The familiar feeling of Myka's breast pressed into the cup of her hand was comforting and filled Helena with a sense of relief. When the artifact was neutralized Myka hadn't changed right back into her proper body, and it had been a little scary for everyone. They started to worry that it had been permanent and maybe that was because they'd waited to long. The idea had made Helena feel guilty, because Myka had prolonged her transformation for them, to give them a chance at something remarkable and precious. But then Pete reminded them that the switch hadn't happened instantly the first time, and that maybe they should wait and see what happened. Apparently the change needed to happen while the body was at complete rest because eight hours after male Myka feel asleep female Myka awoke to a pair of lips crushing hers in a kiss while a pair familiar hands roamed over her body. They'd been interrupted before things could go further by the others wanting to know if Myka was Myka again, but now that they were alone in the shower together they were enjoying getting reacquainted with Myka's true form.
For the next couple of days Myka was off duty, as per the rule following such a huge whammy, just to make sure there weren't any lasting side effects. There was one lingering side effect, her sex drive had not diminished, but she figured that would return to normal once her hormone levels evened out. Of course no one knew this but Helena and she certainly wasn't complaining. During their evenings together Myka and Helena talked about how they felt, about the flashes of guilt Helena had felt and Myka's sudden insecurity. Though they still tended to fall back into the old habit of silent conversations that didn't really get any results, they were much better these days at actually talking to one another about deep things.
Not wanting to push or over load things they quietly decided to let the baby thing rest for the moment. They had what they needed, they knew at some point they would use it, but actually working out when could wait for them to catch their breaths. This had all happened rather quickly after all. In the span of twenty-four hours they had agreed that they wanted to have children together and took the steps to see it happen, now they just both needed a moment to let the dust settle before moving forward. There was still a lot to talk about, a lot to deal with, but they had time.
The need to take the rest of this journey at a more logical pace is why Myka found herself more than a little surprised when she said, "Helena and I are planning to have a baby together."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. To say that Jean and Warren Bering were surprised when their daughter came home one weekend and informed them she was in a romantic relationship with another woman would be an understatement. As far as they knew Myka had never showed any interest in women in that way, and Myka tried to explain that it wasn't so cut and dry. For Myka is was less about Helena's gender and more about Helena herself. Yes, there was a deep physically attraction. Helena was stunning, beautiful, and Myka was drawn to her like a moth to the flame. But above all else Myka was in love with the person; she was in love with Helena's brilliant, creative mind, and her caring, compassionate, scared heart. She admired Helena's strengths and empathized with her weaknesses. Helena's smiles made her world brighter and her tears made her hurt. So yes Helena was a woman, but Helena was Helena, and that's who Myka loved. It was an adjustment for Warren and Jean, but after finally meeting Helena and getting to know her, it was obvious why Myka had fallen for the woman and it was easy to see how much she loved their daughter and how much Myka loved her in return.
"That's wonderful sweetheart." Jean finally said. "Are you planning to adopt?"
"No." Myka replied. "There are, um, procedures, and, ah, well, it's all kind of really medical and stuff, but what matters is that the baby will be ours, hers and mine."
There was another pause before Jean replied, "Well, if you consider the child yours then it'll be a Bering, and we'll welcome it as if it were you own."
The baby would be hers. Myka sighed inwardly. How were they going to explain this? Not just to her parents or other people but to the child when it asked. They couldn't tell the truth, they couldn't tell people Myka had been turned into a man and she'd fathered the child herself. She would have to bring this up with Helena, and they would need to work out an origins story. Origins story? Myka groaned inwardly. She'd been around Pete to long.
"Don't you think you should marry her first?" Warren asked, yanking his daughter out of her own head rather sharply.
"What?" Myka squeaked.
"Myka." Warren said in that tone father's take on while explain a life lesson. "Before you ask a woman to have your children, it's kind of nice to ask her to be your wife first." Myka squeaked again and Warren chuckled. "I know she comes across as a progressive independent woman, and marriage isn't necessary these days, but I think your Helena might have a bit of an old soul and might like the traditional aspects of it."
"It shows her you want to share your life with her for her and not just for any possible children that might happen." Jean added.
Marry Helena? Myka wasn't opposed to the idea, in fact now that it was in her head she kind of liked the idea, but would Helena? During late nights cuddled together in bed when Helena would talk about her old life she had mentioned the handful of times Joseph and Sarah Wells had tried to arrange marriages for their youngest child and only daughter. Each and every time Helena managed to undo all the work her parents had put into setting things up between her and a suitor, much to her parents frustration. Eventually her parents gave up on marrying her off and she was free to do as she pleased. Myka smiled softly as she pictured the proud look on Helena's face after telling her that story. Helena had been so dead set against getting married that she chose to be a single mother in Victorian England, causing a scandal, but she hadn't cared. Helena wasn't about to allow herself to be owned by someone in that way. But then marriage didn't mean what it meant back then, so maybe her dad had a point.
As hard as she tried Myka couldn't shake the thoughts running around in her head. Helena was off with Steve on a case, they were tracking Anastasia's Music Box, so they hadn't really had a chance to talk about much. Helena called her every night but those conversations were always about their days and how they both hated sleeping alone. Helena had said it wouldn't be much longer, she'd be home in a day or two, but then Myka and Pete had been sent off to track down a ping.
