"You want to...what now?" Julian looked up shocked.
"We want to become parabatai." Ty repeated simply. The two teenagers we sitting on stools across the kitchen from Julian waiting for his response. He wasn't expecting this, he knew that Kit and Ty were close, inseparable really, something he had been grateful for these last few months. He knew his brother had felt guilty for not becoming Livvy's parabatai like she wanted before she died. He expected that his brother would feel like it would be a betrayal to his sister to make that commitment with someone else. But here he was sitting across from him, his mouth set in a hard line of determination, waiting for his….what blessing? Julian looked at the two sitting in front of him, his brother waiting expectantly, and Kit looking down at the counter not meeting his eyes. They really didn't look like two people who wanted to become parabatai to Julian. Then he realized it, his eyes widening half a fraction.
"No." He said, they both looked up at him, taken aback.
"What? Why not?" Ty asked incredulously. Julian sighed closing his eyes and rubbing the space between his brow. He suddenly felt much older then he was. Did he really need to explain this to them? He knew he and Emma made the same mistake, but they were twelve, and they were sixteen. Maybe he was wrong about them, reading to much into it, he never expected Ty to be romantically interested anyone. Ty was different, maybe their friendship was just different as a result.
"Why do you want to be Parabatai? He asked them. Only Ty responded, Kit looked up at his friend, he looked sick to his stomach. He definitely wasn't wrong, Julian thought to himself.
"When..when Livvy got hurt at the shadow market, back then I could have helped if I was her parabatai, Magnus even said so, I don't want to make that same mistake again with Kit. He stated, upset he had to explain what should be obvious.
"So this is about Livvy." Julian sighed. There was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air like a weight before he continued.
" You can't become parabatai just because you're afraid Ty." He started again before Ty could argue back.
" You know the law...It's forever, you can't take it back." He looked at Kit now meeting his eyes trying to convey what he meant, he was pretty sure he understood.
"You can't make that decision for us, you know." Ty reminded him. He knew he was right but he also knew that his brother wouldn't go behind his back, or at least he hoped not.
"You asked and I said no." Julian said in his most parent voice, ending the conversation.
" Just think about this." Julian added more softly as he made to leave the room. "I'm going to check on Tavvy. Dru has been babysitting all day."
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Julian was halfway across the institute almost to Dru's bedroom when Ty caught up with him.
"Jules."
Julian turned around to face his brother, Ty had his hands in his hoodie fidgeting with something.
"Why are you against this? I want to do this." There was just a hint of desperation in Ty's voice, It broke Julian's heart. How could he not know what was going on? How did he not notice? He felt a wave of guilt sweep through him. This was his fault, losing Livvy took everything out of him, he could hardly take care of the kids after she died. And he knew, he knew he was neglecting Tiberius who needed him most. He left it all to Kit, and this was the result.
Julian took a step towards his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to think of what to say to convince him without alarming him.
"I know what Kit means to you, but he's not Livvy, you can't change what happened by pretending that it's the same." He tried to sound comforting but Ty recoiled at the implication of him trying to replace his sister.
"I know he's not Livvy." He snapped back. " I don't want him to be." he added more quietly. Julian sighed, he might not know what Kit's feelings were but his brothers were pretty clear he thought to himself. Maybe he should have separated them, send Kit to the academy, something to keep Ty from getting hurt. No he couldn't do that to him, Ty would know what he did, and he would lose him forever. Thinking quickly Julian tried a different approach.
" Do you think you could do that? Carry someone else's emotions with you all the time?" Ty looked up at him.
" The bond is more than just stronger runes, Ty, you can feel what the other person feels, when they're in pain, when their scared, or angry. It's not always easy even for me sometimes. You would be feeling what he was feeling all the time and he would be feeling your emotions. Do you think you could still be there for him when he needed you?" Julian didn't say this unkindly, he knew his brother had more difficulty than others getting a handle on his emotions. It wasn't his fault he felt so strongly.
"Oh." Was all Ty said realizing his brother was right. His hands clenched and unclenched at his side, his eyes darted back and forth processing the information and the impossibility of what it meant.
"Yes, you can draw stronger runes on another with the bond, and it definitely has its advantages, but its not a guarantee. People still die, parabatai still die, and it's much worse to lose someone you have the bond with." Ty nodded numbly, in agreement, but in truth he couldn't imagine anything worse than losing Kit.
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Later that night Julian flopped himself on the bed next to Emma, his hand over his face. Emma had began sleeping in his room again, they were never intimate like they were that night in Cornwall. He just needed the comfort of her being next to him. It was strange, Livvy's death laid between them, keeping them apart and bringing them back to the normalcy they used to have, at least for now. Julian was just too tired to fight with Emma, to tired to think about the curse, to depressed to be passionate, and too scared for his other siblings to risk what could happen. For now it would do just having her lay beside him at night.
"Whats up?" She asked him curiously.
"Ty and Kit want to be parabatai."
"Oh no…" She said, making him look up at her.
" Wait you knew about them? Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded. She had known, or at least she thought she did. Ty's keen interest in Kit since he came to the institute, the way Kit stared at him when he wasn't looking.
" It's just that...it's Ty, I could have been wrong." She waved her hands defensively.
" You're not." He said sounding tired. " Do you think Kit feels the same way?" He asked letting his head fall back against the pillow.
"Yes." She said confidently, he turned to face her his eyebrows arched in a question.
" Oh, he definitely has it bad for your brother. I don't know how you missed that." She teased. Julian let out a groan.
" What am I going to do Emma? What if they start dating?" He was practically panicking now. "Maybe I should talk with them."
"Why? Have Mark do it." She said like it was obvious.
"Why Mark?" Julian was confused, he was propped up on his elbows now.
"Well, if they start having s-"
"EMMA!" He choked cutting her off bolting straight up. " I wasn't even thinking about that! I was talking about if they broke up!" Emma was trying not to laugh, the look of unadulterated horror on his face was too much for her.
"There's nothing you can really do about that. We just have to see what happens, and if it does deal with it then." She shrugged. "It's not like you can separate them just because of what might happen." She eyed him suspiciously, he remained silent staring at the ceiling.
"Jules." He stiffened, she regretted calling him his nickname immediately, but he didn't look at her.
"Of course not." Was all he said.
He closed his eyes tightly, he had no idea what he was going to do when Dru started dating. .
