms of action which I've no doubt you'll all be delighted to hear.
