Bright skies. Everything was peaceful. How he loved this feeling, it always calmed him down after seeing what was happening on Earth. Sometimes he would just stand there for hours, which felt like half of an eternity to him. Looking at the green grass and feeling the sun shining down on him and the ones around him. This was the place he would go to get his head clear. Clear of all the doubts and pain he had experienced in the past weeks. Clear of all these questions. What was going on with him? How did he get into this? What should he do next? Which side should he choose? All these questions were boiling inside of him like hot water and he didn't have anything close to an answer. But then suddenly the ground beneath him was shaking and the lovely picture he just saw began to break into little bits and pieces. He heard a deep growl coming from under the ground. No this couldn't be happening! This was his place of peace not of terror! He had to do something but he couldn't move his legs. What was happening? He couldn't control the motions of his body anymore. He was lost. The ground beneath him was gone and he was falling. Falling into darkness. Into the pit. Chains wrapped around his body and started to burn his skin away. The pain floated through his veins and his head there was a bright light and suddenly hot fire burning around him. Unable to move he saw someone walking towards him. Huge black wings on his back and he had an unpleasant grin on his face. In the light of the fire he could recognize his fallen brother. Panic aroused in him and he looked around. Shockingly he had to assert that he was surrounded by hideous demons. His fallen brother looked him right in the eyes. He could see the rage burning inside him and slowly but surely the monster within his fallen brother was crawling to the surface. He couldn't bear to watch this so he closed his eyes. The only thing he heard was the laughter of the demons around him, the laughter of his brother himself and the painful screams in the distance of the unfortunate souls in hell. He wasn't entirely sure what he felt because angels didn't feel anything. At least he was told so. But he was wrong. Because right in that moment he felt scared, panic and helpless. The sound of the laughter was getting louder and louder and surely but slowly he was turning crazy. "STOP!" he shouted but they didn't hear him. He was still pressing his eyelids together and had to fight against the tears, which made their way to the surface. This couldn't be happening. He was an angel! Why was he experiencing so many emotions all of the sudden?! But then, just as he thought he couldn't stand all of it anymore, the sound slowly went away and he opened his eyes. The chains were gone, as was the fire and the demons. Even his fallen brother was suddenly gone. There was nothing but white around him. He heard a voice but couldn't quite understand what it was saying. And then suddenly he was falling. Again. It seemed like all he was doing was falling. At least to him. While he was falling he saw familiar faces. Dead faces. And then the guilt came back to his mind and this time there was nowhere he could hide from it. He had to confront it. The guilt, that he was responsible for all these deaths, hurt like fire in his body. He closed his eyes again and wanted to run away from this guilt but he just couldn't. He had to face it. All these faces were dead because of him. And it was his job to fix it. As he opened his eyes he was facing a familiar sight. Something that he had almost forgotten. He was lying and his brother was leaning over him. Suddenly he felt a sting and then he saw a bright light, so bright that he couldn't see anything anymore and so he closed his eyes. "Castiel! Cassie!" he heard a familiar voice say. But it wasn't the voice of his brother he just saw. It was another brother. A lost brother. At least he thought he was lost. "Cassie!" he heard the voice say louder this time and suddenly everything went black.

With a choked scream Castiel woke up and looked into the eyes of his older brother Gabriel, who was leaning over him. Castiel felt Gabriel's hands grabbing his shoulders. He was dreaming. His pulse was fast, almost as if he just had to run for his life. Sweat was dripping from his face and he looked confused at his brother. Gabriel tried to calm him down by putting his hand on Castiel's cheek.

"You were dreaming Cas." he said softly. "It's alright, You're save here." he assured his brother. Castiel was still looking confused through the room. He needed a few more moments to be sure that he wasn't dreaming anymore. It felt so real, with real emotions. Human emotions he had never really experienced. Not like this.

