CHAPTER THREE – The Week When Everything Changed
Kenny learned four days ago what Stan and Kyle had done for him moments after he awoke in his bed, alive again, inside his new body. Satan showed him what had happened during the almost two days he had been dead this time the way he always did: By showing him someone's forgotten memories of it. This time it was Kyle's that Kenny got to browse through to learn what he had missed while he was gone.
The worst part of all this for Kenny wasn't the dying itself, because he had learned that, no matter how much it hurt, it would be over soon. Getting a day or two's worth of someone's memories, not only of the events themselves, but of the horror and sorrow that resulted from them, was much worse.
He hated getting Kyle's memories most of all. He always took it harder than anyone else, and was a complete wreck until Kenny returned and they all forgot again that he had died. Kenny was always relieved to see him looking his usual cheerful self, but he could never show it. Stan wasn't much better, usually falling apart almost as badly as Kyle, but managing to hold it together a little better, seemingly for Kyle's sake. The only good part of any of this was seeing how Stan and Kyle took care of each other while they were grieving. Kenny preferred getting Cartman's memories, because while he mourned as much as Stan and Kyle, he usually did it away from his friends, usually alone in his room, in his bed crying into either his pillow or Clyde Frog. This made it easier for Kenny, somehow.
More rarely he was shown the memories of someone else: Clyde occasionally, Token and Wendy a few times, and even Mr. Garrison once. That one had been especially creepy. Satan never showed him Butters' memories of the times Kenny died, and he often wondered why.
This time something very different had happened. It seemed that Satan intended to keep him in hell forever and not send him back, and Kenny carefully studied the memory of the Frog Prince appearing in Kyle and Stan's dreams simultaneously, and what it had led them to do in order to bring him back. He wondered if Satan and/or the Cthulhu cult nutjobs were finally tiring of this, and wondered with some dread what was going to happen the next time he died. He consoled himself by thinking it might actually be a relief that this endless cycle of dying and being reborn was finally coming to an end. He thought about how much he would miss his friends if he died and never came back; the idea that he might get to stay alive until he died of a heart attack or stroke when he was 80 seemed too much to hope for.
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his feet on the floor, waiting for the rest of his strength to return so he could stand up, when something happened that had never happened before. Satan whispered into his ear: "Oh, you're going to die and come back again, Kenny. You can believe that."
Kenny whirled around, expecting to see the red seven-foot tall doofus standing directly behind him. Nothing was there, but the faint but unmistakable whiff of sulfur stinging his nostrils told him it hadn't been his imagination. More uncertain than ever now, Kenny stood up and put on his parka.
When he approached Stan and Kyle at the bus stop an hour later, he could see them whispering together. He deliberately walked toward them as slowly as possible, giving them more time alone. He knew they had just discovered their longtime love for each other last night, and was as happy for them as anyone could possibly be. He wondered how long it would be before they told him themselves. He wanted to kneel on the ground and thank them for what they had done to bring him back (before giving them a load of shit about how it was about time they started playing with each other's dicks), but of course all he could do was say, "Hey, guys!" Kenny was pretty sure he would have been able to tell they were together now, just by the way they were standing, beside each other instead of just simply next to each other.
They managed to keep their secret until Wednesday afternoon after school, when they were driving to the 24-hour Bennigan's next to the mall for dinner. They'd been eating there a lot, ever since Bebe had gotten a job there as a waitress. Kenny was in the back seat, Stan was driving his car with Kyle riding shotgun. After they had pulled into a parking spot outside the restaurant, Stan and Kyle had both looked back at him. "Kenny," Kyle had said, "Stan and I have something to tell you."
"Oh, you mean that you two are finally fucking each other's brains loose?" Kenny asked, and laughed at their startled expressions; "And by that I mean," and Kenny smiled happily, "that if you two are finally together the way the universe always knew you should be, then congratulations. Geez guys, it took you long enough!"
Stan and Kyle looked happy, but surprised. "You mean…" Stan asked, looking like he was about to drop his keys. "You could tell already?"
"Guys" Kenny said, nodding happily. "This has been coming for a long time now. The two of you have had crushes on each other for, what, ten years now?" Kenny was happy to let them believe he had some kind of remarkable intuition into their lives, when what he really had was a lifetime of both of their memories. He had known for years how much they loved each other and why it had seemed important to both of them to keep that secret because of their fear of how it could destroy everything they did have. Kenny had long wanted to…interfere somehow to bring them together, and knew it was one of the things he was not allowed to do.
"So anyway," Kenny went on. Their faces were getting over their amazement. "It's all good, in fact it's all great. Now…let's go eat. I'm fucking starving."
Two nights later while walking home from Clyde's house, something else happened that started to completely rearrange his life, beginning when he heard what might be a wounded animal in the bushes outside of Butters' house. About the time that Kenny was carrying Butters through his bedroom door, he began to think of the past few days as the week when everything changed.
