Jacob Black:

Every time you see him hold your nose and say " it smells like wet dog in here"

Invite him over dinner and feed him dog biscuits.

When he tries to sit on the sofa say "No, down! Bad dog!"

Tell him that Bella loves him

When he finds out the truth run! Fast!

When he tries to sit at the dinner table smack him on the nose and say "No doggie. Humans: table. Doggie: Floor!"

Bark at him

When he gets annoyed cry. "I was only speaking in your language"

Stare at him then say "I can see why Bella likes Edward more than you"

When he phases steal his clothes

Look at him disgusted when you find out what he's been thinking about Bella.

Call him a pervert and say "ya'know Renesmee's only a baby"

Tell Paul that Jacob is in love with him.

Let Paul do the rest

Write Jakie 3 Eddie EVERYWHERE

Ask him why he still love a MARRIED women then tut and walk away

Say "Heyy Jakey want a bone? Huh? Do ya? Eh? While continuously poking him.

Keep reminding him he nearly lost Bella to a very old man, very old!!

Tell Sam that Jake kissed Emily =O Let him do the rest

Say you should be more like Edward