Healing Confinement Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I hate to say it but sadly I still do not own Digimon if I did I'd be taking a vacation on the beach somewhere in the digital world.

Warning: In case you missed it in the summary and the other chapters this deals with self injury and might be triggering. If you are easily triggered you might want to click that "x" at the top right corner of the screen. You have been warned so read at your own risk.

Almost a week had passed since I had opened up to Dr. Gail and I still felt like beating myself up for talking to her but yet I felt a little better knowing that she didn't see me as some kind of freak like I was sure everyone at home viewed me as and because of that I had taken to calling her as Dr. Gail than just calling her my shrink when I thought about her. I didn't really want to talk to her again or go to group where I'd have to talk about how I feel in front of strangers. I knew Dr. Gail wasn't going to give me a choice in the matter especially after I told her I would go. I had made up my mind yesterday but I was still not completely sure I wanted to go.

I only had till after lunch to mentally prepare myself for being around other people. I know if I ever wanted to get out of here and see Tai again I had to talk. Being around people made me nervous. Okay so maybe nervous wasn't really a strong enough word to describe the feeling it was more like intense anxiety. I felt like they were constantly judging me and that I was never up to their standards. I tried to pretend that I didn't care what they thought but everything they said or didn't say got to me and that's why I hated sitting here eating lunch being surrounded by people and why I wasn't looking forward to group.

I was sitting at the table alone once again eating quickly in silence. I kept my eyes on my food and didn't dare to look up. I was afraid that if I looked up I'd find everyone staring pointing and whispering about me even though I knew the idea was kind of stupid. No one knew me here and they all had their own problems to deal with so why should they even pay any attention to me?

"Excuse me do you mind if I sit here?" A small voice said interrupting me from my thoughts. I looked up to see a girl with dark hair that looked to be about my age. She looked tired and fragile kind of like a sick porcelain doll that was much too skinny. She pointed to a chair a few chairs down from mine on the opposite side of the table. I nodded my head and she sat down. She was the first patient to say anything to me since I've arrived here. I don't know why I said yes maybe out of politeness but she didn't say another word to me and sat there playing with her food for a long while before taking a small bite then while she chewed the food she twirled her fork around in her fingers quite a few times then took another bite and twirled her fork some more. It was like a ritual of sorts and from the look of concentration on her face as she watched her fork intensely it was a very important ritual to her. Not wanting to intrude on something that seemed so private I stopped watching her and went back to staring at my own plate.

"Minako lunch is almost over and you barely cleared a quarter of you plate. If you keep this up you'll end up on a feeding tube again and you don't want that do you?" I looked up to see one of the nurses talking to the dark haired girl.

"Of course I don't want that but you can't expect me to magically be able to eat a whole plate of food this soon and do I really have to eat the chicken? I told the doctors when I came here that I was a vegetarian." Minako's voice was soft and pleading. The poor girl looked like she was close to tears.

"I'm sorry but you have to eat it you body needs the protein. If you have a problem with it you can take it up with your doctor at your next weigh in. I'm sorry but I can't bend the rules." The nurse said then continued to walk her rounds through the rest of the cafeteria. Minako sat there for a while and stared at her plate then poked the chicken a few times with her fork. It was easy to tell that she was holding back tears. I went back to my own plate and finished eating the last few bites then stood up and took my dishes and put them on a belt that took them back to the kitchen to be washed. After the nurse that was to escort me to group arrived, I took one last look at Minako, who had taken up her ritual of spinning her fork between bites once more, before I followed the nurse in to the hallway.

She led me to a big room that looked similar to a living room. It had two big couches and a few comfy looking chairs. Dr. Gail was already sitting in one of the chairs and it looked as if I was the first patient to arrive. I didn't really want to be the first one but then I didn't want to be the last one either but I guess I'd rather be first than last. When you're the last one in a room people tend to stare at you the most it seems.

"We still have a few minutes until lunch is fully over and everyone else gets here. So how are you Yamato?" Dr. Gail asked.

"I'm fine" I answered not really feeling up to talking mostly because of nerves. So we sat like that in silence for a little while until people started to come in.