Jacob Black:
Every time you see him hold your nose and say " it smells like wet dog in here"
Invite him over dinner and feed him dog biscuits.
When he tries to sit on the sofa say "No, down! Bad dog!"
Tell him that Bella loves him
When he finds out the truth run! Fast!
When he tries to sit at the dinner table smack him on the nose and say "No doggie. Humans: table. Doggie: Floor!"
Bark at him
When he gets annoyed cry. "I was only speaking in your language"
Stare at him then say "I can see why Bella likes Edward more than you"
When he phases steal his clothes
Look at him disgusted when you find out what he's been thinking about Bella.
Call him a pervert and say "ya'know Renesmee's only a baby"
Tell Paul that Jacob is in love with him.
Let Paul do the rest
Write Jakie 3 Eddie EVERYWHERE
Ask him why he still love a MARRIED women then tut and walk away
Say "Heyy Jakey want a bone? Huh? Do ya? Eh? While continuously poking him.
Keep reminding him he nearly lost Bella to a very old man, very old!!
Tell Sam that Jake kissed Emily =O Let him do the rest
Say you should be more like Edward