"Am I crazy or are donuts better in Canada?" Pete asked before taking a massive bite out of the warm maple dipped donut he'd just gotten from the Tim Hortons they'd stopped at. When Myka didn't reply he looked over to find her staring out the window of their rental car again. "Mykes?" He mumbled around a mouth full of pastry before washing it down with his coffee. "Myka?"
Myka jumped when Pete poked her. "What?"
Pete chuckled at the look on her face, but then he turned a bit more serious as he wiped his mouth and hands. "Ok, you have been spacing out a lot lately. What's on your mind?"
"Nothing." Myka said while giving him that smile that said to drop it.
"Come on Mykes." Pete said gently. "You can talk to me. It might help clear up whatever has you so worked up."
"I'm not worked up." Myka argued. Pete gave her a look and then his eyes went to her lap. When she looked down there was a pile of shredded napkin and she sighed. It took her a moment but she did look up and say, "I talked to my parents the other day and for some reason I told them that Helena and I wanted to have a baby."
"And they weren't cool with the idea?" Pete asked.
They didn't react the way they did every time Tracy talked about babies, but they didn't seem against it, so Myka shook her head. "No, they were ok, but they did assume I meant we were going to adopt and that got me to thinking. How do we explain that Helena and I are both biologically the baby's parents?"
"Stem cells." Pete said without hesitation and far to quickly for this to be a random thought. "They're not doing it here yet but in several European counties they've started progressing the work done at a Japanese university where stem cells are used to produce the opposite reproductive cells of the donor's gender. There have been two successful births, one to a gay couple in England who had to use a surrogate and one to a lesbian couple in Belgium. Both babies were born in perfect health, but they'll be watched pretty much for the rest of their childhood if not their whole lives, well maybe not their whole lives, I don't think they still medically watch the first test tube baby."
Myka sat there staring at Pete with wide disbelieving eyes. "How do you even know that?"
"I read it." Pete said with a blush.
"You read it?" Myka repeated before asking, "Where?"
"In the Advocate." Pete said proudly.
Myka smiled a little bit but still looked dumbstruck. "You read the Advocate?"
Pete looked very proud of himself as he said, "As a straight ally it's important that I keep up to date on things. That way when my best friend comes to me with a problem she's having with her former lady cuckoo girlfriend I can give her better advice than, whatever you don't piss H.G. off, she invents death rays."
"Helena has never invented a death ray." Myka said with a roll of her eyes. The fact that Pete was going out of his way to be a good friend meant a lot to her, and it showed in the way she smiled at him.
"I read War of the Words." Pete said with his twinkling eyes narrowed. "She could if she wanted to."
"Wow Pete!" Myka said playfully. "You're reading things that aren't comic books!"
Pete groaned playfully. "What I won't do for you."
While their playful banter went back and forth Myka thought about what Pete said. They would have to say their baby was an experiment, but at least she could admit the baby was hers. Was she being selfish? They could always just say they used a male relative or something. Was it selfish of her to want to tell people the baby was both of theirs? Or was it pride? Or was it just that she loved Helena, and she would love their child, and she just wanted everyone to know that the little baby was something she and Helena had done together? Myka sighed.
"Look, Mykes, you and Helena will figure it all out." Pete reassured. "You two are going to be great moms."
Myka looked over at her best friend and asked, "You really think so?"
Pete gave her a genuine smile as he said, "Yeah, I really think so."
She returned the affectionate smile before admitting, "My Dad thinks I should marry Helena first."
"Oh a summer wedding would be fabulous!" Pete said with a bit of playful exaggeration.
"What if Helena doesn't want to get married?" Myka asked. "She's had the opportunity before and never once took it. She even refused to marry Christina's father."
"Yeah, of course she did." Pete replied as if that made perfect sense. "Back then she wouldn't have just been married to someone she'd have been like his possession or something. I can't see H.G. living like that. But there's also the fact that none of those losers were you." He smiled at her before continuing. "Myka, the fact that she's willing to have a kid with you, that says a lot. For Helena, that's really really putting her heart and sanity on the line. She wants to have your little baby Mykas and if that doesn't say forever I don't know what else could."
Pete had a point. Helena was willing to face the risk of having and loving another child, despite knowing that sometimes things spun out of control and bad things happened. There was also the fact that Helena wasn't the woman she'd been before. She'd been a woman out of place in Victorian society, born a century to soon. Of course she was going to buck against that social norms of the tie. But she was so a woman shaped by that culture, leaving her a little out of time in this brave new world she'd found herself in. Out of sync back then, and for a while out of time here, and yet here and now, with Myka, Helena had found where she fit, where she belonged. She was the beautiful Victorian porcelain doll that had found her place on the Isle of Misfit Toys.
Maybe Helena was just Victorian enough to want a traditional family and just modern enough to want it with Myka.
Turning to look at her best friend Myka was going to ask Pete when did he become so smart and insightful but her comment died on her tongue as she watched him shove a whole donut into his mouth and turn to smile a stuffed cheeked chipmunk smile at her. Myka rolled her eyes and laughed. "You better not have eaten my walnut crunch, Lattimer, or I'll help Helena invent that death ray."