"Hey. Cassie, are you okay?" he heard his brother ask and turned his head to face him. Gabriel could see the fear in his younger brother's eyes. What was he dreaming about? The way he was struggling while he was asleep, it must have been a nightmare. A very bad nightmare judging by his behavior. He didn't look alright. No, not at all.

Castiel took one more breath and he needed a short moment to answer. He looked up at Gabriel. His older brother looked concerned. Castiel had never seen him like this. All these new things, that were happening around himself, were confusing him. He wasn't even sure what to do, say or feel.

"Yes… I think I am." he eventually replied to his brother's question. "But I am still confused." he said honestly, because he didn't know what else to say. "What is happening to me?" He wanted answers, because he didn't have any of his own.

"Cas." Gabriel laid a hand on his shoulder and searched for the right words. "You are human now and humans experience a big spectrum of emotions. And you… you are feeling them all at once and most of them you have never felt before. Probably." He paused and shook his head. "That's what is causing all of this pain and in your case confusion. And probably also your nightmare." Castiel looked surprised.

"How did you know I had a nightmare?" Castiel asked and was still processing all that what his brother just told him. Gabriel sighed and removed his hand from Castiel's shoulder. Instead of answering him, he took a towel, put it into some cold water, wrung it out and put it onto Cas' forehead. His temperature was still higher than normal. Gabriel was feeling the disturbance, the restlessness within Castiel. It just hurt him to just sit there, feeling his younger brother's bad condition and being unable to help.

"You were struggling in your sleep and trembling. I came to check on you and found you like that so the best thing to do was to wake you up before it got worse." Gabriel explained. He paused a moment before continue to speak. "What were you dreaming about?" he asked and already regretted it. Castiel's eyes widened as the memories of his nightmare came back. The Apocalypse, Lucifer and his demons, falling down and eventually Metatron leaning over him and taking his grace from him. He shivered and Gabriel laid his hand on his shoulder to calm Castiel down.

"I…" Castiel started but struggled to continue. "I dreamed about the last months. All that what happened." He laid back down into the pillows and looked at Gabriel's concerned face.

"You mean the Apocalypse?" Gabriel asked to be sure. Castiel just nodded. He was tired again. But if he tried to sleep now, he would just get back thrown into that horrible nightmare. Fear was one of the worst feelings he felt till now. He couldn't handle it. He was afraid of looking at his fallen brother. He had to admit, that he scared him. Castiel didn't want to go back to sleep just to see that face again.

"Come on now, Cassie. Don't think about that, that's all in the past. Try to get some more rest, you have to get your strength back." Gabriel smiled and covered Castiel in a blanket. Castiel looked at him.

"Why?" he just asked. Why would he need his strength now? There was nothing he could do. He was human now and he was still trying to accept that. He spent so much time watching and observing the humans but to be one himself was actually too much for him. Now that he was experiencing all these emotions, he admired the humans how they could keep on going. How did they manage this?

"Because you need it when we're going to retrieve your grace." Gabriel interrupted his thoughts. Castiel couldn't believe what he just heard.

"What?" he replied in surprise. "How are we going to do that? Metatron took it from me and now he is unreachable for us." Castiel explained to his brother. Gabriel shook his head.

"The gates of heaven may be closed and that dick might just be getting comfortable up there without us. But we are going to find a way up there, deal with that coward and get your grace back! I promise." The serious look in Gabriel's face told Castiel that his brother wasn't lying about this. He was dead serious. It wasn't just getting Castiel's grace back that drove Gabriel, but he also had a few things to fix up there. And he would deal with Metatron for what he had done.

Something interrupted their conversation. Gabriel turned his head and faced the door. He heard footsteps and some voices. Probably the Winchesters. By the sound of it Sam wasn't doing to great either.

"I'm just gonna see what's going on there." Gabriel said and faced his younger brother again. But Castiel didn't hear him, he had his eyes closed and was asleep again.

"You stay here little bro, I'm gonna take care of this."