Chapter 3
Confusion
Hermione walked slowly back down the stairs, troubled by her talk with Ginny. The younger girl had been speaking a little too quickly for things to be okay. Hermione knew Ginny wouldn't hide things from her without good reason, but she worried all the same. The look on Ginny's face as she'd walked up the stairs to the dormitory was enough to freeze oil, for goodness sake.
Hermione sighed. If only she had the answers Ginny was looking for. Even though her friend had never asked her directly, Hermione knew what was happening to their relationship. It was being tangled in the feelings they had. Tangled in her wants, which she didn't know she'd wanted. She shook her head. The easiest way to deal with this was to talk to Colin. She squared her shoulders and marched into the common room.
"Colin?"
He barely glanced up. "Yes." It wasn't a question. It wasn't an answer. It was just a statement of his acceptance she was there. That riled her enough to push herself into his line of vision. She slammed her hands palm-down on the table, forcing his startled gaze to her eyes.
"What did you say to her, Colin? She's very upset up there." Hermione's voice was soft and pleasant, but there was fire in her eyes.
"I said I didn't want to study with her, that's all." His voice was high pitched; she'd obviously scared him a little. She gloated about that for a second.
"Bull shit, Colin. She wouldn't be flustered by that. What did you say to her?"
"I suggested she go study with you, as you seem to be getting along so well." There was a definite sneer in his voice. Hermione raised one eyebrow.
"What do you mean by that? We've always gotten along well, Colin." She was losing ground fast now, and she knew it. She only hoped he didn't, too.
"I've seen you sneaking off, Hermione," his voice was a furious whisper, now. "I've seen you fix each other's hair and clothes. You take every opportunity to touch each other possible."
"Colin," Hermione tried to laugh, but it stuck in her throat. "There is nothing going on between Ginny and I. We're like sisters. If you think there's some kind of… of… romantic entanglement going on here, you're wrong." She could feel her hands shaking, and she pulled them back from the table, twisting them behind her back instead.
"I don't believe you," he said stubbornly. "She wouldn't have said no if there wasn't someone else. You're the only person she's spending time with." He went pale; he hadn't meant to say that.
"Listen to me, Colin Creevy, and listen well. If you accuse her of something like that again, I will personally tear your throat out with my bare hands. She doesn't need that shit, and nor do I. Keep it to yourself." Her voice was so quiet she could barely hear it. She'd never been so angry in her life. She abruptly turned around and headed back up the dormitory stairs, leaving him looking after her with a mixture of shock and anger on his face.
Hermione stopped halfway up the stairs and sat down, hard. That had been unexpected. She hadn't thought anyone would notice she and Ginny were getting closer. Hell, she'd barely noticed and she was in the middle of it. Furiously, she rubbed her eyes with the tips of her fingers. This wasn't supposed to happen! Maybe it would be best if they stopped seeing each other quite so much. Ginny would understand. She had to understand.
The thought of telling Ginny they couldn't be together all the time made Hermione's heart shudder to a stop, her throat close up. Did she really want that? If she were honest with herself, she wanted nothing of the sort. Ginny's mere presence calmed Hermione's nerves when she needed it. Ginny never asked for more than Hermione could give her and always gave as much as she needed. If Hermione needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to annoy; someone to goof around with; someone to be with; she always had Ginny, and she knew that. She loved Ginny, and she knew that Ginny loved her. There was something tacit about their relationship. Something that never needed to be said. Most everything that never needed to be said.
Hermione sat on the stairs and cried, unaware that just a few feet away; Ginny was doing the same. Both were silent. Neither wanted to worry the other.
Several minutes later, Ginny walked past the top of the stairs, planning to wash her face in cold water and then curl up in a miserable ball in bed. As she passed, she saw a familiar outline hunched on the stairs.
"Hermione? What… what are you doing?"
"Nothing. Nothing, I'm fine." Hermione tried to hide a sniff with a cough, but it didn't work.
"Are you crying? Hermione, why are you crying?" Ginny raced down the stairs to see her friend.
"Stupid reasons." Hermione giggled wetly. "It's no big deal."
"It is, you're crying. Here… let's get you to bed and you can tell me about it."
